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Attention.
我们来玩个游戏
We are gonna play a game.
名字叫 好日子 坏日子
It is called "Best Day/Worst Day."
我从没听过还有这么个游戏
I ain't ever heard of no game like that before.
因为这游戏是我刚想出来的
That's because I just made it up.
规则很简单 每个人讲一个自己的故事
The rules are simple: everyone tells their story.
最好的故事可以不用喝酒
Whoever has the best one doesn't have to drink,
然后继续 直到有人玩不下去
then we keep going until one of y'all quits.
你怎么知道就不是你自己呢
Well, how do you know it's gonna be one of us?
我酒量最大 也最会讲故事
Well, I'm the best drinker and the best storyteller.
帕吉
Pudge.
从你开始吧
You may begin.
我能想一下吗
Can I have a second to think?
你要想一下才能讲故事也不会太精彩
Can't be that good if you gotta think about it.
-今天是我最好的一天 -饶了我吧
- Today's my best day. - Come on, man.
不 我说真的
No, seriously.
真的
Seriously.
我
I...
和一个漂亮的罗马尼亚女孩约会了
went on a date with a pretty Romanian girl.
我看到老鹰跳赛前舞
I watched the Eagle do the Macarena,
我放了烟花
I shot off fireworks,
我还差点被一只野生天鹅生吞活剥
and I was almost eaten alive by a feral swan.
但我现在在这里
But now I'm here...
和你们在一起
With all of you.
感觉像施了魔法
It feels pretty magical.
说得太俗气了吧
That is so corny.
对 是很俗气 我的屁♥股♥还在流血
Yeah, it is corny and my butt is bleeding
我很可能感染了禽流感
and I probably have the bird flu,
但今天是最棒的一天
but today is my best day.
我最棒的一天
My best day...
是我八岁的时候
I was eight years old.
我妈带我去动物园
My mom and I went to the zoo.
我喜欢长颈鹿 她喜欢大猩猩
I liked the giraffes and she liked the gorillas.
故事讲完了 最好的一天
End of story. Best day ever.
什么 太差劲了
What? That is so lame.
哪里差劲了
What's wrong with that?
-是啊 -我喜欢这故事
- Yes. - I liked it.
所以轮到你讲了
Which is why you get to go next.
好吧
Okay, um...
我最好的一天是
my best day is the day I won
我赢了六年级拼字比赛的那天
the sixth grade spelling bee.
我们家刚搬过来
We had just moved here
我爸妈不怎么会讲英语
and my parents barely spoke English
但他们帮我练习拼字
but they helped me practice.
然后当我赢了比赛的时候 就好像那是
And then when I won it was like...
最重要的事
the biggest deal.
他们站起来 拼命鼓掌
They stood up and clapped so loud.
我爱那种感觉
And I loved that feeling.
尴尬
Embarrassed...
但很骄傲
But proud.
好吧 我输了
All right, I lose.
我最棒的一天是摆脱处♥男♥的时候
My best day was when I lost my virginity.
两次
Twice.
你们要是以为我会告诉你们这个故事
And if you think I'm gonna tell you that story,
就得给我灌得大醉才行 垃圾们
you gotta get me a whole lot drunker than this, suckers.
好了
Well...
我最好的一天还没到来
my best day hasn't happened yet,
但我能看到
but I can see it.
将会是我给我妈买♥♥套房♥子的那天
That's gonna be the day I buy my mom a house.
一套豪♥宅♥
A big fucking house
就在溪涧正中间
right in the middle of Mountain Brook
就挨着周中战士爸妈的房♥子
right next to the Weekday Warriors' parents.
我会开车带她到那儿 亲手把钥匙给她
I'll drive her there and I'll hand her the keys...
就像电视上演的那样
Just like they do on TV.
我会说
I'ma just be like...
我们到家了 妈妈
"We home, Ma."
那将会是我生命中最好的一天
Man, that'd be the best day of my life.
好的 上校
Okay, Colonel.
这轮你赢了
You won that round.
现在来说最惨的一天吧
Now what's your worst day?
我最惨的一天
My worst day...
就是我爸离开的那天
was the day my dad left.
我就
I just...
一直等他打来电♥话♥ 解释清楚
Kept waiting for him to call and explain it.
但他没有打过
But he never did.
我不知道 我
I don't know, I...
以为他或许是道别的
thought he might have wanted to say good-bye.
你比我惨
Well, uh, you got me beat.
我那时十一岁
I was 11--mm...
我妈非让我报名参加足球队
and my mom made me sign up for a soccer team,
但我踢太烂了
but I sucked.
真的很烂
Like, I was really bad.
我永远都在坐板凳
I was always riding the bench.
但终于有场比赛
But then, this one game,
教练由于某种原因让我上场了
the coach put me in for some reason
我好兴奋
and I was so excited.
但我 我没意识到
But I--I didn't realize that, um...
我们半场时交换位置了
we switched sides at--at halftime.
操 帕吉 你踢了乌龙球
Shit, Pudge, you scored for the wrong team.
对
Yeah.
最惨的是 回家的大巴上
The worst part was, uh, the bus ride home.
坐的都是
Sitting with all these kids
恨我的小孩
who hated me.
真高兴你还能捡条命
So glad you were able to put your life back together.
我最惨的一天是1999年9月6号♥
Uh, my worst day is, uh, June 9, 1999.
我祖母在日本在一场车祸中去世
My grandmother died in a car accident in Japan.
我本来要两天后去探望她
I was supposed to visit her two days later,
和她度过一整个夏天的
spend the whole summer with her.
我唯一一次见她
The only time I ever got to see her
就是在她火化之前
was before she was cremated.
天啊
Damn.
我们真是一帮悲惨朋友
We are a sad group of friends.
不算你 帕吉
Minus you, Pudge.
谢了
Thanks.
劳拉
Lara?
我最惨的一天是我们离开罗马尼亚的那天
My worst day is the day we left Romania.
直到那天我父母才告诉我
It wasn't until the day before that my parents told me
我不能把我的狗狗卢克米娜一起带走
I wasn't allowed to bring Rukmina, my dog.
那之前的六年 它都是我最好的朋友
For six years she had been my best friend
而我只能把它寄养给陌生人
and I had to leave her with strangers.
狗狗的故事
Fucking dog stories.
每次我都受不了
They get me every time.
好吧
All right.
该你了 兄弟
It's your turn, buddy.
我妈妈带我去公园的第二天
The day after my mom took me to the zoo,
我在楼上做作业
I was upstairs doing my homework...
听到了厨房♥里的尖叫声
When I heard a scream from the kitchen.
我跑下楼
And I ran downstairs and...
看见我妈妈躺在地上抱住她的头 抽搐不已
saw my mom lying on the floor holding her head, jerking.
我吓坏了
I freaked out.
我应该打电♥话♥报♥警♥
I should have called 911
但我只会大叫 哭泣
but all I did was just scream and cry...
一直到她不再抽搐
until she stopped jerking.
我以为她只是睡着了
I thought she was just asleep.
那样的话
And that...
折磨她的东西就停止了
whatever had hurt her didn't anymore,
所以我坐在她旁边
so I sat down next to her...
直到一个小时后 我爸回家了
until my dad came home an hour later.
他开始冲我吼 你为什么不报♥警♥
And he started yelling at me, "Why didn't you call 911?"
他试着做心肺复苏 但那时候
And he tried to do CPR but by then she was--
她已经凉透了
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