把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E13

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:28 p.m.

我们只是在等着看苏菲更喜欢哪个
We were just waiting to see which guy Sophie prefers.
你看起来很帅嘛
Hey, you look great.
谢谢这是我的幸运上衣
Thank you. It's my lucky blazer.
霍格沃茨录取你时
Hey, uh, was that the jacket you wore
你是不是就穿着这件外套
when you were accepted to Hogwarts?
贾斯丁
Hey, Justin.
苏菲直呼其名关系密切没什么大不了的
Hey, Sophie. First-name basis -- no big deal.
她想和我谈谈
She wants to talk to me.
其实我想和他谈谈
Actually, I wanted to talk to him.
这样吧贾斯丁让我们单独谈谈吧
Uh, you know what? Justin, excuse us?
没问题我这就去我办公室
No problem. Yeah. No, I'm just gonna go to my office
看看外套能不能塞进碎纸机
and see if my shredder can fit a blazer.
我只想问问
I just wanted to ask.
天啊我好紧张
Oh, god. I'm so nervous.
只是他好帅
It's just, he's so cute.
你说什么
Excuse me?
你是他的朋友他对女朋友真的是认真的吗
You're his friend. Is he really serious about his girlfriend?
现在是什么情况
What -- what's happeng right now?
你有没有看见我这个大帅哥啊
Did you see these?
我好爱这一时刻
I love this moment so much,
真想给它生孩子
I just want to make babies with it.
好吧贾斯丁和尼基
Okay. Yeah. Justin and Nicki are --
是很认真的
are pretty serious.
真扫兴
Oh. What a bummer.
但是老爹还单着呢
But, uh, you know, daddy's single.
如果你不在乎那就继续走吧
Keep walking if you don't give a crap.
拜托告诉我贾斯丁尖尖的精灵耳朵
Please tell me that Justin's pointy elf ear
没有贴在门上
wasn't pressed against the door
这样他能听到一切
so he could listen to the whole thing.
我听到了每个字
Oh, I heard every word!
别小题大做好吗
Just don't make a big deal of it, okay?
我不会小题大做的
Never make a big deal out of this.
水果姐姐可能会
Katy Perry might.
*我有着猛虎之眼*
*'Cause I got the eye of the tiger*
*一名战士*
*A fighter*
各位慢动作庆祝
Guys, slow-motion celebration.
*因为我是万兽之王*
*'cause I am the champion*
*听我咆哮吧*
*And you're gonna hear me roa-a-a-a-r*
*听我咆哮吧*
*And you're gonna hear me roa-a-a-a-r*
尼基教会了我如何做一名更好的爱人
You see, Nicki taught me how to be a better lover.
她是通过拍手系统教我的
She taught me with the clapping system.
每次我做了错事她就会拍手
Any time I did anything wrong, she would clap, you know?
现在是死一般的沉默
Now...It's dead silence.
好了你知道吗
All right, man. You know what?
并不是有姑娘选择了贾斯丁而不是我这一事实
It's not the fact that a girl picked justin over me
让我吓坏了
that's freaking me out.
这显然是世界末日
It's obviously the end of the world,
我这辈子还有好多事没干呢
and there's so many things in my life that I haven't done yet.
比如说我从来没和比利时的女孩上♥床♥过
For instance, I've never had sex with a girl from Belgium,
那是我地图上唯一一个
and that's the only country on my map
没按图钉的国家
that doesn't have a pushpin in it.
俄♥罗♥斯♥呢
So, like, Russia?
有你不记得娜塔莎了吗
Uh, yeah. Don't you member Natasha?
-墨西哥 -罗萨里奥
- Mexico. - Uh, Rosario.
我刚终于想和基佬上♥床♥了
Yeah, I just finally want to have sex with a gay man...
或者是一个背时的直男
or a straight guy who's down on his luck.
这时候哪还能挑肥拣瘦
I mean beggars can't be choosers at this point.
丹尼活在
Danny, how does it feel
贾斯丁·科尔尼的世界感觉如何
to be living in Justin Kearney's world now?
不不不听着
No, no, no. All right, look. Okay.
唯一可以
The only guys that are allowed
用第三人称称呼自己
to talk about themselves in the third person
并且没问题的人是丹尼·伯顿和德雷克
and get away with it are Danny Burton and Drake.
*天啊德雷克有好多妹子和房♥子*
*Lord, Drake's got so many women and houses*
*但德雷克还是多愁善感*
*But Drake's still so emotional*
丹尼放松点好吗
Danny, relax, okay?
我有女朋友
I have a girlfriend.
你可以拥有这个酒吧里
You can have any girl in this bar
我允许你拥有的任何女孩
that I allow you to have.
惊喜哟
Surprise.
你有根睫毛掉了
You have an eyelash.
来吧许愿吹气
Go ahead. Make a wish. Blow.
好了我打算从你手里抢过睫毛
Okay. You know what? I'm gonna actually grab that from you,
我打算还给你
and I'm gonna give it back to you
因为我害怕你会在一个看起来像是
'cause I'm afraid you're gonna waste your wish
来自"小小世界"之旅的模特身上
On a guy that looks like a mannequin
浪费掉你的愿望
from the "It's a small world" Ride.
过来哥们过来
Come here, dude. Come here. Hey.
现在是怎么回事啊
What is going on right now?
-他有什么不一样了吗 -是啊
- Is there something different about him? - Yes.
他沉溺在爱河中
He's head over heels in love.
你不知道那有多性感吗
Don't you know how sexy that is?
听着丹尼我也希望我可以关闭掉魅力
Listen, Danny, I wish I could turn this charm off,
但是老爹不知道该怎么做
but daddy don't know how.
拜托让贾斯丁倒霉
Please make something bad happen to Justin.
太神奇了我得搞来更多的睫毛
That is amazing. I need to get more eyelashes.
你在干什么莱丝
What are you doing, Les?
评论最近一个跟我上♥床♥的男人
Reviewing the last guy I hooked up with.
怎么称呼一个迈着羞耻的步伐的男人
What's it called when a guy does the walk of shame?
我称之为跑去吃早餐
I call it skipping to breakfast.
读读布雷特
Hey, read Brett's reviews
还没出柜时的评论
back from when he was in the closet.
他肯定是基佬
"Pretty sure he was gay."
感觉有点基
"Seemed a little gay."
相当基
"Very, very gay."
谢利同一晚同一个姑娘
Hey, Shelly, you got an 8 and then a 2
给了你一个8分一个2分
from the same girl on the same night.
这两个分数之间发生了什么
What happened in between these two scores?
披萨出现了
Oh, the pizza showed up.
天啊我们得查查伯斯科
Oh, my gosh. We have to look up Burski.
拜托各位这样可不好
Come on, guys. This isn't cool.
你们嘲笑我够了
You make fun of me enough.
10分制中的9.9分
A 9.9 out of 10?
床单下有个多毛的惊喜
"A hairy surprise under the sheets."
太棒了
Oh, yeah!
快给前副总统艾尔·戈尔打电♥话♥ 网络坏了
Somebody call Al Gore. The internet's broken.
我真的很想念我的女朋友
I just really miss my girlfriend
我对她超忠心超爱
that I'm super-monogamous and really in love with.
在谈你的女朋友啊丹尼
Talking about your girlfriend, Danny?
是啊没和她在一起真的很艰难我...
Yeah. It's really hard being without her. I, uh...
我感觉我的一部分遗失了
I feel like part of me is missing, you know?
天啊你必须得跟我们说说她的事好吗
Oh, my -- you got to tell us about her, okay?
你俩怎么认识的
How'd you two kids meet?
一天我就在海滩上闲逛
Well, uh, I was just kind of hanging out on the beach one day,
一位美女走出了海洋
and this really beautiful lady wandered out of the ocean,
然后
and...
我想跟她交谈
I wanted to talk to her,
但是一个巫后夺走了她的声音
but an evil queen stole her voice.
谁给你们介绍的
Who introduced you?
一只牙买♥♥加小螃蟹
A tiny Jamaican crab?
我该走了
I should get going.
那不会管用的
Look, that was never gonna work.
女人爱我不是因为我有女朋友
Women don't love me because I have a girlfriend.
她们爱我是因为她们知道
They love me 'cause they know
我会尽一切努力让她开心
I would do anything to make her happy.
比如说
Like, for instance,
尼基在兰辛市找到了一份很棒的全职工作
Nicki just got this great full-time job in Lansing,
我要尽量在这里
and I'm trying to find her
给她找一份一样好的工作
something equally as good down here.
不管付出什么代价
Whatever it takes.