少男奶爸（2012）

Baby Daddy S04E02

Part 1 Nov. 30, 2020, 2:27 p.m.

Ooh. Hello, Emma. Hello.
你好呀艾玛你好
Or should I say, halo!
还是我该说光环[与你好发音相似]
Oh, how will people know
要是我不带着我的圣诞天使
it's christmas without my little Christmas angel?
别人怎么会知道现在是圣诞节呢
Oh, I think they'll know.
我觉得他们能知道
People on other planets will know.
别的星球的人都能看出来
Can I take this off now?
我能把这个脱了吗
I keep getting shocked and my heart is beating weird.
我一直被电我的心跳的好奇怪
Yeah. Yeah. I probably wouldn't sweat too much in that thing.
是啊穿着这一身最好别出太多汗
Grandpa learned the hard way. You know...
外公就通过实践领悟了这个道理
"God, I love Christmas shopping,"
"天哪我太喜欢圣诞采购了"
Said never, by no one.
这话我可从没跟任何人说过
I have been poked, prodded, and peed on.
我被戳被捅还被尿
My eyelids are frozen, my fingers are numb,
我的眼皮都冻住了手指也麻了
and I haven't felt my left foot for the last two hours.
而且我的左脚已经失去知觉两个小时了
The only good news is that I got a special someone
唯一的好消息是我为某个特殊的人
a certain something that they really,
买♥♥到了他们这个圣诞节
really wanted this Christmas.
真的真的很想要的一样东西
You got me those speakers? And that camera?
你给我买♥♥了那个音箱吗还有那个相机
A time machine and better taste in men?
时光机和挑男人的好品味吗
I was talking about my daughter,
我在说我的女儿
but apparently, I forgot to buy a few things.
但很显然我好像忘了一些东西
Oh god, I'll be back before new years.
天哪我新年之前回来
Seriously, mom? Fake snow?
真的吗妈妈假雪
Well, I'm sorry, but the real stuff kept melting.
对不起但是真雪一直在融化
I know. I know.
就是啊就是的
Merry christmas!
圣诞快乐
Bye. Bye!
再见再见
**It's amazing how the unexpected*
*人生妙无边惊喜无极限
**Can take your life and change direction*
*劝君莫等闲雌雄随我愿
Okay, so what should I make for Christmas dinner this year?
好吧今年的圣诞晚餐我应该做点什么菜呢
Your mother has passed on the sacred responsibility
你妈妈将准备晚餐这项
of preparing the holiday meal to me.
神圣的任务交给我了
To me.
给我了
Oh my god. What was I thinking?
天呐当时我都想什么事儿了啊
The same thing we'll be thinking after we take the first bite;
就跟我们到时尝过第一口以后一样的事情
We've made a terrible mistake.
那就是我们都犯了个很严重的错误
Okay, if my measurements for the tree are correct,
好了如果我没量错的话
we should be able to fit a 41-footer. Ha!
我们应该能容下一棵41尺高的树
What do you think?
你觉得呢
I think an actual ladder would be better at math.
我觉得梯子应该都比你算得准
Well, I freed our Christmas costumes.
我找到了合适的圣诞装扮
Granted, I had to flash Dan, the storage guy, a 20,
姐招供姐为此色♥诱♥了丹一个20多岁
among other things,
仓库管♥理♥员♥什么的
but look what I found, Benji.
看我找到了什么小本
Oh, your old angel wings.
你小时候的天使翅膀
No, thanks. Last time I worse those it was fifth grade
不谢了我上次穿这个是五年级
and somebody beat the crap out of me.
还被某些人揍了一顿
I am so sorry about that.
那件事我很抱歉
Well, I think they're perfect for the Christmas pageant.
但我觉得这个很适合圣诞庆典
The christmas what? Pageant.
圣诞什么？庆典
The one you signed me up for at Emma's daycare center.
你帮我在艾玛托儿所报名的那个啊
Oh, is that what that was?
原来是这么个玩意儿啊
They're always bugging me for something over there.
他们老是在那盘算设计来陷害我
All right, well promise me
好吧但你要答应我
you won't dress Emma up in anything too crazy.
不会把艾玛打扮的太吓人
If I recall, this is the age where kids start to feel shame.
我想了想这个年龄的孩子开始有羞耻感了
She's a Wheeler;
她可是维勒家的孩子
We wear our shame like a comfy, old sweater.
我们把羞耻感当做一件舒服的旧毛衣穿
Which reminds me, wear yours to the pageant because you're in it.
这也提醒我了你就这么穿着旧毛衣去吧
No I'm not.
我才不要呢
Yeah, I'm here.
是的我来了
I'm telling you right now, I'm not doing this stupid show
我现在就告诉你我不要穿着这件傻衣服
in this stupid outfit. It's stupid.
参加这个傻活动这太傻了
I think you look adorable.
我觉得你很可爱啊
Doesn't he look adorable?
他看起来不可爱吗
Stop it, mom, you're embarrassing me.
别这样妈妈你让我很难堪
Okay, people. Focus in.
好了同志们集中注意力
Leave your tasks. Come, come.
别忙了快过来过来
I'm Hermione Pimstock, your pageant director,
我是赫敏·皮姆斯托克你们的庆典指导
and today is your lucky day.
你们今天很幸运
I have attended over a dozen broadway productions.
我参加过十几次百老汇剧目的制♥作♥
Yes.
好棒
Bravo.
太棒了
Thank you. Just call me your Christmas angel.
谢谢叫我圣诞天使就可以了
What are you supposed to be?
你打算扮演什么
Well, I'm your Virgin Mary,
我是童贞女玛利亚
and I can handle anything you throw at me.
你抛给我什么我都能接得住
I bet you can, though I
我相信你能虽然我
doubt any of it ends with you being a virgin.
强烈怀疑你能跟"童贞"二字扯上关系
Okay, god picked her for a reason.
好吧上帝选择玛利亚总有其道理
Mom, mom, mom. Nobody wants to hear your theory
妈妈妈妈没人想听你那个关于
on why Mary had to be hot.
为什么玛利亚要衣着很火♥辣♥的理论
okay.
好吧
Oh, well isn't this just a slice of Christmas crap pie?
这可真是圣诞悲剧的序幕啊
Walt and Susie Chesterbaum are out.
沃特和苏西·查斯特邦目夫妇退出了
They're our big musical finale.
他们是我们的音乐剧压轴
Damn it! Walt chesterbaum is the premier Jesus
该死沃特·查斯特邦目在东海岸
on the eastern seaboard.
可是耶稣的首席扮演者啊
Ugh! Okay.
好吧
Excuse me.
不好意思
Oh, Benji...
小本
What do you say we put the old Wheeler band back together,
你觉得我们重组维勒乐队怎么样
and we blow the roof off this joint?
然后把这个集♥会♥震撼个底朝天
Mom, the Wheeler band hasn't been together
妈妈自从我们真的把某地弄了个底朝天后
since we literally blew that roof off that joint.
就没有什么维勒乐队了
Fine, honey,
好吧亲爱的
If you really don't want to do it.
如果你真的不愿意...
I really don't want to do it. Yeah, well, who asked you?
我真的不愿意行了行了谁问你意见了
All right, Hermie, wait. I've got the perfect finale act;
小敏等等我有个完美的压轴表演
the wheeler band, and we are gonna blow the roof off this joint.
维勒乐队我们可以把这次集♥会♥嗨翻天
You got fire insurance, right?
你买♥♥了火灾险吧
All right, let's get down to business and strategize
好了我们来谈谈正事吧想一套
for operation get the perfect tree.
"完美圣诞树行动"的攻略吧
I wanted to call it operation needle.
我本想叫它"指针行动"的
Well, I changed it.
我改掉了怎样
Oh my god, this holiday can't be over fast enough.
天哪这个节日怎么还不快点结束
Whoever said this was the most wonderful time of year
谁要是说这是一年最美妙的时刻
should be clubbed with a candy cane.
真应该被拐杖糖打一顿
I get the first whack.
我要来第一下
Well, that is a lovely holiday sentiment, Ben,
这是个很好的节日情绪本
But right now I need to download you on operation needle.
但我现在需要跟你谈谈"指针行动"
Oh, fine. You were right.
好了好了你的点子更好
All right, pay attention.
好了认真听
There is a new shipment coming in today at 4:00
今天下午四点会有一批新货到达第九大道
to the lot on ninth by the bodega with the reindeer on the roof.
房♥顶有只麋鹿的酒窖旁的货场
Got it? 9:00 on fourth.
明白了吗九点第四大道
4:00 on ninth.
是四点第九大道
with a santa in the window. I'm gonna start again.
窗户里有圣诞老人是吧我再说一遍哈
Why does everyone have to make everything so complicated--
怎么人人都把事情搞得这么复杂
between the tree, and the decorations, and the shopping,
圣诞树装饰购物
and that stupid pageant.
还有那个无聊的庆典
Plus, the only thing I was
另外我唯一
actually looking forward to, christmas dinner,
真正期待的圣诞大餐
is guaranteed to be ruined since mom is letting Riley cook,
肯定没法吃了因为老妈已经交给莱丽了
and the only things that she knows how to make
她会做的只有
Are dry muffins and burnt toast.
干松饼和烤焦的面包
She's standing right behind me, isn't she? Yup.
她就在我身后对吗对头
Riley, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.
莱丽对不起我不是有意的
You're an amazing cook.
你是中华小当家