把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E11

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:27 p.m.

你们笑什么呢
What, uh -- what are you guys laughing at?
别会错意了
Uh, pl-- please don't take this the wrong way,
但我们都狠狠吐槽了你一番
but we have been saying some awful things about you.
这样好像能让她更喜欢我们
It seems to make her like us more.
而且我们也许有也许没有模仿你
Also, we may or may not have been doing impressions of you.
比如说你说话超快
Like you got to talk really fast
然后在说话的同时
and find what you're saying
才想到在说些什么
in the middle of what you're saying,
希望大家都会明白你
and hopefully, everybody will understand.
还有你每次亮明观点时
Also, you got to do flappy hands
都会扑腾双手
whenever you got to make a point.
好吗小小鸟好的
Okay, so, okay, baby bird? Okay.
好吧
Oh, yeah, well,
你们说的话根本不重要
It doesn't even matter what you say,
那很明显所以随便啦
and that's obvious, so whatever.
很明显
That's obvious.
怎么了哥们
What's up, bro?
好像你知道我像喝啤酒一样
Wow. It's like you knew I needed a beer.
我还以为你在酒吧呢
I-I thought you were at the bar.
之前是啊直到我发现
I was until I found out
我们的朋友在努力和塞布丽娜搞好关系
our friends are trying to get in on Sabrina's good side
通过吐槽我
by talking crap about me
以及模仿我的行为我其实一点也不在乎但是
and doing impressions that don't bother me at all, but...
我得告诉你小小鸟
You know, I got to tell you, baby bird --
这让我更感激你的忠诚了
It makes me appreciate your loyalty even more, huh?
为什么我的啤酒被人喝了一半
What -- why is my beer half done
尝起来像是鲍勃·马利的专辑
and taste like a Bob Marley album?
贾斯丁谢谢你邀请我...
Justin, thanks for having me -- oh.
看来丈夫回家了
Looks like the husband is home.
这样我就成小三了
Guess that makes me the other man.
好吧没错凯文来了
Okay, all right, yes, Kevin is here.
你觉得自己可以淡定点吗
Do you think you could just calm down?
知道吗你是个叛徒
You know what? You're a betrayer!
你是个叛徒好吗
You are a betrayer! All right?
在一段婚姻中你不该这样做
This is not how you're supposed to act in a marriage!
你真能说
Oh -- oh, you're one to talk.
你知道吗他每天都去酒吧
do you know that he comes to the bar every day --
从来不问我过得怎么样
never asks me how my day is.
就是这个终结了我的婚姻
That's exactly what ended my marriage --
这个以及在监狱里变基了一点
That and, uh, turning a little gay in prison.
不敢相信你为我们的死敌
I can't believe you made a vegetable plate
做了蔬菜拼盘
for our sworn enemy.
你偷了他的灯他可能报♥警♥的
You stole his light. He could have called the cops.
他不会报♥警♥的他就是罪犯好吗
He's not gonna call the cops. He's a criminal, all right?
我会的我会报♥警♥的
Yes, I will. I'll do it.
我只需要72小时不吸毒让尿里没有药物
All I need is 72 hours to get my urine clean,
然后砰砰砰我又是医生了
and then boom, boom, boom -- I'm a doctor again.
你是医生吗
You were a doctor?!
我的处理方式是对的
I handled this right.
凯文和我像成年人一样坐下
All right, Kevin and I sat down like adults,
我们和平地解决了问题
and we worked it out peacefully.
他不会拿灯对着我们这边
He's not gonna have the light in our direction
我们可以好好睡觉了
so that we could sleep.
问题解决了
Problem solved.
不不不
No, no, no, no, no, no.
那是在丹尼闯进来
That was before Danny came blazing in here,
激起了我少女杀手之心之前
getting all up in my lady catcher.
现在我想要他道歉了
Now I want an apology from... him.
-真的吗 -是啊
- Oh, really? - Yeah.
我才不会向你道歉
Well...You're not gonna get an apology from me.
等等
And hold on --
让我下载其它信息
Let me download some other information for you.
史蒂文·西格尔超级肥而且不擅长空手道
Steven Seagal's fat, and he's bad at karate.
你的嘴刚写了一张
Your mouth just wrote a check
你的身体无法兑现的支票哥们
that your body can't cash, bro.
举起手来举起手来
Hands up. Hands up.
举起手来
Hands up!
空手道空手道空手道空手道
Karate! Karate! Karate! Karate!
空手道好了
Karate! All righty!
好了好了
All right. All right.
好了
All right. Hey!
你俩显然对空手道
Now, you two obviously don't know
一无所知
anything about karate.
咱能别闹了吗
Can we just stop this?
好吧
Okay, fine.
谢谢[日语]
Arigato.
荞麦面
Soba noodles.
我还是不打算道歉
I'm still not apologizing.
好吧
Fine.
我告诉你我要怎么做吧
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.
既然你俩这么要好
Since you two are so tight,
我让贾斯丁替你道歉
I'm gonna let Justin apologize for you.
知道吗
Well, you know what?
他不会那样做的因为我们是一支团队
He's never gonna do that because we're a team.
-凯文 -小小鸟不要
- Kevin. - Hey, baby bird, no.
-你在干什么 -凯文
- What are you doing? - Kevin!
我代表丹尼向你道歉
On behalf of Danny, I want to apologize.
对不起他那样做了
I'm sorry for the way that he acted.
谢谢
Thank you.
我现在要拿起我的灯
I'm just gonna grab my light now,
离开这里
and I'm gonna get out of here.
你要忙吗
You need help?
老子可以的
I got it!
老子还是可以的
I still got it!
那时凯文和丹尼
That is when Kevin and Danny
进行了世界上最诡异的空手道战斗
had the world's weirdest karate fight.
你知道一个抢劫犯最近和我说了什么吗
You know what a mugger recently told me?
在空手道游戏中很出色
Being good at video-game karate
并不意味着你在现实中也很擅长空手道
does not make you good at regular karate.
那个女人抢走了我的钱包和自尊
That lady took my wallet and my dignity.
大伙儿都在啊
Hey. The gang's all here.
你们要不要取笑我啊
You making fun of me, or what?
天啊少自以为是了丹尼
God. Get over yourself, Danny.
并非所有事都是关于你的
Not everything is about you.
各位你们知道我喜欢塞布丽娜哪点吗
Hey, you guys, you know what I like about Sabrina?
她从来不在我背后说我坏话
She never talks crap behind my back.
总是当面打脸
She always says it right to my face.
谢谢塞布丽娜
Thanks, Sabrina.
没人会爱你
Aww. No one will ever love you.
丹尼我不知道你为什么
Danny, I don't know why you're making
对一盏灯这么小题大做
such a big deal about a light.
重点不在于灯而是友谊
It was never about the light. It was always about friendship.
你们都知道我会挺你们
Now, you guys all know that I have your back, all right?
我们好像都忘了这点
Well, we seemed to forget about that
那时我们都在取笑丹尼
when we were all busy making fun of Danny
和他的扑腾手就为了和塞布丽娜搞好关系
and his flappy hands just to get in good with Sabrina.
布雷特没搞错吧
And, Brett, really?
我是说我觉得如果不是我
I mean, I feel like if it wasn't for me
催促你约男人出去
pushing you to ask guys out,
你会还在和长得像橄榄球进攻前锋的女人约会
then you'd still be dating women that look like offensive linemen
因为出于某种原因那是你喜欢的类型
cause that's your type for some reason.
我喜欢体型庞大有控制欲的女人
I did like them large and in charge.
还有你俩都不敢看我
And the two of you, you guys can't even look at me.
我好像能看见内疚感
It's like I can see the weight of the guilt,
压在你们肩上
just pressing down on your shoulders.
好像我骑在自己肩膀上一样
It's like I'm giving myself a piggyback ride.
还有莱丝莉我的姐姐我的家人
And, Leslie, really, my sister, my own flesh and blood?
我要问你一个问题
Well, I got a question for you.
是谁发誓绝不把这件事告诉别人
Who was the man to vow never to tell anybody
那就是你出生时
that the day you were born,