马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S05E01

Part 4 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:10 a.m.

-我不拍裸♥露♥镜头 -什么
- I'm not doing the naked scene. - What?
你之所以这样写就是为了让我丢脸
The only reason you wrote it is to embarrass me.
波杰克我为这部剧写剧本和拍镜头
BoJack, I'm not writing scenes for my television show
并不是为了教你什么道理
and also directing them in order to teach you lessons
或者传达什么信息
or send you secret messages.
我只是想拍一部好剧
I'm just trying to make a good show.
你为什么要一直难为我
Why do you keep making it so difficult?
是我在难为你吗
I'm making it difficult?
一直以来我都把你当朋友
I have done nothing, but be a friend to you.
我昨天晚上还给我妈打电♥话♥
I actually called my mom last night
说我在剧组交到了一个朋友
and told her that I made a friend on set.
你希望我在我妈面前食言吗
Do you wanna make me a liar to my mother?
-什么好奇怪 -赶紧脱掉浴袍去片场
- What? Ew. Weird. - Take off that robe and go to set.
-不 -立刻脱掉浴袍
- No. - Take off that robe right now.
你就不能专业点直接脱♥光♥吗
Why can't you act like a professional and get naked?
因为很蠢这整部剧都很蠢蠢蠢蠢
Because it's dumb! This whole show is duuuuuuumb!
什么
What?
令人费解夸大其词灯光垃圾
It's confusing, it's overwritten, and it's poorly lit.
场景的黑暗是在暗喻剧情的黑暗
The darkness is a metaphor for darkness!
最糟糕的是太无聊了
And worst of all, it's boring!
完全没有主题而且这一点也表现得很糟糕
It has nothing to say, and it says that nothing badly!
我直接告诉你吧
Let me tell you how this is going to be.
这部剧是我主创
I am the show creator
如果我要你的角色脱♥光♥ 他就得脱♥光♥
and if I want your character to get naked, he gets naked.
如果我要他只说韩语你就得学韩语
If I want him to speak only in Korean, you're learning Korean.
如果我要你的角色拉在裤子里
If I want your character to shit his pants
而且接下来的剧集里
and walk around with shit
都要带着屎走来走去
in his pants for the rest of the season,
你也要一一照做
you will do just that.
-别闹了 -你签了合同
- Oh, come on. - You signed a contract.
这就意味着我是上帝
And that means I am your god.
你必须取悦你的上帝
You will please your god,
如果你现在不去片场
and if I don't see your ass on set
那就准备去法庭吧
then I will see your ass in court.
听明白了吗
Do you understand?
照明这一点你说的有道理我调整一下
That's a good note about the lighting. I'll take a look at that.
专业收养机构
好消息我们找到了一名母亲
Good news! We found a birth mother!
真的吗这么快
Really? A-already?
她昨天报名的
She came in yesterday.
她打算把孩子给伊利诺斯州的一对夫妇
She's giving her baby to a sweet couple in Illinois.
什么
What?
难道你觉得那位母亲是帮你找的吗
Did you think we found a birth mother for you?
会不会太自恋
Conceited much?
特蕾西我来这里花了很多钱
Tracy, I’m spending a lot of money to be here with you
而且我的心理状态也比较脆弱
and I'm putting myself in a very vulnerable position.
你对待我这个客户
Is there any way you can be a little more thoughtful
能不能稍微体贴一点
with the way you manage me as a client?
看来你是想找一位收养经纪人
It sounds like what you're looking for is an adoption manager.
这里是收养机构
This is an adoption agency.
你难道不知道区别吗
Do you not know the difference?
什么
What?
卡洛琳公主我做得过分了
Princess Carolyn, I overplayed my hand.
我跟波杰克吵了一架
BoJack and I got into a fight.
-他没来片场 -什么
- And he never showed up on set. - What?
什么
What?
卡洛琳公主主主我有事要跟你说说说
Princess Carolyyyyyyyn, I need to talk to youuuuuu.
-波杰克 -等等我的椅子卡住了
- BoJack. - Hold on, I got a thing with a chair.
你怎么找到我的
How did you even find me?
很简单买♥♥了部一次性手♥机♥ 放进你包里
Duh. Bought a burner phone, slipped it into your purse,
然后用"查找我的手♥机♥"
and then used the Find My Phone app.
真周到
How thoughtful.
你好卡洛琳公主
Hello, Princess Carolyn.
天啊
Oh, God.
我有一个计划需要你的协助
I have a plan and I need your help.
-我发现他的妈妈有一只假腿 -谁的妈妈
- I found out his mom has a fake leg. - Who's mom?
弗利普我要色♥诱♥她偷走她的腿
Flip. I'm gonna seduce her, steal her leg,
然后用那条腿揍他的脸
and then smack him across the face with it
直到他口中涌满鲜血
until he chokes on his own blood.
比较含蓄但我觉得他会明白的
It's subtle, but I think he'll get the message.
波杰克你到底想要干什么
BoJack, what are you trying to accomplish here?
我不想做那个节目
I-I don't want to do the show.
那你就是要像以前一样一跑了之吗
So you're gonna run away like you always do?
是啊我从来都不想参演那部剧
Yeah. I never wanted to do this show!
-你伪造了我的签名 -我跟你说过了
- You faked my signature! - And I told you that,
你说"好的"
and you said, "Okay"
因为你想做我的好朋友
Because you wanted to be a good friend to me!
所以你不能先那样博取我的好感然后再因此恨我
So, you can't get points for that and then resent me for it now.
这和你无关我不喜欢他
It's not about you! I don't like him!
弗利普没那么糟
Oh, Flip's not that bad.
他就是充满不安全感有点矫枉过正
He's just insecure and is overcompensating a little.
我知道那对你来说肯定是天方夜谭
I know that must be a foreign concept for you.
不不是弗利普是菲尔伯特
No, not Flip. Philbert.
他是个醉汉是个混♥蛋♥ 我不想成为他
He-he's a drunk. He's an asshole. I don't want to be him.
那也许你就别做那个喝醉的混♥蛋♥
So, maybe don't be the drunk asshole.
也许这一次你态度很好
Maybe this time, you have a good attitude
你没有喝多
and you don't drink so much
你准时出现
and you show up at your call time.
然后你穿上了菲尔伯特的服装
And then you put on the Philbert costume
假装成另外一个人
and you pretend to be this other guy.
等你完成拍摄脱下服装
And then when you're done shooting, you take off your costume
你就是波杰克人见人爱的电视剧明星
and you're BoJack, the star of the show that everybody likes.
-是吗 -没错
- Yeah? - Yeah.
我们为什么停在一家收养机构门口
Hey, why are we at an adoption agency?
你想收养什么吗
Are you adopting something?
我想
I'm trying to.
所以你接下来的十周能不能振作起来
So, can you keep it together for the next ten weeks
这样我就不用每天都去片场救火
so I don't need to come to set, every day, to put out fires?
你觉得你能做到吗为我
You think you could do that? For me?
开拍
Action.
布拉恩
你好陌生人
Hey, stranger.
抵达
听起来你的旅途很有意思
It sounds like you had an amazing trip.
没错你最近都在做什么
I did. What have you been up to?
我倒是在一个披萨广♥告♥中扮演尤利乌斯·凯撒
Well, I did play Julius Caesar in a pizza commercial
他们将会...听好了在电影院播出
that they're going to...get this, show in movie theaters.
瞧瞧你披萨
Wow, look at you. Pizza.
吃生菜
Et crudités.
-什么 -那是我的台词
- What? - That was my line.
我扮演小凯撒的爸爸大凯撒
I played Little Caesar's dad, Big Caesar,
在广♥告♥的背景故事中
in the back story part of the commercial,
奇怪的就是
which is funny
很多广♥告♥都没有什么背景故事
because most commercials don't even have a back story part.
以及小凯撒根本就不卖♥♥生菜
Also, Little Caesar's doesn't sell crudités.
天啊我的部分肯定要被砍了
Oh, man, my part's definitely going to get cut, huh?
就像真正的凯撒那样
Just like the real Caesar!
对啊没错
Hey, that's right!
你住的地方到了
Well, here's your place.
没错到了
Yep. Here it is.
不管怎么样我签了字
Well, anyway, I signed the papers.
太好了
Oh. Great!
如果你和你的律师觉得可以
Yeah, so if it all looks good to you and your lawyer,
你就可以签字这样就是正式的了
you can sign it too and then it'll be official.
完成离婚
Divorce completed.
-耶 -我们成功了
- Yay. - We did it.
傻了吧我们的婚姻
Take that, our marriage!
-那我们就回头见了 -嗯
- Well, I guess I'll see you around? - Yeah.
-我是想... -抱歉
- I was going to-- - Sorry.
抱歉习惯了
Sorry. Just go all the way.
-再见 -好
- Well, bye. - Cool.
卡