公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S06E14

Part 3 Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.

We're like the new version of iTunes, baby.
我们会永远在这里的
We're gonna be here forever.
哦天啊
Oh, my God.
我有一天会死的
I'm gonna die someday.
嗯我们就希望内心深处这两人还相爱吧
Well, let's just hope that deep down these two still love each other.
嘿别碰我又不是你生日
Hey, no touching. This is not your birthday.
你看海鲜饭的技巧就是用恰当量的藏红花
Now, you see, the trick with paella is to use just enough saffron
来衬托出贝壳的味道 - 好吧
to complement the shellfish. - Okay.
哦天啊那也太好吃了 - 哦是啊
Oh, man, that is so good. - Oh, yeah.
哇很激动吧就在几分钟后
Wow, isn't this exciting? In just a few minutes,
你们要在电视上表达爱意了
you are going to be professing your love on television.
我们继续之前我能喝杯水吗
Could I have a glass of water before we go on?
别给他喝水他有这个烦人的坏习惯每次
Don't give him any water. He does this annoying thing where every time
他喝一杯水他就会喊"啊..."
he takes a drink of water he goes, "Ah..."
她有这个烦人的坏习惯每次
She does this annoying thing where every time
她喝一杯水她就会乱骂
she takes a drink of water she is an old nag.
啊同一个队夫妻的调皮玩笑
Ah, the playful banter of a couple on the same team.
这就是那种对吧 - 好了我们来消耗精力吧
That's what this is, right? - All right, let's burn this candle.
Joan 能在给我们一点点时间吗我们需要准备好
Joan, if we could just have a moment. We need to get ready.
哦不不我们得开始了是啊兴♥奋♥剂♥开始起效了
Oh, no, no. We gotta go. Yeah, the uppers are kicking in.
吃了点安♥眠♥药♥来顺滑一下所以我正在最佳点呢
Just took some ludes to kind of smooth it out, so I'm right in that sweet spot.
还有20分钟我就会变得特别疲惫
Got about 20 minutes before I either get really tired
或者特别饥渴所以我们开拍吧
or really horny, so let's roll.
Dougie 你确定想上电视吗
Dougie, are you sure you want to go on television?
你看起来像是个被夹进割草机的皮手套
You look like a leather glove got caught in a lawnmower.
好吧你们知道吗我得承认点事情
Okay, you know what? I'm going to admit something.
Pawnee-Eagleton合并是我安排的
I orchestrated the Pawnee-Eagleton merger,
而我希望你们的婚姻可以向人们展示
and I was hoping that your marriage could show people
开心的结合是有可能的
that a happy union is possible.
所以你们上去的时候你们能就你知道
So when you're out there, if you could just, you know,
回看过去50年然后关注好的事情可以吗
look back over the past 50 years together and focus on the good times, okay?
Donna 你想见我吗
Donna, you wanted to see me?
是的我想喷子
Yes, I did, troll.
什么 - 上周你想领养一只猫然后被我拒绝了
What? - You tried to adopt a cat last week and I turned you down,
因为我觉得你有六只猫真的太悲哀了
because I thought it was too sad for you to have six cats.
然后你试着在网上曝光我
Then you tried to blow up my spot online.
你被开除了
You're fired.
你不是我的老板啊我在市政律师办公室上班啊
You're not my boss, I work for the city attorney's office.
你被开除了
You're fired.
寄信到加拿大要多少邮费啊
How much postage does it take to send a letter to Canada?
寄给谁的 - 加拿大
Who's it going to? - Canada.
信中说的是 "亲爱的加拿大操♥你♥大♥爷♥的"
It says, "Dear Canada, fuck you."
Doug和Rosie DeMarco 50年了
Doug and Rosie DeMarco, 50 years.
啊
Ahh.
告诉我们你们是怎么认识的
Tell us how you first met.
嗯那是1963年
Well, it was 1963,
然后我们认识了然后很棒
and we met, and it was great.
爱情不伟大吗
Isn't love grand?
50年的婚姻帮助连接Pawnee和Eagleton毫无意义的分♥裂♥
50 years of marriage, helping to bridge the meaningless divide between Pawnee and Eagleton.
嗯我的节目我问问题
Yeah, my show, my questions.
所以我们都应该放上我们婚姻汉堡的秘密酱汁是什么呢
So what is the secret sauce that we should all be putting on our marriage burgers?
嗯我们永远不把生气带上♥床♥
Well, we never go to bed angry.
永远永远都没想到是这样
Never, ever would have thought of that.
啊 - 好吧我做不到
Ahh. - Okay. I can't do this.
Leslie 你的钱就留着吧
Leslie, you can keep your money.
钱-什么钱
M-money?
你贿赂他们来这里的吗
Did you bribe them to be here?
不我... - Leslie给我们一人200上节目坚持住...
No, I... - Leslie offered us each 200 bucks to keep this going...
啊... - 但根本不可能
Ah... - But it's impossible.
你想知道我们为什么结婚吗
You want to know why we got married?
来吧 - 我没有未来而这位Dougie有酗酒问题
Bring it. - I had no prospects, and Dougie here had an alcohol problem.
而且冷战正当时
Plus the Cold War was happening,
实话讲我们都觉得我们会死的
and frankly, we all thought we were gonna die.
嗯我想着我可以真的用和Pawnee垃圾同居激怒我父母
Well, I figured I could really tick off my parents by shacking up with some Pawnee trash.
呀哒哒哒哒好了
Ya-ta-ta-ta-ta. Okay.
我们都同意婚姻都有起起伏伏
We all agree that marriages have their ups and downs,
但到了最后它们都是值得的因为...
but at the end of the day, they're worth it because...
谁喜欢踢踏舞啊
Who likes tap dancing?
1979年我和Sharon睡了
I slept with Sharon in 1979.
我曾经故意在你弟弟面前从浴室出来
I used to get out of the shower in front of your brother on purpose.
嘿 Leslie 谁在乎呢他们是老人啊
Hey, Leslie, who cares? They're old people.
他们吃饭他们睡觉他们抱怨他们还看《家庭问答》
They eat, they sleep, they complain, and they watch Family Feud.
哦天啊我想当个老人
Oh, my God, I wanna be an old person.
啊我也不知道该怎么做了
Gah, I don't know what to do.
我希望Ben在这啊他现在在干嘛呢
I wish Ben was here. What is he doing right now?
哦天啊
Oh, man!
你做得很好 - Larry
You did good! - Larry!
哦哇谢谢你
Whoa! Wow. Thank you.
我能帮你吗
Can I help you?
是啊我是生菜食客的店主 Lowell大道上的那家素食餐厅
Yeah, I own Lettuce Eat, the vegan restaurant on Lowell Drive,
我想知道你为啥把这封信钉我门上了
and I wanted to know why you nailed this letter to my door.
"素食主义是道德败坏的头脑导致的悲哀结果重新考虑你的生活吧"
"Veganism is the sad result of a morally corrupt mind. Reconsider your life."
因为我这么相信日安
Because I believe it. Good day.
食肉动物你们都是一样的
Carnivores. You're all the same.
那个家伙怎么知道去哪找你的
How did that guy know where to find you?
我假设他看到我的名字和地址
I assume he saw my name and address
写在我钉在他门上那封信的结尾了
at the bottom of the letter I nailed to his door.
你签了真名吗 - 我当然签了
You signed your real name? - Of course I did.
能发生什么呢一个素食者对我身体攻击吗
What's gonna happen? A vegan is gonna physically attack me?
他们基本上都是玻璃做的
They're basically made of glass.
但更重要的是如果你相信什么就要签上你的名字
But more importantly, if you believe in something, you sign your name to it.
所以苏打水的生产厂家
Which is why the makers of carbonated water
马上就会知道去哪找我了
will soon know exactly where to find me.
Donna 那些话不是Kyle写的好吧
Donna, Kyle did not write those things, okay?
是我
I did.
我知道 - 你知道啊
I know. - You do?
我看了那个用户还写了什么
I checked what else that user had written.
它有一条殡仪馆的点评说的是"超棒初次约会地点"
It was a review of a funeral home that said "Great first date spot."
我把Kyle拖下水是看你会不会坦白
I dragged Kyle in here to see if you would come clean.
嗯你高估了我有多在乎Kyle
Well, you overestimated how much I care what happens to Kyle.
或者其他任何人真的但是...
Or anyone, really. But...
很抱歉我不是直接跟你聊
I'm sorry that I didn't just talk to you.
而我很抱歉我翘了班
And I'm sorry I bailed on work.
而我很抱歉我玩弄了你而不是跟你直说
And I'm sorry I toyed with you instead of coming at you straight.
从现在开始我们直接说自己的感受
From now on, we say what we feel.
好吗 - 好
Cool? - Cool.
你的唇膏看起来很奇怪
Your lipstick looks weird.
你现在就想要闭嘴了
You're gonna want to shut your mouth right now.
聊得不错
Good talk.
我不知道了或许Pawnee人和Eagleton人就不适合共存
I don't know. Maybe Pawneeans and Eagletonians aren't meant to coexist.
嗯至少我们的合并状态不错
Well, at least our merger is going well.
干杯 - 干杯
Cheers. - Cheers.
你知道 Andy和Tom说DeMarco一家不重要是对的
You know, Andy and Tom were right when they said the DeMarcos don't matter.
他们那一代是过去了
Their generation's the past.
让这次合并生根的方式是关注未来
The way to make this merger take hold is to focus on the future.
当然了
Of course.
孩子们孩子们是我们的未来
The children. The children are our future.
Whitney Houston《Greatest Love of All》的歌♥词
Whitney Houston知道你也知道我也知道
Whitney Houston knew it, and so do you, and so do I.
我需要你帮我做件事
I'm gonna need your help on something.
我觉得我们应该开始工作... - 哦
I think we should go to work... - Oh.
但不是现在我们在吃饭
But not now. We're having dinner.
该死这个海鲜饭太好了你在里面放了藏红花吗
Damn, this paella is good. Did you put saffron in here?
让贝壳的味道太好吃了
It makes the shellfish taste delicious.
是的是的它就是
Yes. Yes, it does.
好了这个房♥间里的人
Okay, the people in this room
就是Pawnee-Eagleton青年委员会的最初成员了
are the first members of the Pawnee-Eagleton Youth Committee.
现在 April说年轻人觉得"委员会"这个词很没劲
Now, April says that young people think the word "committee" is lame,
所以我们就把这当做一次超级放松的有趣的面基活动
so let's just think of this as a like a super chill, fun e-hangout.
更糟了那个更糟
Worse. That's worse.
好了新人们我们介绍一下自己
Okay, new people. Let's introduce ourselves.