第五大道

Avenue 5 S01E07

Part 1 March 19, 2020, 9:27 a.m.

-你真是大杀四方 -什么
- You fucking killed it. - What?
我是笑着说的你大杀四方
I'm smiling, you killed it. Like...
前情回顾
那是什么
What is that?
是氧气泄漏
It's an oxygen leak.
这飞船是锡纸做的吗
What is this ship made of? Tinfoil?
你要改变他们对你的看法
You need to change the way they see the ship.
你是不是在说激光
Are you talking about lasers?
总统建议我们放弃五百人
The president suggested we lose 500 people.
你们要杀掉五百名乘客
You're just gonna kill 500 passengers?
哔哔声是飞船在提醒我们
The Beeping is the ship telling us
要为宝宝重新调校
to recalibrate for the baby.
-我们有空气 -对我们有空气
- We have air?! - Yeah, we have air.
亮起来吧
And... light 'em up!
他把人能想象到的最恶心的东西
He's transformed the most disgusting thing imaginable
变成了屁♥眼♥松露的万花筒
into a kaleidoscope of butt truffles.
太空和奢侈品
Space and luxury,
这是一段有些尴尬的联姻
a somewhat awkward marriage.
但每段婚姻不都是如此吗
But then, isn't every marriage?
至少我的婚姻是
I know mine was!
因为通讯中断我们无法与地球联络
With comms down, we can't talk to Earth,
但我们还是可以像美人鱼那样畅游
but we can still swim like a mermaid,
像黑帮那样赌博像野兽那样狂吃
gamble like a gangster, eat like a beast.
部分食物调味剂暂时无法提供
Some food flavorings may not be available.
然后花上几小时欣赏我们的屎光圈
And spend hours marveling at our illuminated circle of turds!
这玩意被贾德先生点亮后
This thing is kind of mesmerizing
有点让人陶醉
since Mr. Judd lit it up.
看看那里
Oh. See that-- Look at right there.
像个玉米煎饼
Looks like a burrito.
哪里
Where?
-那里在动 -我没看到玉米煎饼
- Right-- See? It's moving. - I'm not seeing a burrito.
我倒是能看出一张脸来
I can see a face there, kind of.
或许...
It's maybe...
约翰·保罗
John Paul.
披头士还是石油大亨
Beatles or Getty?
我能看到教宗的脸
I see the pope's face.
教宗约翰·保罗二世他是世纪之交上任的
Pope John Paul II. He was in at the turn of the century.
他当然从不出错
Infallible, obviously,
但很擅长为历史错误道歉
but great at apologizing for historical bad stuff.
我只能看到一堆发光的排泄物
All I'm seeing is a lot of shiny excrement.
抱歉伙计们
I'm sorry, guys.
JP挺不错的
JP was one of the good ones, too.
年轻时都没当过纳粹
Wasn't even a Nazi in his youth.
我觉得教宗应该不会选择在屎里显现
I'm-- I'm just not sure a pope would choose to appear in shit.
他更可能选择机油或松饼吧
Wouldn't he pick, like, motor oil or pancakes?
我真能看出他的脸
Honestly, I see his face.
那我们回头见了教宗先生
Maybe I'll see you later, Mr. Pope,
因为只有我能看见
since... I guess I'm the only one who can.
大道五号♥
第一季第七集
24小时后
就像《圣经》的截屏
It's like a screenshot from the Bible.
这老哥什么时候出现
So, when does this, uh, Caca Papa appear?
随时可能 90分钟一循环
Any second now. It's every 90 minutes.
嗯你可以靠它调表
Yeah. You can set your watch by it.
但我更喜欢用船上时间...
Although I prefer to use the onboard time--
他来了保佑你
Ah, there he is. Bless you.
我真想吻他的戒指
I wish I could kiss his ring.
你看到了吗比莉
Can you see it, Billie?
向野蛮堕落的过程吗看到了
The descent into barbarism? Yeah, I can see that clearly.
教宗没有
The pope, I do not see.
我也没看到
No, I don't see it either.
但我能看到他的脸
But I can see the joy
给他们的脸带来的愉悦
that his face puts on their faces.
我不懂
I don't understand.
愉悦是一种人类情感
Joy. It's a-- it's a human emotion.
以前很流行的
Used to be quite popular.
就那里那是耳朵吗
That right there, is that an ear?
不那是坨屎
No, it's a piece of shit.
只要它能让人们
As long as it keeps people
不会去我床上杀了我我就开心了
from murdering me in my bed, I'll be happy.
老天爷给我让开
For fuck's sake, get out of my way.
-爱瑞丝 -不是每个人都开心
- Iris. - It's not making everyone happy.
是哈里森
It's Harrison.
-让开一群狂热教♥徒♥ -快走
- Get out of my way, you bunch of brides of Christ. - Let's go.
-什么谁...怎么了 -滚开
- What-- Who-- What is-- Who? - Fuck off!
-哈里森是谁 -哈里森
- Who is Harrison? - Harrison. Harrison.
那是一个我不怕的人
Oh, that's just somebody that I'm not scared of.
我们为什么不谈谈别的别谈他
Why don't we talk about something else and not that guy
因为谁在乎他啊我不在乎
'cause, honestly... ...who cares about him? Not me.
船长
Oh, hi, Captain.
你好迈克你好吗
Hey there, Mike. How are you doing?
-挺好 -我没忘记哈里森的事
- Good, good - I have not forgotten about Harrison.
老天爷
Jesus Christ.
我刚听说我今晚要跟你同桌
I just heard I'm gonna be at your table tonight.
像我要求的那样
What, with an apple in your mouth
嘴里叼着苹果乳♥头♥夹着菠萝环吗
and pineapple nipple rings like I requested?
我开玩笑的芭芭拉也来吗
Ah, just kidding. Is Barbara gonna be with you?
当然先生她可期待了
Oh, yes, sir. She's very excited about it.
-我也是等不及了回头见 -好
- Me too. Can't wait. See you later. - Okay.
我要了解更多哈里森的事
I want to hear more about Harrison.
我要了解更多芭芭拉的事你喜欢这样吗
I wanna know about Barbara. How do you like that?
-你有什么感觉 -芭芭拉是我妻子
- How does that make you feel? - Barbara's my wife.
我没问你真是你妻子吗
I didn't ask you. She is, though?
-是的 -这我可没预料到
- Yes, she is. - I didn't see that coming.
-哈里森是谁 -与你无关谢谢你分享了
- Who's Harrison? - No. Thank you for sharing...
-你妻子的事 -故事很棒
- about your wife. - It's a great story.
祝你好运希望她感觉好点了
Good luck. I hope she feels better.
贾德超淡啤
Judd Very Light Beer.
入口不错流出身体时很痛苦
It hurts less on the way in than it does on the way out.
感觉就像是在尿火
It feels like you're peeing actual fire.
我们早晚会见证他自杀对吧
We're gonna see that guy's suicide, aren't we?
是的不过事发之后我们都要告诉人事部
Sure. But when it happens, we all tell HR
-事先没有任何征兆 -明白
- there were no warning signs. - Got it.
我感觉他刚出生的那几年
I have the feeling that he might have spent
可能都被锁在小破屋里
the first couple of years of his life locked in a shed.
-法德 -爱瑞丝
- Fudd! - Iris!
等等这就是哈里森
Wait! Is this Harrison?
你没有人身危险
You're in no physical danger.
除非他先请我吃晚餐
Well, not unless he buys me dinner first.
爱瑞丝他在暗示奇怪的性暴♥力♥
Iris, he's making weird sexual violent innuendo
-我听不太懂 -法德
- I don't fully understand. - Fudd.
贾德你知道我叫贾德
Judd. You know my name is Judd.
闭嘴法德你这个瑟瑟发抖的骗子
Silence, Fudd, you quivering sack of fraud.
你给我解释一下为什么头等舱走廊...
And you explain to me why the first-class hallway...
-你能阻止这个吗 -没问题
- Can you stop this? - Absolutely.
到处都是低等舱乘客
...is teeming with tenth-class passengers
-嘴里嘟囔着死去的教宗 -快点啊
- bleating about a dead pope? - Well?
通讯什么时候恢复
Now, when are comms back on?
-你是说现在吗 -那个
- Oh, you mean now? - Well...
我需要一点信息这个人是谁
I'm gonna need some information. Who-- Who is this guy?
哈里森·艾姆斯非常可怕爱打官司
Harrison Ames is an awful and awfully litigious man
资产后面的零你都数不过来
with more trillions than you have nostrils.
三万亿他有三万亿
Three. He has three trillion.
-因为你在害我赔钱混♥蛋♥ -好吧
- Because you're costing me money, you hairball. - Okay.
哈里森·艾姆斯先生
Mr. Harrison Ames!
我是瑞恩·克拉克船长
Captain Ryan Clark.
你握手的力度不错啊船长
Well, that's quite a grip you got there, Captain.
我对待工作像对待握手一样
Well, I treat handshakes the way I treat my job.
我喜欢压力
I like pressure.
没错压力创造钻石
Oh, yes. Well, pressure... creates diamonds.
那这就是25克拉的握手
Then consider this a 25-carat shake.