马男波杰克

BoJack Horseman S05E03

Part 4 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:10 a.m.

That's me. I'm definitely Mindy.
你一直在重复这一点
So you keep saying.
你看我想把这个给你姐姐尤兰达
Look, I'd like to give your sister Yolanda this.
用你太奶奶的
The last barrel
私人秘方调制出来的最后一桶润滑剂
of your great grandmother's secret recipe personal lubricant.
如你所知布埃纳文图拉家的人即将
As you know, when a Buenaventura is about to make love
第一次在家里做♥爱♥时
for the first time in our home,
我们总会给他们一桶祖传润滑剂的
we always give them a barrel of the family lube.
那个
Uh, well...
这么纯的古董润滑剂至少值十万
Antique lube of this purity is worth at least $100,000.
天哪
Ah-ooga!
你好啊宝贝是我你的女朋友尤兰达
Hello, baby, it's me, your girlfriend Yolanda.
我来蹂躏你了
I came to ravage you.
你有点不一样
There's something different about you,
但我说不出来是哪一点
but I can't put my finger on it.
陶德快脱掉裤子上♥床♥
Todd, take off your pants and get in bed.
等等你说什么
Wait. What?
我爸爸马上要来给咱们送超贵的润滑剂
My dad is about to give us very expensive lube
用来让我们在这间房♥子里做♥爱♥
just for having sex in this house.
你是姐妹俩中的哪一个
And which sister are you?
你来这里干什么
What the hell are you doing in here?
陶德让明迪滚出去我们要做点脏脏的
Todd, tell Mindy to get her ass out of here, so we can get nasty.
我才是尤兰达你离我男朋友远点
I'm Yolanda. Get away from my boyfriend!
别听她的陶德
Don't listen to her, Todd.
很明显我是尤兰达因为我穿的就像个废物
I'm clearly Yolanda because I'm dressed like a dumb loser.
我已经被搞糊涂了我是陶德吧
I'm so confused. I'm Todd, right?
或许这样能让状况清楚一点
Maybe, this'll clear things up.
等会死的人就是明迪
Mindy's the one who's about to die!
天啊我来晚了
Oh, dear, I'm too late.
他们已经开始做♥爱♥了他们不需要润滑剂了
They're already having sex. They don't need the lube.
好疼啊
That hurts!
或许他们还需要润滑剂
Or maybe they do need the lube.
世界你看不见我了吧
Can't see me now, world.
安吉莉卡你这穿的都是什么东西
Angelica, as I jizz and breathe, what the hell are you wearing?
-不润滑剂 -天啊
- Oh, no! The lube! - Oh, dear!
这太滑了
That's too slippery!
我的天
Oh, my God!
哦不我们的奶奶在她墓里做性感回旋呢
Oh, no! Our grandma's sexily spinning in her grave.
陶德你得救救润滑剂
Todd, you gotta save the lube!
快用你勃起的丁丁堵住那个洞
Just plug the hole with your erect penis!
什么不
What? No.
只有那个能完美的堵住它
It's the only thing that'll fit the hole perfectly.
肯定还有别的办法
There has to be another way.
它肯定已经勃起了吧
Surely it's erect since
因为你刚刚还在和我的女儿一起做♥爱♥呢
you've been just having sex with my daughter,
所以除非你们一直
so unless you've been deceiving me,
在我自己家里骗我
this whole time, in my own home,
你没有什么符合逻辑的理由
there's no logical reason,
来拒绝掏出你勃起的丁丁
for you, not to whip out your erect penis
然后给我堵住那个洞
and plug the damn hole!
陶德润滑剂
Todd, the lube!
我要试试我的大脚趾这是脚的丁丁
I'm gonna try my big toe. That's the penis of the foot.
天啊小心点
Oh, God, be careful!
-小心 -不
- Look out! - No! Whoa!
我不敢看了
I can't look!
不要啊
No!
在我开始之前我要先交代一下背景
Before I start, just to give some context
因为不然这首歌♥的含义就没办法
because the song doesn't make sense if...
好吧总之时间是在1712年
Okay, so, it's 1712,
美国殖民者
and American colonist
西比拉·马斯特斯正在完善她的发明
Sybilla Masters is perfecting her invention.
能不能省去介绍直接开始唱歌♥
Can we lose the liner notes and get to the singing?
我是一名制片人
I'm a producer.
我不能坐在这里整天聊天
I can't just sit around having conversations, all day.
好的对不起当然了
Oh, yeah, sorry. Of course.
*我们爱我们的玉米我们需要我们的玉米*
*We love our corn and we need our corn*
*但是上帝啊我可以掰成一粒一粒*
*But for goodness sake I could just break it in pieces*
*如果我解决困境是否会变好*
*Would it be all right If I solved our plight?*
*也许如果我能找到我的旧日记*
*Maybe if I could find my old journals*
*就能帮我磨出新的谷子*
*They'll help me to grind new kernels*
*该死*
*Aw, shucks!*
*我有决心建造这个磨坊*
*I have the willpower to create this mill tower*
*我们会在一起尽管我是我的稻草人*
*We'll be quite a pair though I'll be my own scarecrow*
*这不只是形容*
*It's not just a phase*
*这疯狂的女发明家*
*This female inventor craze*
*就算要花好几天好几年*
*If it takes years or days*
*我也要解决这困境[玉米]*
*I'm gonna solve this maize*
*因为我就是*
*'Cause I was boooooorn*
*为玉米而生*
*For the cooooooooooorn*
对不起我先走了
I'm sorry. I'm gonna go.
谢谢对不起以及...对不起
Thank you. And I'm sorry. And... I'm sorry.
好吧我就直说了太尴尬了
Okay, I'm just gonna say it. That was weird.
你知道吗她很紧张然后...
You know what, she was nervous, and--
波杰克
BoJack,
我不知道你们俩在玩什么权力游戏
I don't know what kind of power games you two are playing,
但是别闹到卧室以外
but keep it in the bedroom.
那对她对我们都太残忍♥了
That was just mean, to her and to us.
不我以为她会很棒我是想做点好事
No. I thought she'd be good. I was trying to do a nice thing.
这次要乖的话就怪我好了
And I would like to be judged solely on my intentions this time.
你这个不速之客毁了我们的传家宝
Interloper! You ruined our family heirloom.
对不起起起起起
I'm sorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy...
这是为你想骗陶德
That's for trying to trick Todd
和你做♥爱♥
into having sex with you!
这是为你在高中和我男友做♥爱♥
And that's for having sex with my boyfriend in high school!
我从来没有和他做过爱
I never had sex with him!
你有整个学校都知道了
Yes, you did! The whole school knew about it.
不我没有
No, I didn't.
我本来想做但我逃走了因为我性冷淡
I was going to, but I ran away because I'm asexuaaaaaaaaal!
经过了一番漫长又互相尊重的谈话
终于告诉他们了感觉真好
You know, it felt good to finally tell them.
我很惊讶他们竟然这么镇定
I was surprised how cool they were with it.
我都忘了就算我们不一样
Yeah, I kind of forgot that despite our differences,
他们还是我的家人他们爱我
they're family and they love me.
那我猜那么鬼鬼祟祟根本没有意义了
So, I guess all that sneaking around was completely pointless.
你说得对真是浪费时间
Hey, you're right! What a silly waste of time.
-我能问你点事吗 -当然了
- Hey, can I ask you something? - Of course.
你为什么要告诉你的家人上过大学
Why did you tell your family I went to college?
我不知道我可能只是想让你看上去很棒
Oh, I don't know, I guess I just wanted you to seem impressive.
谁觉得很棒
Impressive to who?
陶德让谁觉得
Todd... To whom.
-尤兰达分手吧 -什么
- Yolanda, we need to break up. - What?
我们唯一的共同点就是都是性冷淡
The only thing we have in common is that we're asexual.
肯定还有合适你的人
I'm sure there's a guy out there for you,
他既聪明又事业有成
whom's smart and accomplished
-还上过大学 -还也不想做♥爱♥吗
- and whom went to college-- - And also doesn't want to have sex?
可能吧
Yeah. Probably.
-万一没有呢 -那我们约定
- But what if there isn't? - Well, then let's make a deal.
如果我们俩
How about if neither of us
在100岁时都没有遇到意中人
meet anybody else by the time we're a hundred,
我们就再在一起试试
we give this another shot?
等我们100岁我不知道
When we're a hundred? I don't know.
你会偷走我的假牙
Are you gonna steal my dentures
做成自动胡桃钳
and use them to build some sort of motorized nutcracker,
但是胡桃钳的人工智能察觉了
but then the nutcracker's AI becomes self-aware
于是带领着其他的假牙
and leads all the other dentures
到疗养院进行牙齿起义吗
in the nursing home in a toothy revolt?
我想说不会的但可能真的会
I wanna say no, but probably yes.
那我猜我们就一百岁时见吧
Well, then, I guess I'll see you when we're a hundred.
拜托你在发抖
Come on, you're shivering.
-盖一条毯子吧 -不我没事
- Please, just take the blanket. - No, I'm okay.
你是《猎杀红色十月》中所描述的战争吗
Are you the type of war dramatized in The Hunt for Red October?