把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E06

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:26 p.m.

Okay, okay, okay, okay. Okay, okay.
好了好了行了
Look, you just need practice
你就是需要练习一下
Trying to pick up a dude that's really handsome
现在选一个超级帅气
and out of your league, so, uh...
你完全追不到的人吧
Okay. I'll volunteer.
好咧我就主动上场吧
No offense. But if he's gonna practice on anyone,
无意冒犯但他如果要找人练习的话
in the words of 'N sync...
用超级男孩组合的歌♥词来说就是
**It's gonna be me*
*那也一定得是我
Brett, gun to your head,
布雷特假如你被一把枪指着头
who would you rather have sex with -- Woody or Buzz?
你愿意选择谁做♥爱♥ 伍迪还是巴斯
Well, I'm the obvious choice.
显而易见该选我啊
I got good hair, I got tight sweaters,
我发型帅衣服紧
plus everybody wants to
再说了任何人都想要
have sex with a Jeff Goldblum.
跟我这种长得像杰夫·高布伦的人做♥爱♥
Yeah. That's an aggressive "No" on Burski.
好了伯斯科彻底淘汰出局
And Shelly's out because of the Vietnam nightmares.
谢利因为越南噩梦事件也得出局
I only went there on vacation, but I hated it.
我只是去那儿度假的但我现在恨极了那里
Look, Brett, it's -- I'm the obvious choice, all right?
布雷特你显然该选我啊
It's obviously me. I mean, look into my eyes.
毫无疑问该选我看着我的眼睛
Get lost in them.
迷失在我深邃的双眸中
Uh, all right. Whatever, weirdo. Huh?
行了别鬼扯怪胎
These hips, bro,
我的翘臀老兄
will take you...
将会让你
to infinity and beyond.
让你享受无限的基情
Hey. No, no, no, no. That's good. That's good.
嘿别别别真翘真诱惑
Don't point. Don't point.
别指别指
Listen to me. Sure. Okay.
听我说没错确实
Danny might give you
丹尼或许可以让你享受
a crazy, wild, sexy one-night stand.
疯狂狂野性感的一♥夜♥情♥
Why am I saying that?
我为什么要说这种话啊
But, listen.
但你听好了
The point is, the next morning, he'll be gone.
重点是第二天早上他就会走人了
Not me. I'll always be there.
而我不会我会永远在你身边的
And guess what. I call big spoon.
而且你知道吗我可以从你背后蜷抱着你睡
Listen, Brett. I'd...make love to you.
听着布雷特我愿意跟你做♥爱♥
We wouldn't even have to have sex.
我们根本不用做♥爱♥的
How gay do you think I am?
你以为我基到什么程度啊
Just say you'd pick me.
直接说你会选我就好啦
Okay. It doesn't matter, all right?
好吧那根本没什么的
So just pick one of us. Pick, pick. Pick one of us.
从我们当中选一个就行了选吧选吧
Pick. Pick me. Pick one. Pick one of us.
选吧选我选一个吧
Just pick one. You think you --
选一个吧你以为你...
Okay. Okay, okay, okay!
行了行了
Gun to my head...
如果枪指着我的头非要选
I'd pick Danny.
我就选丹尼
Okay. Well, that's cool.
好吧没事
I had a great time.
我玩得很开心
Great job, Danny.
好样的丹尼
Yes. Great. Ooh. Okay.
好棒棒极了好吧
Way to go, Bursk. Love the sweater.
真有你的伯斯科爱你的毛衣
There it is. That's my friend.
好样的我的朋友
Never go to Vietnam. Love it. Okay.
再也别去越南了好爱的
No. You had your chance, okay?
滚开你已经错过机会了
You don't get any of this.
你可别想享受我曼妙的身材
I changed my mind -- I want to be one of the aliens.
我改变主意了我想扮演外星人
"Ooh! The claw! The claw!"
"呜爪子爪子"
I can't do it. I can't do it.
我做不到我做不到
Look how tight his shirt is. You can see his abs.
你看他的上衣有多紧都能看到他的腹肌了
You can see his abs. Okay, okay. Relax. All right. Just relax.
都能看到他的腹肌了行了放松放松
Okay. What you got to do is,
听好你需要做的就是
you just got to close your eyes
闭上你的眼睛
and visualize yourself in your happy place.
想象着你身处一个让你快乐的地方
Watch me do it.
看我来示范一下
All right. Now I'm just kind of --
好了我现在...
Now I'm just like kind of nude,
我现在赤身裸体
I'm in my bed, I'm just hanging out,
躺在我的床上随便玩玩
and there's a mirror on the ceiling.
然后天花板上有面镜子
And am I in there with you?
我和你一起在床上吗
I mean, well, yeah, whatever.
行吧随便
If you want to be. I...
如果你非要参与的话当然行了
Oh, yeah. You're right.
对哦你说得对
I do feel better.
我确实感觉好些了
Great. All right. Where are you?
太棒了你现在在哪儿
Mcdonald's.
麦当劳
What? No way!
什么不是吧
I'm here, too!
我也在这儿呢
Hi, Brett!
嗨布雷特
Hey, Shelly! What are you doing here, man?
嗨谢利你在这儿干什么呢
Oh, don't let them try to tell you
别相信他们说的什么
there's an age limit in the ball pit.
球池有年龄限制
There isn't.
根本没有的
Game over. Look.
游戏结束听着
Let's just, uh, man up and ask this guy out.
你稍微爷们儿一点约他出去吧
Okay? Okay.
行吗好的
Thanks, man.
谢了老兄
Look, Steve, um...
听着斯蒂夫
What -- what I wanted to say, mate, was, um...
兄弟我想说的是
how would you -- how would you feel about...
你觉得那个...
possibly going on a date sometime...
抽空能不能约个会什么的
with -- with me?
我是说和我一起
I'm flattered, man.
我受宠若惊啊老兄
But I'm just not interested in you in that way.
但我对你没有那方面的兴趣
Okay.
好吧
Brett, wait.
布雷特等等
Damn it, man.
该死的老兄
I almost feel like that was partly my fault.
我都觉得有点算是我的错了
Well, I just paid a man 300 bucks to fix two lights
我刚刚付给一个男人300美金来修理两盏灯
and, uh, break one of my friend's hearts.
同时又击碎了我朋友的心
Hope you're happy.
但愿这下你开心了
You know what, man?
你知道吗老兄
I feel bad that Brett got shot down,
布雷特被拒绝我也很难受
but being rejected only makes you stronger.
但是被拒绝只会让一个人变得更坚强
You know I got rejected by 12 colleges
你知道吗我曾经被12所大学拒绝
before I decided not to go to college?
后来我♥干♥脆决定不去上大学了
Okay. Now he's never gonna ask another guy out.
现在他永远都不会再约别的男人了
Aw, sure, he is.
他当然会了
Because now he knows what it feels like to get rejected.
因为现在他知道被拒绝是什么感觉
You know how much my life changed when I realized
你知道当我意识到一个女孩能对我说的
that the worst thing a girl could say to me is no?
最打击的话就是"不行"之后我的人生改变多少吗
Actually, the worst thing is,
其实最具打击力的话是
"I just want to be friends."
"我只想跟你做朋友而已"
Bitch, I got friends!
贱♥人♥ 我不缺你这个朋友好吗
Let me put it in terms that you'll understand.
让我用你能懂的话仔细解释一遍吧
I'll use your favorite movie, "Toy story."
我就用你最爱的电影《玩具总动员》举例吧
I know you think that Buzz was this hero,
我知道你认为巴斯是个大英雄
but Buzz basically just swooped in and tried to ruin
但巴斯只是突然降临并且试图破坏
what was already a perfect family of friends.
原本已经很幸福的朋友之家
But luckily, Woody was there for Andy
但所幸的是伍迪一直在安迪身边守护着他
and was able to teach Buzz
并且可以教会巴斯
that there's more to life
人生除了跟其他玩具上♥床♥之外
than just sleeping with other toys.
还有其它很多值得追求的东西
I don't remember that part.
我可不记得有这情节啊
You know what's really messed up?
你知道真正有问题的是什么吗
I feel like there's some sick part of you
我觉得你内心有种变♥态♥的快♥感♥
that's actually happy that Brett got shot down,
庆幸布雷特被拒绝了
Because that means that I was wrong.
因为那说明我错了
That's ridiculous. Oh, is it?
真是太荒谬了是吗
Because I swear the moment that Brett got shot down,
因为我发誓在布雷特被拒绝的那刻
I saw out of the corner of my eye for a split second,
我眼角的余光瞥见
your face light up.
你的脸上露出了喜悦的表情