少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S04E08

Part 4 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:28 p.m.

I think you used the company card to buy some lip gloss
我看你是用公♥司♥的卡买♥♥了化妆品
and maybe cocktails out with the girls,
也没准出去和闺蜜大吃大喝
and you got caught.
结果被抓了个现形吧
I knew you were a lightweight when I met you.
我一见你就知道你工作上没本事
Well, you know what?
你等下你等下
I knew that you were a pompous jerk.
我也早就看出你是个自大的混♥蛋♥
Okay, so I took a friend to lunch...
没错我是带个朋友出去打牙祭
on a yacht.
还坐了游艇
But, you know, what is the difference between that
但这又跟你和你哥们出去打球喝酒
and golf and martinis with your buddies?
又有什么区别呢
Uh, nothing, I say.
要我说没区别
Except, perhaps, a penis!
只不过你们多了条那话儿
Yeah, that's right. I said it!
我就说了咋着
Because all the guys at the firm do it,
因为律所所有男的都这么做
and all of them get applauded.
结果还有人鼓掌叫好
No, no, no, they get promoted!
不对不对他们都升职了
Just like your darling Jeremy,
就像你金贵的杰里米
who, by the way, does the perfect impression of you
顺便说一句他模仿你在停车场里
looking for you car in the parking garage.
找你的车学得可像了
"Has anyone seen my 'porsch-uh'?"
有哪位亲看见我的宝石姐啦
It's "Porsche," okay?
人家叫保时捷好不好
But does Jeremy get fired?
杰里米因此被炒了吗
Oh no, because Jeremy is just perfect!
怎么可能杰里米这么完美
Meaning he's a guy, and you all just stick together.
就因为他是个男的而你们爷们要互帮互助
And that's not for me.
原来不是为我鼓的掌
Actually, Jeremy was fired this afternoon
其实吧杰里米今天下午就被解雇了
after we reviewed his expense report
因为我们审查了他的报销账单
and the elevator video of him imitating me.
还看到了他模仿我的监控录像
Did I mention that I am a huge "Porsch-uh" fan?
我说没说过我是宝石姐的铁杆粉
I think we're far past the ass-kissing phase here,
我看拍马屁的阶段早就过去了
but I like spunky Perrin.
但我喜欢这位勇气十足的佩林
She should show up in the courtroom!
这样的佩林才该上法庭战斗
She's the woman I want to believe I hired.
这样的佩林才是我当初想要招进来的人
Oh, you did, sir, you did.
我就是这样的人先生
Well, the jury's still out,
这就留待日后见分晓了
but make sure that woman shows up to work on monday morning.
不过请确保周一来上班的人是那样的佩林
Oh, and Perrin, just so you know,
还有佩林我跟你说
I am now driving
我现在开的车
a "Jag-u-ar."
是杰宝[捷豹]
What?
笑啥
You said "penis."
你刚才说"那话儿"
As Tucker's esteemed attorney, esquire-at-law,
作为代表塔克尔的知名律师法律良助
counselor, pro bono, ipso facto,
知心律姐免费实惠因为所以
we would like to settle this thing as quickly as possible.
我们最好尽快把这件事办妥
You get the apartment. He gets the divorce papers.
房♥子你拿走他跟你离婚
Mint?
吃糖吗
Tucker, I can't believe you're being so reasonable.
塔克尔想不到你这么通情达理
You know, I came to this country with nothing,
我来美国时身无分文
and now I'll be a homeowner.
现在就成了独♥立♥业主啦
It's the American dream.
简直是美国梦啊
And now Tucker will be a 25-year-old divorcee who rents.
从现在起塔克尔就成了25岁租♥房♥♥住的离婚男
It's the American reality.
他这是美国噩梦
Well, Tucker, it's been nice doing business with...
塔克尔我很荣幸当初能找到
You!
你
I can't believe you were married the whole time we were together!
我真不敢相信我们恋爱期间你一直已婚
But now you're gonna pay for cheating me and our country.
但现在你要为背叛爱情背叛祖国付出代价
What'chu talkin' 'bout, Sondra?
你说啥子桑德拉
Your roommates, regular and extra large,
你那个特大号♥室友
told me all about your little green-card marriage,
把你那桩绿卡婚姻全都告诉我了
so I called immigration, and guess what?
所以我联♥系♥了移♥民♥局你猜怎么着
They're on their way over now.
他们分分钟就要过来了
You are getting deported, and you are going to prison.
你会被驱逐出境你蹲监狱去吧
Prison!
蹲死你
Wait, wait, wait, you're getting me deported?
慢着慢着你要害我被驱逐出境
I can't go back to my country! I'm wanted for 16 counts of...
我不能回英国我身上背着16桩
well, doing this kind of thing.
这一类的事情
Need a good lawyer?
需要律师吗
Oh, wait, you know what? That's my yogurt punch card.
慢着这其实是我的酸奶会员卡
You know what? I gotta get out of here.
我得赶紧走了
Look, you can have the divorce papers,
你想离婚就离
just pretend you never saw me.
只要假装从没见过我就好
Okay, deal? Deal.
同意吗完全同意
What about me?
那我呢
I can't go to jail!
我不能去蹲大牢
You know I can't pee if someone's watching.
你知道有人在旁边我尿不出来
Why would you do this to me?
你为什么要害我
Because you're the one.
因为你是我的真爱啊
I didn't actually call immigration.
我其实没联♥系♥移♥民♥局
I was just helping you get rid of her.
我只是帮你摆脱她
Wasn't I great, tickle-bear?
我善良吧塔克小熊熊
Wait, wait, so we're back together?
等等我们这就复合了吗
I know! I'm really excited, too!
高兴吧我是真高兴
Oh, hey, Sondra. What happened here?
你好啊桑德拉这是怎么了
Well, Olivia's gone, and I get to keep Sondra.
奥利维亚走了我和桑德拉复合了
Yay.
好耶
Look how happy he is!
瞧他多幸福
He's crying!
喜极而泣了
You started off in a relationship, then you got dumped,
你先是谈恋爱然后被甩
then you got married, then you got divorced,
然后突然就结了婚然后离了婚
then you got back together with Sondra!
然后你又和桑德拉复合了
Man, you can't write this stuff!
老兄你都能写剧本了
Danny, are those my jeans?
丹尼那是我的牛仔裤吗
Emma, what's my name?
艾玛你叫我什么
Dada.
大大
You are just the smartest,
你真是世界上
sweetest, best baby in the whole world.
最聪明最可爱的小宝贝了
I'm serious, man.
说真的老哥
I think I might get her tested for genius...ness.
我没准该带她去测测天才... 指数
Who do you love, Emma?
你最爱谁啊艾玛
Dada.
爸爸
Oh, way to go, emma!
好样的艾玛
Dada.
巴巴
Dada.
巴巴
Hey, at least you can skip the genius test.
至少你不用带她去做测试了
Dada.
巴巴