公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S06E08

Part 4 Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.

对吧
Right?
别别别别别别别
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
嗯
Hmm.
所以我们一同举杯装满美味含糖的饮用水
"So let's all raise a glass, full of delicious, sugary drinking water,
敬Sweetums-- 一家Pawnee名企
to Sweetums-- a Pawnee Institution."
Leslie 别这么做
Leslie, don't do this.
我必须啊 Ben 我们不能都失业吧
I have to, Ben. We can't both be out of a job.
我们能做什么呢整天睡觉一起上烹饪课
What will we do-- sleep all day, take cooking classes together,
坐沙发上看电影吗
sit on a couch and watch movies?
天啊听起来好可怕 - 这里还有其他的危险
God, that sounds horrible. - There's more at stake here.
我觉得你道歉的话会是对"喝它"计划的背书
I mean, you apologize, it'll be an endorsement for the Drink-ems plan.
我知道啊但是--
I know that, but--
而且一切你说的关于Sweetums的内容完全是对的
And everything you said about Sweetums was right on.
我是说我做的90%的慈善工作都是为了补偿他们造成的麻烦
I mean, 90% of the charity work I did was to compensate for messes they caused.
而我也不想再为他们工作了
And I don't want to work for them anymore.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
是啊就走上台坚持下去
Yeah, just go up there, stick to your guns.
不会造成什么改变的我没法打败他们
It's not gonna make a difference. I can't beat them.
我这一边只有事实和科学
All I have on my side is facts and science,
而人们讨厌事实和科学
and people hate facts and science.
等等我有个主意了
Wait. I have an idea.
去找Tom 跑找Tom
Go get Tom. Run! Get Tom!
昨天我针对Sweetums和他们很好的新产品说了很多刺耳的话
Yesterday I said some pretty harsh things about Sweetums and their great new product.
但当我看到研究时
But when I looked at the research,
我发现一些关于"喝它"的引人注目的事实
I found some pretty compelling facts about Drink-ems
让我改变了姿态
that made me change my tune.
每瓶"喝它"包含了你每日磷酸二氢钾所需摄入量的35%
Each Drink-ems is packed with 35% of your daily monopotassium phosphate requirement.
MPP是一种乳化剂同时也是一种+7的PH缓冲剂
MPP is an emulsifier as well as a plus-7 PH buffer.
现在我知道你们怎么想的-- 那它的摩尔质量呢
Now, I know what you're thinking-- what about its molar mass?
136.086感觉如何
How does 136.086 grab you?
怎么--
What the--
我不知道你们咋想但"喝它"对我感觉挺无聊的
I don't know about y'all, but Drink-ems seems pretty boring to me,
不像H-2-流
not like H-2-flow.
抱歉
Excuse me.
我还有几个活页夹的重要数据需要讲完
I have several binders with very important data that I need to get through.
嗯小姐我觉得我们都会感激你咽下一茶匙的安静的
Well, miss, I think we'd all appreciate it if you just swallowed a teaspoon of hush.
把H-2-流当做你牙齿的app
Think of H-2-flow as an app for your teeth.
你吸收的流越多你就能得到越多的闪亮积分
The more flow you take in, the more sparkle points you get.
拿到足够的闪亮积分你就走上了通往第一个水之徽章的路上咯
Get enough sparkle points, and you're on your way to your first aqua badge!
收集足够的水之徽章我们就会欢迎你加入H-2-流铂金俱乐部
Collect enough aqua badges, and we'll welcome you to the H-2-flow Platinum Club.
我很擅长生意我也很擅长公园事情
I'm great at business, and I'm great at parks stuff.
我就像是毕加索遇上了迈克尔乔丹
I'm like Picasso meets Michael Jordan.
我可以画画
I can paint,
但呃我也可以做一个世界级的赌徒
but, uh, I can also be a world-class gambler.
Ron 这是什么啊
Ron, what's this?
我做的婴儿床
The crib I built.
我把它送给你和Ann
I'm giving it to you and Ann.
它绝对安全我用我的卡车撞过一次了
It's perfectly safe. I tested it by hitting it with my truck.
嗯 Ron 我不能接受这是为你的宝宝准备的
Well, Ron, I can't accept. This is for your baby.
森林里有不止一棵婴儿床用的树
There's more than one crib tree in a forest.
那不是一课顺便说只是评论木材可用性
That's not a lesson, by the way, just a comment on lumber availability.
它太美了谢谢
It's beautiful. Thank you.
没有人有养育的所有正确答案包括我
Nobody has all the right answers in parenting, including me.
你买♥♥的那个有毒婴儿床也不会是你犯的最后一个错误
And that toxic crib you bought won't be the last mistake you make.
但一个担心做所有正确决定的男人
But a man who's this worried about making all the right choices
是非常在乎的
cares very much.
那就是唯一重要的你会做一个好父亲
That's all that matters. You'll be a great father.
谢谢你 Ron...
Thank you, Ron...
的这张婴儿床以及这条建议
for the crib and the advice.
它比任何隐喻都要好太多了
It's much better than any metaphor.
白鲸实际上象征着
Does the white whale actually symbolize
人类存在的不可知和无意义吗
the unknowability and meaninglessness of human existence?
不那只是条很差的鱼而已
No. It's just a shitty fish.
嘿好消息啊
Hey, good news.
"喝它"已经死掉了
Drink-ems is dead.
明天开始每位Pawnee居民的饮用水中都会含有H-2-流
As of tomorrow, every Pawnee resident will have H-2-flow in their drinking water.
很好的消息啊
That's great news.
H-2-流就是氟化物对吧
H-2-flow is fluoride, right?
我觉得是
I think so.
我会再和Tom检查一遍的但我大概 95%确定
I'll double-check with Tom, but I'm, like, 95% sure.
哇看看我俩
Wow. Look at us.
两个人马上就要有零份工作了
Two people, who are about to have zero jobs.
很奇怪对吧 - 你和我--
Weird, huh? - You and I--
我们总会转危为安的对吧
we always land on our feet, right?
对啊 - 啊哦
Yeah. - Uh-oh!
猜猜谁赢得了那件纯蓝色T恤呢
Guess who won that plain blue T-shirt?
不会吧看看它有多蓝啊
No way! Look how blue it is.
哇事情已经开始好转了呢
Wow. Things are already looking up.
对啊
Yeah!