第五大道

Avenue 5 S01E05

Part 4 March 19, 2020, 9:26 a.m.

-克拉克船长是性♥欲♥狂 -禽兽不如
- Captain Clark is a sex man? - He's a dog.
管他呢我们来跳康茄舞吧
Hey, fuck it. Shall we start a conga?
我们来跳康茄舞
Let's do a conga.
来吧弗兰克
Frank, come on.
来吧
Allez.
♪ 他不会按按钮 ♪
♪ He cannot press a button ♪
♪ 他不会按按钮 ♪
♪ He cannot press a button ♪
我们快离开这好了
Come on, let's get outta here. Okay!
-♪ 他总是搞砸 ♪ -♪ 搞砸 ♪
- ♪ He always fucks it up? ♪ - ♪ Fucks it up! ♪
看啊
Oh, check it out.
这么久了终于有人笑了
Uh, first person that's laughed in quite some time.
你想去我房♥间吗
Hey, you wanna come back to my place?
行啊能打一炮是一炮
Sure, yeah, I'll take it where I can get it.
-旱道湿道都一样 -不了谢谢
- A hole's a hole. - Oh... No, thank you.
我有个飞行模拟游戏
I-- I have a flight simulation game
我很乐意和你一起玩荣幸之至先生
I would love to play with you. Be an honor, sir.
好吧我把性♥交♥舱门盖好
Oh, okay, well, I'll batten down the sexual hatches.
我们来开飞船吧
Let's fly some ships.
你们还记得
So, um... Do you remember the, uh,
必须插♥进♥电源才能充电的手♥机♥吗
the phones that you had to plug in to charge?
我记得
Yes, I do.
是的它们
Yeah, well, they...
它们
They were, um...
不行忘词了
No. No, that one's gone.
再想想
Just give it a second.
讲出来也许能火呢
'Cause this could be good when you think of it.
-它们有电线 -它们有电线是的
- They had a cord. - They had a cord, yeah.
不过我觉得哏不是这个
I don't think that was the punchline, though.
哏是本集开头的plug the beer
推销啤酒
Promote the beer.
你或许能从我们的表情中看出
You can probably tell from our expressions that, uh...
-我们需要面对面谈谈 -不不你怎么先说了
- we need to talk face-to-face. - Oh, no, no, no. You're talking.
你应该不
You should-- no.
我打给你的所以你应该等我说
'Cause I called you, so you should really wait.
-无所谓没关系 -瑞安我们有事想跟你说
- Anyway, doesn't matter. - Ryan, we have to tell you something.
-我知道太惊心动魄了 -不算是坏事
- I know, it was impressive-- - Now, it's not bad.
等等什么叫"坏事"
Wait-- What-- What do you mean, "bad"?
我们爱你但是
We love you, but...
我们结婚时没想过要等三年半
we didn't sign up for three and a half years, and...
-还有那疯狂的太空行走 -对
- with that crazy spacewalk... - Ah, yes.
-我们没办法 -可以说你们眼前是个英雄
- we can't-- - You're looking at a hero, basically.
-我们受不了这种压力 -受不了什么
- We can't take the stress. - The wh-- what?
你人不在这儿自然没你的位置
You lose the plot, you lose your slot.
"位置" 这是婚姻不是壁球室
"Slot"? This is a marriage, not a fucking squash court.
我们要跟你离婚
We're getting trivorced.
以二比一的多数票通过
Two-thirds majority. Motion carried.
-那我们的誓言呢 "手牵手牵手" -抱歉
- What about our vows? "Hand in hand in hand"? - No, sorry.
我一口气喝了一瓶然后吐到了
And then I downed it in one and I threw up on...
她的裙子上
uh, on her dress, and...
毕业舞会
That was the end of...
就这样结束了
end of prom and, um...
那是我第一次喝酒
that's the first time I had a drink.
当时喝的是贾德淡啤
but it was a Judd Light,
贾德淡啤在全船各处有售
and Judd Light is available throughout the ship.
堪称瓶装派对
It's, a-- a liquid party.
我住这里
I'm right in here.
你干什么
What are you doing?
-你说什么 -只是回我的房♥间
- What? - Just going in my room.
-你怎么在这里 -这是我的房♥间
- Why are you here? - It's my room.
如果你想哄我们玩4P的话
If you're trying to trick us into a foursome,
其实你不需要哄
there's no tricking needed.
这不是4P 是2P
This isn't a foursome, it's a twosome.
-我无所谓 -你们先待着
- I'm easy. - You guys stay here.
你怎么把"泥炭沼男"带来了
Why'd you bring the peat bog man?
我们打算玩飞行模拟游戏
We're going on my flight simulator.
你得把房♥间腾出来
Well, you need to vacate the room
我要在这里每个角落做♥爱♥
because I'll be making love everywhere.
我们可以去你的房♥间
Hey, yeah, we could-- we could go to yours.
-我能把它当备选方案吗 -没问题
- Can I keep that as a backup? - Oh, sure, yeah.
给他们点时间看什么结果
Give 'em a minute, see what pans out.
科林·坚挺你进来
Colin Firm, get in here!
什么
What?
抱歉道格观景廊关了
Sorry, Doug, the viewing gallery is closed.
来吧我们快点做
Come on. Let's just do it quickly.
-不 -不不不
- No... - No, no, no.
-动作要快在他 -搞起来
- Just do it quickly, before he-- - Do it!
-管他呢 -不我
- Who cares about him? - No no, I--
-搞起来搞起来 -你想要你想要的
- Do it! Do it! - You want it, you want it.
别跟个娘们似的科林
Don't be a pussy, Colin!
对不起我没有受过这方面训练对不起
I'm sorry-- I wasn't trained for this, I'm sorry.
这让我想起了我在
This reminds me of my last days
国际空间站最后的时光
on the International Space Station.
场面壮观
That was a scene!
我毁了她的艳遇
I ruined it for her.
我赢了
So I won.
我上一段感情关系没有善终
So, my last relationship didn't end well.
某种程度上也可以说有善终
Uh, but-- Well, in some ways you could say it did.
well一词多义
因为我当时的女友掉井里了
'Cause my girlfriend fell down a well.
重力真让人扫兴
Gravity, what a downer.
不不不不行
No, no, no, no. Uh-uh. No. No.
大家欢迎贾德先生
Hey, it's Mr. Judd, everyone.
不先别鼓掌
No, hold your applause.
那次重力失效死了四个人
Four people died because of that gravity fail.
别拿那种事开玩笑
Don't joke about stuff like that.
也许你女友就是因为这个才跳井了
Maybe that's why your girlfriend jumped down that well,
因为这种没品的笑话
'cause of those kind of jokes.
她没有她只是离开了我
She didn't, she just left me--
我等会本来想说几句
I was gonna say a few words later,
但现在这玩意
but now that "Uhhh"
抽走了这里所有的正能量
sucked all the good energy out of the room and just...
像那啥一样冲到太空里去了
flushed it out into space like...
我现在只能硬读稿子了
I'm just gonna read it now.
"如你们所知现在本来应该是旅程的中点
"As you know, this was meant to be the halfway point,
但我们并没有到达中点
but we're not halfway.
然而各种意义上的来说
And yet, in so many ways,
我们已经远远超越了中点"
we're more... ...than halfway."
-爱瑞丝这是谁写的 -我写的
- Iris, who wrote this? - I did.
这篇东西从头到尾都是这样吗
And is it like this all the way through,
还是后面会好一点
or does it get any better?
刚才那段就是精华了但你好像很嫌弃
Well, that was the best part, and you kind of threw it away.
我去
Fuck!
好吧 "因为我们已经行进了如此之远
All right. "Because we've come a long way,
我为你们感到骄傲
and I'm proud of you
当然还有我自己
and of me,
我也受到你我共同的鼓舞"
and I'm inspired by you and me."
我直接跳到结尾好了
I'm just gonna skip to the end.
-行 -好的
- Yep. - All right.
"我们能做到我们快到了
"We can do this! We're nearly there!
离得还远呢但是快到了"
We're not, but we are!"
出租车
以前去过水牛城吗
Ever been to Buffalo before?
那里变化很大
It's changed a lot
自从白宫搬过去之后
since they moved the White House there.
-首先 -闭嘴
- For a start - Shut up.
艾伦最好不是坏消息我...
Alan, this better not be bad news. I--
这他妈是什么鬼
What the fuck is that?
恐怕有些废物残渣
I'm afraid some of the, uh, residual matter
没能脱离飞船的引力
hasn't escaped the ship's gravitational pull.
好吧
Okay. Well...
这是个屎环
It's a ring of shit.
什么屎环