把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E08

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:26 p.m.

No, man. That was way more than an act, man.
天啊那可不只是作秀
that was like a -- that was like an award-winning performance.
那都能获奥斯卡最佳表演奖了
Oh, my god, no.
天啊不是吧
Oh, god! Okay.
天啊好吧
I -- oh, god. I really -- I didn't expect this, really.
我我真没想到我会获奖
I, uh -- oh, my gosh,
我天啊
That's so much heavier than it looks like it is on tv.
奖杯比平时在电视上看到的重多了
Hey, I'm gonna go grab something out of your room.
那个我去你屋里拿点东西
Whatever. I'm still friends with Julius. Who cares?
咋啦我依然跟朱利斯是好友那又怎样
How could you do this to Leslie?
你怎么能这样对莱丝莉呢
Uh, don't you mean how could Leslie do this to me?
你是说莱丝莉怎么能这样对我吗
You know the famous saying about divorce --
你知道人们常说的关于离婚的名言
It's the kids that suffer the most,
夫妻离婚最痛苦的是孩子
but it's also the brother of the wife
但是妻子的弟弟
who was friends with the ex-husband
恰好跟她前夫是好朋友
that also suffers very, very much.
也是非常非常痛苦的
Well, I'm just shocked to see you
我只是很震惊地看到
hanging out with someone that's more handsome than you.
你跟一个比你更帅的人一起玩
Actually, we're both equally as handsome,
实际上我们是同样的帅
and I know that because I slept with the same girl
我知道这一点是因为我跟一个
that he slept with once,
曾经和他上过床的女人也上了床
and I asked her, and she said,
我问过她她说
"You know what? You're both equally as handsome." So...
"其实你们是同样帅啦"
Leslie's not gonna get hurt, because she doesn't know, okay?
莱丝莉是不会受伤的因为她根本不知道好吗
and you can lie to a loved one
你可以对一个你爱的人撒谎
as long as they're not gonna find out.
只要他们发现不了真♥相♥就行了
And that's also another saying that I love.
那也是我很喜欢的一句名言
Where do you get your sayings?
你这些所谓的名言都是从哪儿听来的啊
From a book of sayings that I've been working on
来自一本我正在努力编写的名言集
that are things that I've said that pertain to my life.
收录的都是我这一辈子所说过的经典名言
I get that Julius was a lousy husband, okay?
我知道朱利斯是个差劲的丈夫
But he's always a great friend and a great guy.
但他是个很好的朋友也是个好人
You'd know that if you knew him.
如果你了解他的话就会知道的
I don't want to get to know him,
我可不想了解他
'cause to quote a great man,
引用一个伟人的话就是
"It's not our abilities that show us who we really are,
"并不是我们的能力决定了我们是什么样的人
it's the choices that we make."
而是我们的选择决定的"
Yo! Who's quoting Dumbledore out here, huh?
哟是谁在引用邓布利多校长的话啊
You a fan? We should play Quidditch sometime.
你是粉丝吗我们抽空一起玩魁地奇吧
Right. I mean, I always think about that.
是吧我一直想着搞那个
That'd be crazy. We could do that.
那真是太疯狂了我们可以一起玩
No! What am I doing?
不我这是在搞毛呢
Listen, hey, I'm sorry, man,
听着抱歉老兄
But, um, it's gonna be very hard for me
但是我真的很难不把你
not to see you as the guy who screwed Leslie over, okay?
看做那个坑了莱丝莉的人明白吗
**Just a small-town girl*
*小镇姑娘
**Livin' in a lonely world*
*生活在一个孤寂的世界
**She took the midnight train going anywhere*
*她乘上午夜列车不知前路在何方
Of all the songs, you had to pick that one? I'm in.
天下那么多歌♥ 你非要选这首吗我要加入了
**Just a city boy*
*城市男孩
**Born and raised in south Detroit*
*土生土长于南底特律
**He took the midnight train going anywhere*
*她乘上午夜列车不知前路在何方
**Don't stop believin'*
*不要放弃希望
So you're still friends with Leslie's ex?
你跟莱丝莉的前夫依然是朋友吗
That doesn't feel right.
那感觉不太对啊
You just bought yourself an ear flick.
你刚刚赢得了本大爷赏的一记响指
Look, even Justin likes Julius.
就连贾斯丁也很喜欢朱利斯呢
That's so not true.
才不是呢
Uh, you guys sang half of "West side story" together.
你们把《西区故事》里的歌♥都唱了一半
That was a beautiful 45-minute slipup.
那是个长达45分钟的美丽错误
All right? And now Leslie's on her way,
明白吗现在莱丝莉快要来了
and what are we supposed to say?
我们该怎么说啊
You're supposed to cover for me and lie like a bro, okay?
你得替我隐瞒下去像个好兄弟一样撒谎
Brett, you know how to lie, right?
布雷特你会撒谎的对吧
I convinced 12 women
我曾成功地让12个女人相信
that I enjoyed having intercourse with them.
我喜欢和她们性♥交♥
I think I can handle this.
我觉得我是没问题的
Bursk?
伯斯科呢
Well, people don't usually listen to what I say anyway,
人们通常都不会听我说的话
So I figure if I'm gonna be --
所以我觉得如果我...
Shelly, how about you?
谢利你呢
What if someone gets in your face and demands the truth, huh?
如果有人跟你当面对质让你说出实话呢
I just plead marijuana-related ignorance.
我就声称吸了大♥麻♥ 什么都不知道
Good move.
好办法
Oh, make nice all you want, Danny,
你可以尽情假装客气丹尼
but when you fall asleep tonight,
但等你今晚睡着了
I'm coming for your ass.
我一定会来找你报仇的
That leaves us with you.
那就只剩你了
You're the one I'm concerned about.
我很担心你的表现
You don't have to be concerned or worried about me.
你不用担心我也不用瞎操心
I'm a great liar.
我是个超棒的撒谎精
That's a lie. I just lied right now.
那是句谎言我刚刚就撒谎了
I'm not good at lying, okay?
我不擅长撒谎好吗
Honestly, I can't do it. I get very nervous.
说真的我做不到我会很紧张的
I move my hands a lot. My arms just go around and --
我的手会动个不停手臂不停乱挥
Well, look, it's not gonna come up.
听着我们应该不会谈到这事儿的
But if it does, you're gonna do whatever you did
如果真谈到了你就学着当年
on all those lonely nights in high school, okay?
上高中时每个孤寂的长夜你所做的那种事
You're gonna take your medium-sized hands
你把你那中等大小的手
and stick them in your pockets and grab hold of something.
伸进裤兜里然后抓住"那玩意儿"
Hey, guys.
你们好啊
There she is.
大美女来了啊
Look at her.
瞧瞧她
Good to see her. That's a great purse.
好高兴见到她包包可真漂亮
Why is everyone acting weird?
为什么大家都表现得这么古怪
Weird?
古怪
Who's weird?
谁古怪啊
Elevator. Bing!
电梯驾到铃响人遁
You know what? I-I-I think that they're not acting weird.
其实我觉得他们并不是表现得很古怪
They're just weird guys, right? Right.
他们本身就是怪人好吧
Anyway, I, uh --
总之我...
I can't get that song "Maria" Out of my head.
我的脑海里一直萦绕着《玛利亚》这首歌♥
Today at the lawyer's office,
今天在律师办公室
Julius wouldn't stop singing "West Side Story."
朱利斯一直在唱《西区故事》中的歌♥
Well, the man can carry a tune, you know?
那家伙唱歌♥挺上道的
When did you hear him sing?
你什么时候听过他唱歌♥
What?
什么
I-I never -- I didn't -- I never heard him --
我我从未我没有听过...
I never heard him sing. No, I --
我从没听过他唱歌♥ 我...
Well, it's just when you two walked in here the other day,
那天你们两个走进来的时候
uh, you know, together,
就是一起走进来时
I noticed his adam's apple was really high.
我注意到他的喉结很高
You know, it's kind of up there.
简直要冲出脖子之外了
And I've noticed people with high adam's apples, they --
我注意到喉结很高的人他们...
you know, they have really good voices
他们的声音都很棒
that can kind of just fill a room.
堪称余音绕梁三日不绝
You know, it just really fills a room,
真的是余音绕梁三日不绝
and it can grab people and kind of pull them --
那种音乐真的很抓人然后把他们...
Pockets.
手伸裤兜里
Did you guys see Julius?
你们见过朱利斯了吗
Shelly?
谢利
I had four pot brownies for breakfast.
我早餐吃了4块大♥麻♥布朗尼蛋糕
You know what? I remember what it was.
那个我想起来是怎么回事了
Uh...I was making fun of Justin's singing.
我之前一直在嘲笑贾斯丁的歌♥声
Remember, Justin?
记得吗
Y-y-yeah. No, I-I-I remember that.
当当然了我记得
That -- that -- that definitely happened, uh, you know?
那绝对是真实发生的事
I was just singing away, like I...
我就情不自禁唱起来了就像...
**Do-o-o-o-o-o*
*平常那样...
Right, right.
对对