寻找阿拉斯加

Looking for Alaska S01E01

Part 3 Oct. 26, 2019, 10:25 a.m.

former student, current dick.
我刚来这里时
When I first got here,
老鹰只是一个小小的历史老师
the Eagle was just a lowly history teacher
直到我们原来的校长哈里斯老师死了
till our prior dean, Mr. Harris, dropped dead.
尸骨都未寒呢他就上位了
Body wasn't even cold yet, and he was already moving in.
他们说是心脏病但我持保留态度
They say it was a heart attack, but I have my suspicions.
你是说老鹰为了成为学校的老大
You're saying that the Eagle committed murder
而杀了人
to become a school administrator?
你也看到他的脸了那简直就是噩梦
You saw his face. It's the stuff of nightmares.
我觉得他会盯着我的灵魂
I felt like he was staring into my soul.
你下次看到那副神情你也完了
Next time you see that look, you busted.
阿♥拉♥斯加说那是末日凝视
Alaska calls it "the look of doom."
阿♥拉♥斯加
Alaska?
我们的下一站因为她有香烟
Our next stop, 'cause she has the cigarettes.
你有钱吗
You got money?
嗯但是我不抽烟
Um, yeah, but I--I don't really smoke.
太好了因为我抽
Perfect, 'cause I do.
好了
There, done.
经典直白
Classy and sensible.
这就是我帕吉这就是我的T恤上写的字
That is me, Pudge. That is me to a fucking tee.
如果你听到三声敲门那就是老鹰
You ever hear three knocks, it's the Eagle.
永远只敲一下
Always knock once.
天啊
Oh, my God!
是上校吗
Is that the Colonel?
快进来
Get on in here!
阿♥拉♥斯加
Alaska.
-我告诉你 -怎么了
- Oh, so--so get this. - What?
暑假第一天
Okay, first day of summer,
我在阿♥拉♥巴马州的奥文站
I'm in grand ol' Vine Station, Alabama...
真棒
Exciting.
和一个叫贾斯汀的人一起
I'm with this guy Justin.
我坐在他的沙发上看电视
I'm sitting on his couch watching TV.
别忘了我已经和杰克在交往了
Mind you, I'm already dating Jake, right?
我现在还是和他在交往很神奇
I'm still dating him, miraculously enough.
但是我和贾斯汀从小
But Justin and I, we've been friends
就是朋友
since we were kids.
于是我们就坐在沙发上
So, we're just sitting on the couch,
看着《办公室》
watching the The Office,
聊着SAT什么的
talking about SATs or something.
我们就在聊天
So we're just chatting.
我正在说一个类比的句子
And I'm in the middle of a sentence about analogies
然后突然间他抓住了我的胸
when all of a sudden, he just honks my boob.
-不会吧 -就这样
- No. - Just like that.
就是一个持续了两三秒的抓♥胸♥
Just like a much-too-firm two, three second honk.
你敢相信吧
Can you believe it?
我想的第一件事是
And the first thing I thought was:
"我要怎么扯掉我胸上的这只爪子
"Okay, how do I extricate this claw from my boob
不要留下终生的痕迹呢"
before it leaves permanent marks?"
我想到的第二件事就是
And the second thing I thought was:
"我等不及要告诉铎美和上校了"
"I cannot wait to tell Takumi and the Colonel."
太疯狂了
That's crazy.
你可以放手了
You can let go now.
这个听了我的故事不笑的家伙是谁
Who's this guy not laughing at my story?
-我的室友迈尔斯·要去·哈尔特
- My roommate, Miles "to go" Halter,
又称帕吉
aka Pudge.
帕吉会记下人们的遗言
Pudge memorizes people's last words.
他还有钱买♥♥你的烟
He also has money for your cigarettes.
帕吉这是阿♥拉♥斯加
Pudge, this is Alaska.
她这暑假被人抓♥胸♥了
She got her boob honked this summer,
你现在肯定很了解了
which you are now well aware.
你真的记遗言吗
You really memorize last words?
嗯想考考我吗
Yeah. You wanna quiz me?
肯尼迪
Jfk.
"很明显"
"That's obvious."
-该死 -是吗
- Oh, shit. - Is it now?
不这就是他的遗言
Oh, no. Those are his last words.
有人说"总统先生
Someone said, "Mr. President,
你不能说达拉斯不爱你"
you can't say Dallas doesn't love you."
他说 "很明显"
And he said, "That's obvious,"
然后就中枪了
and then he got shot.
天啊好可怕
God, that's awful.
见到你很高兴帕吉
Nice meeting you, Pudge.
下次听了我的故事记得笑
Next time laugh at my story.
几分钟后见
Meet you boys in a few.
你走路很快
You walk very quickly.
不是所有人
Not everyone's gifted
都长着长鸡腿帕吉
with long-ass chicken legs, Pudge.
勤能补拙
I compensate.
你看到那个了吗
You see that?
那是天鹅吗
Is that a swan?
那天鹅是撒旦的产物
That swan is the spawn of Satan.
不要再靠近它了
Never get closer to it than we are right now.
它会把你撕成碎片
It will rip you to fucking pieces.
但是它真美
But it's so beautiful.
危险的东西总是很美丽
The dangerous ones always are.
快上
Come on, go!
她叫阿♥拉♥斯加·杨
Her name's Alaska Young.
她来自奥文站
She's from Vine Station.
你开车经过那地方的时候都不会留意
You could drive past it without noticing it,
据我所知的确就不值得留意
and from what I understand, you ought to.
她还提到了有男朋友
And she mentioned something about a boyfriend?
上帝啊
Jesus.
你就是摸了一个胸就迷上了
You touch one boob, and you obsessed.
他叫杰克在上大学
His name's Jake, college boy,
特别帅气
handsome son of a bitch.
还是个女权主义者
He's a feminist.
她还没有劈腿这还是头一遭
She hasn't cheated on him yet, which is a first.
这是你将要经历的日子
帕吉欢迎你来到吸烟洞
Pudge, I'd like to welcome you to the Smoking Hole.
我们能在这里吸烟吗
So, we're allowed to smoke down here?
当然不能
Of course not.
你这支飓风基本没抽过
That was a barely-smoked Hurricane.
简直太忘恩负义了
That's just plain ungrateful.
我不能惹上麻烦
Oh, I just can't get in trouble.
我爸妈会杀了我的特别是我妈妈
My parents would kill me, especially my mom.
你会惹上麻烦的
You're gonna get in trouble.
问题是到时候你会怎么做
Now the question is, what do you do when it happens?
我告诉你你不能怎么做
I'll tell you what you can't do.
告密
Rat.
我特别痛恨周中勇士
I hate the Weekday Warriors with a fiery passion
还有牙医跟我父亲
reserved for dental work and my father,
但是我绝对不会告他们的密
but I would never rat on them.
这就是你今天从我身上学到的帕吉
If you learn anything from me today, Pudge, let it be this.
永远永远不要告密
Never, never, never rat.
明白了吗
You got me?
你确定吗
Are you sure?
嗯我明白
Yeah, I got it.
这所学校对一些人很重要
This school is important to people.
这儿也许看上去像是一个被杀手天鹅控制的夏令营
It may look like a summer camp patrolled by a killer swan,
但是来这里上学的人觉得这里很重要
but to the people who go here, it matters.
很不幸已经到了我
Unfortunately, we've reached the hour
必须要去见我女朋友的时间了
where I'm obligated to see my girlfriend.
等等你还有女朋友
Wait, you've got a girlfriend?
别提醒我我真是受不了她
Don't remind me. I can't stand her.
但是她也受不了我
But then again, she can't stand me.
这就是和周中勇士交往付出的代价吧
I guess that's what I get for dating a Weekday Warrior.
你不是说你像痛恨牙医一样
- Didn't you just say you hated them
痛恨他们吗
as much as dental work?
我包容万象帕吉
I contain multitudes, Pudge.
你一起来吗
You coming?
阿♥拉♥斯加不是要来找我们吗
Wasn't Alaska gonna meet us?