生活新方向（2022）

Pivoting S01E06

Part 2 Feb. 19, 2022, 3:49 p.m.

- Puberty. - Nope, that's a ways off.
我很早就进入青春期了好吗
Well, I developed very early, okay?
最初感觉很好
I mean, it was great at first.
挺有趣也挺令人激动
It was kind of fun and exciting,
然后在体操课上换衣服变得有点... 你懂的
and then changing in gym class got a little...you know.
我想是的
I'm sure it was.
我不是想责备谁...
So, uh, not to assign blame...
但卢克很可能在模仿一位家长
...but it's probably a parent Luke's parroting.
好吧我得走了
Okay, I'm gonna go,
因为这些孩子们不会自己擦屁♥股♥
'cause these kids aren't gonna wipe themselves.
好的我会...我会和卢克的爸爸谈谈
Okay, hey, I will -- I'll talk to Luke's dad
如何做一个更好的榜样
about being a better role model.
他太管不住嘴了
He's a real loose cannon, okay?
等等我来这里干嘛
Wait, why did I come here?
老天卢克
Oh, God. Luke.
你懂的
You get it.
嗨布莱恩
Hey, Bri.
我在菲尔兹给你拿了些食物
I got you some groceries at Fields.
这些都很快要过期了
These are all about to expire,
所以我要是你的话就会快点吃完
so if I were you, I'd get on it.
谢谢你对我们太好了
Thank you. You are spoiling us.
莱拉呢
Where's Lila?
睡觉吧但愿如此
Napping, I hope.
我买♥♥的那个便宜的婴儿监视器
That cheap baby monitor I got
只能听到邻居的门铃摄像头响声
only picks up the neighbor's Ring cam.
我想那家的妻子出轨了
I think the wife's having an affair.
除虫男的在她家待太长时间了
The pest guy stays there way too long.
真乱啊
What a mess.
知道吗我一直都想要
You know, I've been meaning to clean out
清理一下这个衣柜
this closet for awhile.
老天珂琳真邋遢
God, Coleen was such a slob.
我的天呐
Oh, my God.
-这是那条围巾 -什么围巾
- This is the scarf! - What scarf?
那条围巾
The scarf.
我不知道你在说什么
I don't know what you're talking about.
那条小鸡图案的那条
The one! The one with the chickens on it!
她说你之前用这条围巾捆绑她
She said that you tried to tie her up with this.
好吧这是公鸡再说我没有这么做
Okay, it's roosters, and, no, I did not.
除非她说感觉很棒
Unless she said it was great.
我想她说的不是"很棒"
I don't think that "Great" was the word.
我记得是...
I think it was...
"奇怪丢人" 还有"可悲"
"Awkward, embarrassing," oh, and "sad."
但是个不错的故事
But it was a good story.
她不该告诉别人的
That she wasn't supposed to tell anyone.
她没有告诉别人只有我乔迪和艾米
She didn't. Just me, Jodie, and Amy.
声明一下我当时表现非常棒
For the record, I did a great job.
是她手腕的问题
The problem was her wrists.
对于这么瘦的女人来说她的手腕太粗了
For such a thin woman, she had very thick wrists.
所以她一直戴男士表
It's why she always wore men's watches.
布莱恩不是所有人都擅长捆绑
You know, Brian, not everybody's great at bondage.
好吧珂琳的话不可信
Okay, Coleen was a very unreliable narrator.
我会向你展示我当时表现得有多好
I will show you exactly how good I did.
快坐下来
Come on. Get in there.
悉听尊便
Be my guest.
在什么都没看到的情况下我就知道
The first thing I can tell you you did wrong
你做错了一件事
without seeing anything
你用了一条小鸡图案的围巾
is that you used a scarf with chickens on it.
再说一遍是公鸡
Again, roosters,
这也是她唯一肯让我们糟蹋的围巾
and it was the only scarf that she'd let us ruin.
这是我妈妈送的礼物
It was a gift from my mom,
这或许给整件事增添了一丝诡异的色彩
which probably added a creepy layer to things.
或许这也是不成功的原因
Might be why it didn't work out.
好了
And done.
你瞧我不认为是她粗手腕的原因
See, I don't think it was her fat wrists,
愿她安息
may they rest in peace.
我想原因在你
I think it was you.
-你不妨坐下 -好吧
- Why don't you have a seat... - Okay.
我来教你该如何捆绑
...and I will show you how it's actually done.
你还记得我的前任黛安娜吧
You remember my ex, Diana.
她是个怪人
She was a freak.
没法把她的双腿绑在一起你知道我意思吧
Couldn't tie her legs together. You know what I mean?
所以
So, uh -- Oh.
珂琳还跟你们说我什么了
What else did Coleen tell you about me?
你看浪漫喜剧的时候会哭
That you cry at rom-coms,
你喜欢戴夫·马修斯乐队
you love the Dave Matthews Band,
你会坐着尿尿
and that you sit when you pee.
男人在没人的时候都会这样做
Every man does when no one's around.
你有一个叫波利的毯子
You have a blankie named Bolly.
你会晚上在门口设置障碍物以防有人入侵
You barricade the doors at night in case of an intruder.
因为有僵尸
Because zombies.
没错
Yeah.
头抬起来卢克
Alright, heads up, Luke.
有玻璃进来了
Glass incoming.
看路啊你个...好人
Watch where you're going, you...nice man.
非常好的人
You very nice man.
妈妈你不会就这么忍♥了吧
Mommy, you're not gonna take that, are you?
我会我会忍♥辱负重地吞下这口气
I am. I am gonna bend over and I am gonna take it,
当有人让我们生气的时候就要这样做
because that's what we do when people upset us.
我真的...
Mother...
是两个孩子的妈妈
of two is what I am.
好吧
Okay.
这真的太难了
This is so hard.
就是这样弓步下蹲下蹲
There you go. Lunge. Lunge.
没错 90度直角
That's right. 90-degree angle!
你们很棒好了
You guys are doing great. Sweet, okay.
下一个动作你可以用家里现有的东西
For this next one, you can use any household item
如果没有哑铃的话
if you don't have any weights at home.
我经常用一个大瓶洗发水
I like to use a large bottle of shampoo.
我们来做一会儿三头肌伸展
We're just gonna do some tricep extensions.
你能走路了
Oh, you're walking.
脸上也有些颜色了
And there's color in your face.
我觉得我应该吐完了
Yeah, I think the last of it is out.
你泡的茶真的很管用
The tea you made really helped.
谢谢
Thank you.
我觉得我应该是食物中毒了
I think it was food poisoning.
可能是昨天的路易虾沙拉吃坏肚子了
I might have eaten some bad Shrimp Louie yesterday.
不会是彼得鲁佐家的吧
Not Petruzzo's.
-就是彼得鲁佐家的 -我的天呐
- Petruzzo's. - Oh, my God!
太恶心了丹
That is so gross! Dan!
他们把外套还给我的时候里面有只老鼠
They gave me back my coat and there was a mouse
在我的口袋里面吃纸巾呢
eating a tissue in the pocket!
我从来没有听你那样尖叫过
I have never seen you scream like that.
你整张脸就是一个张开的嘴巴
Your face was just an open mouth.
-没错就像这样 -不
- Yeah, just like that. - No!
我保证下个周年纪念日的时候
I promise, next anniversary,
我选的餐厅
I will choose a restaurant
老鼠会安静地待在地上
where the rodents stay safely on the floor.
你的笑声让我胃里的虾
Oh, the laughter, it's j-jostling the, uh...
又涌上来了
...warm shrimp.
祝你好运
Good luck up there.
马特私教
对了我觉得你快达到你的目标体重了
可以做羞羞的事情了
她刚开始跟你约会
She originally started dating you
是为了冻酸奶
because of the free frozen yogurt.
但后来她疯狂地爱上我了吗
But then she fell madly in love with me?
很深沉很疯狂
Deeply, deeply, madly.
她整天说的都是你
You were all she talked about.
我捆好了
And I'm done.
我就不信你能挣脱开
Try to get out of that one.
好吧
Yeah, okay.
你确实很擅长捆绑
You're really good at this.