纽约客再现（2015）

The New Yorker Presents S01E07

Part 2 Sept. 1, 2020, 10:14 a.m.

this last month has just been boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
上个月就像砰砰爆♥炸♥一样
this last month has just been boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
德克萨斯州位居全美青少年怀孕比例的第五名
在这种安排下
In this type of setting,
是的你要会照顾人
yes, you're getting that nursing.
你懂得医疗
You're getting that medical part,
但是你不止要治疗身体上的不适
but you're treating more than the body.
你也不止要治疗心理上的不适
You're treating more than the mind.
你得治疗这整个人
You're treating this person
这需要有各方面的考量
that's got all these different dimensions.
护士-家庭合作项目
The Nurse-Family Partnership Program
已经成为卫♥生♥部♥最重要的
has been one of the most important programs
项目之一
in the health department--
这个项目真正地影响着年轻的妈妈们
a program that truly impacts young mothers.
护士们进入她们的生活长达两年
The nurses go into their lives for that two years
给她们信息
and just get them some information
和鼓励
and encouragement
确实改变了她们的生活
that literally changes their lives,
我觉得永远改变了
I believe, forever.
我叫南希·克鲁克丝我住在橘子郡
My name's Nancy Crooks, and I live in Orange.
十月份我就19岁了
I'll be 19 in October.
我们有很多宠物
We have a lot of pets.
我给你看看菲奥娜
I'll show you Fiona.
想到后面来么
Like to get back over here?
嘿来这边
Hey, come here.
来这儿好了
Come here. It's okay.
我们发现她的时候她还是个小小的婴儿
We've had her since she was an itty-bitty baby.
从树上掉下来了
She fell out of a tree.
她不是典型的浣熊
She's not a typical raccoon.
我怀孕两三个月的时候认识了妮可
I met Nicole when I was, like, two, three months pregnant.
我喜欢妮可真的
I like Nicole. I do.
她开放诚实
She's open. She's honest.
我需要有人说说话的时候她一定在
When I need somebody to talk to, she's there.
好了我看看
All right. Let's see.
他的小软囟门--我刚才摸了摸
His little soft spot-- I felt it earlier.
感觉还不错
It felt fine,
有时候孩子脱水的话
but sometimes, when they get dehydrated,
它就会往里陷
it can start to really sink in.
你曾经摸过他的囟门么
Have you-- Have you felt his soft spot before?
- 没 - 没有么
- No. - No?
我都不知道它在哪儿
I don't know even where it's at.
好吧我其实之前看你摸过
Okay. Well, I saw you rubbing it,
它就在这儿
so it you just-- right up in here.
就那儿感觉到了么
Right there? You feel that?
软的能摸到他的小头骨
It's soft. You can feel, like, his little skull bones,
但是当你摸到那个小--
but then you can feel that little--
我摸他那儿他会疼么
It'll hurt him if I touch it?
不会但是如果你--如果这样做
No. I mean, if you're-- if you're doing this,
就会有点问题
you're going to cause some issues,
但是如果就光摸摸
but if you're just rubbing over it,
相信你的直觉
just trust your own instincts--
- 嗯 - 你是个妈妈好么
- Mm-hmm. - ...as a mom. Okay?
那是个挺短的小睡啊
That was a very short little catnap.
小猪早上好
Good morning, pig.
我叫卡特里娜
My name is Catalina.
我16岁
I'm 16 years old.
我女儿叫凯莉
My daughter's name is Kylie.
她超棒的
She's amazing.
当我拿到卡特里娜的案子时她才15岁
When I got Catalina on my caseload, she was 15.
我知道她不在学校已经不上学了
I knew she wasn't in school, like going to school,
但是她在线上一个12年级的课程
but she was doing an online K-12 kind of thing.
天啊
God.
她自己还是个孩子呢
She's a child, really,
有些事情不是16岁的人
and that's not something at 16 years old
能负起这个责任的
you are responsible for keeping up with.
通常都交给父母
You usually give that to your parents.
但是她的妈妈不在身边
Um, but with her mom gone--
她的妈妈现在在服刑
her mom being in jail right now--
你知道
you know, there's...
她做不了什么
nothing she can do.
有妮可在挺好的
Catalina: Nicole's fun to be around.
起初我有点害羞
At first I was shy to start,
但是现在我信任她所以我什么都告诉她
but now I trust her, so I tell her everything.
好现在告诉我
Okay. So fill me in
你跟路易斯怎么样
on what's going on with you and Louis.
现在他说要搬去亚特兰大
And now he's talking about moving to Atlanta, so--
为什么他有什么计划啊
For what-- what's his plan?
他说他想要开始新生活
He said he wants to start a new life.
那是个挺远的地方开始新生活的
That's a pretty faraway place to start a new life.
他对凯莉怎么想
What's his thoughts about Kylie?
他想要把她带走但是我说不行
I said he was going to take her, but I told him no.
我建议现在就开始
My advice would be to go ahead
讨论一下监护权的问题
and-- and just start working on custody.
我不是说要拿走他的监护权
I'm not saying taking custody from him.
而是开始一段共同监护
Working on a shared custody with each other
这样你俩都能成为她生活的一部分
so that both of you could be a part of her life
因为她需要你们两个人
because she needs both of you.
- 是的 - 好
- Oh, yeah? - So--
作为一名家长你的目的
Your goal as a parent
是教给他们你的期望
is to teach them what you expect
以及你想让他们怎么做
and what you want them to do
而不是一直告诉他们不要做什么
versus always telling them what not to do.
梅西她似乎总是在被说
Macy, she's always kind of being told
说她做错了
a lot of what she's doing wrong
而她做对了那么多事也没人说
and not a whole lot of what she's doing right.
我从来不知道当妈妈是这样的
I never knew what being a mom meant
直到我生下这个小姑娘把她抱在怀里
till, like, I had and held this little girl,
没有任何事情是我不愿意为她做的
and, like, there's not anything I wouldn't do for her.
嘿
Hey!
让我们来试着注意一下
We're going to try to pay attention
我们对她一共使用了几次否定词
to how many times we use a negative on her.
还有很多时候当你使用我们这个词
And a lot of times, when you use the word "we"
而不是你们
versus "you,"
你就是在告诉她嘿我们在一起经历这件事
you're telling her, "Hey, we're in this together."
布瑞拉当我们回家的时候
So, Briella, when we come in the house,
我们把鞋子就放在这里
we put our shoes right here.
这样你对于要表达否定意思的时候换一种说法
So you change what you can say in a negative way
变成说我们是这么做的
and turn it and say, "This is what we do."
我不想让她感觉到就是一直在惹麻烦
I don't want her to just feel like she's, like, constantly in trouble.
- 对的 - 因为那样
- Right. - Because that's not--
是不对的
that's not okay, like--
所以这样做很好
So good job on that
因为你有能力去调整她的行为
because you have that ability to regulate her.
我有
I got--
我无法想象没有妮可的人生
I can't imagine having Nicole gone from my life.
就像就算这个项目结束了
Like, even though the program will end,
我知道她会一直在我和女儿的身边
I know that, like, she's going to be there for me and Bri.
我也会一直在她身边
And I'll always be there for her, too,
她就像我的姐妹一样
like, she's like a sister I never had,
好像是某个真正能关心你的人
like, someone who actually cares
还把我说的话当回事
and values what I have to say.
实在很难期望你一边生气勃勃
It's really hard to expect someone to...flourish
一边做一个伟大的妈妈而你一直
and be this great mom when you're telling her
告诉她老是做错这做错那
what she's doing wrong all the time.
我想那就是为什么我跟梅西能有共鸣
I think that's a little bit why I can empathize with Macy
因为我并没有呃真正
because I didn't have that, uh, really...
与我妈妈很亲
close relationship with my mom.
这就是我为什么要做这些
that's why I do this:
因为当我怀孕的时候
because when I got pregnant
我给我妈妈打电♥话♥
and I made that phone call to my mom,
她对我的第一反应是
her first response to me was