公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation S06E08
Part 2
Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.
Oh, I've got to pick up Gayle at the airport.
Larry 我对上天发誓
Larry, I swear to God,
如果你现在走了 我们会让你的精神狗狗变成小雪纳瑞
if you leave right now, we will make your spirit dog a miniature schnauzer.
那很糟糕吗 - 是的
Is that bad? - Yes!
进去吧
Get in there!
Ann找到了这个地方
Ann found this place.
我们就是在这买♥♥的"自然之声"机器
It's where we bought our "Sounds of Nature" machine.
你买♥♥了个机器作为打开窗户的复♥制♥品吗
You bought a machine that replicates an open window?
Frasier 我是Chris Traeger 记得我吗
Frasier! Chris Traeger. Do you remember me?
Vanna White 《幸运之轮》主持人
我之前来找过Vanna White的育儿书--
I came in here looking for the Vanna White book on child care--
《我想解开育儿之谜》
I'd like to solve the puzzle of parenting.
你能给我朋友Ron 看看卖♥♥给我的那个超棒的婴儿床吗
Could you show my friend, Ron, that amazing crib that you sold me?
那个"爱宝宝小甜心永永远远dou安全"型号♥
The Babylove L'il Sweetheart Safe 4 Ever and Ever model.
哦 是的 那玩意儿很危险
Oh, yeah, that thing is a deathtrap.
你说什么 - 今早发现的-- 它被召回了
I'm sorry? - Just found out this morning-- it's being recalled.
他们在胶水里找到了双环芬他酚
They found maxicylofentabol in the glue.
那是好事吗 听起来很糟
Is that good? It sounds bad.
把我的指甲都烧掉了
It burned off my fingernails.
我在车里等
I'll be in the car.
Leslie Knope女议员想把氟化物
Councilwoman Leslie Knope wants to put fluoride,
那是个化学物质 放进你们的饮用水里
which is a chemical, into your drinking water.
均有剧毒
你们知道还有什么是化学物质吗 马钱子碱和氰化物
You know what else is a chemical? Strychnine and cyanide.
啥 - 还有土...还有铁锈甚至碎玻璃
What? - And dirt... and rust and even broken glass.
正是
Exactly.
你肯定很理解化学物质是什么 Perd
You definitely understand what chemicals are, Perd.
我想建议 如果你们想联♥系♥那个
I would suggest if you want to contact the psychopath
想让你们的孩子成为数学差的 communist的氟化僵尸的精神病人
that wants to turn your kids into bad-at-math, communist fluoride zombies,
嗯 就打屏幕下方的那个号♥码吧
well, just call the number at the bottom of your screen.
Leslie Knope
Leslie Knope.
请别说了 你猜怎么着
Stop right there. You know what?
氟化物能保护你的牙齿 对你是完全健康的
Fluoride protects your teeth, and it's perfectly healthy for you.
嗯 如果Jamm那么说 那他就是个撒谎的蠢货
Well, if Jamm says that, then he is a lying idiot,
如果你相信的话 那你也是
and if you believe it, then so are you.
哇 你跟那个人说话的方式就像我跟你一样
Whoa. You just talked to that person like I talk to you.
你不能那么做的 - 为啥不能
You can't do that. - Why not?
他们能怎么办呢 把我踢出市议会吗
What are they gonna do, kick me out of office?
我为啥花了这么久才明白
Why did it take me so long to realize this?
我的行为已经没有任何后果了
There are no consequences to my actions anymore.
不管我做什么 真的没有坏事能发生在我身上
No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me.
我就像是个白男美国参议员
I'm like a white, male U.S. senator.
氟化物要进水 笨蛋
Fluoride is going into the water, moron.
哦 嘿 妈 抱歉
Oh. Hey, mom. Sorry.
因为它只会避免蛀牙啊
Because all it does is prevent cavities!
天啊 我还对你有指望呢
God! I expected more from you.
好嘞 我现在要放飞自我了
Right. I'm a loose cannon.
我们需要以毒攻毒
We need to fight fire with fire.
我召开一次市政厅会议 我把大家聚集起来
I call a town hall meeting, I gather everyone together,
我分发活页夹
I distribute the binders,
但现在活页夹都是亮黄色了
but now the binders are bright yellow!
哈
Boom!
太过分了吗 - 太啥也不是
Too extreme? - Too nothing.
你看 Jamm已经把氟化物毁了 所有人都害怕了
Look, Jamm's already ruined fluoride. Everyone's scared of it.
要是我们就叫成其他东西呢
What if we just called it something else?
你什么意思 - 我意思是重新包装
What do you mean? - I mean we rebrand.
没人在乎Calvin Broadus直到他开始叫自己Snoopy Doggy Dogg
No one cared about Calvin Broadus until he started calling himself Snoop Doggy Dogg.
然后等人们听累了 他就改名叫Snoop Dogg
Then when people got tired of that, he went by Snoop Dogg,
现在他是Snoop狮子了
and now he's Snoop Lion.
十年后他会是啥--Snoop激光蛇吗
What's he gonna be in ten years--Snoop Laser Snake?
谁知道呢 - 你是什么意思--我们得让氟化物性感一点吗
Who knows? - What are you saying-- we need to sex up fluoride?
我不知道啊 Tom 已经是个挺性感的话题了
I don't know, Tom. It's a pretty sexy topic already.
Leslie 你得给出一些让他们激动的东西
Leslie, you got to give people something to get excited about.
你告诉我要完全利用我工作的优势
You told me to make the most of my job.
我擅长这些东西
I'm good at this stuff.
现在 你到底要不要放飞自我
Now, are you a loose cannon or not?
来啊
Yeah.
我放飞得像房♥费一样 做你的事吧 Tom
I'm as loose as a goose. Do your thing, Tom.
嗯 记住 关键是找到一条能概括你情绪的狗
Now, remember, it's about finding a dog that captures your spirit.
你们看 这是Craig
See? This is Craig.
哦不 简直是疯了 你选那条的话我就把这个地方烧成平地
Oh, no! That is insane! I will burn this place to the ground if you pick that one!
好吧 选得好
Okay, good choice.
你们呐 这是Leslie
You guys, Leslie.
是的 还有...
Yes! And...
Ron Swanson
Ron Swanson.
哦 - 哦天啊 这是Larry
Oh! - Oh, my God. This is Larry.
很棒啊 - 中奖 Donna 搞定了
That's great. - Bingo. Donna. Nailed it.
哦
Ooh.
因为你很好看 喜欢打扮之类的
Because you're pretty and you like makeup and stuff.
游戏结束了
Game over.
Ron 我想像Swanson一样行事
Ron, I want to do things the Swanson way.
好的 第一条 对话不超一百字
Wonderful. First rule-- no conversation lasts longer than 100 total words.
你用九个 我用二十
You have used 9. I have used 20.
继续 - 有意思
Continue. - Fun.
请你教我做婴儿床
I'd like you to teach me to build a crib.
为什么你要自己做
Why do you need to build your own crib?
因为我只相信亲手做的东西
Because I no longer trust anything other than my own two hands.
很衰弱 但很激动 - 好 午饭去我木工场
It is debilitating, but exciting. - Okay, we'll go to my woodshop at lunch.
太好了 看看我们
Wonderful. Look at us--
都在为父的交点
both standing on the cusp of fatherhood.
我们共处不多
I know we haven't spent a lot of time together,
但是-- - 100
but-- - 100.
好的 所以 结论是...
All right, so, in conclusion...
氟化物 化学物质
fluoride, chemical,
小鸡鸡 错误信息 恐慌 死亡 Jenny McCarthy
tiny genitals, misinformation, panic, death, Jenny McCarthy.
嗯 我不知道啊 议员
Well, I don't know, councilman.
听着有点干啊
That was a little dry.
我们玩得开心一点怎么样 啊
What do you say we have some fun, huh?
看看这个
Check this.
白水吗 呸
Plain water? Yuck.
我好无聊
I'm bored.
那就试试这个
Then try this.
怎么-- 发生什么了
What the-- what just happened?
那杯水里包含牙闪亮
That water contains teeth dazzler,
会让你的牙齿更强壮 而且在你的嘴里开趴体
which makes your teeth stronger and starts a party in your mouth.
什么 氟化物太无聊了 伙计们
What? Fluoride's boring, guys.
呸
Boo!
欢迎来到牙闪亮 这不是个化学物质
Welcome to T-dazzle. It's not a chemical.
这是个基于水的社交媒体口部体验
It's an aquatic-based social-media oral experience.
所有人在下一个小时里发推包含#牙闪亮#话题
Everyone who tweets at #T-dazzle in the next hour
就有机会赢得一件激动人心的纯蓝T恤
will be entered to win an exciting plain blue T-shirt.
我说牙 你们说闪亮
I say "T," you say "dazzle."
牙 - 闪亮
"T." - Dazzle.
牙 - 闪亮
"T." - Dazzle.
牙 - 闪亮
"T." - Dazzle.
感谢你的木工课 Ron
Thank you for the woodworking lesson, Ron.
这整个婴儿床召回的事情真的让我重新考虑一切
This whole crib-recall thing has got me literally rethinking everything
我以为我了解的育儿知识
I thought I knew about parenting.
你用的睡眠方式是什么
What sleep method will you be using--
Ferber的哭声控制法 还是Sears的亲密育儿法
Ferber, Sears?
Swanson方法
Swanson method,
你闭上眼睛然后入睡
where you close your eyes and fall asleep.
我真心希望Ron能参与
I really wish Ron would engage,
但他流露出太多的智慧
but he exudes so much wisdom
只要他在旁边我就能学到很多育儿技巧
that I can learn parenting tips simply by being in his presence.
像Ron这样的人 没有教的时候也在教
Someone like Ron is teaching even when they're not teaching.
这么说有意义吗
Does that make sense?
我的焦虑已经让我超过50个小时没睡了
My anxiety has kept me up for over 50 hours.
我们的民调显示72%的市民愿意将"牙闪亮"加入他们的水
Our polling shows that 72% of citizens are in favor of adding T-dazzle to their water,
有效的消灭了Jamm议员所谓的净水法案
effectively killing Councilman Jamm's so-called Clean Water Bill.
吃瘪吧 Jamm 我赢了
Eat it, Jamm. I won.
接受道歉
公园与游憩（2009）
Parks and Recreation
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