克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E05

Part 3 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:19 p.m.

你等著吧
等夏天来了，牠们到处跑来跑去
他就会咒骂：“他妈的绵羊”
Come summer, and they're all
getting out
and running around the place,
he's gonna go,
"Fucking sheep."
幸好，在羊棚这裡
[Jeremy] Happily,
back at the barn,
艾伦及时赶到现场来处理
Ellen had arrived in time
to sort things out.
所以，我摸到了…
So, we have got...
头，但没摸到脚
...a head and no feet.
这就是问题根源吗？
[Jeremy] Ugh, is that
the problem?
一隻脚在那裡
[Ellen] There is a foot there.
你看见那隻脚了吗？
Can you see that foot?
Yeah.
两条腿出来了？
[Jeremy] What have we got there,
two legs?
两条腿和鼻子
[Ellen] Two legs and a nose.
妳要把牠拉出来吗？
[Jeremy] Are you just gonna
pull it out?
牠现在可以自己来的
[Ellen] So, she'll do it
on her own now.
来了
There you go.
你看到这个液体是深黄色？
So can you see
this fluid's quite dark yellow?
是啊
[Jeremy] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
这代表小羊有点窘迫
[Ellen] That means that
the lamb's been
a bit stressed.
为什麽？
-[Jeremy] Why?
-[Ellen] Probably 'cause
可能是因为
生出来的时间长了一点
it was just taking
a bit longer to come out.
–一切都没事吧？
–是啊，没事
-[Jeremy] Is it all right?
-[Ellen] Yeah. It's fine.
–最后一隻是…
–牠们卡住了？
So that last one
was probably...
-[Jeremy] They were jammed up?
-[Ellen] Yeah.
就像公路上两辆车要挤进一个单行道
[Jeremy] It's like that bit
on the A40,
where the two cars
have to go into one.
是啊
[Ellen] Yeah.
♪♪
接下来的几天
[Jeremy] Over the next
couple of days,
母羊和小羊的羊棚
慢慢开始拥挤起来了
the ewe and lamb pen
slowly started to fill up.
好，牠出来了
[Jeremy]
Okay, out she comes.
做得好
Well done.
看，稻草好漂亮
Look, nice straw.
♪♪
艾伦把所有需要做的事都教我了
[Jeremy] And Ellen
schooled me well
in all the jobs
that needed doing.
我们要像这样子沾一下
So we just dip that in there,
like that.
这样对吗？
Is that good?
全部都沾到碘就行
[Ellen] As long as it's
covered in iodine.
诚然，有些工作没有很顺利
[Jeremy] Admittedly,
some jobs
didn't go brilliantly.
没有
No.
我想我的手伸进肛♥门♥了
I think I've gone in its anus.
还有其他的部分让我哑口无言
[Jeremy] And others
left me speechless.
我在帮羊穿环
[Ellen] So I'm ringing them,
这要放到牠们的尾巴上
so putting a ring
on their tail
等牠们年纪大一点，天气变热时
so that when they're a bit older
and it gets hotter,
苍蝇就不会
一直在牠们的屁♥股♥上飞来飞去
they're not gonna get flies
around their bum.
所以要剪牠们的尾巴？
Okay, so docking their tails?
是啊，然后帮公羊去势
Yeah, and then castrate
the males.
–妳说什麽？
–帮公羊阉♥割♥
Sorry?
Castrating the males.
最上面的部分
The top lambs.
要阉♥割♥
Castrating 'em.
切掉牠们的睾丸？
What, you're cutting
their balls off?
不用切掉，会用橡皮筋束起来
Not cutting 'em off,
but we'll ring 'em.
那会有什麽结果？
[Jeremy] What does that do?
切断血液供应，睾丸就会脱落
So, that'll cut
the blood supply off
and that'll make them fall off.
牠们的睾丸会脱落下来？
[Jeremy] Their bollocks
are going to fall off?
–是啊
–为什麽？
-[Ellen] Yeah.
-[Jeremy] Why?
阻止牠们长大后和姊妹交♥配♥
[Ellen] It'll stop them
breeding with their sisters
when they're older.
不，我不会这样做，妳在…
[Jeremy] No,
I'm not doing this.
看看牠，牠不喜欢那样
Look at him,
he doesn't like that.
牠不会痛太久
[Ellen] So, it won't hurt him
for long.
–什麽？
–感觉会麻木
-[Jeremy] What?
-It'll make it numb.
会痛很久的
It does hurt for long.
多久才会脱落？
How long will it be
before they fall off?
几天
A couple of days.
牠们…
They're...
[sheep bleating]
老兄，我一点也不惊讶
I'm not surprised, mate.
Oh.
我是说，牠才刚出生
I mean, he's just been born.
“我是个男人，我有我需要的一切”
"I'm a man, I've got
everything I need."
“糟了，她用橡皮筋
把睾丸束起来了”
Oh, no, she's put
a rubber band round them.
想回到妈妈身边吗？
[Ellen] You wanna go back
to Mum?
我无法砍掉动物的睾丸
I couldn't chop a creature's
bollocks off.
难道不能隔离公羊跟母羊？
Couldn't you just segregate
the men and women sheep?
是可以，但牠们会搞在一起的
You can, but they will have
fun times with each other.
–公羊啊？
–是啊
-What, the men sheeps?
-Yeah.
–公羊跟公羊搞？
–是的
-The-- Mount one another?
-Yeah.
–牠们会吗？
–是啊
-Do they?
-Yeah.
那麽李奥纳多和韦恩在草原裡
So, you know Leo and Wayne then,
now they're in the field,
我们不看的时候
牠们会不会就乱来一下？
will they be having
a go on each other
when we're not looking?
不是每天这样，但偶尔会
[Ellen]
They won't all the time,
but every now and again,
they might.
但看到母羊时
牠们还是会知道怎麽做
But they still know what to do
when it comes to the girls.
那母羊也会这样吗？
Are the ladies...
Do they do it, as well?
不怎麽会
Not as much. No.
不会
所以很少有女同性恋的行为？
[Jeremy] So there's very few
lesbian action then?
是啊
[Ellen] Yeah.
跟网路上不一样
So it's not like the Internet.
♪♪
渴望逃离牧羊女小波的施虐室
[Jeremy]
Eager to escape from
Little Bo-Peep's
torture chamber,
所以我去田野启动滚轧机
I went out into the fields
and fired up
something called the roller.
在我所有配备中