克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E07

Part 7 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:20 p.m.

开门
-Doors open.
-[groans]
不过至少这次行程是一无所获的
[Jeremy] Still, at least the
trip was completely pointless.
25英镑 100克
£25, 100 grams.
-让我想一下我会…
-是吗？
-Let me digest that and I'll--
-[Kaleb] Yeah?
我回头打电♥话♥给你
Yeah, I'll give you a call.
-你确定不想现在买♥♥吗？
-现在不买♥♥
-You're sure you don't want to
buy it now?
-Unfortunately, not now, no.
该死！好吧再见
Shit! Okey-dokey. Cheers.
妈妈
-[cell phone rings]
-Mum.
喂我信♥号♥♥不好
Hello. My signal is bad.
我在碎片大厦
I'm up the Shard.
听过吗？
Ever heard of it?
是伦敦的一座大楼不太好
It's like a big building in
London. It's not very good.
大概有300米高
It's like 1,000 feet up in the
air.
我得挂了好吧？
Look, I've got to go, all right?
-谁的电♥话♥？
-我妈
-[director] Who was that, Kaleb?
-That was my mum.
她担心我
She was worried about me.
[chuckles]
她看到我在家庭地图上的位置说
She's seen me on the family map
thing and said,
“你为什么在伦敦？” 我说：“我在碎片大厦”
"Why are you in London?"
I'm like, "I'm up the Shard."
她说：“哪儿？” “伦敦的碎片大厦”
She goes, "Where?" "The Shard
in London."
我必须得承认风景不错
I must admit, it's quite a nice
view, actually.
如果有农场、田地和山丘就更好了
It would be better if there was,
like, a farm, fields, hills.
-你还好吧？
-不不太好
-[director] Are you all right?
-No, not really.
今天我赚了…
Today I have made...
一无所获
nothing.
[gospel music playing]
卡勒布在伦敦销♥售♥山葵失败后
[Jeremy] After Kaleb's failure
to sell the wasabi in London,
我们把山葵放在了农用商店…
we put it in the farm shop...
最后烂掉了
where it rotted.
坏消息还不止于此
And that wasn't the end of the
bad news.
老天爷！
God above!
因为丽莎对本地♥产♥品的定义
Because Lisa's definition of
local produce
引起了官方的注意
had come to the attention
of the authorities.
我收到了政♥府♥一封烦人的邮件
I've had an annoying email
from the council
说我们在农用商店卖♥♥的东西
which says that, um,
the stuff we sell in the farm
shop
必须来自
has to be from a producer
仅位于西牛津郡区域境内的制♥造♥商
based solely within
West Oxfordshire's district
boundaries
他们说一些甜点、芝士和其他产品
and they're saying that some of
the pâté
and cheese and what-have-you
来自格洛斯特郡
is from Gloucestershire.
现在正值疫情
I mean, there's a pandemic
going on.
上百万人失业
Millions of people are
unemployed.
我们一个小本买♥♥卖♥♥雇了五个员工
We have a little business that
now has five people on
the payroll,
我们在支持本地农场和本地商业
we're supporting local farms
and local businesses
现在我们面临一个针对我们开庭审理的执法案件
and now we have to have
an enforcement case
opened on us.
老天啊帮帮我吧！
I mean, God, give me strength!
[country music playing]
幸运的是我已经想到一个绝妙的办法
Fortunately, I had already
had a genius idea
让产品变得非常本土
for making the produce very
local.
好了我把蜂窝块拿来
All right. I put the bee
honeycomb stuff.
我决定把多余的蜂蜡做成香薰蜡烛
I'd decided to turn my spare
beeswax into scented candles.
Oh!
香味灵感来自一位好莱坞知名人士
Taking my inspiration for the
scent from a Hollywood A-lister.
你觉得如何？
What do you think of that?
[gasps]
不仅有薰衣草
And not just lavender.
大葱
A spring onion.
来一点蚕豆
Just a hint of broad bean.
好了
And there we are.
静置一下
Let that set.
在店里丽莎对结果很满意
At the shop, Lisa was delighted
with the results.
你不能贴“闻起来像我的蛋蛋”
You cannot label that
"This smells like my bollocks."
不行
You just can't.
格温妮丝帕特洛凭借
Gwyneth Paltrow has made a
fortune
她…阴♥道♥气味的蜡烛可没少赚
from her candles which smell
like her...
你觉得因为它气味像你的蛋蛋所以可以卖♥♥更多？
[mouthing] vagina.
Do you think these will sell
more
because it smells like your
bollocks?
看我还写了
[Jeremy] I've also-- Look,
"These beeswax scented candles
“这些蜂蜡蜡烛由杰雷米克拉克森亲手制♥作♥
were handmade by Jeremy
Clarkson.
“谁知道呢不过是真的” 我还签名证明了是我做的
You'd never know it, but it's
true,"
and I've signed it to prove I
made them.
[country music playing]
与此同时在鳟鱼鱼塘
Meanwhile, down at the trout
pond,
安全返回他的自然生活区的卡勒布
Kaleb, now safely back
in his natural habitat,
正忙着保护另一个收入来源
was busy protecting
another source of revenue.
我在布网布电网
[Kaleb] I am putting a fence up.
An electric fence up.
我们在旁边看到一些死鱼
We've seen a couple of dead fish
on the side.
哦可怜的小鱼身上有一些穿刺伤
Oh, poor fishy. It's got some
puncture wounds on it.
杰雷米在这里设了陷阱相机
So, Jeremy put a trap camera
down here
想看看鱼的死因
to see what was causing the
fish to die.
结果发现是因为水獭
Turned out there was an otter.
所以我要布电网
So, I'm putting up an electric
fence
包围鱼塘
around the outside of the pond
where the fish are,
试图阻止水獭进入
to try and stop that otter
getting in.
但我们布置这些还有一个原因是为了防止苍鹭进来
But we've also had to put this
up because
the heron keeps
coming in.
它也会吃鱼
That's another thing
that will take a fish.
我得把电网支起来
So, I've had to put this fence
up,
竖起猫头鹰模型把苍鹭吓走
put the owl up to try and scare
the heron away...
[grunts]
立一个金属人
and put a metal man up
也是为了驱赶它
to try and deter him as well.
要照看鱼有很多事要做
There's a lot of work in fish.
[country music playing]
一周后我的本地酒吧同意把我们的鳟鱼加入菜单
[Jeremy] A week later, my local
pub
agreed to put our trout on its
menu.
于是我带着网来到鱼塘觉得内心很矛盾
So, I went down to the pond
with a net,
feeling weirdly conflicted.
这个电网在这里的唯一原因
-The only reason this fence is
here...
-Yeah.
就是阻止水獭吃鱼
...is to stop the otter eating
the fish,