公园与游憩（2009）

Parks and Recreation S06E12

Part 2 Feb. 20, 2024, 9:35 p.m.

to discuss workplace disputes with my employees.
规则没有明确是否允许我
The rules do not specify whether or not I'm allowed to listen
同时在耳机里听Willie Nelson
to Willie Nelson on my headphones.
然后Kyle又停在我的车位里了
And Kyle parked his car in my spot again.
那可是这个月的第四次了
Now, that is the fourth time this month.
Willie Nelson - Hello Walls
你好墙壁
Hello, walls
你好
Hello
你今天过得如何呢
♪ How'd things go for you today? ♪
我只想掐到他昏过去
I just want to choke him until he passes out.
时间到 - 看起来挺好玩我想试试
Time. - This looks like fun. I want to try.
嗯这是有规矩的甜豌豆下一个轮到Donna
Mm, there's rules to this, sweet pea. It's Donna's turn next.
我把我的时间割让给Ann
I'll cede my time to Ann.
我有种感觉这会很棒的
I have a feeling this is gonna be good.
好吧嗯我不会讲很久因为我又要去尿了
Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk for long, 'cause I have to pee again,
因为我每六分钟就要尿一次
'cause I have to pee every six minutes,
因为我胃里有个沙滩球在殴打我的膀胱
'cause I have a beach ball in my stomach that's punching on my bladder.
好糟 - 我知道啊
That sucks. - I know.
而且我永远都在饿 - 哦嗯吃点奶酪吧
And I'm never not hungry. - Oh, well, have some cheese.
我不能吃奶酪啊 Larry 而且我也不能喝酒
I can't have cheese, Larry! And I can't have wine either.
我不能吃任何好东西
I can't have anything good.
你知道我能吃的只有液化的亚麻籽
You know, what I can have is liquefied flaxseed.
但我不想要你们知道我想要啥
But I don't want that. You know what I want?
炸猪皮我想吃橡皮糖
Pork rinds. I want jelly beans.
而且我想吃一整个垃圾袋装满的土豆泥
And I want a huge trash bag filled with mashed potatoes.
我想变成吃豆人但不是豆子我想让它们都变成肉桂卷
I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns.
我想变成一个巨大的头和一张嘴巴
I want to be a giant head and a mouth,
而且我只想吃一排又一排的垃圾食物小球
and I just want to eat rows and rows of junk food pellets,
而且我的土豆泥垃圾袋呢
and where's my trash bag of potatoes?
...时间到
Time.
噫
Yikes.
好了 Harrison Ford电影之夜
Okay, Harrison Ford movie night.
开始之前我更多想到的是那个甜菜男
Before we do that, I was thinking more about that chard guy.
我是说让你吊销他们的营业执照会非常简单啊
I mean, it would be very easy for you to revoke their license.
好了 Leslie 这是市政事务我也是不是个皇帝
Okay, Leslie, this is city business, and I'm not an emperor.
我不能就毫无理由地赶他们走
I can't just kick them out for no reason.
理由就是那是蔬菜色情
The reason is it's vegetable porn.
欲米棒子
Porn on the cob.
抱歉我就是非常擅长这个
I'm sorry. I'm just very good at that.
你看我也不是过分正经但重点是
Look, I am not a prude, but the point is,
人们不应该是半裸的
people shouldn't be half naked,
你知道吗在公共场合在大白天在孩子面前
you know, in public, in the middle of the day, in front of children.
那就是你要的原因了赶他们出去
There's your reason. Kick them out.
你看现在我们又一起工作了
Look, now that we're working together again,
把我们的家庭生活和工作生活分开或许是好事
maybe it would be good to keep our home life and our work life separate.
就像我们只在市政厅讨论工作的事情
Like we only talk about work stuff when we're at city hall,
像一个防火墙系统
like a firewall system.
是啊是啊好挺聪明
Yeah. Yeah, okay. That's smart.
家庭是家庭工作是工作
Home is home, and work is work.
我们明天在办公室总是能讨论这个的
We can always talk about this tomorrow at the office.
很好很高兴你同意
Good. Glad you agree.
指《夺宝奇兵4》
好了那就看《水晶骷髅王国》吧
All right. Crystal Skull it is.
不觉得跳进冰箱就能从核爆中存活是很离谱的
No, it's ridiculous to think that you could survive a nuclear blast by jumping into a refrigerator.
嗯哼是啊嗯哈 - 但还是就比方--
Mm-hmm, yeah, uh-huh. - But still, it's like--
好吧所以我找到一个法律上的先例
Okay, so I found a legal precedent
能关掉那些蔬菜污秽贩子
to shut down those vegetable smut peddlers.
发生什么了啊
What is happening?
防火墙啊大哥
Firewall, man.
我们开进了停车场这里严格来说是市政厅地♥产♥
We pulled into the parking lot, and this is technically city hall property,
所以我们进入工作状态了--我们来吧
so now we're at work-- let's do this.
农民市场是个社区聚集地
The farmers market is a community meeting place,
而那个泛性恋脱衣舞秀基本上否定了整个目的
and that pan-sexual stripper show basically negates the whole purpose.
所以如果你在找一个踢出他们的理由这里有158个
So if you're looking for a reason to kick them out, here's 158.
新的农民市场行为准则
The new farmers market rule book.
好吧你是什么时候做的这个
Okay, when did you make this?
我熬了个通宵
I stayed up all night.
我也做了这些--
I also made these--
Leslie的太妃惊喜
Leslie's toffee surprise.
惊喜是里面有太妃糖...
The surprise is there's toffee in the inside.
等你吊销甜菜商家的执照之后你就能吃了
You can eat those once you revoke the chard vendor's license.
日安同事
Good day, colleague.
好吧
Okay.
Ann Perkins 你感觉如何
Ann Perkins! How are you feeling?
你不想知道的 - 我只想知道这
You don't want to know. - It's all I want to know.
好吧大哥你自找的
All right, man, you asked for it.
我的疼痛从我屁♥股♥一路喷射到我脖子
I have shooting pains that go all the way up from my butt to my neck.
我肚子上的妊娠纹多到
My stomach has so many stretch marks on it
看起来像老式地球仪
that it looks like an old-fashioned globe.
我的胸真的变得特别酸痛
My boobs are getting really sore.
还有我刚刚读过了Brooke Shields的关于产后抑郁的书
Also, I just read Brooke Shields' book on post-partum depression.
现在我有产后抑郁前焦虑了
Now I have pre-post-partum depression anxiety.
嗯别怕
Well, never fear.
我拿点泰诺给你止痛乳木果油给你的肚子
I will get you Tylenol for your pain and shea butter for your belly.
而你撩人的身形只意味着你的身体
And your voluptuous figure only means your body is working
就像大自然计划的那样工作着
exactly as nature intended it.
你看没事了好点了吗
There, it's all good. Is that better?
是啊谢了
Yeah. Thanks.
我读了一些关于乳♥头♥的材料
I've been reading up on nipples.
你的乳♥头♥现在感觉敏感
The reason that you're feeling nipple sensitivity
是因为你乳♥头♥里的乳导管正在打开
is because your milk ducts in your nipples are opening up,
所以我给你买♥♥了这个乳♥头♥套装
which is why I bought you this nipple kit.
是来自Kernsten's的乳♥头♥人
It's from Kernsten's-- the nipple people.
里面有乳♥头♥霜乳♥头♥垫还有个特殊的乳♥头♥痘药膏
It has nipple cream, nipple pads, and also a special nipple pimple ointment
如果你在乳♥头♥上长了小痘的话
in case you develop any pimples on your nipples.
哦天啊你得别再用"乳♥头♥"这个词了
Oh, my God, you have to stop using the word "nipple."
好吧总之
Okay. Anyway.
希望那些能帮你解决你得敏感问题可能出现在你的...
Hopefully that will help you with any sensitivity that may arise around your...
胸帽上
boob hats.
Larry 进来赶紧的
Larry, get in there! Come on!
怎么--我甚至不知道我们来做什么
What do--I don't even know what we're doing.
这一切的缘由是什么啊护士
What is the meaning of this, nurse?
紧急牢骚奶酪俱乐部
Emergency whine & cheese club.
把耳机戴上吧 Ron 我有一大堆抱怨
Put your headphones on, Ron. I have a lot of complaints.
坐下我需要发泄了
Sit down. I need to vent.
而且任何情况下都不要回应我说的任何话
And do not under any circumstances respond to anything I say.
好了
All right.
我们来聊呕吐吧孩子们
Let's talk about vomit, kids.
我一天到晚都这样
I do it all day long.
*超级好玩*
♪ Super fun
*感觉超级棒*
♪ It feels super good
*我想一直这么做*
♪ I wanna do it all the time
*做♥爱♥好酷*
♪ Sex is cool
好了《做♥爱♥好酷》搞定了
Okay, Sex Is Cool. Got that.
我觉得我们以《醉翻了天》收尾
I say we finish on Drunk Off Our Asses.
而且我觉得我们应该唱《太空做♥爱♥》
And I think we should do Sex in Space.
它20分钟长但是真的很好
It's 20 minutes long, but it's really good.
宝我觉得你不该给一群六岁小孩唱这里任何一首
Babe, I don't think you should play any of those songs for a group of six-year-olds.
哇等等-- 六岁小孩吗
Whoa, wait-- six-year-olds?
你是给我们订了个儿童派对的活吗
Did you book us a gig at a kids' party?
你说我们要上音乐节啊
You said we were playing at a festival.
涅槃乐队Nirvana的鼓手
你说Dave Grohl会去的
You said Dave Grohl might be there.
Dave Grohl可能会去啊我也不知道
Dave Grohl might be there. I don't know.
他哪都可能去
He might be anywhere.
那家伙太棒了而且他无法预料啊
The guy's awesome, and he's unpredictable.
不不我不会为一群尖叫的小孩演奏的
No, no, I'm not playing for a bunch of screaming kids.
The Wiggles 澳大利亚著名儿童表演团体
老鼠耗子是摇滚乐队我们不是The Wiggles
Mouse Rat is a rock band. We're not the Wiggles.
不是吧
Come on!
我已经厌倦这个乐队的戏剧情节了
I'm sick of all the drama with this band.
我-我退出我要回到犹太法学学校了
I-I quit. I'm going back to rabbinical school.
脐带什么学校