最后一个男人（2015）

The Last Man On Earth S04E07

Part 2 Dec. 1, 2020, 4:58 p.m.

their grandma ditched them for some stranger-baby.
她们的外婆因为某个陌生孩子抛弃了她们
Don't you listen to her.
别听她的
Jasper?
贾思博
Knock-knock.
有人吗
Who's there? I'm just kidding.
谁啊我开玩笑的
Jasper?
贾思博
Hey, hey, bud.
伙计
Oh, look at you.
瞧瞧你
Set up a little bachelor pad.
做了个小单身汉窝
That's cool.
真不错
Uh, killing Nazis, huh?
在杀纳粹
Yeah. Don't have any problem with that, no, sir.
完全没有意见长官
Even the ones just following orders.
就算听从命令也不行
You know, you got to be held accountable for your actions.
你必须对你的行为负责
Stupid.
太蠢了
I was wondering,
我想问问
uh, if you're not doing anything,
如果你没什么事
uh, you-you-you, um...
你你你...
you want to hang out or something?
你想一起出去玩什么的吗
I mean, 'cause you could totally say no.
我是说你完全可以拒绝
I mean, why would you wanna...
反正你为什么会想...
hang out with an old guy like me?
和我这样的老家伙玩呢
Come on, bud, five minutes.
来吧伙计五分钟
Just, you know, four.
四分钟也行
May-Maybe-maybe two.
也也也许两分钟
Right on.
马上
Whatever.
随便了
Hey. Thanks for watching Dawn.
谢谢你帮忙照看多恩
Of course.
小意思
I should warn you that
我得和你说一下
Carol was not too thrilled about me being pulled away.
卡萝尔不高兴我被你分走了
Oh, God. What now?
天啊又怎么了
She's just mad because she thinks
她只是不高兴因为她觉得
I spend more time with Dawn than with the twins.
我花在多恩身上的时间比双胞胎多
Well, you're Dawn's mom, too.
你也是多恩的妈妈
Oh, not according to Carol.
在卡萝尔看来可不是
She's giving me grief on account of us not being married.
她因为我们没有结婚而苛责我
You know Carol. I mean,
你懂卡萝尔的
she won't go to the bathroom
没有倒水许可的话
unless she's got a certified dumping permit.
她甚至不会进浴室
Yeah.
是啊
What?
怎么了
I was just thinking about us as a married couple.
我只是在想我们结婚会怎么样
What's so funny about that?
那有什么好笑的
I mean, can you imagine us getting all gussied up
你能想象我们盛装打扮
and declaring our love to the world like a couple of chumps?
然后像一对笨蛋一样向全世界宣称我们的爱吗
Yeah, wouldn't that be horrible?
肯定很可怕
What? Did I say s...
怎么了我说了什么...
Women.
女人啊
Ok.
好吧
I'm sorry-- I didn't mean it that way.
对不起我不是那个意思
Sure.
好吧
I mean, it's not that I wouldn't want to be married to you,
我不是说我不愿意和你结婚
I just don't want to be married to anybody.
我只是不愿意和任何人结婚
It's a flawed institution.
这是一种有缺陷的制度
It's like bread bowls
就像面包碗
or... the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
或者...摇滚名人堂
You already made your point, so could we just drop it?
你已经说得很清楚了能不能不提了
I mean, we live together, we're raising a kid together.
我们住在一起我们共同抚养一个孩子
It's like we're already married.
我们已经是夫妻的样子了
The only thing we don't have is just some stupid piece of paper.
我们只是少一张破证
Yeah, stupid piece of paper...
没错一张破证
that says you'll always be there even if the other person
写明你会永远和对方在一起
gets sick or they get fat or they... drool in their sleep,
不管疾病肥胖...或者晚上流口水
because you can't imagine your life without them.
因为你无法想象没有她的生活
Oh, God. All right.
天啊好吧
If getting married is really something that you want to do,
如果你真的想结婚
then... I'll bite the bullet.
那...我只能舍命了
Wow. With a proposal like that, how could I say no?
这种求婚我怎么能拒绝呢
Must be a hole in my glove.
我的手套上肯定有一个洞
Oh! Uh-oh, worm burner!
扭扭球
Hey, you know, truth be told,
说实话
I never even played catch-- it's just something
我从来没玩过传接球我只是
I saw all my friends do with their dads, and...
看我朋友和他们的父亲们玩过...
Well, my dad was a little checked out, so...
我爸爸早就离开了所以...
I taught myself how to play catch,
我只能自学怎么玩传接球
how to ride a bike, you know?
怎么骑自行车
Um... even taught myself how to shave.
甚至自学怎么刮胡子
What's to shave?
刮胡子是什么
Oh, you don't know about shaving?
你不知道怎么刮胡子
Ah, bud, learning to shave is...
伙计学刮胡子...
like a rite of passage.
就像一种仪式
It'd be my honor to guide you through it.
我很荣幸能指引你
Here, give me that.
给我
Go long.
跑远一点
No. Not that long, bud.
不不用这么远
Thanks again, Melissa.
再次谢谢你梅丽莎
Gail said she was gonna help,
盖尔本来说她会来帮忙
but apparently, she has more important babies to tend to.
但显然她要照顾更重要的宝宝
It's no problem.
不客气
Hey, gals. Uh, just burned some dirty diapers on the lawn.
姑娘们我刚在草坪上烧了些脏尿不湿
Woman, oh, woman, is it hot out!
女人啊女人真是惹火
Yeah, plus all the pollen.
此外还有花粉
Think I might have to go take a anti-her-stimine.
我觉得我可能要服用抗女胺剂了
Wow, you're really doubling down on all this crap.
你确实对这件破事很有决心啊
Yeah. If by "Crap," you mean
对如果你说的"破事"是指
smashing the patriarchy and being a full-on gender-friender,
推♥翻♥父权制度火力全开支持性别平等
then yes, I'm 100% full of crap.
那是的我百分百有决心
You know, Tandy,
坦迪
there's more to being a feminist than just talk.
要做女权主义者光说不做是不行的
Yeah, and you can't just change a bunch of words around
对你不能只是改几个词
and think you're the next... Betty Friedan.
就以为你是下一个贝蒂·弗里丹
Uh, don't know who that is, but I think I get the point.
我不知道那是谁不过我懂你的意思
Which is why I am entering phase two of what I'm calling
所以我要进入第二阶段我称之为
my "Sex Change Operation."
我的"性别改变行动"
'Cause well-behaved Tandies seldom make herstory.
因为听话的坦迪很少创造"历史"
That's it.
没错
Nice, even strokes.
慢慢来滑下去
Just go with the grain, bud.
跟着纹路来伙计
Again, this is not the normal shave area,
再强调一下一般不刮这里
but for our purposes, this makes the most sense.
不过这是最好的练习区域
You know, because you don't have any hair on your face, and...
因为你脸上没有毛而且
Melissa likes my mustache
梅丽莎喜欢我的小胡子
for reasons I'll explain to you someday.
这个以后我会跟你解释
You're never gonna forget this, bud.
你永远不会忘记这个伙计
We share a sacred bond now.
现在我们有神圣的联♥系♥了
Shave brothers.
剃毛兄弟
Or, shave father and son, if, you know...
剃毛父子如果...
What?
什么
Nothing. Nothing. Just, uh, shave brothers.
没什么没什么就是剃毛兄弟
Yeah.
没错
Yep.
没错
Hey, you ever learn how to tie a tie?
你学过怎么系领带吗
I'll get her.
我去
You sleep.
你睡吧
Yeah...
好了
Vagina-doodle-doo!
咯咯哒咯咯哒
Rise and shine, everyone!
大家起床了
What a beautiful daughter-rise.
多美的月出
Now, listen here.
听我说