消消气（2000）

It makes no sense, unless you're trying to get laid.
这完全没道理 除非她想跟你上♥床♥
And maybe that's what she was trying to do.
可能她就是想要这个
Maybe Cheryl wanted to get laid.
也许谢丽儿是想跟你上♥床♥了
Okay, I got your point.
好吧 我懂你意思了
Listen, the two of you will take this.
听着 一会儿由你俩主导
You know, l'll introduce it, and you'll run with it, okay?
我先来介绍 然后你们就接着我的话继续 行吗？
They're ready for you guys now. Then here we go then.
你们现在可以进去了 那我们进去吧
You ready?
准备好了吗？
There they are.
他们来了
Hi, how are you? Good to see you, too.
嗨 最近还好吗？ 我也很高兴见到你
Hi, Michael, how are you?
嗨 迈克 你还好吗？
Good. European.
很好 欧式见面礼
Yes, very. Hi, how are you?
对 非常欧式 嗨 你好吗？
Everybody, good to see you. You know Michael Halbreich?
很高兴见到大家 你认识迈克哈尔布莱施吗？
Yeah, hi, Michael. Larry, nice to see you again.
你好 迈克 拉里 很高兴又见面了
Very cute. I have it in blue, too.
真可爱 我还有个蓝色的
I gave Melissa one of those, it's really nice.
我也给梅丽莎买♥♥了一个 真的很不错
Hi, honey. You all right?
嗨 亲爱的 你好吗？
Hi, Larry, it's Judy. It's nice to see you here.
嗨 拉里 这是朱迪 很高兴在这儿见到你
It took about 45 minutes for that, didn't it?
已经过了大概四十五分钟了吧？
Jesus Christ. Sorry, Larry.
上帝啊 抱歉 拉里
You gotta make the nice.
得好好打招呼才行
Yeah. Gotta make the nice.
没错 好好认识一下
You've gotta make the nice. How's the stepfather doing?
必须要好好打招呼 你继父还好吗？
Good. He's doing better now?
他很好 现在好多了？
Yeah. Yeah, miraculous recovery he had?
对 奇迹般地痊愈了？
All right, so talk to me.
好了 跟我说说吧
We got a big show to pitch for you, big show.
我们有个很棒的节目想法想说给你们听听
All right. Something different and interesting.
好的 与众不同 非常有趣
I'll let the principals take care of it for you. All right, Larry and I were talking...
让主角给你们介绍吧 好的 拉里和我最近...
about this concept recently, and I think it's pretty exciting.
讨论了这么个主意 我觉得很激动人心
All right, you start, and then l'll, you know...
你来开始吧 然后我就...
do a dance and cheerlead and stuff.
跳个舞什么的 当啦啦队
How were the garlic noodles, the other night?
那天晚上的蒜瓣面好吃吗？
What? The garlic noodles?
什么？ 蒜瓣面？
I didn't touch your garlic noodles. I didn't say you touched my garlic noodles.
我没碰你的蒜瓣面 我没说你动了我的蒜瓣面
They were your garlic noodles. Right.
是你点了蒜瓣面 好吧
But you did touch the shrimp.
但是你动了我的虾
What are you talking about?
你在说什么？
Right, Al? I ordered Chinese food the other night...
对吧 老艾？那天晚上我点了中餐
and we got our orders mixed up.
我们把订单搞混了
And when I got my order back from him...
我从他那儿拿到我的饭的时候
about seven or eight shrimp were missing.
七八只虾不见了
No.
不是吧
The shrimp mysteriously disappeared.
虾神秘地消失了
I didn't touch your shrimp. Who gives a shit, come on, Larry.
我没碰过你的虾 谁在乎啊 别说了 拉里
I don't want to talk about shrimp.
我不想说什么虾的事
I would understand that you don't want to talk about it.
我理解你不想说这件事
Look, Larry, you got your food, l got my food.
瞧 拉里 你拿到了你的饭 我也拿到了我的
Yeah, you got your full order, l got mine minus seven shrimp.
没错 你的饭是完整的 我的少了七只虾
You counted the shrimp, you're a shrimp-counter now.
你还数了 你现在是专职数虾了吗
It's pretty obvious when there's two shrimp.
只剩两只虾的时候很明显就看出来了
Listen, I didn't touch your fucking shrimp. Really?
听好了 我才没动你的破虾 真的吗？
If you want shrimp, take your $475 million, go buy a fucking shrimp boat.
想要虾的话 拿着你的 4.75 亿美金去买♥♥个捕虾船吧
Yeah, okay. Larry, come on.
好的 拉里 别这样
He's gonna walk out now. This is what he's famous for.
他又要溜走了 他就是靠这个出名的
Nothing changes in 25 years with this guy. Same shit.
二十五年了 这家伙一点儿都没变 一样的垃圾
I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry.
对不起 我真的很抱歉
What where you doing? What was that?
你在干嘛？那是演的哪一出？
He insulted me. How?
他侮辱我 怎么侮辱了？
He implied that I was lying about my stepfather.
他暗示我在继父的事情上撒谎了
You don't have a stepfather. I know, but I didn't like the implication.
你根本没有继父 我知道 但是我不喜欢他的含沙射影
The implication for your imaginary stepfather?
对你想象中的继父含沙射影？
How can he insult you about somebody who's imaginary?
如果那个人根本不存在 他怎么能侮辱得到？
For goodness sake... Because it was...
真是见鬼了... 因为那是...
Let me just ask you something, what is the shrimp business?
我问你 虾是怎么一回事？
You know, he got my container by mistake from the Chinese restaurant...
他不小心在餐馆错拿了我的饭
and he took out eight shrimp from it...
但是他吃了里面的八只虾...
that didn't belong to him, and gave it back to me.
那些虾不是他的 然后他把饭还给我了
As if I wasn't gonna know that he took the shrimp?
好像我看不出来他拿了虾似的
What does he think, l'm a moron?
他觉得我是白♥痴♥吗？
Larry, everybody steals shrimp, and everybody lies about it.
拉里 所有人都干过这事 所有人都会撒谎
This is Hollywood. You got to apologize to this guy.
这是好莱坞 你得跟他道歉
Please. You have to apologize.
快去吧 你得道歉
We want to make this here. I want to make this here.
我们想做成这件事 我不想就这么黄了
Go apologize. I'll tell you something else, too.
去道歉吧 还有 我不得不说
You have to get yourself into major psychoanalysis.
你得好好看看心理医生了
I'm in analysis, it doesn't do anything.
我看了医生 但是没什么效果
What kind of analysis? Does nothing.
医生怎么说的？ 完全没用
Apparently not.
显然没用
Have you talked to him about your imaginary stepfather?
你跟他说过你想象中的继父的事吗？
I'll tell you this right now.
我现在就告诉你们
I'm going back to that Chinese restaurant, and l'll go count the shrimp...
我要回那家中餐馆去 我要去数虾...
and ask them how many they put in the container.
还要问他们往盒子里装了几只虾
I'll bet you there's eight missing, at least. You do that!
我敢打赌至少少了八个 你去数吧！
Everyone, the game is five-card stud. Everyone ante up there.
我们玩的是梭哈 大家先下注吧
So, Mickey, what do you do? I'm a dentist.
米奇 你是做什么的？ 我是牙医
I've been Brad and Julia's dentist for years.
我给布拉德和茱莉亚看牙很多年了
Really, Mickey, that is good to know...
真的啊 米奇 那太好了...
because I actually need a dentist, mine just moved.
我正需要个牙医呢 我原来的牙医搬走了
Give Candy a call on Monday. I will.
周一给坎迪打个电♥话♥就行了 好的
You know, my dentist told me l have the gums of a 25-year-old man.
我的牙医跟我说我的牙跟二十五岁的小伙子一样好
I think it was about the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
我觉得这可能是别人跟我说过的最好的话了
Everything's okay with you and Allan, right?
你跟艾伦没事了吧？
Larry, you guys are all made up and everything?
拉里 你们俩和好了吧？
Yes, we kissed and made up. This is the unfortunate shrimp incident?
对 都和好了 是那个关于虾的不幸事件的吗？
That's the one. I've been dying to hear this.
就是那件事 我好想知道是怎么一回事
There was a mix up at a Chinese takeout restaurant.
他们的中餐外卖♥♥对调了
Larry got Allan's order, and Allan, Larry's.
拉里拿了艾伦的 艾伦拿了拉里的
I guess when they switched them back, Allan had taken seven of your shrimp?
他们换回来的时候 艾伦拿了你的七只虾？
That's my claim, yeah. Allegedly.
我是这么说的 对 据说是这样
Right, and it turned into a big thing and he stomped out of the meeting...
这事儿在开会的时候爆发了 他当场就走人了
which I had never seen before. I almost thought it was not real, but it was.
我从没见过这样的事 我都觉得不是真的 但是的确发生了
I saw the Jackson Pollock movie the night before...
前一天晚上我看了部马景涛的电影
and I got very influenced by the artist, you know.
被他影响了
It was very impressive.
真令人印象深刻
But everything's fine now, and we're very delighted...
但是现在都好了 我们非常高兴...
you guys are with HBO, very happy to have you.
你们能找 HBO 合作 很高兴跟你们一起
Where are we? I've lost... l'm out, she's out.
到哪儿了？我忘了... 我弃了 她也弃了
I'm in.
我跟了
No, you're not out, sweetie, it's only two.
不 你还没弃呢 亲爱的 才发了两张
God, okay. Okay, you're good.
哦 对 好了 你的都好了
All right, l'm such a ditz, okay.
好吧 我真傻
So, Larry, how come you guys didn't take the show to NBC...
拉里 你们为什么不去跟 NBC 谈...
with the history you guys have there?
你们不是都跟他们合作那么久了吗？
You want to answer that question? Because I wouldn't let him.
你想回答这个问题吗？ 因为我不让他去
You wouldn't let him?
你不让他去？
Because GE will not take responsibility for dumpin' the PCBs in the Hudson river.
因为通用电器往哈德逊河里倒多氯联苯 还不肯为此负责
And I say, why keep supporting them? It's ridiculous.
我就说 为什么还要支持他们呢？太荒谬了
But the main thing l would like to add is that on HBO...
但是我想说 还有一个主要原因 就是在 HBO ...
you can say "fuck."
可以说"操"
And that is, you know, very tempting...
这很诱人
So you throw in a "fuck," you double your laughs.
更多"操" 更多欢笑
It's a crowd-pleaser. "Fuck" is a crowd-pleaser.
大家都喜欢脏话 都喜欢说"操"
You write it, and l'll say it. The game is...
你写了我就能说 我们来玩...
The game is Guts.
我们来玩拼胆
Card skill game, Brad.
考验技巧的游戏 布拉德
No one appreciates Guts, what's the matter?
没人喜欢拼胆吗？怎么回事？
Let's play it. Two-card Guts or three-card Guts?
来玩吧 玩两张牌的还是三张牌的？
Two-card Guts, two cards down.
两张牌的 两张暗牌