纽约客再现（2015）

一旦我有存下来的钱了
As soon as I can get, you know, some money saved up.
这很好
That's awesome.
嗯 然后现在 你在做饭吗
Well, and then right now... Are you cooking right now?
嗯 我在卡尔那做饭
Well, I'm a cook at Carl's Jr. Right now.
-嗯 -这不像是
- Okay. - It's not like...
这不重要 你总要迈出第一步
That doesn't matter, though. You have to start somewhere.
重要的事情是
The fact of the matter is
你想去做点什么了
is you're trying to, you know, do something,
这很好 我在毒品家庭长大
which is awesome. I grew up in a drug house.
我不知道你成长的环境怎么样 但肯定
I'm not sure of your background growing up, but definately...
你知道的
you know, coming...
我长大的时候 有舅舅和舅妈
When I was growing up, I had my uncle and my aunt,
然后他们 都在其中
and, like, they're all... all in it,
像是我妈妈和其他人那样
like my mom and everything,
他们都在房♥子里一起
they were all, like, in the house together,
他们在后面有一个小屋子
and they had, like, a little shed in back.
你觉得他们在里面干什么
What do you think they were doing in there?
我是差不多上七年级的时候来的这
I came here, like, seventh grade
因为我妈妈2005年去世了
because my mother died in 2005,
所以我祖父带着我
so my grandpa took me.
我开始看 你知道 世界伟大的厨师吗
I started out watching... You know Great Chefs Of the World?
像是以前公共广播公♥司♥那种节目
It's, like, an old PBS show.
我是说 是那种老古董
I mean, it's like... This is old, old stuff.
这是
This is...
90年代了
the '90s.
我外祖母会做周日晚餐
My grandma would do Sunday suppers.
我表亲们会过来
My cousins would go over,
然后我们就聚在一起做饭
and we would all just get together and cook.
我外祖母会坐在我对面
My grandma would sit over me
向我解释如何调味
and explain how to season something.
她向我们灌输着旧社会的感性
She just instilled into us an old-world sensibility,
对别人尊重
a respect for people...
你要有礼节和礼貌
You're courteous, you have manners.
她让我明白了我们生活中好的事情是什么
She helped me to understand what is good in our lives.
我像海绵一样吸收
I just sucked it up like a sponge.
然后她告诉我 你必须离开
And she told me, "You have to leave."
你必须离开这
You have to get out of here."
我和我爸爸谈起过去加州
Me and my dad had talked about going to California.
他说 我从那边过来
He was saying, "I'll just come out there.
我来接你走 我们离开
I'll just pick you up, and we'll just leave."
我爸爸最后一次试图过来的时候
The last time my dad tried to come,
埃米特不让我出去
Emmett wouldn't let me out of the house.
我记得我爸爸说小克雷格
I remember my dad just saying "Little Craig",
出来 但我不能 因为门是锁着的
"Come outside," But I couldn't because the doors were all locked.
在那之后 我外祖母打电♥话♥过来
And after that, my grandma called
跟我说 小克雷格 你♥爸♥爸走了
and said, "Hey, Little Craig, your dad's gone."
我想她是在说
I thought that was her calling
我爸要来接我
to tell me that he's coming to pick me up
去加州 结果不是的 他走了 去世了
for me to go back to California. No, he's gone... died.
我就那样举着电♥话♥
I just sat there for, like,
听着占线的声音呆坐了两小时
two hours with the phone just beeping.
感觉 太突然了
That was, like, an extreme sudden
因为他被一辆车撞了
because he was... he got hit by a car.
我外祖母过了一年也去世了
And then my grandma died the following year.
我外祖母去世后 我就过来住了
When my grandma died, I just came and stayed here,
只有我一个人 在这
just, like, by myself, like, in this house.
我妈妈不知道 她妈妈已经过世了
My mom had no idea that, you know, her mom had died,
我不想回去
and I didn't want to go back over there.
电源已经被关了 但我就在那里
The power had already been shut off, but I just stayed there.
我同母异父的妹妹被带走了
My half-sister was taken away for bringing a spoon to school
因为拿了一个有烧过海♥洛♥因♥残留物的勺子去学校
that was burned and heroin residue on it.
她被安排进了寄养系统
She went into the foster system.
一个表亲告诉我
One of my cousins told me,
埃米特死了 你妈妈在一个疯狂的房♥子里
"Emmett's dead, and your mom is in a crazy house."
在毒理学检测报告中
On the toxicology report,
他没有吸入致死剂量的冰♥毒♥
he didn't have enough meth in him to kill him.
他死于头部钝力损伤
He died of blunt force trauma to the head.
他被一个钝的东西
He got hit in the side of the head
击中了头部的一边
with a blunt object.
一位刚到案发现场的警♥察♥说
One of the cops, when he first arrived onto the scene,
我妈妈走近他问 她有没有杀了埃米特
my mom approached him and asked if she had killed him.
我只能把自己剥离开来
I just detached myself from it.
这是我唯一可以保持理智的方法
That was the only thing that I could do to stay sane.
我妈妈选择了毒品 那是她的选择
My mom chose the drugs, and that was her choice.
我离开了亚利桑那州
I left Arizona
和包里背的衣服和自行车一起
with pretty much the clothes on my back and my bike.
有些人没有意识到
Some people don't realize
改变世界是他们可以控制的
that they have the control to change the world.
你只要选择说是或否
All you have to do is just say yes or no.
在一个星期五的晚上
On a Friday night, I walked
我走进了一个在俄勒冈州波特兰的餐馆
into a busy restaurant in Portland, Oregon.
厨师的名字是托马斯·麦克劳克林
The chef's name was Thomas McLaughlin.
我说 你好 我想来做菜
I said, "Hey, I want to come in and do dishes"
学着做 我不在乎 我可以免费做
to learn. I don't care. I'll do dishes for free."
他说的第一句话是 你是个该死的傻瓜么
The first words out of his mouth was "Are you a fucking idiot?"
好啊 你想做的话 明天早上六点过来
"Okay, if you want to do this, be here at 6:00 tomorrow morning."
仅凭激♥情♥ 是不够完成你想做的事的
Passion is not enough to do what it is that you want to do.
人们常常认为可以 但不是的
People think it is. It's not.
我外祖母一直这样说
My grandma would say it all the time:
放手去做 去做你必须要做的事情
just do it. Just do the thing that you have to do.
如果这很复杂 那就去努力
If it's a lot of work, it's a lot of work.
但有更糟糕的事情
But there are worse things.
因为我一边上学
Because I was also working in a restaurant
一边在餐馆工作
at the time while I was going to school,
我只是觉得 我要去学校
I was just "Okay, I'm just going to stay in school
因为我想要文凭
because I want to get a degree
只是向自己证明我做到了
just to prove to myself that I did it."
我说过我要去做 所以我就做了
You know, I said I was going to do it, so I did it.
你在学老式法国技术
You're learning old-school French technique,
用法国方法做法式母亲酱
French mother sauce with the French Brigade system.
一旦我决定 好吧 我不打算鬼混着
Once I decided, "Okay, I'm not going to screw around
如法炮制我在前一个餐厅看到的东西
replicating stuff that I saw at previous restaurants.
我要深入进去
I'm going to go through,
我要去思考
and I'm going to just think
我喜欢什么口味 纹理
about what I like about flavors, textures,
温度 颜色
temperatures, colors."
这道菜 雪中狼
That dish, Wolves In the Snow,
我在思考关于概念上的暴♥力♥和美
that I was thinking conceptually about beauty and violence,
与朴实的味道
and the dish had these earthy flavors
这些味道很柔和 但看起来很有攻击性
and these feminine flavors, but it looked really aggressive.
看起来像凶杀现场
It looked like a kill scene.
我们第一次做的时候
When we first did it,
我们得提供松木肥皂蒸过的毛巾
we'd serve them pine-soaped steamed towels.
你要用手吃
You'd eat it with your hands,
这吸引了人们的注意
and it got people's attention.
我年轻一点的时候 做16个人的聚会
When I was younger, doing parties of
烹饪25道菜 那时候只有我和一个洗碗机
16 people, doing 25 courses with just one dishwasher and me,
我最好的课程是学会相信别人
my greatest lesson was learning to trust people.
我建立狼嘴餐厅的时候
When I started Wolvesmouth,
我整个目标是不做餐馆
my whole goal was to not do a restaurant.
而是公共晚宴
Wolvesmouth is a communal dinner party,
有点像以前的沙龙
kind of like the old-world salon.
我们只是碰巧提供餐馆级别的食物
We just happen to be making restaurant grade food.
就是有这种态度
It was just having that attitude
我们会这么做
of, you know, we're just going to do this.
你来这的时候 不知道距离在哪
When you come here, people don't know where the space is.
不知道菜单上会有什么
They don't know what the menu's going to be.
你在一个邮件列表上注册
You're signing up on a mailing list.
我们不会让每一个想来的人都来
We're not letting every single person that wants to come eat
因为我们要保持水准
come eat because we have to maintain the standard.