公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S06E15
Part 2
Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.
要不明天早上来我办公室 向我推销你最热门的主意呢
Why don't you come to my office tomorrow and pitch me your hottest idea?
完美 我们到时候见
Perfect! I'll see you then.
哦 那挺酷的 - 已经发生了 Ben
Oh, that's pretty cool. - It's all happening, Ben.
很快我就有新的事业 新的小房♥ 新的朋友
Soon I'll have a new career, new crib, new friends.
如果进展顺利 这可能会是我最后需要和你对话的几次之一了
If all goes well, this may be one of the last times I ever have to speak to you.
跟我来 我需要你的帮助
Come with me, I need your help.
非常感谢各位 的前来
Thank you so much, everyone, for coming.
而特别感谢市议会的支持
And a special thank you to the city council for their support.
我是听说这里会有免费烧烤自助
I was told there'd be a free barbecue buffet?
就拿点牛肉干然后...闭嘴吧
Just take some beef jerky and... hush!
今年春天我们会举办一场巨型的联合演唱会
This spring we will be holding a massive unity concert
纪念Pawnee和Eagleton的合并
to commemorate the merger between Pawnee and Eagleton.
这场三天的音乐艺术节会以我们称作的"新创立者日"结束
This three-day music and arts festival will end on a day we will call "New Founder's Day,"
我们镇官方的新开始
an official beginning to our new town.
几年前 Eagleton沿着边界立起了这堵墙
A few years ago, Eagleton put up this wall along the border.
现在到了拆掉这堵墙的时候了
Now it is time to tear down this wall.
以联合的名义 我把第一锤交给几位前Eagleton居民
In the name of unity, I have given some former Eagletonians the first strike.
来吧 伙计们
Take it away, guys.
这是很好的一--
This is such a great day for--
蜜蜂 蜜蜂 哦
Bees! Bees! Oh!
所有人别慌
Nobody panic!
哦 不
Ohhh, noooo!
啊 它蛰到我眼球了
Ah! It stung me in the eyeball!
哦 天啊 这也太棒了 天
Oh, man, this is amazing, man.
愚蠢的Eagleton人们完全被这些蜜蜂给碾压了
The stupid Eagletonians are totally getting the pwned by these bees.
我要把这个直接发上Tosh
I'm gonna send this straight to Tosh.
嗷 操 操
Ow, fuck! Fuck!
别担心 宝 我会保护你的
Don't worry, babe, I'll protect you.
我被蛰过一次 我免疫了
I got stung once, I'm immune.
来蛰我啊 蜜蜂们 没用的
Go ahead and sting me, bees. It does nothing.
Leslie 看起来被蛰的大部分是来自Eagleton的人
Leslie, it appears that most of the people that were stung were from Eagleton.
你是怎么搞定的 - 我什么也没搞
How did you pull that off? - I didn't pull anything off.
Eagleton人只是离墙最近而已
The Eagletonians were simply closest to the wall.
此外 有一个Pawnee居民被蛰...在嘴上了
Plus, one Pawneean was stung... in his mouth
因为他在笑话Eagleton人
because he was laughing at the Eagletonians.
你是怎么把你的蜜蜂塞进墙里的
How did you get your bees into the wall,
这个好笑的针对Eagleton的蜜蜂恶作剧花了多久策划
and how long did it take to plan this hilarious bee prank on Eagleton?
它们不是我的蜜蜂 Trodd
They were not my bees, Trodd.
而且最后说一次 这不是恶作剧
And for the last time this was not a prank.
我不知道那堵墙里有蜜蜂
I did not know that bees were in that wall.
我是说 实际上你们应该把这当做是一个公共服务声明
I mean, in fact you should treat this like a public service announcement.
所有人...都应该检查墙里有没有蜜蜂
Everybody... should check their walls for bees.
少来了 恶作剧女王 可能里面有蜜蜂呢
Nice try, prank queen. Probably bees in there.
好吧 到此为止了
Okay, that's all the time I have.
你还能用蜜蜂做什么 - Leslie 你的下一个恶作剧是什么
What else can you do with your bees? - Leslie, what's your next prank?
哦
Ooh.
Leslie 国家公园部的Grant Larson来电
Leslie, Grant Larson is on the phone from the National Park Service.
我现在不能见他 我们在危机模式 好吧
I cannot meet with him right now. We are in crisis mode, okay?
Larry 就跟他说我需要改期
Larry, just tell him I need to reschedule
因为我在试着解决我的蜜♥穴♥问题
because I am trying to fix my bee hole disaster.
没问题 - 等等 不 等等
Okeydokey. - Wait! No, wait!
不 Larry 别那么跟他说
No! Larry, don't tell him that.
别提到我的蜜♥穴♥
Don't mention my bee hole.
正如我们所料 John
Just as we suspected, John.
我们修好了阀门柄的密封性
We repaired the valve stem seal,
现在只剩下拧紧这个密封螺母了
and now all that remains is to tighten down this packing nut.
然后...这样就行了
And... that should do it.
我们能帮你吗
Can we help you?
不 一切都在我们掌控之中
No. We have everything under control.
我的队伍在重做这整层楼
My crew's redoing this whole floor.
我们现在是唯一允许上来的人
We're the only people allowed up here right now.
嗯 继续你们的工作 你们不会注意到我们的
Well, proceed with your work. You won't notice us at all.
我们会有点吵的
We're gonna be kinda loud.
我儿子已经几周大了
My son is several weeks old.
他已经很熟悉动力工具的声音了
He's quite familiar with the sound of power tools.
好吧 那这个呢-- 指甲激光手术
Okay, how about this one-- Lasik for fingernails?
切一次指甲 永远不用再切了
Cut your fingernails once, never have to cut 'em again.
我们只需要一个复杂的激光 我毫不知道怎么做
All we need is a complicated laser I have no idea how to build.
看起来不可能 - 好吧
Seems impossible. - All right.
啊哦 "青盐饼干" 给青年的盐饼干
Uh-oh! "Saltweens!" Saltines for tweens.
看起来...没必要
Seems... unnecessary?
我唯一接近完成的生意主意是一家餐厅
The only business idea I have that's even remotely fleshed out is a restaurant.
没门的 餐厅在会计杂♥志♥的"最高风险生意"刊中是排名首位的
No way. Restaurants were ranked number one in Accounting Magazine's "Riskiest Businesses" issue.
实际上那也是他们倒闭之前的最后一♥期♥
That was their last issue before they folded, actually.
杂♥志♥的风险也很高
Magazines are also very risky.
不敢相信一个天使投资人从天而降
I can't believe an angel investor floated down from the heavens,
而我甚至没有任何东西可以推销给他
and I don't even have anything to pitch him.
拜托 你至少应该有一个好的生意点子吧 你已经52岁了啊
Come on, you must've had one good business idea. You're 52 years old!
不 我没有 但我确实有个主意
No, I'm not. But I do have an idea.
它毫无漏洞
It's air-tight.
但我必须警告你 它并不是超级性感
But I have to warn you, it's not super sexy.
是什么呢 - 好吧 听好
What is it? - Okay, listen up.
你可以做中间人 连接干洗店
You would be the middleman between dry cleaners
和销♥售♥化学品...
and the companies that sell chemicals...
给干洗店的公♥司♥
to dry cleaners.
哇 - 对吧
Wow! - Right?
你说的没错 哥们 那确实不性感
You're right, man. That is not sexy.
Leslie Knope的小花招把三个人送进了医院
Leslie Knope's little stunt put three people in the hospital.
这次蜜蜂事件只是这场合并Pawnee一方的最新攻击
This bee incident is just the latest assault coming from the Pawnee side of this merger.
Mike Patterson是Eagleton最顽固的记者
Mike Patterson is Eagleton's most tenacious reporter.
他潜心挖掘一件事的时候 他就会紧咬不放
When he sinks his teeth into something, he's like a dog with a bone!
哦天啊 你可不能侧身耳语然后大吼啊
Oh, my God! You can't lean in to whisper and then yell.
那不公平 - 这次合并太脆弱了
That's not fair. - This merger is so fragile,
所有人都很紧张 没人在讨论联合演唱会了
everyone is on edge, and no one is talking about the unity concert.
为什么有任何人会觉得那是个恶作剧啊
Why would anybody think that was a prank?
太悲哀了 人们说什么都会相信
So sad. People will believe anything.
但确实是恶作剧 对吧 - 别出镜了 好吧
It was a prank though, right? - No more press, okay?
你只需要低调一阵子
You just have to lay low for a while.
我保证这都会平息的
I promise it'll all blow over.
April 你的能力和清醒特别打动我 我会听从你的意见
April, your competence and your levelheadedness is very moving to me, and I will follow your advice
在我去医院和每一位受害者当面道歉之后
right after I go to the hospital and apologize to every victim in person.
行 但别带摄影 - 行啊 我不会带的
Fine, but no cameras. - Fine, I won't bring any.
啊 我应付不了这些争吵了
Aghh! I can't handle all this fighting.
就像又回到了2004年的感恩节
It's like Thanksgiving 2004 all over again!
问都别问
Don't even ask!
谁来跟着我 我心烦意乱的
Somebody follow me, I'm distraught!
谁是大孩子啊
Who's a big guy?
天 忘了工作吧
Man, forget about working.
我只想整天盯着这个小宝宝
I just wanna stare at this baby all day.
你们在这层楼上的工作性质是什么
What is the nature of your work on this floor?
整体重装--新地板 固定装置 管线
Total redo--new floors, fixtures, plumbing.
要花多久
How long will it take?
6到8周
Six to eight weeks.
成交
Deal.
我会在分配时间内完成这些工作
I will do all this work for you in the time allotted.
把你们的工具和材料拿上来就行
Just have your tools and materials brought up here.
你疯了吗 这可是够一整个队伍干的活
Are you crazy? This is enough work for a whole crew.
我很肯定政♥府♥会相信你们这种说法
I'm sure the government believed you when you told them that,
而我向你们获利于他们无知的行为致敬
and I tip my cap to you for profiting off their ignorance.
但我在向你们提供两个月的带薪假期
But I'm offering you two months paid vacation
还有把我的完美工作归功于你们自己的能力
and the ability to take credit for my work, which will be flawless.
好吧 伙计们 我们走
Okay. Guys, let's go!
我这里的帮助已经足够了
I got all help I'll need right here.
好了 这就是真心精彩的部分
Okay, this is the really exciting part.
我们以每加仑$1.60的价格购买♥♥四氯乙烯
We buy tetrachloroethylene at $1.60 a gallon,
但我们以每加仑2.38的价格卖♥♥回去
but we sell it back at 2.38 a gallon.
现在 我知道你是怎么想的
Now I know what you're thinking.
如果是一家需要买♥♥乙二醇醚的干洗店呢
What if it's a cleaner who wants to buy glycol ethers?
Ben 够了
Ben, stop!
这也太无聊了
This is so boring!
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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