把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E07

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:26 p.m.

And I'm gonna be your all-bran diet.
我要成为你的全麦食品
Hey, man, can I talk to you?
哥们我能和你谈谈吗
I changed my mind.
我改变主意了
I want to know your move.
我想知道你的那招
Did you just stop having sex
你刚才是不是滚床单滚了一半
so you could come out here and talk to me?
就跑出来问我这事了
Yes!
是啊
You don't know what it's like in there.
你都不知道里面是什么情况
I mean, she's putting moves on top of moves.
她的花式一个接一个
Now she's flipping around the bedroom.
现在她在卧室里翻来翻去
It's like a damn Cirque du Soleil show in there.
他♥娘♥的♥ 简直像是太阳马戏团表演
You know what? Lucky for you,
知道吗你很走运
I thought you might want the move,
我想着你也许想要这招
so I drew up a diagram that explains exactly how --
所以我画了一张图解解释了到底是...
Hey, man. No.
慢点不行
Maybe you can't have the move right now.
也许你现在还不能学这招
Maybe you were dismissive about the move earlier,
也许你之前对这招不屑一顾
and maybe right now the move
也许现在这招
doesn't want to hang out with you.
不想和你一起玩了
Stop talking about the move like it's a person.
别把招数说得和人一样
You know what? The move doesn't like your tone.
知道吗这招不喜欢你的口气
All right?
好吗
Apologize to the move.
跟这招道歉
Move, I'm really sorry.
招儿我很抱歉
No.
不行
No, 'cause here's the deal --
不行因为是这样的
I came up with the move when I was in Italy, all right?
我在意大利时想出的这招好吗
So...
所以
you're gonna have to use an Italian accent to apologize.
你得想办法用意大利口音来道歉
Oh, boy.
天啊
Move, I feel-a so bad.
招儿俺感觉好难受
No, no.
不对
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. More Italian.
不对不对不对更有意大利风味
I want you to get your hands up like this
我想要你举起双手
and do it like this-a.
这样做
This is how-a true Italians talk -- like this,
真正的意大利人就是这样说话的像这样
like they -- like they're holding
好像他们抱着
a little, tiny mouse right here.
一只小老鼠似的
When you apologize, apologize to the tiny mouse.
你道歉时跟小老鼠道歉
Oh, move-a...
招儿
I feel-a so bad.
人家感觉好难过
Make the mouse super tiny. It's too big.
那只小老鼠更小你的太大了
You need to hold a little mouse that was just born --
你得举着一只刚刚出生的小老鼠
A tiny, little baby mouse.
超小的小小老鼠
Oh, boy.
天啊
Move, I-I -- so -- so sorry, move.
招儿我真抱歉招儿
And it's -- I'm just -- it's so --
我真是太...
what the hell am I doing?!
老子在演什么呢
Just give me the move. Ah! Got it.
快把招儿给我拿到了
All right, take the move, man. Thank you.
好了把招儿拿过去吧谢谢
Okay.
好吧
Hey, hey, just be smooth, huh?
优雅一点好吗
No problemo.
没问题
Baby, you were so amazing last night.
宝贝你昨晚太棒了
Aww, come on, girl. You know how I do.
妹子你知道哥的本事的
She's complimenting him, right?
她在表扬他对吧
But, like, it's my move that I told him about,
但其实是我告诉他的招儿
so, in a lot of ways, last night...
所以在很多方面昨晚...
I was Justin's penis.
我就是贾斯丁的鸡鸡
Yeah, I've had dreams about being another man's penis.
我经常做当别的男人鸡鸡的怪梦
And I always wake up just before they put on the condom
我总是在他们戴上套套之前醒来
'cause it feels like I'm being suffocated.
因为我觉得自己要窒息而亡
Hey, sweetie.
亲爱的
We should celebrate like obnoxious dudes
我们要抢在这些白♥痴♥前面
before these idiots do it first.
像讨厌的男人那样庆祝
Yo, girl! You tap that fine piece?
妹子你搞了他吗
Aw, hell, yeah. I crushed that ass.
是啊干得他死去活来的
Come on. We want details.
拜托我们想听细节
What was so special about last night?
昨晚有什么特别的
Uh, you know, funny you should ask. Love. Love.
真是个好问题爱爱
Love was what was special. Love makes everything better.
特别的是爱情爱情让一切都更好了
Unless you're talking about Courtney Love.
除非你说的是摇滚歌♥手科特妮·洛芙[与爱同音]
That bitch ruins things.
那婊♥子♥最能毁了
I know you like to take credit for everything, but...
我知道你想受到表扬但是...
You can't tell Nicki that you -- you gave me that move.
你不能告诉尼基你给了我那个招儿
But then how's Nicki gonna know that I gave you the move?
那尼基怎么知道那招儿是我给你的呢
She won't.
她不会的
Ever since we, you know, met,
自从我们初次见面开始
I've always thought, like, nicki was out of my league, you know?
我一直觉得尼基跟我不是一个档次的
And, please, promise me --
拜托答应我
Promise me you won't say anything.
答应我你什么也不会说
Fine.
好吧
Ah, I still don't know what got into you last night.
我还是不知道你昨晚怎么了
I do.
我知道
I've shown you every sad video on the internet,
我已经给你播放了网上每一段悲伤视频
even the one where the lion remembers his owner.
甚至是狮子记得自己主人的那段
How are you not crying?
你丫咋还没哭啊
You heartless bastard.
你个无情的混♥蛋♥
That's it. I'm going nuclear.
好了我要动用核武器了
It's time for a story called
这次是讲一个故事
"Little Shelly's medical problem."
名字叫小谢利的医疗问题
You see, when I was 6,
我六岁时
I had what doctors described as a big-ass head.
医生说我的脑袋大得出奇
And due to my top-heaviness,
因为我的头太重
it was hard for me to even stand,
我连站起来都很困难
so they got me a helmet to protect me during my many falls.
所以他们给我戴上了头盔我摔倒时能保护我
And it arrived just in time
我在新学校上学的第一天
for my first day at my new school.
头盔就到了
Oh, my god. I can't hear this.
天啊我听不下去了
All my classmates gave me cruel names
我的同学们都给我取难听的外号♥
like "Helmet Shelly" and "Big head Shelly."
比如说"头盔男谢利"和"大头谢利"
They weren't creative people.
他们没有创意
And I thought it couldn't get any worse...
我本来以为情况不能更糟糕了
Until Halloween.
结果到了万圣节
You see, my parents had to design my costume around my helmet,
我父母得给我设计穿着头盔穿的戏服
so I went as Detroit Lions legend Barry Sanders.
所以我扮演了底特律雄狮队传奇巴里·桑德斯
And it was awesome
那很赞
till I saw three older kids dressed as the Chicago Bears.
直到我看见三个大孩子穿的是芝加哥熊队的衣服
Mike Ditka pushed me down,
麦克·迪特卡推倒了我
stole my candy and, for a while, my short-term memory.
抢走了我的糖果还把我打得不省人事
And I just laid in the mud, unable to get up,
我就躺在泥巴里没法站起来
again because of the top-heaviness...
因为我的头太重了
...Just wishing I had a friend.
我希望自己有个朋友
What are you doing?
你在干嘛呢
I'm making a Shelly doll.
我在做谢利娃娃
Oh, my head's too big!
我的头太大了
This is your captain speaking.
现在说话的是机长
Welcome to Justin Air, uhhhh.
欢迎来到贾斯丁航♥空♥
Nonstop flight to pleasure town, uhhhh.
直接飞往愉悦小镇
Approximate flight time is, uh, 17 minutes.
预计到达时间 17分钟后
Oh, wait, babe. Babe.
等等宝贝
Should I feel super slutty that I just come into town to visit
我来市里是为了看你而我只想和你搞在一起
and all I want to do is fool around?
我该觉得自己超级淫♥荡♥吗
Like, should we do something else?
我们该不该做点别的事
Do you want to, um, go to a museum?
你想不想去博物馆
No, I-I hate that idea, too.
不我也讨厌那主意
Just make me feel better about this.
只是让我感觉更好了
Of course we're all over each other. We're in love.
我们当然想跟对方耳厮鬓磨啦我们坠入了爱河
And I like that you're a little slutty.
我喜欢你有点淫♥荡♥的样子
Pause. No, I don't mean, like --
等等我不是那意思