克拉克森的农场（2021）

Clarkson's Farm S01E03

Part 7 Oct. 18, 2021, 1:18 p.m.

That looks fantastic.
It's a lot bigger with the roof on.
Leaving Lisa to paint the walls,
我去帮卡勒布竖起我们的广♥告♥牌
I went off to help Kaleb
erect our advertising signs.
周六会有多少人来？
[Kaleb] How many people
are coming on Saturday?
这是个好问题
[Jeremy] Well, now,
that's a good question.
你在《奇平诺顿新闻》登报了吗？
[Kaleb] Have you put it
in the Chipping Norton News?
-没有因为我突然想到…
-社交媒体
-No, because it suddenly occurred to me...
-[Kaleb] Social media.
社交媒体推特我有710万…
Social media.
Twitter, I've got 7.1 million...
-老天啊
-…关注者
-[Kaleb] Fucking hell.
-[Jeremy] ...followers.
你在推特上都做什么？我不用推特
What do you do on Twitter?
I don't use Twitter.
没什么推特现在就是个
Nothing.
Twitter now is just an opportunity
让左翼人士有机会表达自己日益偏左的观点
for very left-wing people to express
increasingly left-wing views
给其他左翼人士看的平台
to other left-wing people.
所以我不确定农用商店…
So, I'm not sure it's a farm shop...
-嘿但上面都是素食主义者对吧？
-对是的
-Hey, but it's all vegetarian, isn't it?
-Yeah. No, it is.
你看这就是推特的用途
Yes, you see, that's a Twitter handle.
-所有东西都要素食主义
-这就是推特的用途
-Everything is going vegan.
-That's a Twitter handle.
天啊他们会带着狐臭
Oh, Christ, we'll have them
with their smelly armpits
排上好几公里的队
queuing up for a mile if we say that.
我发完推特之后
After I'd finished tweeting,
卡勒布想到了一个很有他的风格的建议
Kaleb came up with a Kaleb-type suggestion
是关于如何处理没卖♥♥出去的土豆的
about what we could do
with any unsold potatoes.
可以拿来和别人玩土豆大战
There's a thing... You actually can go
and have a potato fight with people.
去大醉一场互相丢土豆
Get there, you get drunk,
and you chuck potatoes at each other.
[laughing]
什么？你去一个派对然后呢？
Like, what? You go to a party,
and then how does it work?
首先互相问候：“你好吗？”
Start off all,
"How are you doing? You all right?"
然后到了10点就开始
And then, about, I don't know,
ten o'clock comes. That's it.
互相扔土豆
You're just chucking potatoes
at each other.
这里还有谁是土豆投手？
Who are these other
potato flingers around here?
我不能说他们的名字
I can't name them all
不然他们会说：“他刚点了我的名”
'cause they'll be like,
"Yeah, he's just named me."
大家就会朝他们扔土豆以为他们喜欢那样
And everyone will be chucking potatoes
at them, like they like it.
[laughing]
你的人生和我的人生简直完全不同
Your life and my life
are incredibly different.
农用商店-盛大开业
本周六
广♥告♥牌竖起来之后我们回到农用商店…
With the signs up,
we went back to the farm shop...
帮忙摆放移♥动♥厕所
to help erect the portaloo.
很美吧是不是？
All right, it's a thing of great beauty,
isn't it?
我们把它放下了
So, we just plonk that up.
如何让它不被风吹倒？
How does it not blow over in the wind?
可能最好要放点重物压住
Oh, it's probably best to put some
sandbags or something to weigh it down.
谢谢伙计
Cheers, mate.
放好移♥动♥厕所后我去看了米开欧朗基罗的进度
With the portaloo in place,
I went to check on Michael O'Angelo.
-杰雷米？
-怎么了？
-[Lisa] So, Jeremy?
-[Jeremy] Yeah?
我问了我妈给她发了我♥干♥活的视频
I spoke to Mum,
and I sent her a video of what I'm doing.
她给我发了一条信息
And she sent me a Whatsapp back.
“哦我的天马上停手
"Oh, my goodness. Stop right now.
“你的煤渣砌块在涂刷前需要预处理上网查一下”
You need to prepare the breeze blocks
before you paint them. Google it."
我上网查了
So, I googled it
要先混合水泥和水涂上去
and you have to do
a mixture of cement and water,
再刷漆
and then paint that on.
是的可如果我们就要这个效果呢？
Yeah, but if we just say
we wanted this effect.
我们没时间了商店还有…
We haven't got time to do that.
The shop is opening in...
-反正也太迟了
-…24小时10分钟就开张了
-[Lisa] I know. It's too late anyway.
-...24 hours and ten minutes.
我让丽莎继续处理
Leaving Lisa to it,
自己去收要卖♥♥的蛋
I went to collect the eggs
we'd be selling.
一个、两个
One, two.
不肯定没有
No, absolutely none.
一个
One.
最后的机会 59只鸡…
Last chance. 59 chickens...
一个你们在干什么？
One. What are you doing?
11颗蛋
That is 11 eggs.
野餐是够了开店可不够
That is enough for a picnic, not a shop.
教育了母鸡之后我开车回到农用商店…
Having harangued the hens,
I drove back to the farm shop...
赶上了开心的查理的来访
and arrived just in time
for a visit from cheerful Charlie.
我走过来就在想你还能找个风更大的位置吗？
I was just thinking as I walked across,
could you have built it in a windier spot?
是我知道但我们隔壁就是现成的客人
Yes, I know.
But we're next to ready-made customers.
是啊
[Charlie] Absolutely.
然后查理告诉我
[Jeremy] Charlie then informed me
我之前杀的羊产出的羊肉不能卖♥♥
that I wouldn't be selling any mutton
from the sheep I'd slaughtered earlier.
我不能卖♥♥肉？
I can't sell the meat?
不能要等食品卫♥生♥部♥门批准
No, not until you've got the sign-off
from Food Hygiene.
所以冷冻的…
So, that frozen...
冷冻肉不能卖♥♥ 要等我们拿到…
That frozen stuff will have to stay unsold
until we've got...
我想她下周会来
She is coming round next week, I think.
是那个周四周五♥不♥能来的人？
Is that the one that can't come
on Thursdays and Fridays?
本地理事会不能派人来是的
The local council
cannot send somebody out, yes.
为什么？
Why not?
因为她只有周一到周三上班
[Charlie] What, because she only works
Monday to Wednesday.
这是1974年吗？我是睡着后穿越到70年代了吗？
Is it 1974? Have I been asleep
and woken up in the '70s?
拜托
Come on.
进店后查理继续用官僚炸♥弹♥轰炸我
Inside, Charlie's bureaucratic bombs
kept on falling.
在丽莎的构想中这里有一个温馨的咖啡区域
In Lisa's mind,
there is a lovely coffee area out here.
-人们可以坐下喝咖啡
-这是规划变更
-People can sit and have a cup of coffee.
-Variation of planning.
建一个火坑我需要许可吗？
Building a fire pit. Do I need
a council planning permission for that?
不但我们可能需要风险评估
No, but we might need a risk assessment.
我可以在外面放个牌子吗？“别走到火里去”
Can I put a note up outside?
"Don't walk in the fire."
“别躺在火堆里”
-Just for public liability.
-"Don't lie down in the fire."
这可以 “不要碰火”
That's good. "Don't touch the fire."
我这就是在说：“你好顾客我觉得你是个弱智”
So, what I'm saying is, "Hello customer,
I think you're a halfwit."
谢天谢地我终于逃脱了
Mercifully, I eventually escaped
各种规章制度完成了商店的布置
from the red tape and got on
with the business of finishing the shop.
看这可以的
See, that's going to work.
[drill whirrs]
我们还有好多事要做
We've got so much to do.
去他妈的
Fucking hell.
[drill whirrs]
第二天天气不是这样
The next day,
the weather was not like this.
阴冷昏暗
It was cold and bleak,
还有问题要处理
and there were still issues