丽芙和玛蒂（2013）

Liv & Maddie S01E14

Part 2 March 22, 2021, 9:18 a.m.

What is your problem?
你知道吗我一说起这事
You know what? I just don't feel comfortable
就浑身不舒服
talking about it.
那行我们必须要趁着选拔赛前
Okay, well, we have to get to the bottom
把你所有的问题都消灭干净
of whatever this is before tryouts.
如果你不愿意和我聊天的话
And if you're not willing to talk to me,
也许我们就需要一些专业的帮助了
then maybe we need some professional help.
谁刚刚说了专业的帮助来着
Did someone say "professional help"?
这一天终于到来了
It is finally happening.
谢谢你们来到我的办公室见我
Thank you for seeing me in my office.
谢谢你开车带我们来
Thank you for the ride.
那是我觉得在这了谈心会更加舒适
Well, I thought we would be more comfortable here.
而你们看见我所有的学历和证书时
And I thought you'd be more receptive to my words
也能更好的听进我的话
if you could see all my degrees.
总之维罗不会投球了
So, Willow can't pitch.
对极了治好她
Exactly. Fix her.
那么你就告诉我这幅罗夏测试图
So you tell me what is the first thing
（注：罗夏测试通过墨迹图来反映被测者心理状况）
在你脑中最像什么
that pops into your head.
（墨迹图为左右对称剧中测试方法不规范）
乔伊
Joey.
乔伊
Joey.
乔伊在骑一匹长得像乔伊的马
Joey on a horse that looks like Joey.
好了
Okay.
我看来要大胆推测
I'm gonna go out on a limb here
认定这其中肯定和乔伊
and say that this has something
有密不可分的联♥系♥
to do with Joey.
哇你真在行
Wow, you're good.
乔伊
Joey?
这一切都是关于乔伊的
This whole thing is about Joey?
玛蒂在这里我们要心平气和
Maddie, this is a safe place.
不要随意给别人下定论
We do not judge,
哪怕这是你脑中
even if it is the first place
第一个想去的地方
your brain wants to go.
那么你和乔伊到底是什么关系
Okay, so what is going on with you and Joey?
没任何关系这就是症结了
Nothing. That's the problem.
正是春意盎然之时
It's springtime.
爱意弥漫在空中鸟儿在枝头谈情说爱
Love is in the air, birds are chirping,
可我魂牵梦绕的一切就是
but all I can think about is
为何我的小乔伊不跟我谈情说爱啊
why doesn't my sweet little Joey bird chirp at me?
那到底乔伊和你的投球有什么关系
Okay, what... what does Joey have to do with your pitching?
我集中不了注意力
I can't concentrate.
当我投球时我直视着你
When I pitch, I look directly at you.
- 对的 - 但我每次看你
- Right. - But every time I look at you,
脑中就浮现出乔伊
all I see is Joey.
我长得像乔伊不可能
I look like Joey?! No, okay.
我们都戴眼镜
We both wear glasses,
可这就是唯一的相同点了好不
but that is where the similarity ends, right?
对不
Right?!
所以你投球水平这么烂
So the reason you stink at pitching
责任在我头上
is because of me?
对你们俩长得简直像极了
Yeah. You guys look exactly like each other.
只不过他才能打动我
Except he makes it work.
哦太好了你在这儿我必须要找人聊聊
Oh, good, you're here. I really need to talk.
噢我洗耳恭听
Oh, I'm all ears.
好的维罗在低谷期她投不了球
Okay, Willow's in a slump and she can't pitch,
这会让她进不了学校垒球队的
and that's gonna keep her from making varsity softball.
体育运动我不在行
Sports.
但是她投不了球的原因
But the reason she can't pitch
是因为她无法全神贯注于任何事
is because she can't concentrate on anything
一心只有她对乔伊的疯狂迷恋
other than her massive crush on Joey.
哦感情这东西我在行
Ooh, feelings. Yay.
维罗是个好苗子
Willow's just so awesome,
我希望她能意识到大千世界除了乔伊以外
and I wish she would realize that there's so much more out there
还有无数的新鲜玩意等着被发掘
in the world for her other than just Joey.
那就让她看看大千世界的新鲜玩意啊
Okay, so make her see that there's more out there.
在她的储物柜里留一张匿名者的情书
Put a love note from a secret admirer
她就会把乔伊忘得一干二净的
in her locker, and she'll forget all about Joey.
丽芙这个主意棒极了
Liv, that's actually a really good idea.
事实上我还记得四年级时
Actually, I remember in fourth grade
当我沉湎于马基·斯蒂文而不能自拔时
when I was so obsessed with marky Stevens
我简直都玩不好儿童足球了
that I literally couldn't even play kickball.
之后我收到了一封匿名情书写信的原来是
And then I got a secret admirer note from...
你
You.
之后谁在学校儿童足球赛
And who went on to win top prize
独占鳌头了啊
in the school kickball-y thing?
别说了不用谢
Uh-huh, you're welcome.
- 你在干嘛呢 - 噢
- Whatcha doing? - Ooh!
别这么偷偷靠近我
Do not sneak up on me like that.
你在维罗的储物柜前干什么呢
What are you doing at Willow's locker?
更重要的是我在维罗的储物柜前干什么呢
More importantly, what am I doing at Willow's locker?
那是一张留言条吗
Is that a note?
对你千万别和任何人说
Yeah, actually, don't tell anyone,
但是我在帮我们俩一个忙
but I'm doing us both a favor.
这是一封匿名的情书
It's a secret admirer note
来帮维罗移情别恋
to get Willow to stop obsessing about you.
我希望你写好点
I hope you wrote a good one.
维罗犯的乔伊病已经病入膏肓了
Willow's got a bad case of the Joeys,
我还不确定有药能治好
and I'm not sure there's a cure.
唔我脖子后边的汗毛立起来了
Hmm, the hairs on the back of my neck just stood up.
维罗要来了快跑
Willow's coming. Run.
乔伊你好啊
Hey, Joey.
美女你好啊
Hey, beautiful.
这是什么
What's this?
有人喜欢我
Secret admirer?
哦不不会吧
Oh-ho. No way.
看起来她相信了
It looks like she's buying it.
别学我这么站
Stop standing like me.
我们长得又不像
We do not look alike.
埃文我知道你没拿到蓝带
Evan, I know you're disappointed
失望极了
that you didn't get your blue belt.
说实话我挺好的
Actually, I'm cool.
我会把它看做我人生旅途的一部分
I've accepted it as a part of life's journey.
得了吧埃文我们是一队的
Come on, Evan. We're a team.
你不可能是这么想的
That can't be how you really feel.
你说对了是我妈让我这么说的
You're right. My mom told me to say that.
你想象不到我以前都把什么看做了
You wouldn't believe the things I've accepted
人生旅途的一部分
as part of life's journey.
但我真的很想拿到蓝腰带
But I really do want my blue belt.
那我们就要释放出你的龙之真气
Then we've got to unleash your inner dragon.
你也听见老师这么讲了
You heard the sensei.
如果你下节课之前
If you don't become a blue belt
拿不到蓝带的话我们就要甩下你调课了
by our next class, we move on without you.
嘿别因为我水平差劲
Hey, just because I stink
就以为我听不懂人话
doesn't mean I don't understand English.
我们要让你足够愤怒
We are gonna get you angry enough
来释放你积攒已久的龙气
to release all your pent up inner aggression.
这是你妈让你带着的
This is the new balance plate lunchbox
营养均衡板午餐盒对吗
your mom made you get, right?
但你想不想要酷到让人♥大♥跌眼镜的
But didn't you want the cool ufc lunchbox
终极格斗赛特款午餐盒呢
with the dude's eyeball falling out?
我妈认为那种太暴♥力♥了
My mom thought it was too violent.
再说了这款有个胡萝卜暖瓶呢
Plus, this one had a carrot thermos.
埃文如果你想要格斗锦标赛午餐盒
Evan, if you want that cool ufc lunchbox,
你就得把营养均衡饭盒砸了
you need to smash the balance plate.
来吧伙计深吸一口气再呼出点火苗来
Come on, dude. Reach down deep and breathe some fire.
你知道的我还是别这么做了
You know, I better not.
我妈说如果我不把它带回家
Mom says if I don't bring it home,
我就吃不到甜品了
I don't get my dessert.
而你是知道我多喜欢生杏仁的
And you know how I love raw almonds.
丽芙准备好《太空狼人》摄影了吗
Liv, you ready for your "space werewolves" photo shoot?
退后愚蠢的人类不然就尝尝我愤怒的滋味吧