把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E04

Part 1 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:26 p.m.

The past few days have been amazing.
过去的几天真是爽呆了
I know. This is the most fun I ever had,
我懂的这是我享受过的最快乐的时光
And I went to space camp.
我可是参加过太空营的人
You guys, uh, I'm still here.
二位你们当我死了吗
By the way, you're doing it wrong.
顺便说下你们的"做法"不对
When a man and a woman have sex,
当一个男人和女人做♥爱♥时
uh, the man's never supposed to say, "Don't drop me."
男人永远不该说 "别扔下我"
Things got a little crazy last night, all right?
昨晚的"战况"实在太激烈了
I hope we didn't keep you up.
希望我们没吵得你睡不着
Baby bird, it wasn't the pasty-white sex that was keeping me up.
小小鸟让我睡不着的不是你们那寡淡无味的性♥爱♥
You know what it was?
你知道是什么吗
The two of you singing destiny's child songs.
而是你们两个唱"迪死尼"的儿童歌♥曲
Oh, Danny.
丹尼
Those two things happened simultaneously.
性到爽时歌♥声起同时进行令人迷
I'm sure that was the only thing that you two did simultaneously.
你们也就同时唱歌♥而已没实现同时高♥潮♥吧
Aw, it sucks that I have to go to my parents' this weekend.
这周末我得去我父母家真是烦透了
I am going to miss that flat little butt.
我会怀念你那扁平的小屁♥股♥的
I feel sorry for that poor girl.
我真同情这个可怜的姑娘
I have no idea how she's gonna last a whole weekend without her medicine.
我真不知道她离开良药要怎么度过漫漫周末
You've been drugging her.
你一直在给她下药
That's what -- that's how...
所以才...原来如此
If you're gonna get uncomfortable
如果每次我和尼基进行前戏时
every time that me and Nicki do some foreplay --
你都觉得不舒服
And, yes, I will have her again this morning...
我今早打算再跟她来一炮
...then I'm gonna make you more uncomfortable.
然后我要让你觉得更加不舒服
You know what? I don't think that's possible
其实我觉得那不太可能
unless you two waited till I fell asleep
除非你们等到我睡着了
and you had sex on top of me.
然后在我身上干起来
So, you don't think I could make you more uncomfortable?
你觉得我无法让你觉得更加别扭难受吗
Okay.
好吧
You mean even if I re-created what happened last night?
你是说即使我重现昨晚的情景也不行吗
Don't joke around like that.
别开这种玩笑
**Say my name, say my name *
*喊出我的名字喊出我的名字
**When no one is around you, say, "Baby, I love you" *
*当你身边没有人说宝贝我爱你
**Then I take her bra *
*然后我摘下她的胸罩
**Say my name, say my name *
*喊出我的名字喊出我的名字
And then I get on top.
然后我坐到他身上
**Say my name, say my name *
*喊出我的名字喊出我的名字
Then I put my hands over my head.
然后我把手放在头上
And then I was done.
然后我"缴枪完事"了
All right, now. Here we go. Come on.
行了我们走吧快点
Okay. We are going.
好吧我们走
All right, now. That was me singing.
好了刚刚是我高歌♥一曲
What do you think about that?
你觉得怎么样
It was horrifying.
真是太可怕了
Hey, Shelly, uh, did you ever talk to that guy about --
嘿谢利你有找那个人谈谈...
Rewind.
进入倒带模式
Hey, uh, and you might be...
你好啊你是...
You must be Danny.
你一定是丹尼吧
Your sister said you talk
你姐姐说你说话就像
like you're in a Matthew Mcconaughey movie.
是在影帝马修·麦康纳电影中的人物那样
All right, all right.
好吧好吧
Sabrina and I went to college together,
塞布丽娜是我的大学同学
and then she moved to Paris.
然后她搬去了巴黎
Sabrina's also got a great rack, but if you tell her that,
塞布丽娜还有一对巨♥乳♥ 但如果你当她面这么夸她
she makes you sit way over here.
她会让你坐一边儿去
I am at the university of Michigan
我现在在密歇根大学
getting my PHD in French literature.
攻读法国文学的博士学位
Then she's gonna use that degree to get a job nowhere.
她靠这个学位就准备好"家里蹲"吧
Sabrina, if you like French stuff,
塞布丽娜如果你喜欢法国的东西
then did you know they call it a French tickler --
那你知道一种叫做法式"止痒棒"的东西...
Back in the corner. Yeah.
滚回墙角面壁去遵命
I, too, have a deep love for French literature.
我也同样深爱着法国文学
I actually did my senior thesis on Victor Hugo.
我的毕业论文写的就是关于大文豪雨果的
Wow, this is already a really, really, really boring story.
你讲到这里就已经是个相当相当无聊的故事了
Uh, I can't save myself, but if you'd like,
我无法自救但如果你愿意的话
I could rip your heart out and show it to you
我可以掏出你的心给你看看
so you can end up dying quickly.
那样你就可以速死了
My professor was actually, um, French Canadian,
我的教授是个法裔加拿大人
and it was, uh Do it.
而且真是... 动手吧
Leslie, you can let your friend know
莱丝莉你可以告诉你的朋友
that my girlfriend is way hotter than her.
我女朋友可比她性感多了
Well, it was great to meet you,
很高兴见到你
and I will see you later, Les.
回见了莱丝
Sister, may I have her?
老姐我可以上她吗
You always do this!
你总是这样死性不改
You always hook up with my friends.
你总是勾搭我的朋友
Someone better call Steve Harvey.
快打电♥话♥给情感顾问史蒂夫·哈维吧
We got ourselves a "Family feud."
我们这儿发生了"家仇"
Look, if you want me to stop having sex with your friends,
如果你不希望我再跟你的朋友发生性关系了
then -- I don't know -- just, like...Don't have any friends.
那不如就你别再交朋友了
They think you're so great at first,
他们一开始都认为你很出色
And then they get Danny'd.
然后他们就被"丹尼大♥法♥"耍了
Is getting Danny'd when a hot stud bangs you?
被"丹尼大♥法♥"耍了的意思是被性感种马上了吗
'cause if it is Corner!
如果是这样的话滚到墙角面壁去
Damn it!
该死的
Getting Danny'd is when he sleeps with them once
"丹尼大♥法♥"的意思是他跟女人睡了一次
and blows them off, and then I'm left cleaning up the mess.
然后甩了她们然后就由我来收拾烂摊子了
I don't think you're gonna have to worry about Danny and Sabrina.
我觉得你不用担心丹尼和塞布丽娜会这样
Sabrina is a smart and sophisticated, classy woman.
塞布丽娜是个聪明久经世故高雅的女人
Whoa, oh, no, no. Wait.
等等等等
Are you suggesting that she's out of my league?
你是在说我配不上她吗
Because that is not possible unless...
那是不可能的除非...
Wait a minute. Wait.
等等等等
Hold on one second.
稍等一下
Oh, god. Oh, god.
天啊天啊
Oh, god, this is -- I was -- I've been worrying about this.
这真是...我一直在担心发生这种事
No, I'm still me. Thank god.
不我还是我谢天谢地
Yeah, that's, uh -- so she's not out of my league, bro.
所以我不可能配不上她兄弟
Look, Danny, if you want some advice from --
丹尼如果你需要我给你出出主意...
Wait. Hold on. Are -- are --
等等别慌你...
you really think that you can give me advice?
你真觉得我会需要你帮忙出主意吗
Oh, wait. Oh, I'm sorry.
等等抱歉
I totally messed up the emphasis on that sentence.
我完全搞错了这句话的重音
Let me try it again.
容我再说一次
You think that you can give me advice?
你♥他♥妈♥竟以为我会需要你这种人的主意吗
I'm obviously crushing it in my own relationship.
我显然将之应用到了我自己的感情关系中
Nicki and I even hooked up this morning.
尼基和我今早还缠绵了一次呢
I got your text.
我收到你的短♥信♥了
Brett, is that jacket
布雷特你穿这件夹克
so people from outer space can tell you're gay?
是为了让外太空的人也看出你是基佬吗
Hey, does the jacket possibly come with figure skates
你这件夹克是不是还附赠花式溜冰鞋
and a boyfriend?
和男友啊
All right, guys, let's just give him a break, okay?
行了饶了他吧
It's -- it's cool, man.
没关系的老兄
They're just taking the piss out of me.
他们只是拿我开涮而已
We all do it to each other.
我们之间经常这样
Well, yeah, no, go ahead.
那好吧请继续
If you guys want to go ahead and make gay jokes, go ahead.
如果你们想继续开些基佬玩笑请继续
Look, I get it. You've always been a little bit uptight,
我懂的你总是有点过于正经
and I only came out a couple months ago,
我也是几个月前才出柜的
so you just -- it's gonna take you awhile
所以你需要一些时间
to get used to me as a gay man.
才能接受我是同性恋这一事实
I've known you as a gay man since college.
我从大学时就知道你是同性恋了
Freshman year, you went to Halloween as Britney Spears.
大一的时候你万圣节时打扮成了小甜甜布兰妮
And then in sophomore year. "Oops, I did it again."
大二的时候伦家不小心又扮了一次
I'm -- I'm just saying, before I came out,
我的意思是在我出柜之前
you always used to give me crap, and now you're just --
你也总是拿我开涮现在你却...
You're so careful.
你总是小心翼翼的
I'm not acting any differently.
我的表现并没有任何不同啊