少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S04E04

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:27 p.m.

Okay, I know you've only been gone a couple of days,
我知道你没走几天
but look what you missed.
但瞧瞧你错过了什么
Emma, stick out your tongue.
艾玛来伸个舌头
Yeah.
看到了吧
Emma, blow a kiss.
艾玛来个飞吻
Amazing, right? That's great!
很棒吧太赞了
All Mom taught us how to do
老妈唯一教过我们的
was the field sobriety test.
就是怎么做酒驾测试
I'm telling you, I think she might be a genius.
我跟你说哦我想她可能是个天才
What is wrong with the world?
这个世界怎么了
Ben posted Emma doing that stupid tongue trick,
本不过发了个艾玛伸舌头的视频
and it already has over 200 likes.
这会儿就有两百个赞了
I change my status to "In a relationship with Ben Wheeler,"
我把感情状态改成了"与本·维勒热恋中"
and I only got one.
却只有一个人点赞
And Grandpa Perrin likes everything.
而且佩林爷爷什么都赞的好吗
Riley, you're the girl who cried "Ben."
莱丽你就像那个喊"狼来了"的小孩
I mean, you've posted that so many times,
这条你已经发了太多次
no one believes you.
都没人相信你了
I know I don't.
至少我不信
Oh my god.
天哪
I'm Mindy.
我就是明迪
Ooh, and I'm Darnell. I love role-play.
那我当达内尔我最喜欢角色扮演了
No! Mindy is a girl from my office
想什么呢明迪是我办公室的一个女孩
who finally landed the guy she's been chasing her whole life,
她终于跟她的梦中情人好上了
and then all of these horrible women ran this secret pool
可那些八婆却在背地里偷偷下注
betting on how soon they'd break up.
赌他们多久会分手
That's horrible.
太不厚道了
How much did you win?
你赢了多少
Almost $100.
差不多100块
All right!
快说
Which one of you shiny-haired degenerates
你们那个头发油亮的小子
stole my conditioner?
偷了我的护发素
Says the woman in my bathroom
好像你才是那个霸占我浴室
standing under my water
站在我的花洒下
using my towels.
用我毛巾的人
Did I use the word "My" Enough?
明白"我"这句话的重点了吗
'cause I just don't think you're getting it.
我觉得你好像还不太明白
Oh, I get it, you know, but you're just not getting rid of me.
我明白的很但你摆脱不了我的
I bought plenty more hair where this came from.
这样的假发老娘多着呢
Hey, Mom, looking good.
老妈新造型不错啊
Ooh. Hey, is that your brother?
那是你哥吗
I wonder if he has an opinion on this.
我倒想听听他对这事怎么看
No. No, there is only one
不不要想住在这里
brother whose permission you need to live here.
你要征求意见的哥们只有一个
This one.
就是我
Danny? Danny, Danny. Give it to me. No.
丹尼丹尼快给我别跑
Tell Tucker that the woman who carried all 14 lbs.
快跟塔克说这个揣着14磅的你
of you inside of her body
辛苦怀胎了11个月的女人
for 11 months can stay in your room!
可以在你房♥间里住下
Hey! No! Give it.
别闹给我
You two might share D.N.A., but I share a wall with you.
你们或许血浓于水但我跟你可只有一墙之隔
If she doesn't get out, your secrets will.
如果她不离开我就把你的秘密都说出去
Okay.
行了
So, you homesick yet?
你想家了吗
W-why would I be homesick when Paris is my new home?
我为什么要想家巴黎是我的新家了
I gotta go.
先挂了
I think that went pretty well.
我想应该还算顺利吧
Totally.
当然了
Except for the part where you forgot to mention
除了你忘记告诉他们
that your girlfriend dumped you
你还没到巴黎
before you even hit the ground in paris,
就被女朋友给甩了
and that you're actually in New York,
而且你如今人在纽约
secretly crashing with your mom's ex-boyfriend.
正借住在你老妈的前男友这儿
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**can take your life and change directions.*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
Okay. Last question.
好了最后一个问题
"What is your idea of the perfect date?"
"你理想中的完美约会是怎样的"
Is it, "A," A walk on the beach,
A 沙滩漫步
"B," Dinner and a movie,
B 晚餐加电影
Or, "C," A quiet night at home?
还是C 在家享受静谧夜晚
Which one ends with sex?
哪个选项最后能嘿♥咻♥
And it's "D," None of the above.
那是D 以上皆不是
Which brings our compatibility score to a 10...
这样算来我们的合拍指数是十
There you go! Perfect score.
瞧满分
I told you we were meant to be together.
我早说了我们是天生一对
...out of a hundred.
满分是一百
We failed.
我们都没及格
Riley, please don't go there again.
莱丽求你别再来了
Okay, first, we are shunned by social media...
首先我们在社交网络上完全被无视
You're going there. ...then we failed
你又要来了然后七个
seven different quizzes written by experts.
不同专家编写的测试都不及格
You're almost there. and to top it all off,
马上了而且更糟糕的是
I think the horrible women at work
我觉得办公室那些八婆们
are running a pool on me.
正在拿我下注
And you're there. Riley...
你又开始了莱丽
Come on, please.
求你了别这样
Who cares what everyone else thinks?
谁在乎别人怎么想啊
All that matters is that we're together.
重要的是我们在一起就够了
No, what matters is that
不重要的是
everyone is jealous that we're together.
我要大家都嫉妒咱们这对天作之合
Okay, mom, mom.
好吧老妈老妈
My mom agrees with me, don't you?
老妈同意我说的对吗
Yes, in my experience,
没错以我的经验来看
One kid is enough.
一个孩子足够了
No. No, Riley is concerned
不是这个莱丽在担心
that we might not be entirely compatible.
我们可能并不完全适合彼此
It's just she spent so many years building up
你要知道这么多年来
this relationship in her head
她一直在脑海中想象你们在一起
that there's absolutely no way
所以根本没可能
It could ever live up to her expectations,
这段感情不可能达到她的预期的
so there's really nowhere else to go but down.
所以应该不会有什么好结果的
Mom!
妈妈
Why would you say that?
你为什么要这么说
Sorry. It was a little unclear which way you wanted me to go.
对不起我也不知道你想让我怎么说
We're doomed.
我们完蛋了
It's over. I mean, should we just end it now?
都结束了我是说要不要现在就分手
No, it's not. It's fine. What were we even thinking?
没有我们很好我们到底在想什么
Relax. Chill. You know what happens Nobody thinks that we can
放轻松你知道吗没人觉得我们可以
Is this gonna work?
这有用吗
I mean, hello.
这不明摆着吗
I have the pores of a baby.
你看我有婴儿般的毛孔
A beautiful, beautiful baby.
还是个非常美丽的婴儿
But, Danny, we need to talk.
但是丹尼我们得谈谈
Okay, but can we wait until we take the masks off?
好吧但是能不能等我们把面膜洗掉
Because you're kind of freaking me out.
因为你这样好吓人
I have a new girlfriend,
我有了个新女朋友
and I'm not really set up for the whole "Roommate" thing.
我实在不太适合有室友
Don't worry. I get it.
别担心我懂的
Honestly, I don't think you do.
说实话我觉得你不懂
I need you to leave, Danny.
我需要你搬出去丹尼
Okay. I'll just call one of my teammates...
好吧我会给我的队友打电♥话♥
whose numbers are in my laptop.
他的号♥码就在我的手提电脑里
Okay, now we're getting somewhere.
好了我们总算有些进展了
Well, actually, you need to go somewhere,
事实上你需要去一个地方
because I left it at my place.
因为电脑在我家
But it's cool. You could just sneak in and get it.
但没关系的你可以溜进去拿
Thanks in advance, bro.
提前谢谢你了兄弟
I can't go there. What if I see your mom?
我不能去万一看到你妈妈怎么办
Bad things happen when I see your mom.
一看到你妈妈就会发生不好的事
Also very good things, if you know what I mean.
但也会有很好的事如果你懂的话