糟糕历史（2009）

Horrible Histories S07E02

Part 1 Jan. 2, 2021, 2:36 p.m.

*恐怖都铎华丽乔治*
*Terrible Tudors, gorgeous Georgians*
*卑劣斯图亚特邪恶维多利亚*
*Slimy Stuarts, vile Victorians*
*悲惨战役凶残争斗*
*Woeful wars, ferocious fights*
*昏暗古堡英勇骑士*
*Dingy castles, daring knights*
*恐怖难以言表*
*Horrors that defy description*
*凶狠凯尔特可怕古埃及*
*Cut-throat Celts, awful Egyptians*
*凶残维京冷血罪行远古的惩罚*
*Vicious Vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times*
*罗马人堕落恶心又冷血*
*Romans, rotten, rank, and ruthless*
*穴居人野蛮残酷不长牙*
*Caveman, savage, fierce and toothless*
*绝妙古希腊聪明大圣人*
*Groovy Greeks, brainy sages*
*卑鄙又卑微就是中世纪*
*Mean and measly Middle Ages*
*血腥故事无限多*
*Gory stories we do that*
*且听鼠君对你说*
*And your host a talking rat*
*历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery*
*欢迎收看*
*Welcome to*
*糟糕历史*
*Horrible Histories.*
《糟糕历史》为你呈现
Horrible Histories presents...
杰出的探险家
从很久很久以前
Since the dawn of time,
探险家
人类刚踏出非洲开始
when humankind first set foot outside Africa,
我们就始终渴求新的土地和冒险
we have thirsted for new lands and new adventures.
欧洲五万年前
你以前来过这吗
Have you ever been here before?
没有我一直待在中东
No, never left the Middle East,
没人来过
none of us have.
不知道我会不会喜欢这里的食物
I'm not sure I'd like the food.
很好那我就是第一个踏上这片土地的人
Well, great, then I'm the first man to set foot on this land.
我是阿格
I'm Ugg
我发现了欧洲
and I have discovered Europe.
你好我觉得你是一个尼安德特人
Hello. I think you are a Neanderthal
我刚发现你所以...
and I've just discovered you, so...
人类继续分散在全球各地
Humankind continued to spread across the globe,
穿越重洋
crossing mighty oceans,
发现未有人烟的新大♥陆♥
discovering uninhabited new lands.
美洲公元一世纪
我是维京人莱夫·埃里克松
I am the Viking Leif Erikson,
比哥伦布早五百年抵达美洲
被认为是第一个发现北美洲的欧洲探险家
我是第一个
and I am the first man ever
踏上这片全新的
to step foot on this new,
未被发现的土地的人
undiscovered land.
你好欢迎来到我家
Oh, hello. Welcome to my home.
你想喝点什么吗水要吗
Would you like anything? Water?
我们有纯净水和气泡水
We've got still or sparkling.
走开走开
Go away. Go away.
穿越重洋勇闯未知
Crossing mighty oceans, braving the unknown.
我詹姆斯·库克船长
I, Captain James Cook,
是第一个为大英帝国
am the first man ever to claim this new land
澳大利亚 1770年
发现这片新土地澳大利亚的人
for the British Empire, Australia.
我们几千年前就借助圆木漂过来了
Oi, we floated here on a log thousands of years ago.
还是说坐鳄鱼来的
Or was it a crocodile?
你听见了吗
Can you hear something?
好像是小袋鼠还是什么在叫
It sounded like a wallaby or something.
小袋鼠也有澳洲土著人的意思
走开
Go away.
就这样人类探险家的故事仍在继续
And so the story of human exploration continues.
我是尼尔·阿姆斯特朗
Hi, I'm Neil Armstrong,
月球 1969年
我是第一个踏上...
I'm the first man ever to step...
等等
Hang on,
这里确实没有别人在对吧
there's definitely no-one else here already, is there?
是我巴兹·奥尔德林
It's me, Buzz Aldrin,
第二个来到月球的人
second man on the moon.
不好意思巴兹但只有第一个人才重要
Sorry, this bit is really about first man, Buzz.
不过名字不错
A great name, though.
探险者们准备好上路了
The explorers get ready for the journey.
行了回鹰号♥登陆艇去
OK, that's it, go away to the Eagle.
现在
Now.
你知道吗我不知道为什么要大惊小怪
Do you know, I don't know why there's all this fuss
登月而已
about visiting the moon.
没什么气氛[空气]
There's not much atmosphere.
没什么气氛[空气]
Not much atmosphere.
我们了解第一个登月的人
OK, so we know all about the first person to land on the moon,
或跨越大西洋的人
or cross the Atlantic,
但貌似没人在意第一只老鼠
but no-one seems to care about the first rats.
所以我想当一个探险者
That's why I'm going to become a great explorer
找到古代下水道的源头
and find the source of ye ancient sewer pipe.
这有点像罗马皇帝尼禄
It's a bit like when the Roman emperor Nero
想要找到非洲尼罗河的源头
wanted to discover the source of the River Nile in Africa.
想象一下没有地图没有卫星导航的旅程
Imagine setting out on that journey with no map, no sat nav,
不知道你会看见什么
no idea what you might see.
实际上难度确实不小
Turned out to be just as tricky as it sounds.
罗马
罗马帝国
公元一世纪
The first century AD,
强大的罗马帝国吞并了已知的世界
and with the mighty Roman Empire covering the known world,
它的皇帝决定派出使节探寻未知领域
its glorious emperor decides to send his envoys into the unknown.
尼禄大帝
前进找到尼罗河的源头
Go forth and find the source of the Nile.
以皇帝的名义拿下它
Claim it in the name of the emperor.
亚历山大城
为了罗马的荣耀
The glory of Rome,
我们将找到尼罗河的源头
we will find the source of the River Nile.
-为了... -你还好吗
- To the glory of... - Are you good?
我还好真的太滑了
Yes, I'm all right. It's really slippery...
我吃到嘴里了
I got in my mouth.
三个月后
-为了罗马的荣耀 -为了...
- For the glory of Rome. - For the glory of...
我好像把头盔丢了
I think I've lost my helmet.
我的靴子好像也丢了
I've lost my boots. I think.
六个月后
为了爱...
For the love of...
我不喜欢太谨慎保守
I hate to be a stick in the mud,
但只有我觉得我们没有动过吗这几个月
but is it just me or have we not actually moved? For months?
我们动了我们肯定动了
Yes, we've moved. We've definitely moved.
那是我的头盔我们没动
Yes, that's my helmet, no, we haven't moved.
我们不可能找到尼罗河源头的
We're never going to find the source of the Nile.
把旗子插上我们回家吧
Stick the standard in and let's go home.
为了罗马的荣耀
For the glory of Rome!
好了回家
Done. Hometime.
这些罗马人真是疯了
These Romans are crazy.
-他穿着你的靴子 -把它们还回来
- He's got your boots on. - Oi, come back with those!
他们从未找到尼罗河源头
杰出的探险家
我们维京人不会被一点点泥巴
We Vikings wouldn't let a little mud stop us
阻挡了穿越欧洲及世界的脚步
on our travels across Europe and beyond.
我们勇敢面对冰雪大洋海怪
We braved ice, oceans, sea monsters.
好吧可能没有怪物
OK, maybe not monsters,
但这对一个民族来说是无上荣耀
but it was an incredible feat for one people to achieve.
但后来我们就不是一个民族了
But then we weren't one people.
从瑞典丹麦和挪威
There were lots of different Vikings from Sweden,
来了许多不同的维京人
Denmark and Norway.
人们从来都分不清谁是谁
People just couldn't tell us apart.
英格兰公元九世纪
长官我的家被维京人毁了
Officer, my home, ruined by Vikings.
别担心女士
Now, don't you worry, madam.
你能描述一下侵略者的长相吗
Can you describe your pillager?
他带头盔体型硕大金发体毛旺盛
He was a big, blonde, hairy man with a helmet.
完美不会占用您太长时间
Great, this shouldn't take long.
跟我来女士
Follow me, madam.
你能指认哪个嫌疑犯是真正的罪犯吗
Can you identify the culprit from this group of suspects?
你就是你
You. It was you.
真对不起
Am I so sorry.
你你对我的房♥子...
You. What you did to my...
你
You!
令人困惑不是吗
It's very confusing, isn't it?
他们长得都太像了