第五大道

Avenue 5 S01E05

Part 5 March 19, 2020, 9:26 a.m.

A ring of shit?
你就...看你的书行吗
Could you just--? Back to the book.
好消息是这下看不到棺材了
On the upside, you can't see the coffins anymore.
不看到了一个
Oh, no. There's one.
准备假装我们还有十分钟就到达半程了
Get ready to pretend we're ten minutes to halfway there.
-能再给我来一杯吗 -好的
- Could I get another one of those? - Sure.
比莉永远不要向任何人表露你的情感
Billie, don't ever, ever show anyone your feelings.
好吗将它们埋藏到最深处
All right? Just bury them as deep as you can.
揉成一个小球
Scrunch them up into a little tiny ball
然后就...
and then just...
想铭记于心的话就长几个溃疡
Grow a couple of ulcers if you wanna mark the spot,
其他时候就微笑假装什么也没有发生
but otherwise, just smile, pretend everything's fine.
-你是个不快乐的酒鬼 -我这个人就不快乐
- You're not a happy drunk. - I'm not a happy anything.
-你真牛 -你好
- You the man! - Hi, there.
为什么那些屎还在外面
Is it-- Why is the shit still outside there?
爱瑞丝
Iris!
屎越来越厚了
It's getting thicker.
我们正在处理
We're-- We're working on it.
以上就是贾德先生的致辞请鼓掌
All right, that's Mr. Judd, everybody. Give it up.
-派对开始了 -我知道开始了
- Yeah, it's on. - I know it's on...
你得赔偿我们
You're gonna have to compensate us for this.
这都是你的错
This is your fault.
这是弗兰克的错
I mean, it's Frank's fault.
是他按了棕色的大按钮
He hit the big brown button.
没错应该说搞砸了屎按钮
Yeah. You mean, shit the button.
瞧见了吗伙计这才叫喜剧
See, that's comedy, man.
刚刚那才叫喜剧一语双关
That right there is comedy, word play.
我太爱了
I love it.
弗兰克如果我去你房♥间外面
Hey, Frank, what if I came and took a shit
拉一泡屎你觉得如何
outside of your room?
屎已经在我房♥间外面了
The shit is already outside my room.
好吧那我就去你房♥间里面拉泡屎
Okay. Then I'll come take a shit inside your room.
我会付清洁费的这样明天你还能再拉一次
I'll pay for the cleanup, so you can do it again tomorrow.
我们应该把弗兰克扔出气闸
We should shit Frank out the airlock.
如果你不经我同意和参与就伤害他的话
You hurt him without my consent and involvement
我会让你好看
and I will harm you deeply.
扔他出去
Shit. Him. Out.
扔他出去没错
Shit him out! Yeah.
扔他出去扔他出去
Shit him out! Shit him out!
-扔他出去 -拜托伙计们冷静点
- Shit him out! - Guys, come on, calm down.
-扔他出去扔他出去 -有谁记得上届奥斯卡
- Shit him out! Shit him out! - Hey, who remembers the last Oscars?
那才是真的"屎" 不是吗
That was a real shitshow, wasn't it?
他们把奖颁给了一只麻雀
They gave an award to a sparrow.
你可以...
Do you have...
你可以吹哨子控制他吗
Do you have a whistle you can blow to keep him under control?
-扔他出去 -他变成这样的时候
- Shit him out! - When he gets like this,
最好让他把自己累垮
it's best to just let him wear himself out.
安保把他扔出去
Security! Shit him the shit...
好了好了我知道你们...
All right, all right, I understand you're--
在我揍你之前
You need to shut the F up
你♥他♥妈♥最好闭嘴弗兰克
before I knock you the F-- Frank!
-弗兰克 -扔他出去
- Frank! - Shit him out!
-弗兰克弗兰克 -扔他出去扔他出去
- Frank! Frank! - Shit him out! Shit him out!
弗兰克弗兰克
Frank! Frank!
把他放下他是我丈夫
Put him down, he's mine!
-快停下别杀人 -弗兰克
- No! Stop murdering someone! - Frank!
快做点什么
Do something!
我想好的一面是...终于解脱了
Well, I guess things are looking up for-- Oh, thank fuck.
冷静这话怎么强调都不为过
Calm... and I cannot stress this enough...
都他妈给我冷静
the fuck down!
贾德先生不是真的要把谁扔出去
Mr. Judd did not mean shit anybody out.
他刚刚只是在开玩笑
He was making a joke.
是的没错
Yeah. Yeah.
你们这群家伙不懂喜剧
You guys don't understand comedy.
我才懂
I do.
我刚刚说的那是喜剧傻瓜
What I did back there, that was comedy. Idiots.
请容我夸一句刚刚的喜剧表演
Uh... right, and the comedy was, may I say,
相当精彩完全不像这个家伙...
exquisitely performed, unlike this guy, who...
我想他小时候大概被笑话虐待过
I assume was abused by a punchline when he was a kid.
-别这样说 -正在实施他对喜剧的报复
- Oh, come on! - Taking his revenge--
介意我打断吗救救他
Do you mind? Please!
好了安保我们能把弗兰克带回来吗
Okay, security, can we-- can we bring Frank back down?
好吗我们把弗兰克带回来吧
Right? Let's bring-- Let's bring Frank back down.
谢天谢地
Oh, thank God.
谢谢你们
Thank you.
还有我们能把他摆直吗
And can we, uh, render him vertical?
现在好了
There we go.
你们知道现在什么能让我们摆脱困境吗
Okay. Now, do you know what's gonna get us out of this?
一艘大火箭
A big rocket?
不是
Uh, no.
好吧应该也是可以的
That-- Well, yes, that would be...
这么说我们有两个方法可以摆脱困境
Okay, there's two ways we can get out of this.
瑞恩船长救了你一命
Captain Ryan saved you, okay?
所以你应该给他来个友好的握手示意
So you just owe him a big handshake.
-上去吧直接上去 -团队合作
- Go on. Go ahead. - Teamwork.
我们这个团队齐心协力好吗
We together as a team. All right?
就像埃及人建造金字塔一样
Like the Egyptians building the pyramids.
我们可以成为
We can be like... bricks
墨西哥宫殿的一块块砖石
in one of those Mexican palaces
随着台阶向上我们互相支持往上攀登
with the steps up the side, we climb the steps--
弗兰克
Frank!
你离我老婆远点你个色狼
You stay away from my wife, you jackal!
不然我和我老婆会让你有得消受
Or you will have me and my wife to deal with!
懂了吗高领船长
Got it? Captain Turtleneck?
-弗兰克 -亲爱的
- Frank! - Honey--
那么做不对很性感但是不对
That was wrong. Hot, but wrong.
还有十秒就是我们的"半程"时刻了
We're ten seconds from Halfway Home.
很有趣不是吗
So, uh...it's funny, isn't it?
-它叫"升运机" -十九
- You call them "elevators". - Ten. Nine...
但它不止会升
Uh, but they just don't elevate.
-还会降 -八七
- They also... lower. - Eight. Seven.
零
And zero!
旅程过半啦
We're halfway home!
燥起来让地球上的人都听到我们的派对
Let's party so loud, they hear us back on Earth.
谁扔的你个傻屌♥死定了
Who threw that? You are dead man.
也可以是女性我们不要性别歧视
All right, or woman, let's not be sexist.
不过实际上他就是个男性
But actually, no, it was-- it was a man.
他在那里
It was him there.
不是这个是那个
Not him. Him!
-这都赖你 -什么
- This is all on you. - What?
你就只有这一个职责
You have one job.
应该吧我不清楚你到底是干什么的
I expect. I'm not sure exactly what you do.
我救了所有人所以我认为你该说的话
I saved everybody, so I think the words you're looking for
是"谢谢你比莉" 还有
are "thank you, Billie"
"很抱歉我是个冷血婊♥子♥"
and "I'm sorry I've got a rod up my metal ass."
我真希望这群跳康茄舞的人踩死你
I hope you're trampled by this conga line--
爱瑞丝我要回船舱找蛋白质球和枪了
Iris, I'll be in my cabin with a protein ball and a gun.
-好的贾德先生 -爱瑞丝
-Yes, Mr. Judd - Iris!
我听到了
I heard you!
我的表演时间结束了
Well, I think that's my time.
非常感谢大家
So thanks for coming, everyone,
前来欣赏全宇宙最搞笑的人表演
to see the funniest man in the universe.
乔丹·哈特瓦
全宇宙最搞笑的人
也就是我万一你们不清楚
That's me, in case it wasn't clear.
我想只要我们团结一致一切都会好起来的
I think everything will be okay if we just stick together.
历史上所有灭绝的物种都是这么想的
Worked for every extinct species in history.
真是疯狂的一夜不是吗
What a crazy night, right?
咚咚咚
Knock, knock.
咚咚咚
Knock, knock.
水牛城白宫
这些人是
These-- These people are...