把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E13

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:28 p.m.

我就是这样获得光环的
That's how I get the glow.
-那可不妙 -怎么了
- Well, that's not good. - What?
前几天
Well, the other day,
贾斯丁说尼基的妈妈
Justin said that Nicki's mom
让她为离开而觉得内疚
made her feel guilty about leaving,
现在他又说
and now he's saying
她在家那边有了一份全职工作
that she got a full-time job back home.
我觉得她不会回来了
I don't think she's coming back.
你可能只是反应过激了
You're probably just overreacting.
宝贝我回头和你聊
Okay, baby. I'll talk to you later.
祝你和加里用餐愉快
Have fun at dinner with, uh, Gary.
加里是谁
Who's Gary?
只是尼基的同事
Oh. Just somebody Nicki works with
他以前是J.Crew男装的模特
who used to be a J.Crew model,
希望能打折
so fingers crossed on discounts.
卡其裤
Ch-ch-chinos!
快来人给凯莉·华盛顿[《丑闻》女主]打电♥话♥
Somebody call Kerry Washington.
这里有丑闻了
We got ourselves a scandal.
听着
Look, okay?
尼基经历了那些事
With everything going on with Nicki
还有了工作还有加里
and her job and Gary,
我觉得她不会回来了
I don't think that she's coming back.
真是不出所料
You are so predictable.
我是说只有一次
I mean, for once -- for once,
姑娘们选择我而不是你
girls actually want me more than you,
你还非得攻击我和尼基的恋情
and you have to take shots at my relationship with Nicki.
所以你永远也无法拥有我拥有的东西
This is why you'll never have what I have.
长得最像比尔·帕克斯顿导演的人的奖杯吗
A trophy for the guy who looks most like Bill Paxton?
我说的是真正的恋爱关系丹尼
I'm talking about a real, loving relationship, Danny,
那简直让你痛不欲生因为你非得
and that kills you because you always have
比别人更出色
to be better than everybody else.
你非得高高在上
You always have to be up here,
别人都在你脚下
and everybody else has to be down here.
所以你是个糟糕的朋友
That's why you're a bad friend.
不说到友谊时我们是这样的
No. When it comes to friendship, we're like this.
不许动看看你的手
Freeze. Look at your hands.
好吧我觉得你认为
Okay. I feel like you think
这能证明你的观点但你知道吗
that this proves your point, but you know what?
这不一定能证明你的观点
It doesn't necessarily prove your point
-因为这只手可能代表贾斯丁 -是吗
- Because this could be the Justin hand. - Is it?
当然不是因为这只手个性十足
Of course not, because it has so much personality.
代表着丹尼好吗
It's the Danny hand, okay?
小小鸟你错了
Baby bird, you're wrong, all right?
-我喜欢看见我朋友擅长某事 -真的吗
- I love seeing my friends do well at things. - Really?
昨天布雷特和我去了办公室
So yesterday, Brett and I went into my office,
他承认我比你跳舞稍微好一点点
and he admitted that I'm a slightly better dancer than you.
你为此烦心吗
Does that bother you?
那太荒唐了好吗
That's ridiculous, okay?
因为我会这样
Because -- uh-oh -- there's that.
知道吗
And you know what?
我不会说布雷特是个骗子
I'm not trying to call Brett a liar,
但瞧瞧我现在在做什么
but what about this that's going on right here?
现在甚至都没有亚瑟的歌♥曲在播放
And you know what? There's not even an Usher song playing.
所以随便啦
So whatever.
你不会想跟我斗舞的小子
You do not want to have a dance-off with me, son.
加油丹尼
Go, Danny.
-加油丹尼 -加油贾斯丁
- Go, Danny. - Go, Justin.
-加油丹尼 -加油贾斯丁
- Go, Danny. - Go, Justin.
加油丹尼加油丹尼
Go, Danny. Go, Danny.
加油丹尼加油丹尼
Go, Danny. Go, Danny.
-加油贾斯丁 -加油丹尼
- Go, Justin. - Go, Danny.
-加油丹尼 -加油贾斯丁
- Go, Danny. - Go, Justin.
加油丹尼
Go, Danny.
好了姐走了
All right. I'm out.
干嘛
What?
没什么只是...
Nothing. It's just...
你收到了好多很棒的评论
All those great reviews you got.
你的秘密是什么
What's your secret?
我想是因为我很少有机会
I guess it's that I rarely get the opportunity
和别人上♥床♥
to have sex with anyone.
所以我滚床单时
Um, so when I do,
我喜欢顾及她的感受
I like to make it about her...
或者他
Or him.
我开玩笑的
I'm kidding.
我...
Wow. I...
我还从来没有跟十分顾及我感受的男人约会过
I've never been out with a guy who made it all about me.
我跟一个一直说我
I've been out with a guy
还有他老婆的男人约会过
who made it all about me and his wife.
所以我不再喝龙舌兰了
That's why I don't drink tequila anymore.
你想不想去别的地方喝杯酒
Do you maybe want to go get a drink somewhere else?
我不敢相信我会说这句话但是
I can't believe I'm saying this, but...
是的我愿意
Yeah. I think I do.
好的
Okay. Oh.
莱丝等等
Les, wait.
那些评论是假的
Those reviews are fake.
我写了评论好让你喜欢我
I-I wrote them to get you to like me.
我知道
Yeah, I know.
所以他们才没在这里
That's why none of the guys are here.
他们在我公♥寓♥里等着
They're waiting at my apartment,
准备在我们回去时跳出来
ready to jump out when we got back.
但如果你觉得
But if you thought that something
我俩之间终于要发生点什么了你为什么停下来
was finally gonna happen between us, why'd you stop?
我们以后会拥有我们的爱情故事的
We're gonna have our love story someday,
那不会这样开始的
and, uh, it's not gonna start like this.
我要提升自己的人格
I have some work to do as a person.
但总有一天我会准备好的
But one day, I'll be ready for you.
天啊
Oh, god.
你因为伯斯科脸红了吗
Are you all flushed because of Burski?
你需要一杯酒吗
Do you need a glass of wine?
-一瓶 -好
- A bottle. - Okay.
这里有谁真觉得尼基不会回来了
Who here seriously thinks that Nicki's not coming back?
听着亲爱的
Look, sweetie.
只是有一些危险信♥号♥♥
It's just, there's a couple red flags.
是啊有一个非常帅的"危险信♥号♥♥"
Yeah, and one incredibly handsome red flag.
布雷特给他看看我们在网上找到的
Brett, show him that bathing-suit pic
加里的泳装照
we found of Gary online.
我♥干♥脆现在就给她打电♥话♥
Why don't I just call her right now? Okay?
我要给她打电♥话♥ 好证明你们都错了
I'll call her so I can prove you all wrong.
我是加里
Go for Gary.
什么
What?
这是尼基的电♥话♥吗
Uh, is this Nicki's phone? Is this --
是啊她在穿衣服
Yeah. She's, uh, getting dressed.
-你是贾斯丁吗 -穿衣服
- Is this Justin? - Dressed?
好吧
Okay. All right.
我还是不把你设置为扬声器了加里
Uh, let me take you off speakerphone, Gary.
没错我是贾斯丁
Uh, yeah. This is Justin..
听起来我还是用扬声器在说
Still sounds like I'm on speaker.
你好加里
Hi, Gary.
好吧听着
All right. Look, look, man.
你得像演员利亚姆·尼森一样对付这人好吗
You got to go Liam Neeson on this guy, all right?
你得告诉他你有一系列特别的技巧
You got to tell him you have a particular set of skills.
好吧你听我说好吗
All right. All right. You listen to me, okay?
尼基和我坠入了爱河我会开车过去
Nicki and I are in love, and I will drive over there,
我会干掉你加里
and I will take you down! Okay, Gary?!
贾斯丁我觉得你给我设置静音了
Justin, I think you've got me on mute, buddy.
你说的话我一个字也没听到
I haven't heard a word you said.
贾斯丁一切都还好吗
Justin? Is everything okay?
你和J.Crew模特加里在搞什么呢
What are you doing with J.Crew Gary?
加里是基佬
Gary's gay.
谢天谢地
Thank god.