公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S06E17

Part 3 Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.

Smells like a hippopotamus took a dump on a skunk.
这是为了你好
It's in your best interest.
Goofus and Gallant 儿童漫画主角为两个性格对立的小男孩
嗯数字不会骗人我是个没头脑不是不高兴
Well, the numbers don't lie. I'm a goofus, not a gallant.
感觉呆了一百年了
Been here forever.
我们能走了吗
Can we go?
你不想把你牙齿补好了吗
Don't you want to get your tooth fixed?
我不知道啊我觉得我牙齿就这样看起来挺好
I don't know, I think my tooth looks fine just like this.
嗯我外婆也没有那颗牙齿
Well, my grandmother was missing that tooth,
而她是她石油钻塔上最美丽的女人
and she was the most beautiful woman on her oil rig.
你是个成年人了我也不是你♥爸♥
You are an adult. I am not your dad.
如果你想走我们可以走 - 耶谢了 Ron
If you want to go, we can go. - Yay. Thanks, Ron.
所以你才知道虽然你不是我爸
That's why you know even though you're not my dad,
你就像是我的老大哥
you're like an old brother to me.
就像是个酷叔叔但是老像是个爷爷
Like a cool uncle, but old. Like a grandpa.
但是酷像是个儿子
But cool like a son.
非常感谢 - 谢谢
Thank you very much. - Thank you.
没问题一共是$8 谢谢
No problem. That'll be $8, please.
什么你们咖啡也要收费吗这是个什么-- 啊哦
What, you're charging us for coffee? What kind of a business-- uh-oh.
哦你们好啊先生们
Oh, hello, gentlemen.
肯定是开玩笑的吧这个地方也是你的啊
Gotta be kidding me. You own this place too?
没错屌♥毛们你们想谈生意了吗
That's right, dickweed. You wanna talk deal?
因为上次见面之后我的价格又非常上升了一点点呢
Because my prices have gone up ever so slightly since I saw you last.
不我们不会向你的离谱要求投降的
No, we're not giving in to your crazy demands.
开车距离内就有够多其他的帐篷租借店了
There are plenty of other tent rental places within driving distance.
是啊我现在就打给帐篷中心
Yeah, I'm calling Tent Emporium right now.
帐篷中心有什么需要帮忙的屁脸
Tent Emporium. How can I help you, buttface?
什么 - 不是吧
What? - Come on.
是的南印第安纳的每家帐篷店都是我的
Yes. I own every tent store in Southern Indiana.
任丁丁Rin Tin Tin 著名狗演员
帐篷镇帐帐包帐篷攻势
Tent Town, Rent Ten Tents, the Tent Offensive,
Jim Carrey的电影《神探飞机头/宠物侦探》 Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
还有神帐飞机头宠物帐篷
and Ace Tentura Tent Detective.
我还有一家福来鸡的连锁店
I also own a chick-fil-a franchise,
但那家生意就不太景气了无所谓
but that's not doing so hot right now. Whatever.
我们走吧
Let's get outta here.
五角大楼
您已接通五帐大楼有什么需要帮助的屁脸
You've reached the Tentagon. How can I help you, buttface?
好吧那这样要不我们找一个
Okay, here's an idea. Why don't we find something,
任何的不管多小的我们的共同点
anything, no matter how small, that we have in common?
比如我是个独女 - 我也是
For example, I'm an only child. - Me too.
虽然我在大学的时候发现我爸还有另一个家
Although, when I was in college I found out that my dad had a second family.
嗯确切说我们才是那另一个家
Well, we were the second family, technically.
好吧嗯我们都上过大学
Okay, well, we both went to college.
那就算啊 - 是啊
There's that. - Yeah.
哦天啊
Oh, my God!
Ann生孩子了哇这都很好玩
Ann had her baby! Wow, this has been fun.
单已经买♥♥了
The bill is already paid.
我礼貌建议你去看看Chris Traeger的
May I gently suggest that you check out Chris Traeger's
优秀咨♥询♥师Richard Nygard医生
wonderful therapist Dr. Richard Nygard.
虽然我有很小的一部分总是觉得
Although there is a tiny part of me that always thought
那就是Chris自己对着镜子说话
it was just Chris talking into a mirror.
总之或许你该去搜搜他
Anyway, maybe you should look him up.
我不知道啊我读过一本书
I don't know, I read a book once
说一个女人永远不应该走出第一步
that said a woman should never make the first move.
对咨♥询♥来说不是这样好吧祝你好运
That doesn't apply to therapy. Okay. Good luck!
Oliver Perkins-Traeger 这是你的Leslie阿姨
Oliver Perkins-Traeger, meet your Aunt Leslie.
嘿哦他也太美了而且你也太美了
Hey! Oh, he's so beautiful. And you're so beautiful.
我是说你一直都很美
I mean, you're always beautiful,
但现在你就是史上最美最闪耀的太阳女神
but right now you are the most beautiful, glowing sun goddess ever.
你为什么没告诉我你临产了呢
Why didn't you tell me you were in labor?
嗯因为我知道你肯定会抛下一切冲过来
Well, 'cause I knew you'd drop everything and rush here,
而宫缩有时候会持续好几天呢谢谢
and contractions can sometimes go for days. Thank you.
所以我不想让你在这一直等着
So I didn't want you to be stuck waiting around.
嗯很高兴我现在在这了 Chris人呢
Well, I'm glad I'm here now. Where's Chris?
哦他当教练太棒了所以护士们请他
Oh, he was such a good coach that the nurses asked him
去帮助大厅那边的另一场分娩了
to help out with a delivery down the hall.
嗷
Ow.
嗷
Ow.
嗷
Ow!
Andrew 你应该去补牙了
Andrew, you need to get your tooth fixed.
绝不我不会回那里去的我已经打赢所有杂♥志♥迷宫了
No way. I'm not going back there. I already won all the magazine mazes.
别担心会没事的
Don't worry. It's gonna be fine.
嗷
Ow!
如果你现在不处理问题
If you don't take care of the problem now,
它只会更糟糕的来吧我开车带你回去
it's only gonna get worse. Come on. I'll drive you back.
行让我先快点把这个花生碎糖吞下去
Fine. Let me just wolf down this peanut brittle real quick.
你为什么那么做啊
Why would you do that?
哦对因为热量高了
Oh, right. 'Cause calories.
我们死定了不归这家伙所有的唯一帐篷店在500公里外
We're dead. The only tent store this guy doesn't own is 300 miles away.
哦等等这有家店没准可以
Oh, hang on. Here's a place that might work.
叫做流汗Roger的裤裆帐篷
It's called Sweaty Roger's Pants Tent.
哦不那里可不能租帐篷
Oh, no, you can't rent tents there.
嘿伙计们
Hey, guys.
你们看我刚刚二次检查所有Tom给我的文书
Look, I was double-checking all the paperwork that Tom gave me
在那个超级好玩的停车场里发现
in that super fun parking lot,
Harvey的法人组织里有些部分很可疑
and there was something about Harvey's corporate structure that just seemed fishy.
所以我翻了一下--
So I dug around--
发现他有很多违规操作
and it turns out he has got a lot of code violations.
哇 Larry 这可是好东西啊
Whoa! Larry, this is great stuff.
从没觉得我会说但是
Never thought I would say it, but
我放你在外面做卑微工作真是个天才
I'm a genius for making you stay outside and do a menial task.
太同意了你做到了 Tom
Couldn't agree more. You did it, Tom.
嗯我不想开车回去啊
Mm, I don't want to drive back.
我太想你了
I miss you so much.
谁都比不上你这个朋友
No one even comes close to you as a friend.
我甚至试着给上班的女人们打分排名
I even tried to rank the women at work,
但那个彻底失败了 - 你给她们排名吗
but that was a total bust. - You ranked them?
嗯我觉得或许我该用闺蜜节当做机会--
Well, I thought maybe I could use Galentine's day as an opportunity--
Leslie 闺蜜节啊
Leslie, Galentine's day?
你想让我怎么办嘛 Ann
What do you want me to do, Ann?
我需要一个替换而且别担心根本没用
I need to find a replacement, and don't worry, it didn't work.
没人能般配你混血的能量
Nobody can match your ethnic hybrid energy.
每个人都有自己独特的优势啊
Everybody brings their own unique strengths to the table.
有些甚至我都没有
Some that even I don't have.
你闭嘴吧你所有优势都有
You shut your mouth. You have all the strengths.
你看你比我见过的任何人都爱得更深很难有人相配
Look, you love harder than anyone I know. It's tough to match.
而我知道Donna和April不会表现
And I know Donna and April don't show it,
但她们会为你做任何事
but they would do anything for you.
而且你和我的看法也不是总是一致啊我是说
And it's not like you and I always see eye to eye. I mean,
《胜利之光》呢
Friday Night Lights?
我更喜欢Riggins 而你偏向于Saracen
I am more of a Riggins girl, and you lean Saracen.
是啊因为Riggins是个罪犯啊 - 他为他哥哥背了锅
Yeah, 'cause Riggins is a criminal. - He took the fall for his brother.
好吧他可没为他哥当心啊
Okay, he didn't watch out for his brother.
算了我不会再跟你聊一次这个话题了
You know, I'm not having this conversation with you again.
那个家庭都是垃圾
That family is garbage.
重点是我们一开始成为朋友的时候不是都喜欢相同的东西的
The point is we didn't always like the same stuff when we first became friends.
就别强迫给点时间
Just don't force it. Give it some time.
我知道你是对的 Ann 谢谢你
I know, you're right, Ann. Thank you.
我就是好想你而且有好多事情我想跟你聊的
It's just I'm missing you, and there's so much stuff I want to talk to you about.
嗯你现在在这了我们聊吧
Well, you're here now, so let's talk.
哦
Oh.
我觉得Oliver还有更紧急的事情呢
I think Oliver has more pressing business.
好吧但我们得早点聊了因为我有天差点买♥♥了个脚趾戒指
Okay, but we should talk soon, 'cause I almost bought a toe ring the other day.
啥啊 Ann 你已经是当妈的人了
What? Ann, you're somebody's mother.
我知道啊 - 好吧
I know. - Okay.
我给你俩一点时间
I'm gonna give you two some time.
我上车再打给你
I'll call you from the car.
如果你需要我我就在外面
I'll be out here if you need me.
谢谢你这么做 Ron
Thanks for doing this, Ron.
最重要的是有几个迷宫我作弊了
When it's all said and done, there were a few mazes I'd cheated on.
而且我嘴巴的里面又黑又热
Also, the inside of my mouth is black and hot.
所以我是要脱到剩内衣还是完全脱♥光♥呢