如果还有明天（2010）

The Big C S04E04

Part 8 Aug. 17, 2021, 10:05 p.m.

但我疯掉了我在这儿呢"
but I'm totally sane, and I'm down here"?
小声点肖恩
Just keep it down, Sean.
我才不会帮你自杀凯西
I'm not gonna help you kill yourself, Cath.
你觉得器官捐赠者是干嘛的
What do you think vegan kidney donors do, huh?
我们救人可不是杀人
We save lives, not destroy them.
- 我只想... - 怎样
- I just want to... - What?
参与我自己的死
Participate in my own death,
认识它接受它
acknowledge it, accept it.
我并不是要缩短自己的生命
It's not like I'm cutting my life short.
我知道我时候到了
I know my time is up.
你并不知道
You don't know that.
你可能只活十天也可能会活六个月
You could have ten days, or you could have six months.
我走不了路了肖恩
I can't walk, Sean.
我的视力开始模糊
My vision is so messed up.
我好害怕会变瞎害怕听到你的声音
I'm terrified of going blind and hearing your voice
却看不到你的脸
and not being able to see your face.
而他们给我的这些痛苦的治疗
The pain medication they give me...
再也不会让我好起来
it doesn't take it all away anymore.
我现在每时每刻都好难受肖恩
And I'm hurting all the time now, Sean.
听着我可能的确很软弱
Now, look, I might be weak-minded,
或者只是没有表达清楚
or maybe I'm just not framing this right,
但我想走了
but I want to go...
立刻
now.
那为什么选我
Well, why me? Huh?
为什么不是不是保罗呢
Why not... why not Paul?
你们不是无论疾病与健康
You're supposed to be partners with him
都应该相互扶持的吗
in sickness and in health.
保罗肯定做不来的
Paul definitely wouldn't get it.
我担心他甚至都不能接受
I'm worried he's not gonna honor
我签过的不复苏协议
the DNR I signed.
那么我也做不来
Well, I don't get it either.
好吧没关系
Okay. That's fine.
她的生日还有两个月
Her birthday is in two months.
我们得准备点有意义的活动
We have to plan something really meaningful, you know?
好主意
Great idea.
嗨大家伙
Hey, everybody.
- 嗨兄弟 - 嗨肖恩
- Hey, man. - Hey, Sean.
摸摸我给凯西准备的开士米羊毛毯子
Check out this cashmere blanket I got for Cathy.
像只小兔子一样软
It's like sleeping with a bunny.
是啊不错
Yeah. It's nice.
今晚谁去看她
Who's, uh, gonna go see her tonight?
- 我去 - 我明天去
- I am. - I'm going tomorrow.
我也是
Me too.
怎么她情况变糟了吗
Why? Is she worse?
不不还是那样
No. No. She... same.
只不过你不知道什么时候她就...
Just... you never know, so, you know...
早点把想说的话都说了才好
it's good to say what you want to say.
我就想说这个
That's all I'm saying.
这是什么
What's that?
是为了记录她的治疗
It's just to keep track of her medications.
养老院的一个护士
One of the nurses at the hospice
教给我他们做图表的方法
taught me how they make their charts.
哥们你漏掉周二了
Buddy, you left off Tuesday.
该死
Oh, shit.
- 擦不掉 - 怎么了
- It won't come off. - Why not?
是永久性记号♥笔
It's permanent marker.
该死亚当搞什么
Damn it, Adam. What the hell?
我只是从抽屉里面拿出来
I just reached into the drawer.
没想到它不可擦
I didn't think about it.
好吧你应该考虑到的
Yeah, well, you should've thought about it.
这也不是什么大事是吧
It's not a big deal, is it?
哦我不知道呢
Oh, I don't know.
如果她要是吃错药片了也没什么大不了吧
Is it a big deal if she doesn't get the right pills?
你又不知道是吧我们就忽略掉星期二吧
You know what? Let's just skip Tuesday.
谁在意呢对吧
Who cares, right?
要是她现在药物治疗很痛苦
I mean, if she doesn't get her pain medication on time
而我又恰巧在车♥库♥里没听见她的尖叫
and I'm in the garage and I can't hear her scream,
谁又会在意呢对吧
who cares, right?
对你说的没错该死的
Yeah, you're right.
这根本没什么大不了的
Fuck it. No big deal.
喂喂保罗
W... whoa, Paul.
我说我们为什么把这个地方弄得这么好看
I mean, why are we even trying to make this place look nice?
我知道我们就让她自己拖沓着上楼
I know. Let's let her drag herself up the stairs,
万一她摔下来
and if she falls down...
噢天哪
Oh, God!
肯定没事的哥们
It's okay, buddy.
没关系的
It's okay. It's okay.
没事的
It's okay.
我好害怕
I'm scared.
我懂
I know.
你知道她不想回家
She doesn't want to come home, you know.
我能跟你说吗
Can I tell you something?
我很恨我自己这样
And I hate myself for this.
我也不想让她回来
I don't want her to come home either.
如果你还想要尽早离开的话
If you still want to do this thing,
我帮你
I'll help you.
你要有塑料盆
Once you have the plastic tubing
塑料罩
and the plastic hood,
你还要两罐氦气和五十个派对气球
you need 2 helium tanks for 50 party balloons,
这些你去租或者买♥♥都行
uh, which you can rent or buy.
如果我去租你要帮我还了它们
If I rent them, you have to return them.
第一罐氦气就能让你窒息而亡
The first tank should kill you.
第二罐是以防万一第一罐不奏效
But the second tank is just in case something goes wrong.
我的天哪你天天晚上是怎么睡着的
God almighty, how do you sleep at night?
我睡得很好啊
Really well.
但我妻子在淋巴瘤晚期
I could hardly sleep at all when my wife
求着我不要让她死在医院里时
was in the final stages of lymphoma
我也夜不能寐
and begged me not to let her die in the hospital.
我们找到了这个组织
W-we found this group,
他们告诉了我们几个选择
and they told us about some options.
然后我们就找了一个好医生
And then we found a sympathetic doctor
给了我们一些药然后我...
who gave us some drugs that I mixed...
不是是她把药和进了她的咖啡里
I mean, that she mixed into her coffee.
她临终前最后一句话就是
And her final words were,
" 亲爱的谢谢你 "
"thank you, love."
那个塑料罩
The hood...
看起来不要那么素净
doesn't seem very discreet.
要不然亚当会知道的
And... and then Adam would know.
还有方法能不要这么戏剧性
Is there anything less dramatic?
呃有些人吞食大量吗♥啡♥
Well, some people take as much morphine as they can
然后让别人在他们睡着的时候
and then have someone else place a bag over their head
把袋子罩在他们头上
when they've fallen asleep
事后再处理掉这个袋子
and then dispose of the bag after.
喔不要吧
No! Whoa.
我才不会闷死自己的姐姐
I am not suffocating my own sister.
还记得在宿营的时候吗
Remember at camp?
你总喜欢把我压进水里
You loved to hold me underwater.
哦天哪凯西别这么说
Oh, my God, Cathy. Don't say that.
我在和你闹着玩不是要闷死你
I was trying to torture you, not kill you.
那么我们要怎样
So, how do we get in touch
和那些好医生取得联♥系♥
with one of these sympathetic doctors?
我们不能泄露他们的名字
We're not allowed to give out names.
很遗憾你不住在俄勒冈州
Too bad you don't live in Oregon.
对啊这就是现在让我
Yeah, that's one of a few things
感到苦恼的事之一
I feel bad about right now.
谈的差不多了这是我的名片
It's a lot to take in. Here's my card.
如果你有任何问题或是想再多了解一点
If you have any questions or want to talk some more,
打给我就行了
just give me a call.
嘿见到你真是高兴又尴尬啊
Hey, totally great and weird to meet you.
好了
All right.