把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E03

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:25 p.m.

Why are you here? Okay, you're kind of killing my game.
你为啥在这里简直扼杀了我的妙计
What game?
什么妙计
You just invite Nicki over every week
你只是每周邀请尼基过来
to watch "Mad men."
看《广♥告♥狂人》
Uh, I also make banana bread, okay?
我还做香蕉面包的好吗
And this week, I put in some chocolate chips,
这周我加了一些巧克力屑
so I think my game is pretty airtight.
我觉得我的妙计无懈可击
Whatever, baby bird.
随便啦小小鸟
See you, Nicki. I got to go meet someone.
回头见尼基我得去和人见面
Have fun with your friend.
跟你的朋友玩得开心哦
Oh, it's not a friend. It's a girl.
不是我朋友是个女孩
You don't have any girls that are friends?
你没有女性朋友吗
Oh, you're not joking. Uh...
你不是开玩笑啊
Single guys can't be friends with girls.
单身汉不能和姑娘们做朋友
Discuss.
你们讨论吧
Hey, uh, save me some of that banana bread.
给我留点香蕉面包
Oh, by the way, I know I said that sarcastically
顺便说一句我知道我是讽刺着说的
with a laugh at the end, but, really, it sounds delicious.
最后还放声大笑了但是真的听起来很好吃
I'd like some later.
等会儿我想吃
What a jerk.
真是个混♥蛋♥
Are you really mad? Well, I ju look.
你真生气了吗我只是...
I got my boobs in fourth grade,
四年级我就有这对美胸了
so I've had years of people talking to me
所以多年来都有人们跟我聊天
like they're interested in me for me,
像是对我这个人感兴趣一样
when really they're just staring at my chest.
而他们只是盯着我的胸部看
Go on.
继续吧
Why can't anybody
为什么不能有人
just be interested in me for me, you know?
对我这个人感兴趣呢
Oh, my god.
天啊
It's been you this whole time.
一直以来都是你
Y-you're the answer.
你就是答案
To what?
什么答案
You are my proof that Danny is wrong!
你证明了丹尼是错的
I mean, seriously,
我是说真的
I could probably be pretty wasted
我可能会烂醉如泥
and just be all over you like, "Oh, my god, Justin,
然后靠在你身上说天啊贾斯丁
just, like, kiss me and, like, touch me, like, now."
吻我摸我快点
You know? And you wouldn't do anything
知道吗而你什么也不会做
because you're my friend, right?
因为你是我的朋友对吗
Yeah, no. Yeah, no.
是啊不是是啊不是
No, I'm -- I'm your friend.
不是我是你的朋友
All right.
好吧
Are you flexing? No.
你肌肉在收缩吗没有
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
好了我们走吧快点
Okay. We are going.
好吧我们走
**We are best friends*
*我们是最好的朋友
No. Never, ever do that again.
以后千万不要再那样做了
Oh, hello.
你好啊
Thank you for ruining my date with Nicki last night.
谢谢你昨晚毁了我和尼基的约会
It wasn't a date, and heads up, baby bird.
那才不是约会注意了小小鸟
What is that? What are you doing?
那是什么你在干啥
It's a piece of advice.
这是一条建议
Sometimes I like to toss them out like gifts.
有时我喜欢像扔礼物一样扔它们
Hey, Brett. Keep being British. It works for you.
布雷特继续说英国腔吗适合你
Cheerio, mate. How's your father?
好呀哥们你爹好吗
I'm a cockney. David Beckham.
我是伦敦人大卫·贝克汉姆
Hey, Bursk, stop being so obnoxious around women.
伯斯科在女人身边别那么讨厌
This one's for them ugly bitches.
我是在丑货面前才这样的
You need to read it again.
你得再读一遍
Your turn, bro.
该你了哥们
All right, man.
好吧哥们
You need to make a move like now, okay?
你现在就得采取行动好吗
Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck
不然你就一直
in the friend zone with Nicki forever.
待在尼基的朋友圈里
Uh, google news alert --
谷歌♥新闻警报
I'm not in the friend zone with Nicki, okay?
我才不在尼基的朋友圈里好吗
Let's try Siri. Ting.
问问Siri吧叮
Siri, am I in the friend zone with Nicki?
Siri 我在尼基的朋友圈里吗
"No, Justin. Your eyes are ocean blue.
不贾斯丁你的眼睛是海洋蓝色的
That's impossible. L.O.L."
那不可能哈哈哈
Come on. Let's be honest, mate.
拜托诚实点吧
This isn't your first trip to the friend zone, is it?
这不是你第一次进驻朋友圈对吧
Heather Flanders -- college?
大学里的希瑟·弗兰德斯
I was not in the friend zone with Heather Flanders, okay?
我才不在希瑟·弗兰德斯的朋友圈好吗
She thought I was gay.
她觉得我是基佬
World's worst brag.
世界上最烂的吹嘘
So, Danny, when you're in the friend zone, what do you do?
丹尼你在朋友圈时要怎么做
You know, I have a move that works every single time.
我有一招例无虚发
Never fails -- I just throw her on the back of my bike,
从不失败我骑着摩托车载她
and I take her for a ride.
出去溜一圈
I give her my helmet, so she knows I can protect her.
我把头盔给她这样她就知道我能保护她
Added bonus --
额外好处
I also look awesome with the wind in my hair.
我的头发在风中飞舞看起来超帅
I speed up, you know? And she's all like, "Slow down!"
我会加速然后她会说慢点
But I'm like, "Sweetheart, I can't
但是我说亲爱的不行
'cause the adrenaline's pumpin' too hard."
因为肾上腺素激增
So, then I just, like, lean back into her,
所以我就往她身上靠过去
and she grips my hips.
她抓住了我的屁♥股♥
Siri, did that work? Ding!
Siri 那管用吗叮
Game over.
游戏结束
You don't even have a move. You kidding me?
你都没有招儿你开玩笑嘛
I do the whole "Cover her eyes from behind game."
我有"从背后捂住她眼睛"的招数
Then I pull away. "Look at that. What is that?
然后我松开手瞧瞧那个那是什么
"An eyelash? Oh, go ahead, girl.
眼睫毛吗来吧妹子
Make a wish, 'cause mine's about to come true."
许个愿因为我的愿望要成真了
All right, what if there's no eyelash?
好吧如果没有掉眼睫毛呢
There's always an eyelash
总会有一根的
because I pluck one of my own before going in.
因为我出招之前拔了自己的
That's what I'm talking about!
就是这样
Right! Yes! Suck it, bears!
好棒去死吧熊队
You're missing a great game, bro.
你错过了一场精彩的比赛哥们
God, immediately we give the ball back.
天啊我们立马就失球了
It's like everything associated with the word "Detroit" has to suck.
就像和"底特律"有关的一切都烂透了
Don't do it. Don't say it.
别这样别说出来
Shut up! Shut up! It's embarrassing.
闭嘴闭嘴很丢人啊
You know, it's a joke of a team for a joke of a city.
那是搞笑之城的搞笑球队
I will not sit here while you talk about Detroit that way!
我不会坐在这里听你这样说底特律
She is a beautiful lady with an ample bosom,
她是个美女胸部丰满
and I love her!
我爱她
I was born here, and I plan to die here.
我在这里出生也打算在这里死去
Good day, ma'am.
日安女士
What just happened?
刚怎么回事
It's his code.
那是他的规定
Trash talk Detroit, you're dead to him.
敢说底特律的坏话在他看来你就是个死人
How was I supposed to know that?
我怎么会知道啊
Every article of clothing he has has the word "Detroit" on it.
他穿的每一件衣服上面都有"底特律"
Shelly.
谢利
We're cool, right?
我们没事吧
My lucky bobblehead can't even look at you.
我的幸运摇头娃娃都不想看你
I'm proud of you for not spitting in her face.
你没往她脸上吐唾沫我真为你骄傲
Guess who.
猜猜是谁
It stings! What? Oh, it's lime juice. God! Ow! Oh, god!
好痛是什么是酸橙汁天啊
This wine cloth! Here, here! Yeah.
擦酒布给给好
There's lime juice on the towel!
毛巾上也有酸橙汁
Aw, I'm sorry. Uh, here, take this water.
对不起这里有杯水
That's actually lime juice.
那其实是酸橙汁
Why are there so many lime products back here?!
这里为啥有这么多酸橙产品
I'm I'm sorry. It's okay.
对不起没关系
I'm sorry.
对不起
But, hey, I-I think you got a --
我觉得你有...