丽芙和玛蒂（2013）

Liv & Maddie S01E10

Part 3 March 22, 2021, 9:17 a.m.

喔吼吼
Whoa-ho-ho!
圣诞袍绝对不是你家的厕所
Santa's lap is not a toilet.
这已经是撒尿的第五个小孩了
That is like the fifth kid to do that.
年轻人的膀胱就这么差劲么
What is going on here?
免费的苹果汁哈
Free apple cider.
记住不把它喝个底朝天就别想去见圣诞老人
Remember, you cannot get on santa's lap until you drink every last drop.
晚上
Good...
好斯蒂夫伯恩特的老乡们
Evening, stevens point!
在此
And...
欢迎大伙来到第四频道由格林斯坦百吉圈赞助的
Welcome to the channel four tree lighting holiday spectacular.
圣诞亮灯特备呈现
Brought to you by greenstein's bagels...
你们的圣诞大餐
Your schmear for christmas cheer.
超赞的大家好我是强尼·尼比斯
Delicious. Hey, everybody, I'm johnny nimbus.
唯一会跟你们打包票说圣诞会下雪的天气预报员
The only weatherman guaranteeing you a white christmas.
没错没有任何消息说今天会下雪
That's right. No other channel's predicting snow.
八频道就是这么讨厌
Why you gotta hate, channel eight?
老天啊给我点雪吧
Cue my snow.
快点啊
Come on.
来了来了
Here it comes.
随时会下哦好咧伙计们雪一定会下的
Any minute now. All right, it's coming, folks.
别担心这个了现在让我们欢迎
Don't worry about it, but hey, right now, I want you to give it
家乡小甜心丽芙·鲁尼
Up for hometown sweetheart liv rooney!
还有新人珍妮·肯恩
And newcomer jenny keene.
驯鹿驾着马车停在屋顶
Up on the housetop reindeer pause.
圣诞老人悄悄下了车
Out jumps good old santa claus.
背着好多好多礼物从烟囱进来
Down through the chimney with lots of toys.
给小不点们准备了绚丽的惊喜
All for the little ones, christmas joys.
好一头不知感恩的小驯鹿
How dare that ungrateful little reindeer
胆敢抢我风头和我穿一样的可爱超萌圣诞装
Come out wearing the same cutie claus outfit as me.
可恶的是她穿着胆敢比我穿着还可爱
And look cuter than me in it.
噢噢噢谁不想
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
噢噢噢谁不想
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
爬上屋顶嘀嗒嘀嗒
Up on the housetop, click click click.
去圣诞老人的烟囱探个究竟
Down through the chimney with good saint nick.
哎哟不好意思我有点太淘气了
Oops. I think I just landed myself on the naughty list.
噢噢噢谁不想
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
噢噢噢谁不想
Ho ho ho, who wouldn't go?
爬上屋顶嘀嗒嘀嗒
Up on the housetop, click click click.
去圣诞老人的烟囱探个究竟
Down through the chimney with good saint nick.
你和珍妮什么时候编排了这么有喜剧性的表演啊啊
I don't know when you and jenny worked out that comedy routine,
太搞笑了
But it was hysterical.
不那不是计划之中的她要毁掉我
No, that wasn't planned. She was trying to destroy me.
得啦丽芙那个可爱的小女孩才不是想毁了你呢
Come on, liv. That sweet little girl was not trying to destroy you.
你们难道没看到橡皮条都被她打断了吗
Did you all not just see the candy cane beat down?
她真是不择手段地想让我出丑啊
She was doing absolutely everything she could to make me look bad.
丽芙你行了吧
Give her a break, liv.
你有没有想起你在她这个年龄时的样子
Do you not remember how you were at her age?
绝对不像她一样丧尽天良
I was not a monster like that.
-整理衣橱咯 -圣诞树还没忙完呢
- I have to go get wardrobe. - got to work on that tree.
喔喔喔
Ho ho ho.
你应该是最后一个了吧
So you are the last kid on santa's lap.
让我想想
What are you gonna do?
你要在我身上尿尿还是喷我一脸口水呢
Pee on me, spit in my face,
要往我衣服里洒奇痒粉还是把我的眼镜扔到百米开外
Pour itching powder down my suit, throw my glasses in the bushes?
小鬼这些痛苦我今天都经历过了
I have seen it all today, kid.
来吧你挑一个早完事早闪人
Just pick one and do it quick.
用我的胡子擦鼻涕忍♥无可忍♥
Blowing your nose in my beard was not an option.
给我走开
Get off of me.
你终于来了帕克
Parker, there you are.
十美元放到罐子里去我们赚了多少了
Here's 10 bucks. Add it to the pot. How much did we end up with?
加上这十美元的话是是
Including the 10 bucks, that would be...
还是十美元
10 bucks.
啥你一个下午收钱收的手都该抽筋了吧
What? They've been handing you money all afternoon.
钱呢
Where did it go?
对不起啦我是说十美元还有这个
I'm sorry. I meant 10 bucks and this.
咆哮巨龙直升机
One screaming dragon helicopter.
你竟然花光了我们的血汗钱给自己买♥♥了个模型飞机
You used all of our santa money and bought yourself the helicopter?
我还收买♥♥那些小孩让他们在你身上尿尿喷你口水
I also paid kids to pee on you, spit in your face,
往你衣服里洒奇痒粉把你的眼镜扔到百米开外
Pour itching powder down your suit, and throw your glasses into the bushes.
为什么啊
Why?
因为就在老妈决定给我买♥♥模型飞机的时候
Because mom was gonna get that helicopter for me
你突然跳出来美梦破碎
Until you wrecked my dream.
这就是圣诞复仇计划
Welcome to christmas revenge.
怎样啊
Ho-ho-how you like me now?
我承受这些该死的痛苦就是为了给你买♥♥圣诞礼物
The only reason I did this santa stand was so I could pay off your christmas present.
我费尽心思让妈妈别给你买♥♥
I talked mom out of getting you that helicopter...
是因为我已经买♥♥了呀
Because I already got it for you.
真对不起没想到你对我这么好
I'm sorry, munch. I had no idea you cared.
我也对不起这就是圣诞吧
Me either. I guess it's just the christmas spirit.
来吧
Come on.
你抱我纯粹是因为你爱我呢
Are you hugging me because you love me,
还是因为你身上尿味十足
Or because you're covered in kid pee?
都是
Mm, why can't it be both?
圣诞前夜
'twas the night before christmas!
公园之中
And all through the park...
大家都在说强尼为啥圣诞树还不亮
There are a bunch of people saying "Hey, johnny, why's that tree still dark?"
好咧伙计们演出开始前
All right, folks. Well, before our big show-stopping solo,
丽芙·鲁尼将要为我们点亮这棵圣诞树
Liv rooney has the honor of lighting that tree.
不如我们把她叫出来来
So let's get her out here, huh? Come on.
谢谢你约翰能由我来点亮这棵树真是个荣幸
Thank you, johnny. Lighting this tree is a great honor...
现在我想要把这个荣幸给一个及其年轻的
But it is one that I would like to pass on to the young and...
很有天赋的小甜心珍妮·肯恩
Very talented jenny keene.
这是属于她的时刻
This is her moment.
也许珍妮需要一个真正关心她的人
Maybe all jenny needed was that one person to truly care about her
引导她走向至善至美呢
So that she could blossom into the greatest version of herself.
给我走开小黄毛
Get off my stage, blondie.
好吧也许是我错了
Okay. Maybe not.
圣诞快乐斯蒂文伯恩斯的人们
Merry christmas, stevens point.
太好了
Ha! Yes!
爸爸这东西是这么冒烟的吗
Uh, dad, is that supposed to be smoking like that?
好像珍妮·肯恩把圣诞节毁得渣都不剩了
Well, it looks like little jenny keene just ruined christmas.
圣诞树完蛋了圣诞树完蛋了
Christmas tree down. Christmas tree down!
丽芙·鲁尼你耍我
Liv rooney, you set me up!
这个女人毁了我的大好时刻
She ruined my big moment.
我恨这个镇子我恨你们所有人
I hate this town, and everyone in it!
女士们先生们
And that, ladies and gentlemen...
刚刚其实是珍妮·肯恩在模仿埃比尼泽"吝啬鬼"啦
Was little jenny keene's impression of ebenezer scrooge.
耶珍妮
Yay, jenny. [chuckles]
多么有才华横溢的小演员啊不是吗
Oh, what a talented little actress, am I right?
我猜今天的表演就是这样了吧
So that's probably it for the show.
还是该来一句圣诞快乐
Merry christmas?
她还真是个小魔鬼
She really is a monster.
是啊我早就告诉你了妈妈
Yeah, I told you, mom.
她比我小时候要糟糕几百倍呢
She is way worse than I was.
记住今天可是圣诞节哦亲爱的
It's christmas, sweetie. Sure.
结束了都结束了
Well, I guess the show's over.
-太失败了 -亲爱的我知道
- it's a bummer. - oh, I know, honey. I was...
妈妈真的很期待你的表演的哦
I was really looking forward to your big solo.
好戏在后头呢
Don't give up yet.
我和老爸要拯救这个圣诞节了
I think dad and I may have actually found a way to save christmas.
你们就准备好吧过一个不插电的圣诞节
Get ready for "Christmas unplugged".
丽芙就可以唱《下雪吧》
And liv gets to sing "Let it snow".
唯一的一首歌♥对吧
That is the only song you'll be singing, right?
外面的天气真可怕
Oh, the weather outside is frightful.
但是屋里的炉火好温馨
But the fire is so delightful.
既然我们没有地方可去
And since we've no place to go...
就下雪吧下雪吧下雪吧
Let it snow, let it snow. Let it snow.
好像没有要停的意思
Oh, it doesn't show signs of stopping.
正好可以爆爆米花
And I've bought some corn for popping.
把灯光调暗好好感受这温馨
The lights are turned way down low.