克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E03

Part 5 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:18 p.m.

food poisoning." Blah-blah. "Pneumonia."
泉水一号♥没有大肠杆菌
So, I've got, in spring one, no E. coli.
泉水二号♥没有大肠杆菌
And no E. coli in spring two.
好我从这里得到的主要信息是
Right, the essence
of what I've got here is the springs,
我想装瓶的一号♥和二号♥泉水是好的
the springs one and two,
which I want to bottle, are good.
然而也有一些让人不安的消息
However, there was also
some rather disturbing news.
等一下
Wait a minute.
“样本大肠杆菌呈阳性
"A positive coliform sample
“应视为水源中有粪便的迹象”
should be considered an indication
of feces in your source."
给我住的房♥子供水的池塘
The pond that feeds the house where I live
实际上充满了大量这种东西…
is riddled with literally everything
in such vast quantities that...
这也解释了我狗屎一般倒霉的遭遇
Well, it explains
why I am so full of shit.
因为这几年我一直在喝这种东西
'Cause that's what I've been living on
these last few years.
简直是粪便洪流
It's just a torrent of turds.
我现在担心自己已经活不到
Worried now
that I wouldn't live long enough
农用商店开张的时候了
to actually open the farm shop,
我来到了我家的水源过滤室
I went to the water filtration room
at my house.
哦等等哦好多泥
Oh, hang on. Oh, it's quite muddy.
哦我的天那是…
Oh, my God, that's...
我给你看看它本来的样子等等
I'll show you what
it's supposed to look like. Hang on.
对
Right,
它本来是这样…三个月前
that's what it looked like...
three months ago.
现在成这样了
And that's what it looks like now.
我一直在喝这个
I've been drinking this.
我一直在喝腐烂的动物和粪便
I've been drinking
rotting animals and feces.
幸运的是丽莎今天在伦敦我不会告诉她…
Luckily, Lisa is in London today.
I won't tell her that...
我不会告诉她有过这种事
I won't tell her that this has happened.
这样最好我会说没有一切正常
That seems to be the best thing.
I'll just say no, everything's fine.
还有更多坏消息
There was more bad news,
因为尽管已经储存起来…
because even though
they were in storage...
我的土豆的时间也不多了
time was starting to run out
for my potatoes.
如果我们挖一挖可以看到里面有很多烂掉的土豆
[Charlie] If we dig around,
there's quite a lot of rotten ones in here
需要捡出来
that, uh, we need to sort.
是的这些…
Yeah, we've got these ones which...
很遗憾它们已经变湿软了像流脓一样烂掉了
sorry for those that are squeamish,
sort of have gone all pussy and horrible.
我需要马上开始卖♥♥土豆
[Jeremy] I needed
to start selling them immediately.
但农用商店还远没有建好
But the farm shop was nowhere near ready.
在这绝望的日子里我想到一个绝望的措施
So, in these desperate times,
I came up with a desperate measure.
诚信箱每个土豆15便士 6个0.8英镑
土豆箱！每个土豆15便士
早
Morning.
15便士可以买♥♥一个这个或者这个
It's 15p, then, for one of those,
or 15p for that.
这是我的计划不尽人意的地方
That's the only drawback to my plan.
土豆在这边袋子在这边
So, potatoes are there, bags are there.
很好
Good.
钱放在抽屉里！
结果证明诚信箱吸引了诚信的人
As it turned out, the honesty box
attracted people who were honest.
基本上是这样
Mostly.
有人留下了瓶盖
Somebody has left me this bottle top.
因为他们是…
Because they are [bleep].
但有些人真的留下了钱
But some people have left actual money.
所以我挣到了…
So, I have earned...
2、3、4 5.35英镑
two, three, four, Â£5.35.
这是什么？烤土豆吗？
What are they? Jacket ones?
看
Look, look, look, look.
有大有小
So, you've got big ones, or smaller ones.
-我要大的我回去自己烤
-你要几个？
-I'll take the big ones. I'll jacket them.
-How many do you want?
-七个
-七个？
-Seven.
-Seven?
很好看啊
Brilliant. Look at this.
哦我好有钱
Oh, I'm just so rich.
然而 16吨♥土豆不可能指望
However, I wasn't going to shift
16 tons of potatoes
用文件柜卖♥♥完
from a filing cabinet.
我最需要的还是建成商店
What I really needed was a finished shop.
而这一边…
And on that front...
有好消息因为商店终于开始成形了
there was good news because, finally,
it was starting to take shape.
-看这是今天早上的成果
-今天早上的成果？
[Alan] Look, that's this morning.
昨天我还在雨里看着另一边
[Jeremy] Is that this morning?
Yeah, I looked round the other side
yesterday in the rain.
看看我们昨天的成果
Come and have a look
what we done yesterday.
-哦阿兰带来了好天气
-是啊
-Oh, fair weather Alan here.
-Yeah.
[both laugh]
挺好的吧？那边的矮墙
That's all right, innit?
Those jumpers and that.
-我喜欢矮墙
-挺好的
-Good. I like the jumpers.
-[Alan] Yeah, they're good.
挺不错的矮墙有好几段
Nice big jumper.
We got a nice few of those.
看起来很像那边的小屋
It just makes it look
more like that barn down there.
-没错
-是的
-[Jeremy] That's exactly right.
-[Alan] Yeah.
我要去照顾绵羊了真的
Now, I've got to go do the sheep.
I really have.
而且我觉得我在拖慢你的进度我可不想这样
And I do think I'm slowing you down,
which I don't want to do.
-带点土豆回来
-我会的
-Bring a few taters back.
-I will. I'll bring you some potatoes.
-我会给你装一点
-我会给你带土豆的
-I'll put a few in for you.
-I'll bring you some potatoes.
好的
[laughs] Please do.
我正要离开阿兰突然想起
[Jeremy] As I was leaving,
Alan suddenly remembered
他还需要一些东西
something else he needed.
你走之前还有一件事
[Alan] One thing before you go,
我们要从房♥车营地接水电
we've gotta get water and electric
from the caravan site.
要去找他们谈谈
So we need to talk to them.
那里归露营和房♥车俱乐部所有
It's owned by
the Camping and Caravan Club, though.
-是吗？
-我和他们关系很好
-Is it? Right.
-I get on really well with them,
因为我给房♥车说了很多好话
'cause I've always been
incredibly nice about caravans.
-那很好
-我一直都对它赞赏有加
-Yeah, brilliant.
-I have always said really kind things.
我看到他们车里有炸♥药♥棒
I've seen them with the sticks of dynamite
in them and things.
嘿我们得搞定他们是不是？
Hey, yeah, we need
to get hold of them, really, don't we?
我来处理
I'll get on with that.
结果露营和房♥车俱乐部
[Jeremy] As it turned out,
the Camping and Caravan Club
很乐意为我提供水电
were happy to supply me
with their power and water,
只要我能给他们一些回报所以…
so long as I gave them
something in return. So...
你好我是杰雷米克拉克森
Hi, I'm Jeremy Clarkson
就像我一直说的房♥车假期最棒了
and, as I've always said,
you can't beat a caravan holiday.
这样的营地为露营和房♥车俱乐部成员
A site like this offers
Camping and Caravan Club members
提供很好的露天场地每年只需41英镑
access to the great outdoors
for as little as Â£41 a year.
我觉得天要晴了
I think it's brightening up.
这里很适合露天用餐
And it's a great place