把妹大作战（2014）

Undateable S01E01

Part 3 Dec. 2, 2020, 3:25 p.m.

That's the key.
那是关键
Excuse me?
你好啊
I was just over there,
我刚在那边
and I noticed that you were absolutely glowing.
发现你真是光彩夺目
I was wondering when your baby might be due.
我在想你的孩子什么时候出生呢
I'm not pregnant.
我没怀孕
You look like you're pregnant.
你看起来像是怀孕了
I don't care.
我无所谓
I was actually just interested in your friend, anyway.
我其实只是对你朋友感兴趣
Great party, huh?
这派对不错啊
I'm into the ladies.
我喜欢妹子
You know, the breasts and the butts and...
丰乳肥臀还有...
fallopian tubes.
输卵管
Okay, Brett, so I think I see one problem
布雷格我觉得我发现了
with the way you're trying to meet guys.
你和男人打招呼方式的问题
Brett, I want you to go tell that hot piece of dude
布雷格我想让你去告诉那个帅哥
that you're not into girls.
你对女人不感兴趣
Oh, bloody hell.
该死的
And, Bursk, you come on way too strong, all right?
伯斯科你太强势了
Go apologize.
去道歉
And you need to get in there, too.
你得该去和人搭讪
It's time to leave the nest, baby bird.
该离开鸟巢了小小鸟
You are so annoying.
你真烦人
All right, man. Get in there. Your turn.
好吧过去吧该你了
No, thanks.
不要了
It's not like there's anyone out here
这里又没有人
I could put on my "Potential wife" List...
能上我的"可能老婆"名单
if I kept a list like that.
如果我有那种名单
Shut up, Shelly.
闭嘴谢利
I didn't say anything.
我啥也没说啊
You did that look that you do.
你做出了那副表情
Yes, I did.
是啊
Come on, stay. I'll make you breakfast.
留下来吧我给你做早餐
I should go.
我该走了
Bye.
拜拜
Justin.
贾斯丁
Susma--sum--sum, Justin.
苏思苏... 这是贾斯丁
Wait a minute -- are you just getting home now from last night?
等等你昨晚出去了现在才回来吗
If I say yes, do you promise not to make a big deal out of it?
如果我说是你能保证别小题大做吗
Baby bird!
小小鸟
Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin!
贾斯丁贾斯丁贾斯丁贾斯丁
Justin! Justin! Justin! Justin!
贾斯丁贾斯丁贾斯丁贾斯丁
You are super good at that.
你超级擅长啊
Details, dude. We want the details.
细节啊我们要细节
How was it? Were there candles?
怎么样有蜡烛吗
Boys, I just made the magic happen like I do.
伙计们我就像平常一样施展魅力
Did you do your, uh, pillow thing?
你表演了你拿枕头闷死人那一套吗
Well, kiddo, I'm real proud of you.
孩子我真为你感到骄傲
Thanks, man.
谢谢
Then I was out like a herd of turtles.
然后我就慢吞吞地走了
What did you just say?
你刚说什么
Oh, it was just something she said last night.
那是她昨晚说的话
No, no, no, no, no, no.
不要啊不要啊不要啊
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
不要啊不要啊不要啊不要啊不要啊不要啊
Is this her?
这是她吗
Why do you have a picture of Leslie in your phone?
你手♥机♥里怎么有莱丝莉的照片
That's my sister!
那是我姐姐
This is very tense.
气氛紧张啊
What's the emergency this time?
这次是什么急事
You slept with my roommate!
你跟我的室友睡了
Justin...
贾斯丁
is your roommate?
是你室友吗
Oh, my god.
天啊
Danny, I swear I had no idea.
丹尼我发誓我不知道
I'm so sorry.
真抱歉
It's not your fault.
这不是你的错
I mean, how could you have known?
你也不知道啊
Listen, thanks for always being so honest with me.
谢谢你总是对我如此坦诚
I knew he was your roommate.
我知道他是你室友
Damn it, Leslie!
该死的莱丝莉
What about the Asian Zac Efron?
那个亚洲版的扎克·埃夫隆呢
He went home with white Rihanna!
他和白人版蕾哈娜回家去了
And then I met Justin,
然后我碰上了贾斯丁
and by the time I figured out who he was,
我得知他身份的时候
we were already in our underwear,
我们已经脱得只剩内衣了
and I'd optimistically worn my good bra.
我还乐观地穿上了性感内衣
I don't want to hear it.
我不想听
Well, somebody has to, Danny.
总得有人听丹尼
it's an $80 bra, and it hurts to wear it, okay?
那是八十块的胸罩穿起来很疼的
You ever try and squash your nuts together
你试过把蛋蛋挤在一起
so a bunch of guys can stare at 'em?
好让一群男人盯着看吗
I brought that kid to your mixer
我把那孩子带去你的派对
so he could meet a desperate woman, not you.
是为了让他遇见一个饥渴女人不是你
I am a desperate woman, you idiot.
我就是个饥渴女人你个蠢货
I am 30-something-year-old divorced woman,
我是个三十几岁的离婚女人
so when a nice guy walks up to me with nice things to say,
所以当一个好男人走过来对我说着奉承话
and I have my one good thong on,
而我穿着性感丁字裤
my thong and I are gonna listen.
我的丁字裤和我都会听的
I'm sorry, Les.
真抱歉莱丝
You know, you deserve to have fun, too.
你也该享受享受
I just hope I taught him enough to please you.
我只希望我教了他足够知识来让你爽翻天
Oh, gross! Too far. I'm sorry. I got I don't know
真恶心太过分了对不起我不知道...
I don't know why I said that.
我不知道我为什么那样说
I don't even know why I put myself back out there.
我都不知道我为什么要重返情场
It was so humiliating.
太丢人了
Les, what happened?
莱丝怎么了
What did he do?
他做了什么
He wouldn't even have sex with me.
他都不肯跟我做♥爱♥
He said I seemed sad and buzzy,
他说我看起来很悲伤还喝醉了
and he didn't want to take advantage of that,
他不想占便宜
So we just laid there staring at the ceiling all night
所以我们整晚就躺着望着天花板
like two sad paralyzed people
就像两个碰巧被安排在
they just happened to put in the same hospital bed.
同一张医院病床上的可怜瘫痪病人
I mean, is anyone ever gonna want me again, Danny?
我是说还有人会想要我吗丹尼
Hey, stop. Come here.
别说了过来吧
What kind of a man are you?!
你是什么男人啊
How dare you not bang my sister!
你好大的胆子居然不上我姐姐
Um, can we talk about this in private, please?
咱们能私下聊吗
Oh, this seems like it'd be a lot more fun in public.
这事公开聊可有趣得多
All she wanted was to be used for sex,
她是想被人干一炮
but, oh, no, Justin couldn't do it.
但是贾斯丁就是做不到
He's too nice to take advantage of a buzzy girl.
他人太好了不肯占一个醉酒姑娘的便宜
He's an angel.
他简直是个天使
Wait. So, nothing happened?
等等所以什么事都没发生吗
No.
没有
And you want to know what else?
你知道还有什么吗
If I had the chance, I would not have sex with her again.
如果我有机会我也不会跟她做♥爱♥的
You watch your mouth when you talk about my sister.
你说我姐姐的时候注意点
I would take her to my bedroom
我会带她去我卧室
and not make love to her all night long,
一晚上都不跟她做♥爱♥
and then the next morning,
然后第二天早上
I would take her to brunch.
我会带她去吃早午餐
Then I would meet her friends
然后我会和她朋友们见面
and listen to their boring stories,
听她们说无聊的故事
and when they were done, I'd ask for more.
她们说完后我还会让她们再说
You know what? We're through.
知道吗我们绝交
You're no longer a lobo.
你不再是"狼人"了
Oh, my god. How am I gonna live?
天啊人家要怎么活啊
I'm no longer a lobo?
我不再是"狼人"了
Oh, man. My whole world is over.
天啊我整个世界都完蛋了