把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E01

Part 2 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:25 p.m.

Only since I hired her.
就从我雇她开始
So, what's today -- Friday?
今天是周几周五吗
So, like, 80 weeks.
大概80周了吧
It just needs to be the right moment.
那必须是在合适的时刻
Which is what? I don't know.
那是什么时候我不知道
It's not like I'm up thinking about it all the time, you know?
我又不是一直在想这件事
But it'd have to be earlier in the week.
但必须在一周的前几天
But not too early so I seem desperate --
但不要太靠前了这样我看起来很饥渴
like a Tuesday... in the fall...
比如说秋天里的周二
'cause that's when my wardrobes are the strongest.
那时候我的衣柜最给力
But early fall so I still kind of have a tan.
但是要在早秋这样我就还是黝黑皮肤
At dusk -- magic hour.
在黄昏神奇的时刻
I'm behind the bar washing a glass.
我在酒吧后面洗玻璃杯
She comes out, like, "What are you doing?"
她出来说你在干什么呢
I'm like, "Washing a glass."
我说洗玻璃杯
She's like, "Do you need help?"
她说你需要帮助吗
I'm like, "Yeah, that's your job."
我说是啊那是你的工作
Then she walks over. "Take on me" starts playing.
然后她走过来《接受我》这首歌♥开始播放
I sing along casually,
我随意跟着唱几句
but hitting the high notes 'cause I can.
但是要展现高音因为哥能做到
Then I go in for the kiss, and right then, I pull away,
然后我吻她一下马上分开
get myself a beer, walk out the door,
拿杯啤酒走出门去
Letting her know that she can't have a guy like me.
让她知道没法拥有一个像我这样的男子
When do you have sex in this fantasy?
在你的幻想中你们什么时候做♥爱♥啊
I'm sorry, Fonzie.
抱歉方兹
we don't all have your confidence with women.
我们在女人面前没你这么自信
Excuse me.
不好意思
You think I just came out of my mom's womb
你觉得我妈妈刚生下我
just crushing ass?
我就是女人杀手了吗
I've had many teachers --
我有过很多老师
All helping mold the sexual juggernaut
她们全部帮忙塑造了
that you see standing right here before you.
站在你面前的这尊性♥爱♥大神
Are you aware of how douchey you sound?
你知道你这话有多混球吗
Negative thoughts just bounce right off me, bro.
消极想法从我身上反弹了哥们
Who were your teachers?
你的老师有谁
No one.
没人
No one?
没人吗
Oh, my god.
天啊
Justin, you need me.
贾斯丁你需要我
Words cannot express
言语无法表现
how strongly I disagree with that statement.
我有多么反对那句话
Look, I get it, you know.
我明白
you're scared, and change is hard, baby bird,
你很害怕改变很困难小小鸟
but I'm gonna help you mend those broken wings.
但我要帮你修补折翼
I'm gonna be the father bird and just feed you knowledge.
我会成为鸟爸喂你知识
Consider this your acceptance speech
把这当做丹尼·伯顿大学的
to Danny Burton university.
入学演讲吧
DBU!
丹伯大学
You're insane.
你疯了
Those are negative thoughts,
那是消极想法
and I'm just gonna ignore 'em and come in for the hug.
我要无视它们来抱抱你
Arms up. I don't want a hug.
举起手臂我不要抱抱
No hug. Come on.
不要抱来吧
I do not need a mentor.
我不需要导师
I know.. You wouldn't think so, right? You're young.
我知道你不这么觉得对吧你年轻
You own a bar. You sing like an angel.
开一家酒吧唱歌♥像天使一样
You're adorable. Right?
你很帅对吧
Yeah, your face is a six, but your body's a seven.
是啊你的脸是六分但你的身材有七分
Look, you got the juice, buddy.
你有魅力哥们
You just don't know how to use the juice.
你只是不知道该如何施展
I know how to use the juice.
我知道如何施展魅力
Then use the juice.
那就施展吧
Use the juice, and I'll lay off you, okay?
施展魅力我就不管你了好吗
I swear on our lobo code.
我以狼的名誉发誓
Fine.
好吧
Better get your raincoat, muchacho.
最好穿上雨衣小伙子
It's about to get super juicy up in here.
这里要魅力四射了
Oh! God.
天啊
Sweetie, be careful. I almost bitch-slapped you.
亲爱的小心点我差点扇了你一耳光
No need for bitch-slapping.
没必要扇耳光嘛
I'm totally safe.
我很安全的
I mean, not totally safe. That'd be boring, right?
不是非常安全啦那就很无聊了对吧
But not too dangerous, either, you know?
但也不太危险
I'm kind of like the baby bear's porridge, girl -- just right.
我有点像熊宝宝的粥姑娘恰到好处
Wait. I don't get it.
等等我不明白
"Goldilocks And the Three Bears."
《金发姑娘与三只熊》
Didn't your dad ever read to you?
你♥爸♥爸没跟你读过吗
Um, I never met my dad.
我没见过我爸爸
Would you like to? I don't know why I said that.
你想见吗我不知道我为啥这样说
Can't make that happen. That dream is gone.
没法办到那个梦想无法实现
Um, but -- sorry.
但是抱歉
I'm just letting you know that I'm adventurous, you know?
我只是在告诉你我爱冒险
Like -- like a -- like a -- like a pirate, you know?
就像海盗一样
Or a cat burglar --
或者是飞贼
Like somebody who's gonna steal your clocks,
像是那种偷走你的钟的人
not somebody who's gonna come into your room
不是那种会在三更半夜
in the middle of the night and be like, "Hey,"
到你的房♥间里来说"喂"
and then just, "Shhhh. Shhhh.
然后说 "嘘"
Pillow, and then, "Shhhhhh."
拿个枕头然后"嘘"
I don't know why I killed you.
我不知道我为什么杀了你
Hello. Would you like to go to the library with me?
你好想和我去图书馆吗
Okay, look!
好吧
E-excuse us.
我们先失陪了
Did you guys just see that?
你们看见刚才的一幕了吗
You almost asked her out!
你差点约她出去
That was crazy, bro!
太疯狂了哥们
This is so much worse than I thought.
这比我想象中的更糟糕
We're gonna go out tonight.
我们今晚要出去
We are out. We're at a bar.
我们就在外面啊我们在酒吧
No, no, no. I mean out out.
我是说到外面去
Out into the world.
外面的世界
Out of your routine, all right?
跳出常规好吗
My sister's a wine rep, okay?
我姐姐是葡萄酒代理商
And there's an event tonight.
今晚有场活动
Um, uh, Danny, sorry. I can't go out tonight.
丹尼抱歉我今晚没法出去
Um, I'm dressed like a chubby Marty McFly.
我穿得像是肥胖版的马蒂·麦克弗莱
I mean, obviously, you don't care so much about your appearance.
我是说显然你也不大在乎你的外表
That one actually hurt a little bit.
那句话其实有点伤人
Danny, I don't think we're up
丹尼我觉得我们不会
for going to some party with a bunch of strangers.
和一群陌生人参加派对
Is that true, guys?
是吗伙计们
This wine -- is it free?
红酒是免费的吗
Hey, you look great.
你看起来很美
I am gonna ignore how surprised you are and say thank you.
我打算忽视你的惊讶语气然后谢谢你
I'm thinking it's time to get back in the game.
我想着我该重返情场了
Good for you. Anybody catch your eye yet?
真好有谁吸引了你的目光吗
Yeah. Right over there.
有就在那边
Don't look. Oh, sorry.
别看啊抱歉
Oh, yeah. Asian Zac Efron, huh?
亚洲版的扎克·埃夫隆[美国演员]啊
Oh, yeah.
是啊
You know who's, like, really good-looking
真正的帅哥是那个
is that guy who looks like a more soulful Keanu Reeves.
更真诚版的基努·里维斯[美国演员]
Oh, wait, no. I'm looking in a mirror.
等等不我在看着镜子
You're me? Oh, I'm you.
你是我吗我是你
You're so stupid.
你真是蠢哭了
You guys got to be kidding me.
你们逗我玩呢吧
We came out so you guys could talk
我们出来是为了让你们
to live, actual human beings, okay?
跟活生生的人们交谈好吗
It's all about confidence.
关键在于自信
I'm going in. Win the friend over first.
我要上了首先拉拢她的朋友