No. I should just let this go. Okay.
大哥 你在干嘛呢
Dude, what are you doing?
那看起来像是个挺好的萨克斯箱子啊
That looks like a perfectly good saxophone case.
等等 箱子里面是啥
Wait a minute. What's inside that case?
我要结束我的秘密音乐事业了
I am ending my secret musical career.
我必须杀了银爵士 - 不 别啊 兄弟
I have to kill Duke Silver. - No, come on, man.
你真的很棒 你不能退出啊 - 抱歉 Andrew
You're really good. You can't quit. - Sorry, Andrew.
我宁愿再不演奏也不想所有人知道我的秘密
I would rather never play again than have everyone know my secret.
再见了 银爵士
Good-bye, Duke Silver.
愿你安息...于爵士乐
May you rest... in jazz.
所以 Tom说你是某种电脑专家
So, Tom told you are sort of like a computer expert.
呃...是啊 可以这么说
Uh... yeah. You can say that.
这些混♥蛋♥想劫持我的在线调查
These jerks are trying to hijack my online poll,
而迄今领先的镇口号♥是
and so far the leading town slogan is,
"Leslie Knope屁棍之家"
"Home of the stick up Leslie Knope's butt."
是啊 是啊 我也投了那个
Yeah, yeah. I voted for that one.
很好 我在想 有办法让我跟每个投票的人沟通吗
Great. I'm wondering, is there a way I can communicate with everybody who voted?
行 我能做到 大概需要两分钟
Yeah, I can do that. Should take about two minutes.
有空往我支付宝打点比特币就行
Just PayPal me some bitcoins when you get a chance.
什么
What?
所以 这家远低于你的预算
So, this is way under your budget.
曾经是甜甜圈店 嗯 一家卖♥♥甜甜圈的轮胎店
Used to be a donut shop. Well, a tire shop that sold donuts.
挺粗糙啊 我是说 我猜我可以修好屋顶 拆掉柜台
Pretty rough. I mean, I guess I could fix the roof and tear up the counters.
做个除味之类 - 这个地方很诡异
Do something about the smell. - This place is creepy.
我是说 我喜欢 因为它让我想到一家闹鬼疗养院里的餐厅 但...那是我个人看法
I mean, I love it, because it reminds me of the cafeteria in a haunted nursing home, but... that's just me.
这是我名录上最后一个不是犯罪现场的地方了
This is the last listing I have that isn't an active crime scene.
嘿 兄弟 发生什么了 我以为侏罗纪刀叉超级受欢迎呢
Hey, man, what happened? I thought Jurassic Fork was super popular.
我们扩张到第二个店址 应付不来了
We stretched ourselves too thin by expanding to a second location.
你们又开了一家恐龙主题的餐厅吗
You opened another dinosaur-themed restaurant?
不 一家斯皮尔伯格主题的餐厅
No, another Steven Spielberg-themed restaurant.
镇中心的德国菜-- 辛德勒的菜单
The German place downtown-- Schindler's Lunch.
我觉得你们可能误解了人们喜欢侏罗纪刀叉的理由
I think you may have misunderstood what people liked about Jurassic Fork.
我实际上觉得这个空间还挺酷的呢
I actually think the space is pretty cool.
显然 我们必须移开这个霸王龙 但是--
Obviously, we'd had to move this T-Rex, but--
做不到 那是个承重的霸王龙
No can do. That's a load-bearing T-Rex.
这真的是你有的地方里最后一个能用的了
This is really the last place you have available?
该死 或许Tom的小酒馆注定就行不通呢
Dang. Maybe Tom's Bistro wasn't meant to be.
你想见我吗 - 是啊 就一会儿
You wanted to see me? - Yeah, real quick.
记得你说过你会停下那个口号♥的事情吗
Remember when you said you would close up shop on the slogan thing?
是啊 - 你确实停了 对吧
Yes. - You did do that, right?
你没有莫名其妙地拿到了每个
You didn't somehow get the email addresses for every person
给"屁♥股♥棍子"投票的人的邮箱
who voted for the "Stick up the butt" slogan
然后给他们每个人写了封动情的私人的邮件
and then write each of them a personalized heartfelt email
告诉他们做正确的事情投给真正的口号♥吧
telling them to do the right thing and vote for a real slogan?
你疯了吗 你刚刚真是用好笑的词在说些疯话
Are you crazy? What a crazy talk you just did with your funny words.
嗯 有人写了哪些邮件啊
Well, someone wrote those emails.
而我们收到了大概300次投诉 锦上添花的是
And we got about 300 complaints and as a cherry on top
有些黑客真的对隐私侵犯很生气
some hackers got really mad about the invasion of privacy
攻击了网站
and attacked the website.
看看他们对Peebo做了什么
Look what they did to Peebo.
他戴着一顶阴♥茎♥做的帽子
He's wearing a hat made of penises.
哦 天啊
Oh, boy.
嗯 IT正在修补网站 但它会下线大概三天
Well, I.T. is fixing the website, but it will be down for about three days.
嗯 不用担心 我会个人解决所有泛滥的工作
Well, no worries, I will handle all of the overflow work personally.
停车罚单 违规记录-- 全部送给我 - 发生什么了
Parking tickets, code violations-- send them all to me. - What's going on?
我不知道 我和Grant聊了那个国家公园部工作
I don't know. I spoke to Grant about the national parks job,
他提到大部分都是全局的计划和授权委托工作
and he mentioned that's mostly big picture planning and delegating,
而没多少我爱做的本质性的 亲身实践的事情
and not very much nitty-gritty, hands-on stuff that I love to do.
我会很想念的 非常想
I would miss that, very much.
我是说 我真的已经从公共喷泉里拉出最后一具浮肿的浣熊尸体了吗
I mean, have I really pulled my last bloated raccoon carcass from a public fountain?
但那就是往上爬的重点 你可以考虑得更宏观
But that's the whole point of moving up the ladder, you get to think bigger,
在更大的池子里游泳
swim in a bigger pond.
你要给口号♥开一个公共论♥坛♥ 对吧
You're having a public forum on the slogan, right?
用这个作为测试
Use it as a test.
把控制权交给别人 让他们处理事情
Hand the reins to someone else, let them handle things
而你在远处管理
while you manage from a distance.
是啊 那是个好主意
Yeah. That's a good idea.
我想我应该练习...
I guess I should practice...
委托 恶 好吧
delegating. Ugh! Okay.
公共论♥坛♥就交给...
The public forum will be run by...
哦不 我开始这句话的时候
Oh, no, I would not have started the sentence
没想到Larry是在这的唯一一个啊
if I knew Larry was the only one here.
宝 如果你能退后一步让Larry掌控 你怎么都能活下来
Babe, if you can step back and let Larry take control, you can survive anything.
好吧 Larry 你能进来一下吗
All right. Larry, can you get in here?
我很愿意 天啊该死
I would love to. Gosh darn it.
我-我不知怎么把皮带套在这把椅子的一根板条上
I-I somehow ran my belt through a slat in this chair
所以我有点--我现在有点卡住了
so I'm kind of--I'm kind of stuck to it now.
很好
Great.
你真不该把那个从垃圾堆里翻出来的
You really shouldn't have dug that out of the dumpster.
我必须 而且我在来的路上吃了个香蕉
I had to. Also I had a banana on the way over here.
对不起
Sorry.
我理解你不想让更多人知道银爵士的理由
I get why you don't want any more to know about Duke Silver,
而且你不用担心的
and you don't have to worry.
你的秘密在我这很安全
You secret is safe with me.
为了平衡 我要告诉你我所有的秘密
To even it out, I'm gonna tell you all of my secrets.
哦不 那就没必要了
Oh, no, that's not necessary.
我有次忘了刷牙 连续五个星期
I once forgot to brush my teeth for five weeks.
我上一辆车实际上不是卖♥♥掉的 我就忘了我停哪儿了
I didn't actually sell my last car. I just forgot where I parked it.
艾伯特·戈尔 1993-2001年担任美国副总统
我不知道Al Gore是谁 现在这个时候我已经太害怕问了
I don't know who Al Gore is. And at this point I'm too afraid to ask.
2%脂肪的低脂牛奶
他们说2%牛奶的时候 我不知道其他的98%是什么
When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is.
我还小的时候 我的头太大了 科学家们在我身上做过实验
When I was a baby, my head was so big scientists did experiments on me.
我有一次朝一只鹅扔了一瓶啤酒 然后它袭击了我的侄女Rebecca
I once threw beer at a swan, and then it attacked my niece Rebecca.
够了 Andrew
That'll do, Andrew.
你不需要在联合演唱会上演奏
You don't have to play the unity concert.
但别放弃音乐 拜托
But don't quit music. Please.
Tommy - 嘿
Tommy. - Hey.
你还好吗 - 没事
Are you okay? - Yeah.
我就是对这个餐厅太激动了
I just got excited about the restaurant
我可能该打给我的投资人 告诉他我们有个问题
but I should probably call my investor and tell him we have a problem.
嗯 我给你准备了让你振作的东西
Well, I got you something to cheer you up.
手表古龙
Watch cologne.
给手表用的古龙水 谢了
Cologne for watches. Thanks.
物质曾经让我好开心
Things used to make me so happy.
但我过去一年成长太多了
But I've grown a lot in the last year.
现在我只想要一个大东西
Now I just want one big thing,
我自己的餐厅 以我为名
my own restaurant, named after me,
赚好多的钱 让我想买♥♥什么都能买♥♥
that makes me so much money I can buy anything I want.
我该走了
I should go.
我不想让Tom离开
I didn't want Tom to leave,
所以我说了那些关于餐厅的坏话 让他不喜欢那些地方
so I said all these bad things about the restaurant, so he wouldn't like them.
该死 我们应该合作一下的
Damn, we should have coordinated.
我也不想让那个小怪精灵消失
I don't want to lose that weird little elf either.
所以我给他展示的才都是蹩脚的地方
That's why I showed him all those crappy places.
哦 我以为你就是不擅长你的工作呢
Oh, I thought you were just bad at your job.
对不起 我们该怎么做
Sorry. What should we do?
让我联♥系♥几个人
Let me call some people.
大家好 欢迎参加选择我们新镇口号♥的公共论♥坛♥
Hello, everyone, and welcome to a public forum to choose our new town slogan.
我要把会议交给Larry Gengurch
I'm gonna hand things over to Larry Gengurch,
他100%负责
who is 100% in charge.
嗯 我们就开始吧 哈
Well, let's just get started, huh?
我想讲讲-- 哦 是-- 哎呀我的神呀--
I want to talk about-- Oh, it's the-- geez Louise--
一直发生这种事 我不知道原因
This keeps happening. I don't know why.
我觉得口号♥应该是"Pawnee 饼干之家
I think the slogan should be "Pawnee, home of crackers,
印第安纳最橙色的金鱼
the orangest goldfish in Indiana."
好咯 - 别
Okey-dokey. - No.
让我写下来
Let me write it down.
谁需要什么口号♥啊 - 嗯 那 这就是个有趣的观点了
Who even needs a slogan? - Well, now, that is an interesting point.
不 那就是我口号♥的主意 "谁需要什么口号♥啊"
No, that's my slogan idea. "Who even needs a slogan?"
然后一张我向所有人竖中指的巨大照片
And then a big picture of me flipping everybody off.
我们关注重点吧 混♥蛋♥国度
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