最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S04E14

Part 3 Dec. 1, 2020, 5 p.m.

Orange tree. Orange tree.
橙子树橙子树
Gang, I cannot, in good conscience,
各位我确定
take credit for this booty cigar.
这不是我的
See? It's probably just Jasper's.
看到了吧可能是贾思博的
My gut's telling me it isn't.
直觉告诉我这不是他的
I mean, the density, the sheen, the crumb--
从密度光泽碎屑程度来看
this is an adult.
这是成年人的
I'm telling you, someone's out there.
说真的还有别人在
Yeah. His name's Jasper.
对他叫贾思博
Jasper, huh?
贾思博吗
Well, at least I know he's eating well.
好吧至少我知道他吃得很好
Todd? Huh?
陶德什么
What are you doing? DDoing inventory.
你在干什么整理盘点
You know, of-of the entire house.
对整栋房♥子进行整理盘点
And I came across this box of-- what-what is this?
然后看到一盒...这是什么
Oh, that's right. Tampons.
没错卫生棉
So, you know, um, my tampon records show
我的卫生棉条记录显示
that there were six in the box last week,
这盒里上周有六个
which also jibes with today's count, you know, also six.
而今天刚好还是六个
So, um... I hate to ask this, but I got to do it.
所以我也不想问但我必须问
Is that because none were used or...?
是因为没人用过或者...
Oh, my God!
苍天
Hey, what's going on in here?
你们怎么了
Todd is snooping around,
陶德在到处看
trying to figure out if I'm pregnant yet.
想看看我是不是怀孕了
Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's just, it's been two weeks,
很抱歉可是都过了两周了
and I am champing, guys.
我真的很着急
Maybe I can help. Uh, Erica, when pregnant,
说不定我能帮忙艾瑞卡怀孕时
the female breasts often get tender to the touch.
女性的乳♥房♥♥通常摸起来很柔软
So, using the palm of your hand,
所以你用你的手掌
make a cupping motion and just... Oh, God!
做杯状动作天啊
Look, I am taking a pregnancy test today.
我今天就验孕
Oh, great.
好极了
I will let you know the results as soon as I get them.
结果出来我马上就告诉你
Until then, could you please stay out of my tampon drawer?
在此之前你能离我的卫生棉抽屉远点吗
Sorry. And don't ask me any questions
抱歉不要问我任何
about the sensitivity level of my breasts.
跟我的乳♥房♥♥敏感度相关的问题
I would never.
绝不问
And generally just avoid me, okay?
求你们放过我吧好吗
Todd, I think this might not be your month, bud.
陶德我觉得你这个月不走运
Sounds like someone's getting their period.
听上去像有人要来大姨妈了
Okay, that's it. Get out.
行了都出去
Yeah, okay. Sorry. Thanks for coming.
好抱歉谢谢过来
What you doing, hon?
你在干什么亲爱的
Well, I'm still not convinced that it was Jasper
我还是不信那是贾思博
who left his leavings by the orange tree,
在橙子树下留的排泄物
so just setting up a makeshift alarm system,
所以就设个临时报♥警♥系统
you know, just in case.
以防万一
Whatever floats your boat.
你开心就好
Well, you know, at the very least,
至少这个可以
it'll be a calming presence.
起到安神作用
Yeah.
是啊
It's like friggin' Rainforest Cafe.
就跟雨林咖啡馆一样
Hey. So?
怎么样
Sorry, Todd.
抱歉陶德
Guess you're gonna go hit the sauce.
看来你要去喝酒了
Sorry, did you say something?
你说什么
I-I'm just gonna come out and say it.
我就直说了
You know, if I were trying to get pregnant,
如果我想怀孕
I wouldn't be guzzling wine at every turn
我不会跟青少年开派对一样
like a teen at a hootenanny.
随时都喝酒
I've been having one glass at dinner, tops.
我最多晚餐时喝一杯而已
I saw you having coffee the other day, too.
那天我还看到你喝咖啡了
You know, and you still haven't used
而且你还没用
that meditation stone I got you, so...
我给你的冥想石所以...
Look, could you please stop acting like a crazy person?!
你能别跟个疯子一样了吗
Yeah, and could you please stop acting like you want this?!
那你能别装得跟自己想要一样吗
Because it's pretty clear you don't.
很显然你根本不想要
Look, if this is a preview
如果你这是提前
of how you're gonna be as a father,
告诉我你当父亲的样子
we might need to change this from a co-parenting situation
那我们可能得把一起抚养孩子
to more of a sperm donor situation.
变为你捐精了
Y-You can't do that. Look, if I put a baby in you,
你不能那样如果我让你怀孕
you better believe I'm gonna be a part of its life.
那你最好相信我会成为它生活的一部分
Then maybe you shouldn't put a baby in me.
那说不定你不该让我怀孕
Are you here to get me to have
你是来让我跟你
a pillow fight or something?
玩枕头大战之类的吗
Todd told me the news, so... I just came to see how you were.
陶德告诉我了我是来看看你的情况的
Well, to be honest,
说实话
I think I need a little space from Todd and...
我觉得我需要远离陶德和...
other people.
其他人
Look, I'm sorry for being weird.
抱歉我行为很奇怪
I-I just haven't had many girlfriends in my life.
可能是因为我没有过多少闺蜜
It's okay.
没事
But just know that whatever happens,
但是你要知道无论如何
it won't change how thankful I am
都不会改变我
for you even giving this a shot.
对你愿意一试的谢意
Thanks, Melissa.
谢谢梅丽莎
I wrote you another poem.
我又写了一首诗
I'm kidding. Oh.
开玩笑的那就好
Phew.
松了口气
Okay, Clancy, come to Daddy.
好克兰西来爸爸这里
Come to Daddy.
来爸爸这里
Oh, good boy. Good boy.
乖好样的
Now sit up. Sit up for me.
坐下听话坐下
Oh, good boy. Good boy.
好样的好样的
Oh, hey, bud.
是你伙计
I got us a dog. Well, it's a robot dog.
我们有狗了是机器狗
Well, the body's a robot, and the head's a dog.
身体是机器头是狗头
It's a taxidermy head. Yeah.
这是狗头标本
Hey, play dead, Clancy.
装死克兰西
There we go. Good boy.
很好好样的
Isn't that something? Hmm.
是不是很棒嗯
So, how's it going, bud?
情况如何伙计
Test was negative, bud.
没有成功伙计
Oh, I'm so sorry, bud.
很遗憾伙计
Here. Clancy, comfort Todd.
克兰西安慰陶德
Hey. Pat his head.
摸摸它的头
Get in there. Hey.
去摸乖
Look, you'll get 'em next time.
下次肯定会成功的
If there is a next time. Wait, what do you mean?
前提是还有下次慢着什么意思
Well, we got in a fight, and I went a little nuts,
我们吵架了我没控制住自己
and now she might want to pull the plug on the whole thing.
现在她可能根本不想做了
Well, I thought she wanted another kid.
她不是想再生个孩子吗
She does. I'm just not sure she wants to have one with me.
是的但她可能不想跟我生了
I see where you're going with this, okay?
我明白你的意思了
But, Todd, rest assured I will never--
陶德你放心我绝不会
barring your early death-- have a baby with Erica.
除非你早死否则我绝不会跟艾瑞卡生孩子
Uh, okay. Thanks.
好的谢谢
I mean that, bud. Firmly.
我是很认真的伙计
Here, bring it in. Yeah.
过来亲一口好
Now, look, she's not gonna call it off.
听我说她不会不干的
Bottom line, she wants a baby, and you're her only shot.
如果她想要孩子你是她唯一的机会
Yeah. I guess I am.
对是的
Thanks, bud.
谢谢伙计
Hey. Clancy, got a stick!
克兰西去捡棍子
Go, fetch! Fetch!
去捡去捡
Clamp onto it. Come on.
咬住快点
Who are you?
你是谁
Tandy. Tandy, did you hear that?
坦迪坦迪你听到了吗