消消气（2000）

If it was any other night... Trick or treat, bangbang!
如果是其他的夜晚 不给糖就捣蛋 嘣嘣！
But it's trick or treat. We cut the kids a little slack on Halloween.
但那是万圣小把戏 在万圣节前夕 我们让孩子们放松
It's kind of a social contract you enter when you open that door.
当你打开那扇门时 你就默认了一种社会契约
They say, "Trick or treat," l would advise you, give the treat.
她们说"不给糖就捣蛋" 我给你的建议是 给她们糖
Why don't you give them the candy next time, Larry?
你为什么不下次给他们糖果呢 拉里？
I will not be intimidated. Even on Halloween.
即使在万圣节 我也不会被吓倒
Are you playing golf?
你打高尔夫么？
Today? No, I played yesterday.
今天么？不 我昨天打了
What are you doing dressed like that?
为什么你穿成这样？
I like the outfit. I like the way it looks.
我喜欢这套衣服 我喜欢它的样子
Yeah, but it's a golf outfit. It's sort of...
是呀 但是这是高尔夫套装 有一点
Doesn't have to be just golf. You can't walk around? It's a shirt.
不一定是打高尔夫球 没事不能穿吗？ 这是一件衬衫
It looks good on you. That's what people tell me.
你穿这个不错 别人也这么说
So maybe... People are right.
所以也许 人们说得对
Wanna play tomorrow?
明天想打高尔夫么？
I actually can't. It's Cheryl's birthday.
事实上我去不了 那是谢丽儿的生日
So...
所以
And why can't you?
然而为什么你不行？
Don't I have to spend her birthday with her or something?
我难道不需要和她一起过生日或做点别的么？
Early in the morning, what does it matter? Is she a baby?
大清早的 有什么关系？她是婴儿吗？
How old is she, 5 or 6 years old?
她多大了 五岁还是六岁？
Maybe you're right. You're taking her out for dinner.
也许你是对的 你带她出去吃晚饭
Yeah, I don't have to chained to her the whole day.
对 我不用一整天都在她身边
Why can't we play golf? I'll come by in the morning.
为什么我们不能打高尔夫？我会在早上过来的
I haven't seen the house yet, anyhow.
无论如何 我还没有去过你家
Great. We'll play. You're on for tomorrow.
棒 我们明天打球 你明天上场
Not a religious holiday... No.
也不是宗教假期 不是
Let's talk about the Jason Alexander thing.
让我们来谈谈杰森亚历山大的事情吧
What's going on?
现在什么情况？
I'm done with it. It's over.
我是受够了 结束了
He didn't wanna drive to your office and the whole thing's off?
就因为他不肯开车去你办公室整件事就完了？
I went to his office twice, he never came to mine.
我去了两次他的办公室 但是他从来没来过我的
This is just... Excuse my language, this is completely fucked.
这只是...原谅我说的 这完全是扯淡
It's too bad. It was a great idea.
太差劲了 这是一个好主意
I heard that Julia is looking for a project.
我听说茱莉亚在找项目
And if you ask me, you can do the exact same project with her.
如果你问我的话 你可以和她做同样的项目
Actually...
事实上
it could really work with her.
在她身上也说得通
She does have the exact same problem with Elaine.
她确实与伊莲存在同样的问题
People always see her as Elaine. They just want her to do Elaine.
人们总是把她当作伊莲 人们只是想让她做伊莲
All I got to do... lt's the same thing.
我需要做的 也是一样的事情
And I know she's been looking for a show.
然而我知道她一直在寻找一个节目
I'm gonna call Julia. Great.
我要去联♥系♥茱莉亚 太好了
Larry. Gotta quit meeting like this.
拉里 穿成这样开完会了
So, can I ask you something?
所以 可以问一些事情么？
How's the golf? I didn't play golf, Donald.
高尔夫打的怎么样？ 我没打高尔夫呀 唐纳德
"I don't play golf." Look at that shirt.
"我没打高尔夫！"看看你的衬衫
I'm just wearing a shirt. I like this shirt.
我只是穿了衬衫 我喜欢这件衣服
Nobody wears a shirt like that unless they're gonna golf.
人只有打高尔夫才会这么穿
I like this shirt. I get a lot of compliments on this outfit.
我喜欢这件衬衫 我穿这件衣服受到很多赞美
Fine, if that's the way it's gonna be, so be it.
好吧 如果是这样的 那就这样吧
No, it's not the way it's gonna be. I like the clothes.
不 它不是你以为的那样 我喜欢这些衣服
You don't have to just wear them on the golf course.
你不用只在打高尔夫时这么穿
You're sick.
你令我恶心
You can wear clothes, these clothes don't...
你可以穿衣服 这些衣服不...
Stop it.
别说了
Shelley?
雪莱？
Shelley's not here.
雪莱不在这儿
Hey, Cliff. What are you doing?
嗨 克里夫 你在干什么？
I need the bracelet that she made for me.
我需要她帮我做的那条手链
Yeah, the bracelet.
是呀 手链
Yeah, it's my wife's birthday tomorrow. So...
嗯 我老婆明天生日 所以
Yeah, yeah, your wife's birthday.
嗯 是的 你老婆的生日
Forget the bracelet, Larry.
忘了那条手链吧 拉里
There isn't gonna be any bracelet. No bracelet, I know what's going on.
这里不会有任何手链 没有手链 我知道发生了什么
You know what's going on. I know what's going on.
你知道发生了什么 我知道发生了什么
You think I don't have eyes?
你以为我没长眼睛么？
I'm not blind. Get it straight, all right? My eyes work.
我没瞎 弄清楚好吗？我的眼睛能看见
What the hell are you talking about? What am I talking about?
你♥他♥妈♥的在说什么？ 我在说什么？
I'm talking about the little knee game with Shelley.
我说的是你和雪莱的膝间小游戏
I'm talking about the arm over the neck. You're busted.
我说的是你用胳膊靠近她的脖子 你被抓包了
Oh, yeah, l'm busted.
哦 是的 我被抓包了
She told me in the restaurant, you propositioned her.
她在餐厅告诉我了 你对她提出了非分的要求
I was joking around at the table, okay?
那是餐桌上开的玩笑 好么？
And she probably took me seriously.
而且她有可能把我的话当真了
She did take it seriously, l'm taking it seriously, too.
她当真了 我也当真了
I was joking around 'cause you guys were talking...
我在开玩笑 因为你们一直在说话
and I wanted to see if you were paying attention.
我想看看你们是不是注意到了
You didn't even hear me say that.
你甚至没有听到我说这个
So that's how friends joke around. One friend jokes with the other friend.
原来朋友是这么开玩笑的 一个朋友和另一个朋友开玩笑
"Let me ask his wife to screw me." That's how you joke around?
"我去叫他的老婆和我上♥床♥" 你就是这么开玩笑的么？
Wait a second. What the hell are you wearing?
等一下 你穿的是什么鬼
What? Those are golf clothes.
什么？ 这是高尔夫球服
I didn't golf today. You said you weren't golfing.
我今天没有打高尔夫 你说你没去
Why are you wearing those clothes? I like the way they look.
那你为什么穿成这样？ 我喜欢球服的样子
You expect me to believe that?
你期望我会相信你说的？
Yeah, they look good. People compliment me.
是的 他们看起来不错 大家夸我啦
They don't look good! I'm tucking in now!
这看起来并不好 我现在都掖进去穿了！
I can see. You're a liar, man!
我看的到 你个骗子！
I'm a liar? You're a twofaced, backstabbing liar.
我是骗子？ 你这个两面派 暗箭伤人的骗子
I'm just realizing this now.
我怎么现在才发现
It's all coming crystal clear now? Yeah.
现在你都看清楚了 是的
I'm the guy who goes around telling people...
我是一个给周围人说...
that "my grandfather invented the Cobb salad"!
"我的祖父发明了科布沙拉"
That's true. That's me who does that?
那是真的 这么做的是我吗？
That's true.
那是真的
The Cobb salad, my friend, was invented in 1937...
我的朋友 科布沙拉是1937年
by Bob Cobb at the Brown Derby!
布朗德比餐厅的鲍勃科布发明的
That son of a bitch stole that salad from my grandfather.
那个王八蛋从我祖父那里偷走了沙拉配方
Bullshit! And you call my grandfather a liar?
扯淡！ 你是在说我的祖父骗人么？
You're dead, you son of a bitch!
你死定了 你这个王八蛋！
It was invented in 1937...
科布沙拉是1937年
by Bob Cobb in the Brown Derby Restaurant.
布朗德比餐厅的鲍勃科布发明的
What's he gonna say? I had him dead to rights.
他想说什么呀？我证据确凿啊
Oh, my God. I gotta call you back.
哦 天呀 我一会给你打回去
Hey, Elvira.
嗨 埃尔维拉
Some fucking weirdo is trying to talk to me. I'll call you back.
某个怪人要跟我说话 我一会给你打回去
Hey, Elvira! What the fuck do you want?
嗨 埃尔维拉 你♥他♥妈♥要干啥？
"What the fuck"? That's some language for a 13-year-old girl.
"我他妈"？这是一个13岁的孩子该说的话么
Impressive? Very impressive. Yes.
印象深刻？是的 难以忘怀
Did you have a good time last night?
你昨晚过的好么？
Yeah? I'd like to talk to your parents.
额？我想和你的家长谈谈
They're not home. They're not home?
他们不在家 他们不在家么？
No, they're not. Can I help you with anything?
是的 他们不在 还有什么能帮您的么？
I suspect they are. Or you wouldn't be out here smoking.
我怀疑你家长在家 否则你不会出来抽烟
No, I have respect for the household. Do you?
不 我只是顾及家人 你会么？
Yeah, l'll bet you do.
嗯 我觉得你会
Larry David!
拉里大卫！
What brings you to our Jewish home?
你怎么来我们这个犹太家庭了？
Well, well, now it all makes perfect sense.
很好 很好 现在这一切都讲得通了
What makes perfect sense? This is your daughter.
什么完全讲的通？ 她是你的女儿
Yes, this is my daughter.
是的 她是我的女儿
I think you might be interested in knowing that your daughter, last night...
我认为你应该对你女儿昨晚做了什么很感兴趣
threw eggs at my house, papered my house with toilet paper...
向我家扔鸡蛋 用厕纸贴我房♥子
wrote "bald asshole" on my door.
在我家门上写着"秃头混♥蛋♥"
Bullshit.
扯淡
Threw eggs at his house and put...
向他的房♥子扔鸡蛋并且放...
No, she says no. He's crazy.
不 她说了不 他疯了
She's a liar. She's not a liar.
她是个骗子 她才不是
No, you're a liar. You're a liar as a human being.
不 你这个骗子 你是人类中的骗子