纽约客再现（2015）

The New Yorker Presents S01E04

Part 3 Sept. 1, 2020, 10:14 a.m.

到那边去
我教过很多新手和专业人士
I teach a lot of newbies and professionals.
他们很多人叫我摔跤妈妈
A lot of them call me Mama Lucha.
和"日本夫人"练习过肩摔过肩摔是从前面攻击
这就是巨星诞生的地方就在这个拳击场
This is where the stars are born, in this ring,
我们也打闹
and we play around, too,
因为这不全是训练
because it's not all about grr.
很有意思
It's fun.
在我家我六岁的时候
In my household, at the age of 6,
就遭受了性♥虐♥待
the sexual abuse started.
那人说 "闭嘴你一个字都不能说出去
And it was like, "Shut up. You don't say nothing.
我会踹你屁♥股♥
"I'll kick your butt. I'll--
你的父母不会相信你的"
Your parents are not going to believe you."
到16岁时有三个人虐待过我
I had three abusers by the age of 16.
17岁的时候我认识了这个男人
At the age of 17, I met this man.
我们去了他家吃了披萨和别的
We go to his house. We eat pizza and stuff.
然后有事发生了我被下药了
And then something happened. And I was put to sleep.
当我醒来有两个男人在我身上
And when I woke up, two men were on top of me.
那是最后一次我遭遇性♥虐♥待
And that was the last time I was going to get abused.
我当时是一个充满仇恨和怒火的年轻人
I was this bitter, angry youngster,
我视人类为目标
and I saw human beings as objects.
我所有的怒火和怨恨
All my rage, all my resentment,
我都发泄到所有人身上
I would take it out on everybody.
摔跤是我最好的药物治疗之一
Wrestling has been one of my best medications
因为摔跤很好斗很男子气概
because it's so aggressive. It's so macho.
交叉笨蛋
帮助我拿出我从未想过
It just helped me to get that courage out
会有的勇气
that I never thought I could have.
我认为我就是个软弱的男同
I thought I was this weak little gay guy
肩膀像这样耸着
that came with his shoulders like this.
自♥由♥摔跤里你必须昂首挺胸
And in lucha libre you've got to stand tall.
德克萨斯州厄尔巴索市
我的天啊
Oh, my gosh.
我昨天才剪得头
I just cut my hair yesterday,
我好后悔
and I so regret it.
我的头发像法拉·福塞特(好莱坞女演员)那样的蓬松
I have it, like, fluffy like Farrah Fawcett style.
现在我剃掉昨晚剪得
and now I shaved it, and I cut it last night,
然后我才顿悟我对自己的头发做了什么
and I'm like, "What did I do to my hair?"
我的妈妈很有魅力
My mom, she was very glamorous.
该去做美甲了
Time to do my nails.
她每天都化妆
She'd do her make-up every day.
她戴墨镜
She wore her sunglasses.
她以前穿的很漂亮
And she used to dress beautifully.
我的穿衣打扮风格都是遗传她
And-- And-- And that's where I got the--
我妈妈对我是无条件的爱
My mom gave me that unconditional love.
不管我怎么生活
regardless of how I was living,
她都能参与进来
she could relate to a lot of my story.
她经历了很多
She went through a lot.
她被我的父亲殴打
She was beat up by my father,
他是一个有施暴倾向的酒鬼
who was very abusive and alcoholic,
我见过她被打得流血不止
and I saw her bleed a lot.
我在她身上看到人生的意义
And life for me-- and I saw it for her--
跌倒了再爬起来
it was like we fall down, but then we get up,
再跌倒再爬
and then we fall down, and we get up.
但是她不会让我一落千丈
But she wouldn't let me hit my bottom.
她是我的基石
She was my rock.
当妈妈开始生病
When Mom started getting sick,
我很心痛
it was very heartbreaking.
已经过去很久了但还是感觉恍如昨日
It's been a while, and it's still like yesterday.
她的去世
When she passed away,
是我人生中最悲伤的一天
that was the saddest day of my life.
我陷入一个深不可测的黑洞
I went into the deep, deep black hole.
我知道...
I knew that, um...
我需要振作起来
that I needed to get strength or something
因为
because...
她没法再来照顾我了
she was not here to save me no more.
事情变得很糟
It went ugly,
我服用毒品来麻痹自己的感觉
and I used hardcore drugs to numb my feelings.
脑中全是
It was all about that little kid...
一个小人在说
in my head, man.
没人要你
You're a reject.
你不配活着
You don't deserve to be alive.
你是个无名小卒
You're nobody.
你不会有所成就的
You're never going to accomplish nothing.
男妓娘炮同性恋
The puto, the sissy, the queer.
21岁那年我为世界冠军的荣誉而战
At 21, I was coming up for the world title.
我们出去玩
So we went out.
我喝的烂醉如泥还嗑了药
I got-- pff-- crazy drunk and high,
当我们回到家后我开始割自己手腕
and when we went home, I started cutting my wrists.
我把两只胳膊上的手腕都割了
I started cutting my wrists on both arms.
我的一个异装朋友发现了我
My other exótico friend found me there,
距离锦标赛还有一周
and it was a week away from the championship match.
在1991年1月28日开赛
It was January 28, 1991.
我排除万难参加了比赛
I went through hell and back for that match.
然后输了
And I lost the world title.
但是1992年我赢了
But I won it in 1992.
就好比凤♥凰♥涅槃
It was like the phoenix rises one more time.
我开始觉得自己很棒
And I started like, "All right, you're good."
你的名气都是靠自己的努力
已经过去很多年了
到现在为止27年
我和我父亲之间的感情开始有所缓和
My father and my relationship started getting better.
我开始意识到我必须要原谅他
I came to the realization that I had to forgive him.
很多人告诉我
There's a lot of people
你怎么能这样
that tell me "How can you do that?"
童年经历让我受伤但我不会忘记
It hurts. I don't forget.
那是我生命中的一部分
But it's part of my past.
我希望你能在摔跤界
有所收获但不用被痛打
再也不用
墨西哥华雷斯城
今天我要摔跤的地方
Where I'm wrestling today
是我第一次上自♥由♥摔跤课的地方
is a place where I took my first lucha libre lesson,
同样也是我出生的地方
and it's the place where Cassandro was born.
意义重大就好比回到原点
So it's like something big. It's like a full circle.
你好 Cassandro
Hola, Cassandro.
我在很多地方比赛过摔跤
I've wrestled many places,
但是没有一个能比上家乡
but there's always, like, nothing like home.
没有什么能比得上家
There's nothing like home.
谢谢
Gracias.
在摔跤界他们叫我Cassandro
Now in lucha libre, they're like, "Hey, Cassandro!"
我觉得不正常
That was not normal for me
因为如果有人亲了我我就觉得你想从我这得到什么
because if you kissed me, you wanted something from me.
如今我看人的眼光不一样了
I see men different today now.
我所有的摔跤手朋友给了我勇气
All my wrestler friends, they gave me the courage
我可以做这一行
that I could do this
我属于这个世界
and that I belong in this world.
从小是个害羞
You know, coming from that little kid,
被虐待的孩子
that more shy and being abused,
变成拳击场的重要人物
to being somebody in the ring--
感觉像是自己在走猫步
it's like I do a catwalk,
快看我
and I'm like, "Look at me now.
看看我现在
Look at me now."
一旦走起猫步
And once you do that catwalk, it's like--
那就是其中美的地方
And that's the beautiful part of it
因为当我摔跤时
because, when I'm wrestling,
我告诉自己我会照看你的小朋友
I'll tell myself "I'll take care of you, little kid.
没人能伤害到我们没人会虐待我们
"Nobody's going to hurt us. Nobody's going to abuse us.
我们安全了我们自♥由♥了
We're good now. We're free."
然后我开始发光发热
And then I get to shine.
【BGM: Gloria Gaynor - I Will Survive】
象征与事实
枪♥支♥ 汽车和美国
我已经五十多岁了
I'm in my fifth decade of life,
但我刚刚学会了开车
but I have only just learned how to drive.
尽管这些年一直反对汽车
And despite having been anti-car
大肆宣传骑自行车
and ostentatiously pro-bike for all those years,