糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories S07E08
Part 5
Jan. 2, 2021, 2:37 p.m.
但有一位让我印象深刻
But one I do remember
威廉·格莱斯顿 一个无趣的老家伙
was a joyless old man called William Gladstone.
我一点也不喜欢他
I didn't like him at all.
所以我做了什么
So what did I do?
我是...
Did I...
A 让他全程站着开会
B 禁止他进入白金汉宫
C 假装他不存在
答案是A
The answer is A.
我让他在开会时全程站着
I made him stand up all through our meetings.
如果国王或女王没有入座
People aren't allowed to sit down
人们不得自行坐下
until the King or Queen has sat.
是这样吧 格莱斯顿
Isn't that right, Gladstone?
您说的是 陛下
Whatever you say, Your Majesty.
不坐
No.
还是不坐
No, no, no, no, no.
就是不坐下
Absolutely not! No.
说实在的 他们不是在攻击你就是在耍心眼
Honestly, they are either attacking you or they are being mean.
我可不会成为那样的统治者
Well that's not the sort of ruler I'm going to be.
不要皇冠 不要绶带 我希望人们
No more crown or sash, I want people to treat me
对我一视同仁
just like everyone else.
不要像法国的路易十四那样
Unlike Louis XIV of France.
他自称为太阳王
He called himself The Sun King
在他身边你可得对礼节倍加关注
and you really had to watch your manners around him.
但那时的礼节与现在相比
But manners back then were very different
非常不同 当然如此
from how they are now. Mais oui!
乔治 我不敢相信
George, I cannot believe
凡尔赛宫 1682年
我们真的来到了凡尔赛宫
we are actually in the Palace of Versailles.
虽然这里气味有点怪
It smells a bit funny,
但看看这些金饰 我就喜欢这个调调
but look at all the gold. I love a bit of gold.
亲爱的 你可是英国大使的夫人
Darling, you are the English ambassador's wife.
我们要觐见路易十四国王 别东张西望了
We're visiting King Louis XIV of France, so please stop gawping.
瞧瞧他们的假发 我就说我戴的这顶太小了
Look at their wigs! I told you mine was too small.
我的问题更紧急 夏洛特 我需要...
I've got more pressing concerns, Charlotte. Oh, no, I need...
..去如个厕
..Le pee-pee.
汝说什么
Excusez-moi?
我丈夫需要去一下厕所
My husband needs to go toilet!
厕所 凡尔赛宫里没有厕所
Toilet? There are no toilets in Versailles.
你可以随意...
You can go wherever...
..找地方解决
..You like.
楼梯间 壁炉
On ze staircase, in ze fireplace.
他们确实如此
我一般去窗帘后面解决 但那里已经有人了
I usually like to go behind that curtain, but it was occupied.
怪不得有股臭味
Oh, well, that explains why it stinks.
这也是为什么法国会出产如此美妙的香水
And why the French have such fabulous perfumes.
-那我就去那边... -注意
- I'm going to have to just go in the... - Regarde!
路易国王驾到
King Louis has arrived.
欢迎二位 你一定是新来的英国大使
Bienvenue, you must be the new English ambassador.
是的 陛下 很高兴见到您
Yes, yes, Your Majesty, it is a pleasure to meet you.
凡尔赛宫真是宏伟壮观
Versailles is absolutely magnificent.
是也 是也 是也
Oui, oui, oui, oui, oui!
-是也 -没错 这里能听到好多句是也
- Oui, oui. - Yes, it's so full of oui, oui, oui.
-夏洛特 -这里有七百个房♥间
- Charlotte! - It has 700 rooms.
-但是没有厕所 -呵 厕所可是...
- But no toilets. - Bof! Toilets are...
在英语里怎么说来着 白费钱财
Comment est-ce qu'on dit en anglais? A waste of money.
把便筒端来
Commode!
-希望你来的路上还算顺利 -我的天
- I trust your journey was pleasant. - Oh, my goodness.
加来的路可能不太好走
The road from Calais can be painful.
到处都有
Boulders are...
巨石
..Everywhere.
在凡尔赛
..When in Versailles...
怎么了
What?
大家都这么尿尿
Everyone else is doing a wee-wee.
你竟敢背对国王 先生
You dare to turn your back on a King, sir?
背对国王确实非常无礼
陛下
Your Majesty!
你真是粗鄙 先生
You are an animal, sir, an animal!
-我们能走了吗 -我觉得我尿不出来
- Can we go? - I don't think I can.
这么多人看着
Not with all these people watching.
历史版初次约会
伊丽莎白女王回来了 仍在寻找爱情
Queen Elizabeth is back, still looking for love.
达德利伯爵也是
And so is Lord Dudley.
又是你 你妻子怎么样了
You again! How's your wife?
她死了 从楼梯上摔下来
Well, she's dead, actually. Fell down some stairs,
摔断了脖子 太可怕了
broke her neck. Absolute nightmare.
但这意味着我们可以结婚了
But it does mean we can get married.
-人们不会认为是你杀了她吗 -没有证据
- Well, won't people think you killed her? - There's no proof.
因为不是我杀的 怎么会有证据
Because I didn't do it. Why would there be proof?
她滑倒了 我猜是踩到了松动的地毯
She, er, slipped. On some loose carpet. I reckon. Probably.
我不能卷入丑闻 所以我们不能结婚
Well, I can't be involved in a scandal, so we can't get married.
但如果你和别人结婚 我会让你痛不欲生
But, if you marry anyone else, I'll make your life hell,
生不如死
and a misery, and awful.
这就是我爱你的原因
That is why I love you.
也是怕你的原因
And fear you.
伊丽莎白最终还是决定结婚了
和她的国家
没错 我和英格兰结婚了 和我相当般配
That's right. I'm married to England. Suits me just fine.
床畔没有鼾声 而且这意味着
No snoring in bed. And I think it means
英格兰的每一个人
that everyone in the country
都得给我买♥♥礼物 所以是双赢
has to buy me a present so, win-win.
汉普顿宫见
See you in Hampton Court.
-你会没事的 -谢谢 弗莱德
- You'll be all right. - Thanks, Fred.
天涯何处无芳草
谢谢安慰 我已经体验过了
That's kind. I've already eaten.
历史版初次约会
-陛下 -你好
- Your Majesty? - Bonjour.
我知道我只是只普通的青蛙 但如果你吻我
I know I'm just a common frog, but if you kiss me
让我成为王子 我们便能从此幸福地生活
into a prince and we could live happily ever after.
那就来吧
Go on, then.
*历史不再是个谜*
*The past is no longer a mystery*
*但愿你喜欢糟糕历史*
*Hope you enjoyed Horrible Histories*
糟糕历史（2009）
Horrible Histories
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