克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E02

Part 4 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:18 p.m.

I'd wander about with his coat hangers,
但当我路过一个盛满雨水的水槽…
but when I passed
a trough full of rain water...
看啊
Look at that. [gasps]
太神奇了
That is bizarre.
看…看啊
Look at... look at that.
真惊人
[laughs] That's astonishing.
德鲁伊祭司还说当金属线交叉时
The druid also said
that when the wires crossed,
我就站在管道正上方
I'd be directly above a pipe.
Ooh.
你好
Ooh, hello.
看…看这个
Look at... look at this.
是的这里正是地图上说的管道所在地
Yep, this is exactly where it says
on the map that the pipe would be.
通过巫术确认管道存在后
Having used witchcraft
to establish the pipes still exist,
我觉得某个地方肯定有个水箱为管道送水
I reckoned that somewhere,
there must be a tank that fed them all.
从逻辑上讲应该在高处
And that, logically, it would be
located on high ground.
在这里比较合理
Make sense that it would be up here
因为这里是农场的最高点
because this is
just about the highest point of the farm.
从溪流把水泵送过来
So you'd pump the water up from a stream,
然后利用重力把水送向水槽
to here, and then let gravity
take it back down to all the troughs.
这也不会…等等
And it also isn't... ooh, hang on.
等等
Hang on.
好吧气味很不好闻
Okay, that smells pretty bad.
[grunts]
好这里有个水箱大约一万五千升
Okay, what we have here is a tank,
maybe 4,000 gallons.
有一个进水管
What we've got is a pipe coming in,
大约半米之上有一个出水管
and then about two feet higher,
a pipe going out.
[grunts]
[coughs]
为了弄清楚水箱是否能向管道和水槽送水
To find out if the tank fed
the pipes and the troughs,
我需要向里面注水
I needed to send some water through it,
于是我打电♥话♥叫来了有水槽车的当地人
so I called in some locals with a bowser.
莱斯
[man] Les. [laughs]
[chuckles]
他没事他只是在拿探测器自娱自乐
He's always amusing himself down there
with those diviners.
把水槽车和看上去像是水箱外导管的地方连好后
[Jeremy] Having connected the bowser to
what looked like the tank's outlet pipe,
我们开始抽水
we started pumping.
[motor starts]
该走了我们快跳进车里
Run away,
quickly let's leap into our cars.
然后我急忙赶到山下看看水有没有到达水槽
And then I rushed downhill to see
if the water was getting to the troughs.
是的我们现在在和重力比速度
Right, we are now in a race with gravity.
应该有人拍一档电视节目让汽车和不寻常的东西比赛
Someone should do a TV show
where cars race unusual things.
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, it works.
成功了
然后我回去向伙计们报告这个好消息
I then went back to report
the good news to the chaps.
看来重力是有效的
So, gravity works... basically.
-是啊
-我们知道重力有效…
-[both] Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-We know gravity works...
你的管道也是好的
And your pipe's good as well.
管道是好的
And the pipes are good.
底下机器在运转重力有效
So the underground machine
is working, and gravity is working.
-是的
-现在主要问题在于…
-Yeah.
-The main problem I can see now is grades,
很好但水槽车不是长久的解决方案
but this not a permanent solution.
我们得想其他办法填满水箱
So someone, we've got to fill that tank up
而不是用货车后面的水槽抽水
without using a bowser
on the back of a trolley van.
是
[Les] Yeah.
遗憾的是这项工作要中断一下
[Jeremy]
Sadly, that job would have to wait.
因为到了让母羊生崽的时候了
Because it was time
for the girl sheep to make some babies.
送公羊的人来了
And the man with the boy sheep
had arrived.
那是…是公羊
That is... Whoa, there's the rams.
公羊
The rams.
你们好小子们怎么样？
[Porksman] Hello, boys, how are you doing?
他的工作是让母羊怀孕他却叫朱斯曼
His job is to impregnate sheep
and he's called Porksman.
[laughing]
就这样好了
That's it. That will do.
它们是纯种萨福克斯羊
These are pedigree Suffolks.
它们是有暴♥力♥倾向的公羊吗？
[Jeremy] Are they violent attack rams?
不不是它们很安静
[Porksman] No, they're not.
They are as quiet as mice.
来吧小子们出来别害羞
Come on, boys, out you come, don't be shy.
天啊我刚看到后面
Jeez, I've just seen the back bit.
喜欢吗？
[Porksman] Do you like them?
像摆锤一样是不是？
[Jeremy] Ooh, they are pendulous,
aren't they?
是的这是它们的第一个繁殖季节
[Porksman] Yes. This is gonna be
their first breeding season.
-所以它们是处子身
-它们是处子身
-So they... they're virgins.
-They are virgins.
是吗？因为真的…
[Jeremy] Are they?
'Cause, really, to be...
我不想说得太粗俗
I don't want to be lavatorial
但公羊就是阴囊运输机
but rams are just STDs,
scrotal transportation devices.
真的我买♥♥的就是两个阴囊
Really, what I've bought are two scrotums.
是的这就是生育机器对吗？
Yeah, they...
it's a fertility machine, isn't it?
-没错
-每一只每天可以产出
-[Jeremy] Yeah, exactly.
-Every one of these is gonna produce
-上千个精♥子♥
-是的
-absolutely thousands of sperms a day.
-[Jeremy] Yeah.
它们每天可以愉快地和三到四只羊交♥配♥
They would mate
three or four a day very happily.
朱斯曼先生之后建议我试一下刚买♥♥到手的货物的火力
[Jeremy] Mr. Porksman then suggested
I test the fire power of my new purchases.
我必须探到下面去绕一圈
I'm gonna have to get under there
and to get round.
是的要量一下周长吗？
Yeah. Do you want...
do you want to measure its circumference?
我没想到早上要干这事儿
Exactly. Okay, this is not something
I thought I'd be doing this morning.
是啊
Yes, I know. Yes, I know.
好了要围住阴囊顶部
Okay. Gotta hold
the scrotal sac at the top.
外观是否良好？活动是否自如？
[Porksman] Yes, is it nice and free?
Is it moving nice?
-睾丸是否能自如活动？
-我不确定
-Are the testes nice and free in the sac?
-I'm not sure.
我没有对比对象
I've got nothing to compare it to.
我从没摸过这个大小的东西
I've never really fondled
anything this size before.
好了阴囊周长38厘米
Okay, that is 38-centimeter scrotal sac.
上面说…
-[Porksman] 35 is...
-It says between...
多数公羊在30至40厘米之间
Most rams measure
between 30 and 40 centimeters.
-38挺好的是不是？
-38很好优秀水平
-So 38 is good, isn't it?
-38 is good. Top end.
好了我们要量你了伙计抱歉
Right, we're going to measure you,
mate, I'm sorry.
我就知道公立学校教育会派上用场
I knew public school education
would come in handy.
好了这是…我们有…
Okay, now this is... we've got...
-好听着…
-这个是多少厘米？
-[whispers] Okay, listen...
-How many centimeters is this?
我不想让它们中的一只尴尬
[whispering] I don't wanna
embarrass one of them.
-好吧更大吗？
-这只要长一厘米
-Okay. Bigger?
-So this one's a centimeter bigger.
长一厘米哦你不想告诉它
-A centimeter bigger.
-Shh.
Oh, you don't wanna tell him.
如果有人量了我们然后说
Well, come on, if we got measured
and then somebody went,
“你的更大” 你会尴尬死的
"You've got the bigger pair,"
you'd be mortified.