第五大道

Avenue 5 S01E07

Part 5 March 19, 2020, 9:27 a.m.

对迈克说好吃
Yeah, Mike said they were good.
真好还有即时回放
Great, we get action replay.
你真幽默
That's... I like that.
船长餐桌的谈话
Captain's Table is really, uh,
简直绝了
killing it on the conversation front.
番茄我等不及想听你们说说玉米了
Tomatoes. I can't wait to hear your opinion on the sweet corn.
那个七尺宝宝在挑战我们
The muscly toddler is giving us a challenge!
说点有趣的船长
Be more interesting, Captain.
那边在干什么
What's happening over there?
我觉得瑞恩要把他无聊死了
I think Ryan is boring him to death.
无聊可不好
Boring is bad.
但弄死他不错
But to death... To death is good.
好消息我脱离了一段无性婚姻
Great news. I just got out of a sexless marriage.
久旱难耐
Dry as a desert.
现在我和银河系最性感的男人同住
Now I'm living on a flood plain with the hottest man
甘露泛滥
in the galaxy.
她是说我魅力四射
She's-- She's referring to my attractiveness
-不是说我体温高 -他们知道
- and not my temperature. - No, they know.
太好笑...
That's fun--
我不是很理解喜剧
I don't get a lot of comedy,
但喜剧...是悲剧加上时间对吗
but it's-- it's tragedy plus time, right?
是的但是...
Yeah. But, you know...
要多长时间才够呢
how much time is enough time?
我不知道要多长时间才够
I don't know. How much time is enough time?
我刚刚不是在抖包袱
There's no punchline to that one.
迈克芭芭拉自我介绍一下吧
So, Mike, Barbara, tell us about yourselves.
你们有孩子吗
Do you have kids?
我们有个儿子
We-- We have a son,
离开他这么久真的很难熬
and it's-- it's real hard being away from him for so long.
他一定很想你们
He must be missing you.
他昏迷了
He's in a coma.
-什么 -什么鬼
- What? - The fuck?
你们知道吗昏迷全是心理作用
Comas are all in the mind. Did you know that?
你完全可以自主脱离昏迷
You can literally bring yourself out of one.
你们让儿子昏迷
You left your son in a coma...
就为了来度假
to come on holiday?
不是我们让他人工昏迷是他撞上了路肩
We didn't induce the coma. He hit the curb...
天呐
Oh, god.
-他当时在滑滑板 -在滑滑板
- He was skateboarding. - Skateboarding.
真酷啊
Oh, that's cool.
-嗯 -什么
- Yeah. - What?
他已经昏迷十八个月了
He's been in a coma for 18 months.
我们以为只会在这里待八周
We thought we'd only be here for eight weeks.
你们他妈的是认真的吗
Are you fucking serious?
这可不太礼貌
Well, that's disrespectful.
是你们丢下浑身插管的儿子
Yeah, well, you're the ones drinking Mai Tai
跑到太空享用迈泰鸡尾酒
while your son's tubed up like a potato clock.
我年轻的时候
When I was younger,
曾经想过如果有个儿子会怎样
I used to wonder what it would be like to have a son,
然后突然有天我意识到自己就是别人的儿子
and then, suddenly, one day, I realized I am a son.
要命了 "船长餐桌"
Fuck's sake. "Captain's Table."
只有船长和桌子仅此而已
It's got a captain and a table! And that's it.
说到食物我才不要碰这盘没味道的鸟粪
And as for this food, I can't touch this taste-free guano!
到此为止我他妈受够了
Right! That's it! I am fucking done!
我受够了
I'm done!
活见鬼断头饭都比这要轻松愉悦
Fuck it! There are jauntier dinners on death row,
你们就不能有个人问问我的感受吗
and god forbid that anybody should actually ask how I'm doing!
你感觉怎么样
How are you doing?
你知道还有什么"昏迷"了吗我的婚姻
And you know what else is in a coma? My marriage.
我刚收到消息他们要关掉生命维持了
And I've just heard that they're gonna switch off life support.
谢谢各位晚安
Thank you and good night.
你确定他理解"拍马屁"的意思吗
Are we fully certain he understood the term "schmooze?"
你想不想...
Do you wanna go, uh,
去排泄物里找教宗的脸
check out an old pope's face in some excrement?
他把桌子向前推然后他向后退了
He pushed the table forward and he went backwards.
要是你喜欢不爱惜家具的人
Sure. I mean, you like a guy who disrespects furniture,
-我也可以做到 -大小相等方向相反
- I can do that. - Opposite and equal.
如果我们丢弃一些东西
So, if we jettison some stuff,
就能向前推进了穿过那圈...
we could push forward, past the ring--
好吧继续我们美好的约会
All right, our wonderful date continues.
马屁拍得真好马屁船长
Nice job schmoozing, Captain Schmooze.
你搞什么呢我们现在怎么办
What the hell was that? What are we gonna do?
我知道那只是粪便亲爱的
I know they're just turds, honey.
-求你帮帮我 -好了宝贝
- Please help me. - All right, baby. Okay.
你体温过高我们去别的地方
You're overheating. Just-- Let's go somewhere,
把你的衬衫脱了
and we'll take your shirt off.
今晚的观众中有一些熟悉的粪便[音似"面孔
Hey, I see some familiar feces in the audience tonight.
你在即兴创作大便笑话
You're improvising crap jokes.
还挺好笑的
That's very funny, I guess.
谢谢你一直是个屎观众[很糟的观众]
Thank you, but you've been a shit audience.
好吧又是一样的笑话船长
Okay, that was just the same joke. Captain.
船长我有办法了
Captain, I think I got it.
看看他们
Look at them.
他们脸上满怀希望
They have so much hope on their faces.
当个快乐的白♥痴♥多好啊
Oh, to be a happy cretin.
我们应该把马特扔出气闸
We should throw Matt out of the airlock
是他让大家以为自己
for making people panic
会被扔出气闸造成了恐慌
that they're gonna be thrown out of the airlock.
我想她的意思是
I think that she's implying that
我们把这些流浪汉扔出气闸对吗爱瑞丝
we dump these vagrants out of the airlock. Right, Iris?
-不我不是这个意思 -我很乐意伸出援手
- No, I'm not implying that. - Well, I'll gladly lend a hand.
让我回想起了搞地♥产♥的日子
Takes me back to my property days.
用板球拍赶走非法占房♥的
Clearing squats... with a cricket bat.
我们把东西从后面发射出去
We shoot stuff out of the back,
就能推动我们从屎环中脱身
and that pushes us forward to break free from the shit ring.
没错另外由于重量减轻
Correct. Plus, with the weight loss,
我们六个月后就可以对接
we can dock in six months.
我真该拥抱你不过我们都不想那样
I could hug you, but neither one of us wants that.
听我说大家注意听好吗
Listen. Can I have your attention?
贾德星系
飞船倒计时五分钟后发射
Shuttle launch in five minutes and counting.
-拉芙 -我去散散心
- Uh, Rav. - Going for a walk.
拉芙外边不安全
Rav, it's not safe outside.
我想去哪就去哪包括从你身上踩过去
I walk where I please. I can walk on you if I want.
朋友们我向你们坦白我明白了
My friends. I confess to you now that I see it.
我明白了信仰的重要性
I see the importance of faith.
-对科学的信仰 -阿门
- Faith in science. - Amen.
科学不需要信仰科学就是科学
Science does not need faith. It just is.
拉芙现在不行
Rav! Not now!
还有一些抗♥议♥者突破了警戒线
Also, a couple of protesters have breached the perimeter,
所以保安想把你送去安全的地方
so security would like to escort you to a safe place.
艾伦在发射飞船之前我哪也不去
Alan, I'm not going anywhere until I've launched the shuttle!
-拉芙 -艾伦我很抱歉
- Rav? - Alan, I'm sorry!
牛顿第
Newton's...
三定律
Third Law...
表明这是原文
states, and I quote,
如果把东西从飞船后面扔出去
that if you throw stuff outta the back of the ship,
就能推动飞船前进
it pushes you forward.
拉维奥利你要去哪里
Ravioli, where you going?
艾伦我要亲自把贾德带回来
Alan, I'm going to bring Judd back myself.
允许进入
Access authorized.
我要上那艘飞船再见
I'm getting on that shuttle. Goodbye!
不要这样做你会错过你的生日的
Don't do this! You'll miss your birthday!
有传言说要把五百人扔出去
There's been talk about ejecting 500 people from the ship.
那是撒旦的谗言
That is the talk of Satan.
主啊把他赶出去但不要赶出气闸
Lord, cast him out! But not of the airlock!
我们发射相当于五百人重量的东西
We eject the equivalent weight of 500 people,
就能抛开重担大步前进
and we jettison that weight, pushing us forward
直奔地球
within striking distance of Earth
只需六个月
within six months!
-六个月 -哈利路亚