第五大道

Avenue 5 S01E01

Part 5 March 19, 2020, 9:25 a.m.

this way.
看到我的双手是怎么逐渐偏离了吗
You see how my hands are moving far apart?
实际上明显偏得更厉害
And it's further in reality, obviously.
很明显大家都明白吧
Obviously, that's obvious, right?
懂了吗
See?
不不不是这样这样不对
No. No. That's wrong. That's not right.
-是对的 -对吗
- It is right. - Is it right?
-对啊 -不对
- Yeah. - No.
应该变成反方向
It would be a straight line.
-不对 -不对
- No. - No.
-什么 -没错
- What? - Yes.
-到底谁才是工程师 -谁才是天才
- Okay, who's the engineer here? - Who's the genius?
-谁才是船长 -谁闯的祸
- Who's the captain? - Who fucked up?
可是那个人怎么会死到底什么情况
But how did that guy die? What the hell's goin' on?
我们应该感到害怕吗
Should we be scared?
可能吧如果你们想的话
Maybe, if-- if you want.
你应该回答不应该混♥蛋♥
You're supposed to say no, you prick!
我们来这是花了钱的
We are paying to be here.
我受的训练是
Okay. I'm trained to make sure
及时补充各位的沐浴露
that your body wash gets replenished,
不是扭转危及人类生存的重大灾难
not to rectify the catastrophe of human existence.
所以担心也没用好吗
So, worrying doesn't help, okay?
因为你们现在的表现
Because the way you're acting right now,
让我此刻觉得你们极其不讨人喜欢
I'm finding you all extremely unenjoyable, at this point!
我巴不得大家都在各自的房♥间里
And I wish we were in separate rooms,
我可是讨厌独处的
and I hate being alone!
听好此次航行五周后就会结束
Look, in five weeks, this journey's gonna be over,
到时候我就能回家
and I'm gonna be home,
再也不用管你们这些人了
and I'm never gonna have to think about you ever again!
好了好了傻帽经理还是听老娘说吧
All right, all right, Tony Macaroni, so listen to mama.
我们偏离了航线
We've been knocked off course,
得要三年才能回家
and we won't get home for three years.
-什么 -三年
- What? - Three years?
天啊太搞笑了
Oh, my God, that is hilarious!
我准备了一大段话
I just made a whole speech.
凯伦本来应该是你姐姐来的
Karen, it was supposed to be your sister who's here,
现在换你来了
and it's you!
她的畸大脚趾救了她
She was saved by her big toe!
你们为什么不告诉我们
Why the hell didn't you tell us?
我们为什么要收下船票
Why did we accept those tickets?
我们都准备离婚了
We were gonna get a divorce.
我们都快掰了我们想着...
We were about to split up! We thought...
"去太空度假吧也就八周"
"Why not just take the space-cation? It's only eight weeks."
都怪瑜伽
I blame the yoga!
都怪她课上那些韧性超强的混♥蛋♥撞到墙上
Her class of bendy fuckers bashed against the wall
我们才会偏离航线
and knocked us all off course.
是他要我打破记录的
He told me to set a record!
所以是你的错
Oh, so it's your fault?
也许是我的错
Maybe it was my fault.
也许是太空马尾辫的错是他召集大家
Maybe it's Space Pony's fault because he got everybody up
-围观小行星的 -那颗小行星有什么好看的
- to look at the asteroid! - It was a shitty asteroid!
你要是再不拿我当回事的话
You know, if you don't start taking me seriously,
这里所有人就都死定了
everyone here is dead.
第一个死的就是你
And you'll be first.
-这话什么意思 -我不想死
- What does that mean? - I don't wanna die!
对吧这一切到底有何意义
Right? What does any of it mean?
这就是命运它在跟我们开即兴玩笑呢
This is fate. And it is freestyling with us.
爵士乐讲究即兴
-就像是爵士乐般的命运 -我讨厌爵士乐
- This is, like, jazz fate. - I hate jazz!
-我也不喜欢认命 -他说的有道理
- And I hate fate. - He's got a point.
你那么开心干什么
What are you so happy about?
我是个虚无主义者
I'm a nihilist.
-你才不是呢 -我无所谓
- No, you're not! - Whatever!
天啊
Oh, my god.
大家都叫出来吧
Everybody scream!
好吧我们把重力关掉
Fine. Let's just switch the gravity off
让所有人再往对面的墙上撞一次
and fire everyone at the opposite wall.
-问题解决了 -问题解决了
- Problem solved. - Problem solved.
比利问题解决了吗
Billie? Problem solved?
当然没有
Obviously not.
我们原本想借助土卫六的重力牵引
No, we were going to use the gravitational pull of Titan,
但现在应该已经错过了
and we would've missed that now.
好吧
All right.
瑞恩你的计划是什么
Ryan, what's your plan?
要说"计划" 还不至于
Well, "plan" is, uh, a little grand.
计划暂时还没成型
It's, uh‐‐ It's not quite there yet.
给我个回答你可是拯救大道
I want answers. You're the man who saved Avenue...
-大道三号♥ -三号♥的人
‐ Avenue 3. ‐ Three.
-没错 -我读了报告
- That's right. - I read the reports.
我从不阅读的你是个英雄
I don't even read. You're a damn hero.
是啊那时候你是英雄
Yeah, you were a hero then.
-现在也英雄起来吧 -英雄起来
‐ Be a... Be a hero now. ‐ Hero now.
-你可是船长 -有完没完啊
- You're the Captain, s... ‐ Oh, for fuck's sake!
你们这些人是有毛病吧
What is the matter with you people?
是急救人员的功劳
It was the paramedics!
我翻来覆去地强调
I've said this over and over again!
大道三号♥的火灾是消防员扑灭的
The fire on Avenue 3 was put out by firefighters!
还有天花板里伸出来的喷水器
And the sprinklers came down from the ceiling!
我就是个旁观者
I was a bystander!
灾难发生时我能做的就是
I can be in the vicinity of a catastrophe,
戴着帽子站在附近
wearing a nice hat!
除此之外的我♥干♥不了
Anything more than that, I'm out!
先说要紧的事
Look, first thing's first,
我们得让乘客们冷静下来
we need to calm the passengers.
你刚刚那是什么声音
What the hell just happened with your voice?
是啊什么鬼
Yeah, what the hell?
-我提高了嗓门 -不不不
‐ I raised my voice, I'm s... - No, no, no.
你就像在演木偶戏
No, you did, like, a‐‐ a puppet show,
换了完全不同的声音
and then you did, like, a different voice.
没有我绝对没有
No, I definitely didn't.
-你绝对有 -你有
- You definitely did. ‐ Yeah. Yeah.
你就像就像
You did‐‐ You did, like, a...
跟这个不完全相同
Okay, it wasn't exactly like that,
-但很接近 -你是澳大利亚人吗
‐ but it was very similar. ‐ Are you Australian?
我是澳大利亚人吗
Am I Australian?
-对 -不我不是澳大利亚人
- Yeah. ‐ No, I'm not Australian.
-好吧 -我告诉你我是哪里人
- All right. ‐ I'll tell you what I am:
-我是英国人 -搞什么
‐ I'm English. ‐ What the fuck?
-天呐 -英国人就更糟了
‐ Oh, my God. ‐ That's so much worse!
是吗你觉得英国人更糟
Oh, really? You think that's worse?
那好还有更糟的呢
Well, this is worse even than that.
我也不是船长
I'm not a captain either.
-这就解释得通了 -天呐
‐ That makes sense. ‐ Oh, my God.
-一切都解释得通了 -你是上将吗
- That makes a lot of sense. ‐ Are you an Admiral?
不是什么
No. What?
-中将吗 -不是这是一艘无人驾驶飞船
‐ Vice Admiral? ‐ No! This is a driverless ship.
好吗雇我来只是
All right? I was hired just to‐‐
让乘客们安心
to give the passengers some reassurance.
我跟你们一样觉得荒唐
I think it's as insane as you do.
那你的美国口音呢
And the American accent?
我不知道乘客觉得美国人更可靠
I‐‐ I dunno. Passengers find American more reassuring.
天知道为什么
God knows why.
有个真船长才更可靠
Not as reassuring as having an actual captain!
别说了我才有资格发火
Hey, dial it down! I'm the one who gets to be mad!
真的不该让他焦虑
Okay, it's a really bad idea to give him anxiety.
你个混球
You're a prick.
厉害见解太深刻了
Bravo, that's a fantastic contribution.
干得漂亮真该给你颁个徽章
Well done. You should get a badge for that.
比如来个金色的"贾"
Maybe little gold J, I dunno.
你看到这一小块地板了吗
You see this little piece of floor over here?
比你有用
More useful than you!