把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E12

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:28 p.m.

Bursk, I swear it wasn't even that fun.
别再撒谎了布雷特
Stop lying, Brett.
好吧那是我人生中最美好的一晚
Okay. It was the best night of my life.
你们可以直接告诉我不想让我去的
You guys could have just told me you didn't want me to come.
你们一直打击我
You bust my balls all the time,
我是这个群体中的小可爱
But I'm the lovable one in this group.
我就像个小狗狗一样
I'm like a puppy.
我就像个可爱的小狗狗你们却踢了我
I'm a lovable puppy, and you kick me.
你们是踢狗狂
You're puppy kickers.
莱丝莉我们走吧
Leslie, we're leaving.
不走吗
No?
好吧
Okay.
你们让我觉得伯斯科好可怜
You actually made me feel sorry for Burski.
昨晚值得吗
Was it worth it?
我打算用一张我贴在网上的照片来回答你这个问题
I will answer that question by showing you an instagram picture
内容是我跟一个十分帅气的基佬搞"背背山"
of me getting a piggyback ride from a very attractive gay man.
布雷特如果你们是面对着对方就不叫"背背山"
Brett, it's not a piggyback ride if you're facing each other.
#超值得#
#worthit!#
小小鸟听着我想说些话
Hey, baby bird, look, I'm gonna say something
会让我感觉十分愧疚
that's gonna make myself feel very bad,
我希望你不要表现出很开心的样子好吗
So I want you to try and not be happy about it, okay?
我运营不好酒吧
I can't run the bar.
好吧好吧
Okay, all right, okay.
我这么叫有点太过了
The "Whoo" is a little much.
听着我不知道怎么
Look, I just -- I don't know
把顾客吸引到酒吧来
how to get people in the bar, all right?
整晚只有两个顾客
There's only two people in there,
就连那两个人我都负责不了
and even that's too many for me to handle.
能请你回来吗
Will you -- please come back.
当然可以了
Of course, okay?
贾斯丁飞来拯救
Justin to the rescue.
我刚刚是说两个人吗
Did I say two people?
我的意思是一百个哦
I meant a hundred.
但你也知道我一见到数字就发懵
But as you know, I'm not very good with numbers!
也就三小时而已
It's been like three hours.
你是怎么吸引到这么多人来的
How did you get so many people here?
我也不想夸大这事
Uh, look I don't want to overstate this,
但在很多方面我都是宇宙的中心
but in many ways, I'm like the center of the universe.
那是两个男人在接吻吗
Are those two guys kissing?
我把它变成了一家Gay吧
Oh, so I turned it into a gay bar.
仅仅每周天而已 "天基日"
Sundays only -- well, sun-gays only.
他其实挺聪明的
He was actually smart.
戴安娜·罗斯之前在摩城博物馆搞签售
Diana Ross was signing autographs at the motown museum.
他跑过去给每位穿紧身V领衫的男人
He went down and passed out two-for-one drink fliers
发了一张"买♥♥♥一♥送♥一♥"的传♥单♥
to anyone wearing a tight v-neck.
我们肯定是恰好错过了对方
Well, we must've just missed each other.
你知道吗
You know what?
现在唯一的问题是让布雷特专心工作
The only problem now is trying to keep Brett focused on work.
腹肌棒棒的波多黎各人有免费酒喝啦
Free shot to any Puerto rican with amazing abs!
上帝保佑你丹尼·伯顿
God bless you, Danny Burton.
为什么无论基佬们去哪儿
How come wherever gay guys go,
有魅力的单身女性都会跟着
attractive, single women seem to follow?
她们觉得可以出去玩一夜
Well, they think they're gonna get a night out
而不用被搭讪
without getting hit on.
那她们可真是大错特错
Oh, they are sorely mistaken.
我真高兴看到大家都玩得很开心
I'm just glad to see everybody's having fun.
我也很高兴你很高兴
Well, I'm glad you're glad,
因为如果你看到你的酒吧满是会付钱的顾客
because the only reason that you wouldn't be glad
而不高兴那唯一的原因就是
to see your bar full of paying customers
你心里不爽
would be if it bothered you
那个召集你的朋友们凑钱给你的人
that the guy who got your friends to give you money
找到了个新方法让你赚更多的钱
found another way to make you even more money,
心胸狭隘的人就是会这么觉得呢
And that's only something a very petty person would ever feel!
所以我很高兴真的
That's why I'm glad. I'm glad.
好了我要去我的办公室了
Okay, I'm gonna go to my office.
是我们的办公室
Our office.
好吧
Okay.
谢你了塞布丽娜
Thank you, Sabrina.
怎么会有这么多男人啊
What's up with all the dongs, dude?
实际上丹尼把周日之夜变成了...
Actually, Danny made Sunday nights into sun--
我不是在跟你说话布雷特
Oh, I'm not talking to you, Brett.
嘿谢利被骗了吧
Hey, Shelly -- psyche.
我也不跟你说话兄弟
Not talking to you either, dude.
莱丝莉酒杯不错是怎么回事
Leslie, nice cans. What's going on?
我刚跟一个性感基佬说我以前是个男人
I just told a hot gay guy that I used to be a dude.
你们昨晚撇开伯斯科真的很不够意思
Look, you guys, ditching Burski last night was not cool.
他们就是不明白丹尼像你和我这种人
They just don't get it, Danny. Guys like you and me --
行了我打算就此打断你
All right, look, I'm gonna stop you right there
因为任何句子这样开头都不是好兆头
because no sentence should ever start that way.
对了你知道你一开口
Hey, you know that when you speak,
就会把单身的人逼走吧
you drive single people away, right?
当然了
Of course.
好吧如果我告诉你们
Okay, well, what if I told you that
那让伯斯科成为最佳泡妞搭档呢
that's what makes Burski the ultimate wingman?
那我会说你疯了脑子不好使了
I would say you're mad -- simply insane!
伯斯科你看到那边的单身派对了吗
Bursk, you see that bachelorette party over there?
过去吧做真实的自己就好
All right, go over there and be yourself.
听着每个群体都有一个伯斯科
All right, look, every group has a Burski.
你们必须学会利用你们的伯斯科
You just have to find out how to use your Burski, okay?
瞧他过去了看到了吗
Now, see? Look. He's in, all right?
那个姑娘胸很大
Now, that girl has a large chest,
我预计他马上就要开始"汽船"模式了
So I'm assuming that Burski will bring up motorboating
倒数三二
in 3, 2...
她们四散而逃
And they explode, all right?
但姑娘们都是群体动物
But girls are like pack animals.
她们散开以后都迫切地想要重新聚成群体
After they scatter, they're desperate to regroup,
她们会在距离伯斯科最远的地方凝聚
And they'll do that at the furthest point from Burski,
恰好就是此时此地
which happens to be now right here.
姑娘们这是谢利
Hey, girls. This is Shelly.
他就像个人体沙发一样
He's like a human couch.
你们怎么舒服怎么来
Make yourselves comfortable.
跟我来吧
Follow me.
这一招对男人们也适用吗
Does this work for guys, too?
你们喜欢屁♥股♥吗
You guys like butts?
敬丹尼
Hey, to Danny!
如果我们还要继续举办基佬之夜的话
Look, if we're gonna keep having gay night,
那我们得定下个规矩
then we have to make a rule --
不准在男厕所和客人们乱搞
No hooking up with customers in the men's room.
布雷特
Brett...
他是在说我我想怎么样就怎么样
He was talking to me, and I'll do what I want.
如果我们继续赚这么多的钱
You know, if we keep on making this kind of cash,
你们可以给我们买♥♥带牙科的医保项目了
you could give us a healthcare plan with dental!
就一个晚上不错而已我说还是继续剔牙吧
It's one good night. I'd keep flossing.
不错而已那可是史上最棒的晚上
Good night? That was like the best night ever.
你必须考虑到相关的后果好吗
But you have to think about the consequences, all right?
没钱没问题
Mo money, mo problems.
我真不敢相信我把这事做成了
I can't believe that you're seriously bummed out
你这么不爽
because I pulled this off.
我没有我很开心
I'm not. I'm happy!
你看上去不像很开心啊
Y-you don't look happy.
很多人开心的时候看上去很愤怒
A lot of people look angry when they are happpy.
你就没去过德国吗
Haven't you ever been to Germany?
好吧我"接管"了酒吧那又怎样
All right, so what? I "Took over" the bar.
这依然是你的酒吧
It's still your bar.
很棒的酒吧丹尼
Great bar, Danny.
没问题陶德
No problem, Todd.
听着我们赚到了钱
Look, I-- we made money.
你喜欢赚钱的对吧
You like making money, don't you?
行了你到底想让我怎么样
Okay, what do you want me to do?
你真的想让我承认多年来
You really want me to admit that for years,
我呕心沥血地经营这里