马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S05E12

Part 2 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:12 a.m.

看起来一切都在你掌控之中
Well, it seems like you've got everything under control.
我很抱歉节目的事变得这么乱
I'm sorry things got so messy with the show.
我应该更关照你一点的我经常没能做到
I didn't always look out for you as much as I should have.
我能照顾我好自己我知道你已经很忙了
I can take care of myself. I know you've got a lot on your plate.
只是那领养的流程实在是太疯狂了
It's just been so crazy, this adoption process,
但我想一旦我有了一个孩子
but I think once I get a baby,
我的生活就不会这么乱了对吧
my life will be less hectic, you know?
当然
Oh, sure.
这肯定就是那些新妈妈
That is why new mothers
总是看起来又镇定又精神的原因
always seem so chilled-out and well-rested.
好了兄弟
Okay, buddy.
你不如把这些玩笑留到采访上再说
Why don't you save your funny jokes for the interview?
但请不要在采访上开玩笑
But please don't make jokes at the interview.
抱歉我把你的每件家具都弄坏了
Sorry I broke every piece of furniture you own.
-20美元够吗 -别担心这个但够了
- Will 20 dollars cover it? - Don't worry about it. But, yes.
-所以现在是怎样 -我不知道
- So, what happens now? - I don't know.
-我得告诉小腌瓜 -是的
- I have to tell Pickles. - Yeah.
-我会告诉她我们聊了一下 -好
- I'll tell her you and I had a talk. - Okay.
-然后我们复合了 -等下什么
- And we're getting back together. - Wait, what?
-但她是个好女孩 -不不
- But she's a great girl. - No, no.
但她确实是个好女孩你只是不了解她
But she is a great girl. You just don't know her.
不花生酱先生
No, Mr. Peanutbutter.
我不想和你复合
I don't want to get back together with you.
-什么 -你误会了
- What? - I think you misunderstood.
那我们为什么一直在做这个
Then why do you keep doing this?
你为什么一直要这样
Why do you keep doing this?
-因为我爱你 -别说这个
- Because I love you! - Don't say that.
真的我从未停止过爱你
It's true. I never stopped loving you.
不我们以后再也不能这样做了
No. We can't do this ever again.
对不起
I'm sorry.
看吧我说过了你很擅长给出坏消息
See? I told you you were great at giving bad news.
这不是我想听到的
That is not what I wanted to hear.
滑鸡兄弟
波杰克这是饼干饼干这是波杰克
BoJack, Biscuits. Biscuits, BoJack.
加利福尼亚的特色葡萄红酒原料
这场采访会流畅得像1995年的仙粉黛
This interview's gonna go down smooth, like a 1995 Zinfandel.
你从没试过95年的仙粉黛仙粉黛的黄金年份
You ever try one of those '95 zins? Good year for Zinfandels.
1995年俄克拉荷马联邦大楼发生爆♥炸♥事件损伤惨重
俄克拉荷马联邦大楼的悲催时刻
Bad year for Oklahoma federal buildings.
-好吧 -接下来事情会这样发展
- M'kay. - Here's how it's gonna go down.
摄像机的红灯发出噗噜一声
Red light on the camera goes bloop!
我说嗨你说嗨我说摄像机
I go, "Hey!" You go, "Hey!" I go, "Video?"
你说没呢我说真的吗
You go, "Nah!" I go, "Really?"
你说嗯... 然后向我丢出大段废话
You go, "Well..." And you roll me through the rigamarole.
-对了别 -别忘了宣传你的节目
- Oh, don't-- - Don't forget to plug your show.
然后我说这还真是发人深省
Then I go, "Wow. This has been so illuminating.
非常感谢
Thank you so much."
红灯发出噗嘚嘚噗
Red light goes boo-de-de-boop,
我们就会在《毒品网络》之前离开这儿了
we'll be out of here before Traffic.
对我说的是史蒂文·索德伯格的《毒品网络》
And, yes, I'm talking about the Stephen Soderbergh movie Traffic.
今晚在FX电视台上映我希望能赶上
It's playing on FX tonight, and I'm hoping to catch it.
影片中饰演美国缉毒局警♥察♥戈登的演员
爱我吧钱德尔
Love me some Cheadle.
是我疯了还是她真的有点挑逗我
Am I crazy or was she kind of hitting on me?
对你们俩简直激♥情♥四射
Yeah. You guys have a real flirty energy,
因性骚扰被开除的美国著名电视节目主持
就像马特·劳尔和他在他家厨房♥里采访的
like Matt Lauer and those magazine cut-outs
这些杂♥志♥剪辑
he now interviews in his kitchen.
-那应该会很有趣 -这种态度就对了
- This should be fun. - Now that's the spirit!
你得把那段录像给我看下
You gotta show me this video.
不我觉得没这必要
No, I really don't think that's necessary.
如果我不知道我要讲什么我会看起来很傻
I'll look like an idiot if I don't know what I'm talking about.
就让我看看吧能有多坏呢
Just let me see it. How bad could it be?
真的坏透了但不讲真我能看吗
"Ooh, it's really bad!" But, no, seriously, can I see it?
看啊我开始了
Hey, wow, look at me go.
小心我开始变得有点
Oh, look out, I'm getting really, um...
这看起来
Well, this looks like...
是
Yeah.
因为我确实
Because I'm actually...
是
Yeah.
戴安你最近在忙什么跟我说说
Diane! What have you been up to? Tell me everything.
事实上我正在忙一本文集
Actually, I've been working on a book of essays--
好了很显然我是为了礼貌才这么问
Okay, I was obviously asking to be polite,
你要是真以为我在乎就太没礼貌了
and it's very rude of you to assume that I care.
我有一些真正有趣的消息
I have news that's actually interesting.
女生最赞网要转向视频我想让你做那张脸
Girl Croosh is pivoting to video, and I want you to be the face.
-那张脸 -网页上的那张脸
- The face? - Of the site.
每个40岁以下的女人都会收看听你说话
Every woman under 40 will tune in to hear what you have to say.
也许也有40岁以上的女人我们没法知道了
And possibly women over 40, but we have no way of knowing
因为我们的网站的指标不管她们
because they're invisible to our site metrics.
斯蒂芬妮不了
Stefani... no.
我不懂我父母从小到大从没对我说过不
I don't understand. My parents never said no to me growing up,
所以我是从字面上不能理解这个概念
so I'm literally incapable of processing it as a concept.
我是个伪君子我很可悲还让别人可悲
I'm a hypocrite. I'm miserable and I make other people miserable.
我不知道我在做什么
I don't know what I'm doing.
我不能做让人信任的信息源
I can't be a trusted news source,
或是什么权威或是任何人的榜样
or an authority, or a role model for anybody.
没人叫你"榜样" 冷静点
Uh, no one called you a "Role model." Settle down.
你知道你的问题在哪儿吗
You know what your problem is?
你用一个不可能的标准去衡量每个人
You hold everyone to an impossible standard,
包括你自己
including yourself.
这对写点热度排行榜
It's super helpful for writing hot-take shakedowns,
和骗点击的评论会很有帮助
and clickbait take-downs,
但对你的私人生活
but totally toxic for your personal life
和自我价值的内在感受完全是个祸害
and internalized sense of self-worth, girl.
但是我们不该对我们自己
But shouldn't we be asking more of ourselves
和生命中遇到的人有所要求吗
and of the people in our lives?
当然了但我们都会失望戴安
Of course. But we all fail, Diane.
这世界已经够苛刻的了
The world is unforgiving enough as it is.
至少我们能
The least we could do is
想办法原谅自己和彼此
find ways to forgive each other and ourselves.
那也许我们发表的文章也应该宽容一点
Well, then maybe we should be more forgiving in our content,
不要发那么多抨击文
and maybe not publish so many take-downs?
戴安
Oh, Diane.
好了开始吧
All right, let's bring in the talent.
能趁现在跟你聊聊吗
Hey, is this a good time to talk?
不行斯图尔特现在不是时候
No, Stuart. This is a very bad time.
我们马上要录制采访了
We're about to shoot the interview.
抱歉我没记住你的日程
Oh, sorry, I haven't memorized your schedule.
-你可以写下来 -用什么羽毛笔吗
- You could write it down. - With what, a quill?
-好吧埃尔布里奇·格里 -什么
- Okay, Elbridge Gerry. - What?
这位女士到你的办公室找你
Anyway, this lady showed up at the office
她很烦我就把她带到这里了
and she was being super annoying, so I brought her here.
-什么女士 -你好
- What lady? - Hey.
你为什么不接电♥话♥
Why aren't you answering your phone?
你为什么不去北卡罗莱纳
Why aren't you in North Carolina?
我们现在出现了点公♥关♥危机
We're having a bit of a PR crisis.
等我这边解决了我就坐第一班飞机过去
As soon as this is settled I will take the first plane there,
但现在真不是合适的时机
but this is just not the best time.
听着如果你做不到就不要领养
Look, if you can't do this, don't do it.
我妈妈一直在工作永远不会抽时间陪我
My mom worked all the time and she never made time for me.
我成长的过程中都很孤独
I felt so alone growing up,
特别是因为我从来不认识我爸爸和我孪生哥哥
especially because I never knew my dad or my twin brother
因为我们的父母在我们很小时就分开了
because our parents broke up when we were babies,
老死不相往来
and wouldn't even talk to each other.
特蕾西我不知道是这样
Oh, Tracy, I had no idea.
我这一辈子
My whole life,
只有这块雕刻着
all I had was this half of a medallion
半个家徽的奖章
with part of a family crest on it.
我从来不知道全貌的家徽
The crest of a family I'll never know.
-无聊 -你说森么
- Boring. - Ex-squeeze me?
抱歉但你的故事太老套了
Sorry, but your story sucks.
谁不是从小跟自己的家人分开