寻找阿拉斯加

Looking for Alaska S01E06

Part 3 Feb. 10, 2020, 10:46 a.m.

Parents sorted everything out, everybody's friends.
他们的申请无效
Their applications have been purged
提交期限延长了的确没事
and the deadline was extended, yes.
我觉得这是没有受害者的犯罪
Sounds to me like a victimless crime.
他们的父母可不这么觉得
Well, their parents don't see it that way,
他们愿意闹上法庭甚至想叫警♥察♥
and they're willing to involve the courts, even the police.
你知道你做的事是违法的吗
Do you know that what you did was illegal?
那是个线上大学应用
It was an online college app.
那是用网络进行诈骗
It was using the Internet to commit fraud.
恕我直言先生
With all due respect, sir,
那是一篇关于拉屎在裤子里的论文
it was an essay about shitting your pants.
我不是笨蛋马丁先生
I'm no fool, Mr. Martin.
我知道这不是你一个人干的
I know you didn't do this alone,
我知道可能有谁帮助了你
and I know who probably helped you.
你想把他们也揪出来吗
Do you want to bring them down with you?
如果我开除你你乖乖离开这里
If I expel you and you go quietly,
那些父母们也许就会满意
that might be enough to satisfy these parents.
没有其他人需要再为此付出代价
No one else needs to pay for this.
所以只有妈妈在
So, just the black kid
给人端洋葱土豆煎饼的黑人小孩被开除
whose mom serves hash browns ends up getting expelled?
孩子不要说成...
Son, do not make this about‐‐
那样
about that.
拜托伙计
Come on, man.
他们一直在等这个机会
They've just been waiting on their chance.
那你为什么要给他们这个机会奇普
Then why did you give it to them, Chip?
给你24小时
You have 24 hours.
承认这个恶作剧是你一个人做的
Admit that this prank was yours and yours alone
这一切都解决了
and this matter is resolved.
如果你不从那就会开展调查
Fight and you will open up an investigation
可能会拖你的朋友们一起下水
that will bring your friends down with you.
我建议你去找他们告别吧
I suggest you start saying your good‐byes.
来看看我是不是还活着吗
Checking that I'm still alive?
小心点总是好事
Operating out of an abundance of caution.
人们总是很害怕安静
People are so still afraid of stillness.
你来看我只是为了打扰我吗
Is disturbing my tranquility the only reason for your visit?
我们差不多一直是这样但是
It is kind of becoming our thing, but, um...
不我是来给你这个的
No. I'm here to give you this.
我的论文
My paper...
现在是你的了
which is now yours and...
我也想告诉你我的任务失败了
to also let you know that I failed the assignment.
为什么呢
Oh? Why is that?
我的问题
My question...
没有答案
It has no answer.
最好的问题往往都没有答案
All the best questions don't.
所以那些问题才值得一问
That's what makes them worth asking.
那我做得很棒
Well, then I totally nailed it.
我们要如何离开痛苦的迷宫
阿♥拉♥斯加·杨
我们不用这样
We don't have to.
我只是觉得这可能...
I‐‐I just thought it might be, um...
是教程
instructional,
但如果这很尴尬
but if it's weird‐‐
《麦迪森镇的小贱♥人♥》
我不知道你有没有看过改编的那本书
Not sure you read the book that it's based on
或者看过那部电影
or watched the movie.
梅丽尔·斯特里普真的很棒
Meryl Streep is really good in it.
我是欧洲人迈尔斯
I'm European, Miles.
我也不是没看过黄♥片♥
It's not like I haven't seen a porno before.
-好吧 -好吧
‐ Okay. ‐ Okay.
来吧宝贝
Oh, come on, baby.
天啊太生动了
Oh, God, this is graphic.
他为什么这么用力拉她的头发
Why is he pulling her hair so much?
糟糕的主意这一点都没用
Bad idea. This is not helpful,
我还想说
and may I add,
改编并不忠实原著
not a faithful adaptation.
我们俩都认识一个
There is someone we both know
也许能帮我们的人
who could possibly help us.
如果你们问我在这种事上的意见那你们
If you're asking for my guidance in the matter, your, um...
你们的感情进展肯定很好
your relationship must be really progressing,
性意义上的
sexually speaking.
我知道这是个糟糕的主意
You know, I knew this was a bad idea.
这是个很好的主意
It's a great idea.
我恰好是这方面的专家
I happen to be an expert on the subject.
你们可以打给杰克证实我的能力
Feel free to call Jake to confirm my prowess.
不用了没事
No need. I'm fine.
那你能帮助我们吧
So, you can help us?
第一要务牙齿
First order of business, teeth.
舌头舔在根部
Tongue over the bottom ones.
嘴巴张大含住最上面
Mouth open wide to cover the top.
第二虽然有很多传言
Second order, despite the slang terminology,
但你不用真的要深喉
you don't actually have to be sword swallower.
不要干呕窒息或者没必要的耸动
No gagging, choking, or unwanted tea bagging.
我还是让你们两个女孩子单独聊吧
You know, I might just leave you ladies to talk about this.
不帕吉我们需要你
Oh, no, Pudge, we need you here.
因为等我们说完了
Because when we're done,
你要去食堂
you're gonna go to the dining hall
拿一个桃子我要教你
and you're gonna procure a peach, and I'm gonna show you
你要怎么回报劳拉
what you need to do for Lara in order to reciprocate.
现在
Now...
看好了
Observe.
我明白了
Oh, I see.
奇普
Chip.
怎么了孩子
What's wrong, hon?
妈妈如果我搞砸了一切你还会爱我吗
Mom, would you still love me even if I messed everything up?
过来过来
Come here. Come here.
当然了
Of course.
上校你在干什么
Hey Colonel, what are you doing?
你开着阿♥拉♥斯加的车从哪里来
Where are you coming from in Alaska's car?
我现在没心情回答问题
Not in the mood for questions.
先抽烟
Cigarettes first.
我知道这很奇怪但是露丝总是在我房♥间里
I know it's weird, but Ruth is always in my room
根本没法甩掉那姑娘
and there is no getting rid of the girl.
你在开玩笑吗这太棒了
Are you kidding me? This is‐‐this is great.
在豪华轿车里
I mean, a limo?
很经典
Very classy.
可以好好伸展腿我不说话了
So much leg room and I'll stop talking now.
你不会相信的
You are not gonna believe‐‐
你把美妙的毒素都往外泄了帕吉
You're letting out all the good poisons, Pudge.
谁死了
Who died?
我的未来
My future.
恭喜你帕吉
Congratulations, Pudge.
明天你就有单人间了
As of tomorrow, you have a single.
你今晚做什么阿♥拉♥斯加
What you doing tonight, Alaska?
要来训练吗
Wanna come to practice?
-不用了 -好吧
‐ I'm good. - Okay.
我有了新棍子凶你高地
I got that new stick, bro.
我知道这是违反规定的
Yeah, I know. It's against regulations.
-并没有 -嗯
- No, it ain't. - Yep.
我们今年要拿到4A
We gonna go 4A this year, right?
-我不行了 -是啊伙计
- I mean, I'm down. - Yeah, man.
-新来的这小子是谁 -等等
‐ Hey, who's the new kid? - Oh, hold on.
我觉得你来错地方了
I think you at the wrong place.
这里不是伯明翰预科学校
This ain't Birmingham Preschool.
我有个问题
I got a question.
你这么矮是不是只要付
Did you have to pay half tuition
一半的学费
because you're so short?
谢谢你的澄清
Wow, thank you for that clarification.
我来猜猜你用光了你的字典
Let me guess, you just used up
才凑出那一句话的吧
your whole vocabulary in that one sentence.
-厉害了 -你给我闭嘴
- That's impressive - Why don't you shut up?
好了伙计们少分泌点睾丸激素
All right, fellas. Let's cut back on the testosterone.
你可不想凯文的蛋蛋早熟掉了
We don't want Kevin's balls to drop prematurely.